I need all the hugs you can spare.

I started feeling so much better today. There was no real reason for it, but it felt good.

I saw my new counsellor for the first time today. I like her. We are going to attempt to work on HOW I can stop blaming myself for everything that happens around me. HOW I can stop thinking I need to be perfect in all things. And HOW to stop dwelling and dwelling on only the negative.

Do you think it will work? I have been like this for a very long time.

I have printed out all you words and hugs and love so whan the next "down" comes, I have you all to lift me up again.

Jen, anytime you need us, we are here for you. We love you!

Willie:)

HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGH HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS


My best friend since Jr. High dropped me like a hot potato several years ago, for no reason I know of. You just have to let them go. I just keep thinking how much I DO have in my life. Like all of you at PT! Hang in there, sweetie!

Jen, I'm so happy that you're feeling better today! :D
HUGS!!

You asked if you think it will work, and my response is an enthusiastic YES!
The fact that you are seeking the help of a counselor, if a HUGE step on the road to recovering from depression. I know. I've been there. It's a dark and ugly road sometimes, but when you find the right person (and meds) to help you...it's amazing how...normal...you can feel.

What is it with people named Lisa dropping friendships so easily? The friend I wrote about in my previous post...was a Lisa too! :eek:
Oh well, their loss, right?!

http://pages.prodigy.net/rogerlori1/...s/cathappy.gif

**hugs**
Karen

Jen, I heard once something that stuck with me.

Oprah said it - Ann Landers said it - Dear Abbey - I honestly don't remember.

But it was this......................

Ruminating about someone over a period of time is just giving them FREE RENT in your head!

More hugs being sent to you today as well.

Quote:

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Originally posted by jenluckenbach
I have printed out all you words and hugs and love so whan the next "down" comes, I have you all to lift me up again.

---

You know it's funny, but at work I have one wall that's dedicated to animal pictures. I call it my Wall of Fame and right beside it I've posted some pics of the July BBQ attendees. When work gets really stressful I close my door and look at the pics and remember the good time I had and all the Pet Talkers who care about me. It works for me and I pray that the words we have said here will carry you through all your "down" times.

more {{{HUGS}}} on the way.

luv
slick
xo

That was so good to read that you are feeling much better today.
You are worthy Jen. You owe it to yourself to be happy.

Quoted by Jen:
Do you think it will work? I have been like this for a very long time.

Think positive thoughts, Jen and it will work and it also makes it easier when you like your counsellor.

Like I had said before, don't listen to the negative thoughts in your head, focus on the positive things in your life. Your love for Charlie and his love for you. The love you have for your furbabies and the unconditional love they have for you.
The love and support from your PT friends.

We all know you are such a kind, caring, loving person Jen.
No one is perfect. The sooner you ease up on yourself, the sooner it will get easier for you.

Big time (((((HUGS))))) still on the way for you.

Are you getting sore yet from all HUGS.:D because we aren't going to stop.:)

Jen, you have made a huge step today .... you have found someone who can help you help yourself! You realize you need help, and you are willing to receive it! You are on your way, girl ... and we are all right here beside you!!!

((((HUGS))))
Kim:)

Jen I'm so pleased you're seeing a counsellor - and will it work - YES. YES. YES!!
You must be painfully honest with yourself - it'll hurt and you'll cry - and come out the other side feeling 'whole'.
And look what I've just found.....................[[[[[[[[[[HUGS. HUGS. HUGS. HUGS. HUGS. HUGS. HUGS.]]]]]]]]]]
Your in my thoughts sweetheart
Love Lynne xx

*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
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*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
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*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
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*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*

Quote:

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Originally posted by jenluckenbach
This thing really IS an emotional roller coaster, isn't it?

All I want is to be able to get through life without thinking that I ruin everything I touch.


Thanks.

---

Jen,

I've been in your shoes hun and have felt the same way before. I'm here to tell you now you DON'T ruin everything you touch. You've been wonderful not only to me, but all of us to come to this forum. You have friends here, and know that you are still in my prayers. If you ever need anyone to talk to I am here as well as everyone else.

Mina says to send you sandpaper kisses from her.

Quote:

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Originally posted by sirrahbed

*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
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Debbie, you are too much :D:D:D:D:D

I hope I'm not too late...
*Huggity Hug Hug Hug* :D
Sorry I haven't posted here until now, just add me to the hug list.;)

I bet posting some Biddy pictures would make you feel better, it would make me feel better. :)

Way to go Jen, keep those positive thoughts going, you are on your'e road to recovery, just keep taking one day at a time, and remember some days will be better than others, You are in my thoughts and we here in NZ send you heaps of hugs and well wishes. HUGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSS...................:)

Jen,

I've been thinking about you today. I'm glad to see the therapy is going well so far. :) When you find the right person for you, it really is excellent.

I love your idea to print out the nice comments. :)

Have a nice rest of the day.

Love, Kelly :)

Still thinking about you Jen and hoping that each day brings more joy into your heart.

luv
slick
xo

Thanks everyone. Just so you know, I AM still reading all the posts. They mean a whole lot.

Since my councelling sessions are going to be once every other week, and the first session was just a chance for her to find out about me, I can't really say if it is helping yet or not.

I have been feeling better (no crying, etc.) but darn it, I simply cannot stop wondering (this is one of my biggest problems). I want to move past the hurt, but without knowing WHY it takes a very long time.

{{{{HUGS}}}}

Jen there is nothing worse than not knowing why! I too am one of the "I just have to know" people. How can you help fix a problem when you don't even know what the problem is?! It would be driving me crazy too.
I can relate this to my relationship with my mother because everytime I open my mouth I get into trouble. I'm 42 years old and still trying to figure it all out. I know in my heart that there are just some people whom you can not please and that just want drama all the time. If there is none they will create it out of something innocent. The reason I'm sharing this is because I want you to realize that your friend may be the same way. My mother makes friends right and left but she can't keep them because she does this kind of stuff. It's not that the other person really did anything bad but she has the need to create something or blow it way out of proportion just for the sake of excitement.
If you had done something that most of us would think was bad enough to never speak to you again then you would have to know what it was. I think you getting counseling for your depression and how you deal with things like this is a great idea but please remember that this person also has some problems and you can't fix her. It's one of the hardest things to except in life, I think, when you can't fix something.
You keep taking care of yourself and let the rest of this just work itself out. Don't forget that this involves someone else and you can not possibly be the only one to blame. The way she has handled this says she has some serious issues too.
We love ya Jen! Hang tough and keep on being you!:)

*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
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*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*

Quote:

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Originally posted by jenluckenbach
...I saw my new counsellor for the first time today. I like her. We are going to attempt to work on HOW I can stop blaming myself for everything that happens around me. HOW I can stop thinking I need to be perfect in all things. And HOW to stop dwelling and dwelling on only the negative.

---

Jen: Boy does this sound familiar. I lived like that for many years. What finally made a difference for me is the realization that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PERFECTION. We all have different definitions of what "perfection" looks like. There is NO way to achieve it -- it shouldn't even be a goal. Life itself, is not about perfection. Life evolved (if you believe in evolution) from a series of fortunate accidents and coincidences. Our lives are like that too. From every so-called "negative" experience, we learn something positive.

The other thing that helped me was learning to GET OVER MYSELF. How stuck-up was I to think that I was so powerful that the world revolved around me? Just my mear presence effected change in others?? I was so instrumental in other's lives that I was ultimately responsible for every thought, feeling or action they took ???? :eek: It came as quite a shock to me to learn that I wasn't responsible for other's actions -- I didn't have that kind of power so why should I feel like their actions had anything to do with me?

I learned that people's actions have nothing to do with me. It's all about them. So, why should I feel responsible for them? Lisa made the decision based upon what's going on in her life -- not yours. It would be great if she could give you an explanation. But, really what could she say that would be helpful? Let her work out her issues and you work out yours. Someday, you may be able to be friends again or at least make peace with each other.

There is a saying I heard once -- not sure if this is right -- but something about people come into your life for a season, a reason or a ??? (Can't remember the rest). Maybe Lisa was in your life for a purpose. Her actions (as hurtful as they may appear) have started you on a voyage of discovery about yourself and your life.

Sending you many hugs as you begin this process. Be kind and patient with yourself. You're okay. You're fine. Hundreds of cats, can't be wrong! :p You know how picky they are. :D

Quote:

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Originally posted by kuhio98
You're okay. You're fine. Hundreds of cats, can't be wrong! :p You know how picky they are. :D

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:D I LOVE it!!!

oh - the essay is by Brian A. "Drew" Chalker and is called "A Reason A Season and A Lifetime"

Quote:

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Originally posted by jenluckenbach
Thanks everyone. Just so you know, I AM still reading all the posts. They mean a whole lot.

Since my councelling sessions are going to be once every other week, and the first session was just a chance for her to find out about me, I can't really say if it is helping yet or not.

I have been feeling better (no crying, etc.) but darn it, I simply cannot stop wondering (this is one of my biggest problems). I want to move past the hurt, but without knowing WHY it takes a very long time.

{{{{HUGS}}}}

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Hey, Jen ... would a new siggy help? If so, e-mail me some pics!

Love ya,
Kim;)

Jen, I was sitting reading my Woman's World and came across these inspirations and immediately thought about you.
I would like to share them
with you.

A MOMENT FOR YOU.

Release yourself from the need to be perfect. Love doesn't demand perfection. Success doesn't require it. Luck doesn't look for it. Special moments don't need it. Happiness unfolds without it. And whenever you worry that a gathering won't be special if it's not perfect, remember that any occasion is special if YOU ARE a part of it. YOU bring your best to everything you do and every life you touch. That's better than perfect. That's real.

You have the stuff true heroes are made of. Me? you're probably thinking. Not me! But yes, YOU! Because true heroes don't always save lives, they touch them and inspire them. So what makes you qualify? You face challenges, You're no quitter. You do the right thing, even though it's often easier not to. You lend your strength to those who have none, You approcach life with hope. And you'd do absolutely anthing for a friend, and in a crisis, you'd count a stranger as a friend, too.
THANK GOODNESS FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU!

Hang in there Jen, I know you can do it.
Love and (((((HUGS))))

You are to good of a person to let anyone depress you like this.I use to let people depress me but people are people and we need to love ourselves more than anyone else.I believe that is the ticket to happiness.So forget about your friend and concentrate on how good you are and things will be much better.I am here for you if you need me too.Take good care.Carla

Another thing that I want to share with you that I received in an e-mail the other day.

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally,or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are!
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring
the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it!
It is real!
But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

(((((HUGS)))))

Those were wonderful things to send Jen, I sure hope they helped you Jen, very inspirational thoughts, How are you today Jen? more hugs and positive thoughts are being sent your way.

I hope your heavy heart heals soon, and you will gradually begin to see clearer and understand how important you are to everyone here on PT, and that YOU really matter to us, Take care Jen.:)

Sorry I'm late Jen. I'm sending more hugs and hope you'll keep feeling better! :) Talking about your problems and how it hurts, will help a lot - at least that's my experience. Please don't be too hard on yourself - you're a fine person and very loved! :)

Positive vibes coming your way.

Jen,I hope that we can convince you,on how much love,there is on Pet talk,for you,and when JJJ3,offers,to share his Whiska Temptations,if that isnt love,I dont know what love is! Your Friend Gary,and The Found Cats,Strays and Pet Angels!

Here I am with a spare Hug and thought perhaps you could use it.

Hope things are looking brighter in your neck of the woods.

I have been, shall I say......stable. No serious depression, but no real pleasurable days though, either. I can't understand why I am dwelling on this THING! GGRRRRR. it actually makes me mad to think how much this is affecting me.
I tried (as a first step to liking myself) to come up with a list of my good traits.......but I could only come up with 2 :( Guess it is time to read back over all your comments and take notes ;)

Let's see ...

Loving

Dependable

Thoughtful

Determined (I do believe if you thought a cat was being abused, you'd storm the abuser's home and not take NO for an answer...)

Funny

Sweet

Generous

Creative

Friendly

Honest

Okay, it's only ten, but that's just what I've known you to exhibit here online. Maybe some of the others can chime in, too.

for starters...

Pretty

Caring

Lovable

A wealth of knowledge when it comes to caring for kitties

An excellent Meowmie and Foster Meowmie

Giving (of your time and love)

And I think wise!

Need I really post thesre traits!? You should know these:
Funny
Lively
Thoughtful
Caring
Generous
Loving
Giving
Open
Honest
True
Devoted


and most of all: you raised my baby boy!
I'll have to come up with more adjectives. I can come up with sentences of words, but I want to give you little ctach phrase words for you to easily remeber! :D

One thing you're not: Patient! LOL but you already knew that!!! :D

I would like to also add:

A wonderful person.

Gentle soul

Responsible

Great sense of humor

Friendly

Kindhearted

Selfless

An honest and tender soul

(((((HUGS))))) Jen.

Many hugs, and shoulder to cry on (my shoulders are very big) and kitty licks and purrs from Bastet.

Suffering as I do from bipolar - the most important lesson parted on me was - its ok to feel the way you do. Just don't beat yourself up over it because you will move on. This is just a hiccup on your journey.

You have much love in your life and many people care for your health and wellbeing. Change can be scary but sometimes in the long run a very good thing to happen.

You will be ok - I know it doesn't seem like that now but you are a very strong person.

HUGS

Peta

Quote:

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Originally posted by jenluckenbach
I have been, shall I say......stable. No serious depression, but no real pleasurable days though, either. I can't understand why I am dwelling on this THING! GGRRRRR. it actually makes me mad to think how much this is affecting me.
I tried (as a first step to liking myself) to come up with a list of my good traits.......but I could only come up with 2 :( Guess it is time to read back over all your comments and take notes ;)

---

You could only come up with 2 things you liked about yourself?Now come on.Think about you..and ONLY you.OK??
I can come up with so many things I like about ME and NOONE likes me.LOL..Just wanted to make you laugh.But seriously..Just think of you..no other people..then you'll come up with lots of things that you love about yourself.Don't let others make you think differently.That can damage your spirit.People do that to other people sometimes to make themselves feel better .

Quote:

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Originally posted by catfamily
Just think of you..no other people..then you'll come up with lots of things that you love about yourself.Don't let others make you think differently.That can damage your spirit.People do that to other people sometimes to make themselves feel better .

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I agree. As long as YOU know you're a good person and you believe in yourself, it makes no difference what others think of you. Only YOU can control how others control you and your feelings. You can let them totally devastate you or you can blow them off and say that they are not even worth your time to dwell on them. THEY are the one with the problem and YOU need to not worry about THEIR problem. All you need to do is worry about YOU.

Don't know if I really said that right, but I hope you get what I'm trying to say. I also saw an article in a magazine that made me think of you, Jen, and what you're going through. I will try and see if I can find it online. Otherwise I'll see what I can do to get it to you somehow.

Chin up, girl. You're a wonderful, caring person and don't EVER let anybody EVER tell you any less. :)

I want to add to the list Jen. YOU ARE

Helpful, ( I alway remember it was YOU who helped me out when I first joined PT, I was having difficulty with something or another)

Reponsible, there is no denying that now is there Jen?

Open and Honest, no need to explain this one.

YOU are all the things above and all the things everyone else has mentioned, I admire your rescue work, the love you bestow on others and the kitties, the fact that when you believe in something , you stick by your beliefs, all in all Jen you are DA BOMB girl.!!!!!:) CHEER UP and keep thinking positive thoughts, you never know they might actually sink in lol.;)

I did not mean this to become a compliment (ME) thread. hee hee. But thanks a million! I hope someday I can repay each and every one of you for your kindness and support.


{{{{{HUGS}}}}}