*Edited out.*
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*Edited out.*
I really don't appreciate my situation with Dusk being brought into this thread. It was a VERY different situation, and it is something that continuously breaks my heart, even though I hear him when I talk to my grandmother and hear him singing to her.
You stated you didn't wish to single people out, then linked their threads, singling them out.
Edit: I think I reacted a bit strongly, it is just an extremely painful situation for me, and definitely not something I am "over" and I wonder at times if I ever will be.
I think those bird situations were totally different and don't really need to be brought up into this thread.
I missed her post, but if indeed Jessica's bird post was brought up it was completely different than this, again, IMHO.
Excuse me, but how is it different? All of these situations involved rehoming a pet to provide a better life for it. Am I missing something? If so, please let me know ... but I think I'm being pretty complete here.
There is no difference between a dog, a cat, a bird, a horse, a mouse -- whatever the pet may be. So please, don't get all touchy about this simply because it involves a dog. It seems as if it is at that point, and it really does not need to be. It's not fair to start pointing fingers and deciding that you know the reason behind all of this. Why? Because you don't. Unless someone can stand up and tell me they can read Cayter's mind, then lay off it and offer some compassion and sympathy to her. This is a hard time for her ... she's given something up that she adores and considers a part of her family.
She made the decision she felt was right -- whether you agree with it or not is not the issue here. At this point, the issue is that feelings are being hurt and unneccessary words and comments are being posted. The last thing Cayter needs right now is to be made to feel three times smaller by rude, thoughtless comments that would be better left unsaid.
I know I've already said this ... but as this thread drags on and is made into something more than it needs to be, I just continued to get more and more appalled. :(
It has nothing to do with what kind of animal it is. :rolleyes:
Quote:
but the thing that got me most upset is the fact that she put her activities before her dog.
You are missing plenty if you are referring to me. I should NOT have to explain my situation here. I stated earlier how I felt with regards to Oz. Every situation is different, and though it is hard for me to understand or relate to Cayter and Ozzy's situation, and I believe mistakes were made, I would not take it so far as to judge Cayter as a person.Quote:
Originally posted by Moose
Excuse me, but how is it different? All of these situations involved rehoming a pet to provide a better life for it. Am I missing something? If so, please let me know ... but I think I'm being pretty complete here.
That said, though I believe Dusk is in an overall better situation since his bonded mate died, the deciding factor was that my grandma had just lost her husband, and she needed my Dusk. I would rather this be dropped now, and am apalled and deeply upset that this has been brought here.
--deleted--
--deleted--
Quote:
Originally posted by Moose
it's hard to believe so many of you are adults here.
It's very ironic you say such a thing. Brooke, you're the one who's dragging it farther and farther... and changing it into a completey different topic.
I do believe that some were harsh here, I don't think Jessica or myself were... so please do not take it out on us, or bring something that is completely irrelavant (Jessica's situation), in my opinion, into it.
and Please save the crying about smilies for somewhere else.
--deleted--
No, I do believe you're the one whom has issues with me, although issues between us have nothing to do with this thread, just like Jessica's situation doesn't either.
Self-centered... no, not quite. If I was such I wouldn't be sticking up for Jessica or apologizing for what this turned into because of you.
Done? Good.
Now I think you owe an apology to Jessica, as well.
Maybe the people we should be ill at is Cayters parents. They should have known whether she could deal with having a pet such as Ozzy. And once the decision was made and they gave their permission for her to have Ozzy, then they should have stepped in then.
I am a parent, and if I thought my children was not going to take care of their pets, then I would not let them have a pet at all to call their own. If they said, yes I am up to taking care of this pet, and keep it, then okay child of mine, you may have a pet. But if they decided that there was thing more important than that pet, then I stepped in, and said no, I am sorry but you made a commitment to this pet, and this pet come first, afterall he or she was here first! My oldest daughter was so good with her pets, she was taught to take responsibility for her pets, even when she got her first boyfriend, that boy did not want her to have her pets, didn't want her to touch the pet, well that boyfriend was out the door, and kicked to the curb where he belonged.
Her boyfriend that she married eventually, took her pets as his own, when she moved out, her pets went with her. This was taught to her at an early age.
I see Cayter is only what 13, then her parents should have known better than to let her have a pet if she could not uphold her promise to take care of it. Now Ozzy is going back to a cage, and that is what is such a hurtful thought to me.
No, I won't blame Cayter, I will place the blame on her parents for not putting in her the value of the friendship she had with Ozzy, and like Kay said, putting things before a life.
I hope, Ozzy gets a wonderful home, where he is loved and appreciated.
Willie
--deleted--
Quote:
Originally posted by Moose
Um, excuse me ... as well?? No. I never apologized to you, and I have no reason to apologize to anyone. I've done nothing wrong. If anything, the only apologies anyone owes is to Cayter.
Wth? Where in the heck did I say you apologized to me?
You brought something about Jessica's bird into this, which made her upset and raged. Julie apologized. Is it hard to do so? NO
'As well' indicated that an apology needed to be said to Jessica, as well, not just Cayter.
Please.. I've received PM's apologizing for bringing up my situation, and for the upset it caused me. I am sure I reacted strongly when I should have just never commented at all, and let it go, but it is a very tender subject for me I guess.
Brooke and Julie and Kay have all talked to me privately and I am just wishing and hoping that at least for my part it will be dropped now. I am sorry to have caused/contributed as well to any more conflict.
We can all go back and forth giving our opinions, arguing, but the sad fact is Ozzy is gone and let us all hope he will end up with a great family and there is a happy ending to this sad story.
Like I mentioned before I think Cayter did the right thing, it would have been far more selfish to keep him, and even though it hurts a lot of people who have grown to love Ozzy as well, it is far better for him to be given the attention he deserves and needs.
Cayter will be going through hell right now, that I have no doubt in my mind, however she feels in her heart this is best for Ozzy, and we just have to respect that whether we like it or not.
I am going to post one more time about this issue because I was thinking about it all night. Even in my dreams and it was the first thing I thought about when I woke up. I really dislike it when I allow something on the internet to intrude upon my life like this.
trayi52.....EXACTLY! It is Cayter's parents I am most upset with.
YES. Cayter did the absolute right thing at this time in giving Ozzie back to the breeder. Especially rather than turning him into a shelter. But then that was probably in the contract they signed when they purchased him in the first place. That was probably the first right decision she made in this situation.
Where I am disappointed with the situation was that her parents purchased him for her in the first place. That they didn't teach her how important Ozzie should have been to her. That the opportunity to have a lifetime relationship with this magnificent dog should have been one of the most important things in her life. It is so very sad that this was never taught to her.
I see this more and more with young people these days. They are just given whatever they want without having to work for it. My parents would never have just given me at the age of 13 a dog as expensive as Ozzie must have been. When I say I bought my first horse at the age of 14 I meant exactly that. I BOUGHT HIM. With money I had been saving since the age of FIVE!. I saved every penny of my birthday, holiday etc money. when I was old enough to babysit that went into the bank account also until I had enough. The whole time my father was telling me I couldn't have a horse because he was afraid of them. When I was 14 he realized I wasn't giving up and that I had the MATURITY AND RESPONSIBILTY to be able to take care of a horse properly.
I grew up in a upper middle class area of Northern San Diego Co. A beach community called Encinitas. My parents had the money to buy me the horse but they never wanted to spoil me in that way. They wanted to be sure I VALUED the things and companions I had.
My friends parents for the most part felt the same way. The one who didn't almost killed her horse because she didn't take care of him properly.
I am saddened by this whole situation. But what also saddens me about it is the people saying we are being too harsh on Cayter. That we should all support her and be one big happy PT family. Well family and friends that actually care about you don't sugar coat your mistakes and tell you it is ok and you are a good person anyway no matter who or what you hurt in the process. That is called enabling...not supporting.
I think we have all been supportive in Cayter giving Ozzie back to the breeder. Just many of us also care enough to say that we are disappointed and upset about the whole situation so that Cayter also realizes that one of the natural consequences of her actions is that people lose respect and are disappointed in her. Perhaps that will help her learn from this whole mess.
And it isn't just her activities that Cayter wanted to spend more time on. For me it was the line where
This is what really set me off.Quote:
My parents were out of town last weekend, and we boarded Ozzy at the vet's. Darlin had time to relax, and we all had so much work off of our hands. It was nice. Of course I missed him, but I didn't miss having to spend my relaxation time dealing with him.
And to her parents I still say....SHAME.
Denyce
Thats it, Denyce, Values!!
I think we'll all feel a lot better about this situation if someone could post an update when Ozzy finds a new home and family. I believe you know the breeder, "GoldenRetrLuver"; could you ask about Oz and let us know how he's doing?
Nice to see nothing has changed at PT.
http://pages.prodigy.net/indianahawkeye/newpage32/5.GIF
Denyce you dont have to buy things yourself to value them, I had 2 of my pony/horse bought for me (at different times) 1 when i was 13, and the next when i was 15 both were no less speciel/value to the pony i brought myself (for £19 from meat market).
I dotn think i'm spolied for having these gifts as A: i didnt ask/begg/sulk whatever a spolied person does, i worked damn hard to keep them.
Weather you buy somthing or someone else does it should be equal value/speciel to you.
I think that Foam did the absolate best for ozzy, and yes i too would have done more to keep a dog, but MAYbe she even if she gave 1/2 things up there still wouldnt be time, her parents yes may have been wrong in getting him, could have devoted more time to him etc but things change, people change everybody is different.
I notice Fom hasnt posted in a while MAYBE its because all the bad things being said about her and her parents (which to me is the meanest thing to do, i hateit if/when anyone dis's my parents!!!)
Foam came here as a devoted pet owner/animal lover, and she still is, so try and be kind to her like when she had ozzy.
some of us have had to give up animals before and might have to again but we still care for them.
Ky
PS lighten up
You are right. You don't have to purchase them yourself. My POINT was that I worked hard for what I had and therefore it had great value to me. The same for your ponies I am sure.
No. I am not going to lighten up about this situation. Just this morning I was browsing the websites of the local kill shelters to see if there are any animals that I can contact different breed rescues about. There at the Central Pennsylvania Humane Society is a five year old beautiful little dilute calico. Reason for being given up???? Let me quote..."Given up because her owner had no time for her". Her name is Buttons. I am sure at one time she was loved and cared for. But hey you know.......people change...life changes...what can you do right?????? There are thousands of such animals in kill shelters in the US right this very moment...all given up for the same reason.....Given up because her owner had no time for her/him. For those of us that deal with the multitudes of discarded and unwanted animals this touches very dear to heart.
The only difference from all the information we have between the owner of that cat and Cayter is that she purchased Ozzie at a breeder and therefore was able to return him to the breeder rather than a shelter. So hopefully his next home will be his forever home and he won't be sitting on death row with the tag...Given up because owner had no time for him.
I know people are going to think I am slamming Cayter again. And I am sorry for that. It is not my intention because I truely think in her situation this was the best she could do. She was lucky that she had this option for Ozzie. Ozzie is lucky she had this option.
I just despair and become very upset with someone who tells me to "lighten up" with this type of situation. This is a forum for people who love pets and for them to share stories, to learn about others, health issues, training issues etc. But it is also a place for rescuing. For people who have a common goal to saving as many animals as they can. For those of us to come to a place where people will understand how we can go to bed at night sobbing because of the sad eyes of a pet that is being euthanized because they were.....Given up because her owner had no time for her. To be told to "lighten up" hurts like you wouldn't believe. I am just trying to reach some people to say....this is sad....so extremely sad...it happens so often all over the place and we as pet guardians and lovers have a responsibilty to try to educate the next generations as to the importance of pet "ownership". Why adopting them into our homes is sooooo very HUGE and why it is such a terrible thing to discard them. Yes there are times this is the only alternative. Just like some mothers have to put their children up for adoption. It happens yes...but it is never something we should just "lighten up" about.
As the famous saying goes.......If you are not part of the solution you are a part of the problem.
Geez I am long winded today. I think i am going to weed my flower garden.
Denyce
Very well said. I do a bit of the rescue stuff as well and I've seen it, also.
Yes you are right but i this particular case she was able to give him back to the breeder.
If i ever had to give up my dog (i will not will not will not EVER) i wouldnt hand her over to a rescue as there is a chance of her getting PTS i would advertise and evaluate the potentional owner myself and find the perfct home (so many people could do this) but its easyier to dump them in a shelter.
I tottally understand the shelter situations.
When i say lighten up i ment Lighten up on Foam as her situation seemed to works out well and for the best.
Ky
Quote:
Originally posted by micki76
Nice to see nothing has changed at PT.
http://pages.prodigy.net/indianahawkeye/newpage32/5.GIF
Ouch Micki That hurts. :(
:(
I have to agree tho, that I have felt from the very beginning that the fault lays with her parents. And that quote that Denyce quoted 'got' me also. But I guess that is just the evilness of PT b/c it is such a hateful place right??!!!
:rolleyes:
OK I have thought about it in the half hour since my last post.
Yes, we are hard on people that rehome their dogs. This isn't the first time emotions have taken over and members have left over the same situation. (not saying that anyone is leaving). Why they are different then other pets, I don't know. We should rejoice in the fact that the people know they are in a better home like the beautiful birds, tho I think it was extremely tacky and hurtful to bring that up. I know someone who is deeply hurt by it.
I do not think that Cayter has taken her decision litely and I do think that is the best thing for Ozzy. He is young and the breeder was great enough to take him back so he will be better then before. He has hope. I think what upsets me is the mentality in general. PT excluded of a 'throw away' society. Look around you on PT I can name people who have gotten their pets, myself included, b/c of that mentality. It angers me yes, to no end. But Still in my heart of hearts I feel that the responsiblity lies on Cayter's parents and what they are teaching her as she grows into adulthood. But I also know she is mourning him, she wouldn't have told us about him leaving if she wasn't.
Blast away, everyone, I won't be on here for another 24 hours.
;) :p
Like I've said, to me it's just the fact that she and her family put activities before a life.
You don't know how sick I get reading on the info sheets of dogs at the shelter (Yes, I know he's going to his breeder) saying they were brought in because their owners didn't have time for them. Especially the young dogs..like Ozzy. Why didn't the family think it thouroughly BEFORE? The people that can so easily get rid of their dogs (no,i'm not saying it was easy for Cayter) are the people who can so easily put their child up for adoption, are the people who can so easily give up their child. How confusing it must be, to be a dog living in a wonderful home, being loved.. and then one day you left that place.
I just don't like the fact of animals or kids being thrown around... and I guess I just don't understand why it has to be done, since I couldn't even start to think about getting rid of my dogs before an activity.
We're such a hateful place, for caring about animals.
I don't know why some even bothered commenting.
and I also don't understand why posts were "--deleted--" instead of actually deleted? :confused:
Quote:
Originally posted by Denyce
I see this more and more with young people these days. They are just given whatever they want without having to work for it. My parents would never have just given me at the age of 13 a dog as expensive as Ozzie must have been. When I say I bought my first horse at the age of 14 I meant exactly that. I BOUGHT HIM. With money I had been saving since the age of FIVE!. I saved every penny of my birthday, holiday etc money. when I was old enough to babysit that went into the bank account also until I had enough. The whole time my father was telling me I couldn't have a horse because he was afraid of them. When I was 14 he realized I wasn't giving up and that I had the MATURITY AND RESPONSIBILTY to be able to take care of a horse properly.
I just wanted to comment...
We got my first dog, Simba, when I was 10 or 11 years old. He was 8 months old at the time, and is now 6 years old. We got him at the SPCA, which I believe at the time they were so full they were having some sort of deal $15 dollars for dogs. The first day we brought him home, I thought we were going to have to take him back. No, not because I wanted to relax. No, not because I had sports or other things to do. He bit my mom twice. Twice in the first day we had him. I cried and cried with him on our back deck, just thinking as I got the dream of my life, he was going to have to go away. He was extremely aggressive toward new people. He'd growl at my brother and sister if they tried touching him, and my mom would walk the other way because she was afraid of him. We worked with him for months, and for years now. He still isn't completely sure of new people or new dogs, but he's alot better than he used to be. He has his days where he just wants to be left alone, but then there's days when he's completely fine with tons of company.
Then, along came Nala, last year.The 8 week old pup. She pee'd, she tore up things (we had to replace the carpet in 2 rooms because of her), she was a handful and still is. She gets hyper out of nowhere, where she just wants to play play play and won't take no for an answer. She especially likes 1-2oclock in the morning. I think those are her favorite times to run around the house like an insane dog.
I had to work for the both of them. No, I didn't have to pay for them, but I had to prove myself to my parents. I had to show them I was able to take care of a dog. I watched the neighbors dogs, walked them, stopped after school everyday to feed one of them, bathe them. Then before we got Nala, I watched after BluStang24's dog, Honey, alot. she was a puppy, so I figured it'd prove to my father that yes, I could take care of Simba and a puppy... That and i just love honey to death as if she were my own dog.
Almost every cent of the money I do earn, from whatever it may be, goes to buying them toys, treats, or anything else I want to buy them.
I wouldn't trade either of them for a moment of relaxation. To me, relaxing is having them lying with me, playing with them, taking them places. They're like children to me.
Our lawn is a disaster because of them. They wake me up, when i'd rather sleep, because they have to go out. They get baths weekly. They're alot of work, and sometimes stress.. but in my opinion everything pays off when they're laying beside you at night. The laughs, the antics, everything about them makes me smile. My world revolves around them basically.
Just now, my mother asked me if I wanted to go watch a Ski Show. I was thinking " Yeah, sure, i'd love to go... take pictures or something." My first question was, "Are you allowed to bring dogs?" She said no, so I said no. I barely ever go anywhere without them.
Kay, that is what I call devotion! A 16 year old that feels that way? That is indeed a compliment to any other teen!
Willie:)
Quote:
Originally posted by shais_mom
Ouch Micki That hurts. :(
:(
I have to agree tho, that I have felt from the very beginning that the fault lays with her parents. And that quote that Denyce quoted 'got' me also. But I guess that is just the evilness of PT b/c it is such a hateful place right??!!!
:rolleyes:
BTW
I am not calling this a hateful place myself. I just have heard this around the grapevine... I think it is a wonderful place, I wouldn't have spent 4 years of my internet life on it. AND some of my closest and deepest friendships have come from this place, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Kay, that is what I had to do exactly for my dogs. I had to sho w them I was responsible.
As with this Ozzy thing, I think its really bothering everyone that cayter put her activitys before her own dog. and im curious too, what about Darlin?
Everyone, Darlin' is an older dog, not a pup. Darlin' is an adult, stable and demands less time and attention than a young pup especially of a Collie - they are herding dogs, active, bright and energetic.
I am sure Cayter's heart is broken over this.
No one needs to post here about what they think of Cayter's parents - THEY do not read Pet Talk. And, frankly, I think Cayter is being as responsible in this situation as she can be. She tried for months to work it out. She contacted the breeder, and made arrangement there. She did not do any of the awful things that are often done to dogs. I won't go into the the "coulda beens" - because they aren't going to happen.
Do not yell at her, please. You wanna yell? PM me and yell!
But the strength of Pet Talk is that we care. We care about animals. This causes dissention sometimes, but only because we DO care.
And that's a good thing.
Last I recall, I do believe Darlin is only a year. Maybe a few months older? However, no matter of age, still need love and attention (not saying she isn't recieving such, just wondering if it's possible)
Yes but I think the attention needed is different. I think while maybe the attention Darling needs could easily be supplied by a short walk and sitting on her lap while watching tv or working on her school work. Where as Ozzy needed daily runs and more outdoor type of activies. I also think Darlin is more of a family dog and Ozzy was her dog.Quote:
Last I recall, I do believe Darlin is only a year. Maybe a few months older? However, no matter of age, still need love and attention (not saying she isn't recieving such, just wondering if it's possible)
After another day of thinking about this to me it is simple- she thought she wanted a dog and she found out she didn't.It happens every day that's why all these dogs are killed off in shelters every day, because people thought they wanted a dog and they didn't.
As for her going back to the breeder- no matter how good of a breeder or person she is, that's not always a guarantee of a good home or forever home.
I too question the parents role in this???My thoughts and prayers are with Ozzy.
Oy! I've avoided this thread until now because I knew it would turn into this. I am sorry that poor Ozzie has to be rehomed, but I do feel that Foam has his very best interrest at heart. For a while, I had to seriously reconsider having Nicki with me, since she and my husband's dog DID NOT get along. At the time, I was newly married... even though we had introduced them slowly over the months leading up to the wedding, their full-time living together was a disaster. She has scars up and down her face from where Sammie shredded her face not once but twice. After the second time, I was ready to send her to my mom because that was no life for her. At lest at my mom's I knew she would be loved and cared for. She was not in a good, safe place with me, even though she was a part of my soul. Long story short, a day after the second attack, Sammie started limpng then she was paralysed. She died less than a week later. We don't know what happened... cancer? a stroke?
As for me, I felt that I was the selfish one for keeping her after the first attack. I kicked myself for not sending her to my mom's right after the first attack happened. Of course the second attack was far more vicious. I was beside myself with grief over the hurt she was going through. She was bleeding and in pain because I was being a selfish person by insisting she remain in my life. I knew my mom was where she belonged. If Sammie hadn't gotten sick, that's where she would be today. There's no way I would have allowed her to live with a dog that attacked her. Sammie was not a vicious dog... they just were completely jealous of ANY affection I gave the other. I tried to give them both love and affection, but gosh, it was hard divying it out when the other wasn't around to witness it. and it the fights got more and more frequent.
I know Foam's sitation has a different set of circumstances, but I'm sure she feels the same way. I'm sure she knows that he needs something different than anything she can provide. She's being honest with herself and to Ozzie by rehoming him. Why is everyone blasting the poor girl? I know my kids are as busy - if not busier. My one daughter plays for three soccer teams (two are year round) My son runs year round on several teams and my other daughter swims AND plays soccer year round. We know that getting a second dog would be too much, but thats us. Sometimes people want something but forget the amount of work and time invlved. We cannot fault her for wanting to love another thing.
We don't know why Foam does these activites. As for my kids, they do them because they are GOOD. Its basically their ticket to college. My son is a senior in Septemeber and has already had his highschool coaches tell him that the college coaches are ready to offer scholarships. We'll see what they have to offer next week when they are officially allowed to talk to him :) My youngest will be a freshman and she's already seen college scouts at her games. Perhaps Foam is using her music in the same fashion. When you have a talent or gift like that, you need to foster and make it grow first. If she cannot handle the work load of school and other activities, then she is being mature in admitting it.
Anyway, I'm sorry for the long-winded post :o I have kept to myself for a while, mainly because I didn't know what to say, or how to say what I felt.
I agree that that comment was uncalled for. Especially after "leaving" PT months ago and then coming back just to leave that comment. Sorry if we care for the welfare of animals. And, even in real family life, I might point out that things aren't always sunshine and roses. I, too, wonder why the posts weren't just deleted instead of typing "deleted" in them all. And Kay, you are indeed one of the teens here to be admired.Quote:
Originally posted by micki76
Nice to see nothing has changed at PT.
http://pages.prodigy.net/indianahawkeye/newpage32/5.GIF
Because people have still quoted my posts in their own, and many times I'll read through a thread, see a quote, and then try to find the post it was originally in not realizing it had been deleted. What harm is there in that? Good Lord, must we bicker about something as tiny as that? Why even bring it up? Big, freaking deal. Ay yi yi ...Quote:
Originally posted by dukedogsmom
I, too, wonder why the posts weren't just deleted instead of typing "deleted" in them all.
I'm really sorry that you need to do that.. but.. I really hope he'll get new, good homes...He'll be always in your heart! {{{hugs}}}}