....goes a comet. Make a wish Wom, and it will come true" Wom made a wish, and **POOF** Bonny instantly disappeared.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
"Geez it worked" said Wom as............
Red Tractor
Printable View
....goes a comet. Make a wish Wom, and it will come true" Wom made a wish, and **POOF** Bonny instantly disappeared.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
"Geez it worked" said Wom as............
Red Tractor
The Red Tractor came rolling by. The driver waved and wondered if he was interrupting something special between Wom and Bonny. They seemed to be on the same wave length.Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
However he didn't have time to stick around and find out, as he had this entire field to harvest, and then his wife wanted him to . . . . . . .
snow angel
Grace
Help Kokopup cleanup all of the downed trees from his timber cut of last fall.Quote:
The Red Tractor came rolling by. The driver waved and wondered if he was interrupting something special between Wom and Bonny. They seemed to be on the same wave length.
However he didn't have time to stick around and find out, as he had this entire field to harvest, and then his wife wanted him to . . . . . . .
Kokopup had been working all day and you could hardly tell much had been cleared. The one visible clear area was where Kokopup's Mom had made a snow angel during the huge inch of snow we had in January. You could still see the imprint in the leaves. Just then....
Canadian Geese
....Wom arrived with his Inspectors hat on. "What !!!!!" Said Wom. "is THIS all you have moved Bill ? You are a slow as Canadian Geese!!. What HAVE you been doing ???" As Wom walked away disgusted......Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
Forest fire
Wom
...which is the way he seems to be most of the time. I have wondered if maybe he needs to buy better fitting underwear. He just doesn't under stand that cleanup of the downed trees has to be done with caution because burning of the trees if not done correctly can cause a Forest fire .Quote:
....Wom arrived with his Inspectors hat on. "What !!!!!" Said Wom. "is THIS all you have moved Bill ? You are a slow as Canadian Geese!!. What HAVE you been doing ???" As Wom walked away disgusted......
Trying to discount Wom's outward rage, Kokopup continued ......
Redneck Aussy ostrich rancher
to insturct the Redneck Aussy Otsrich Rancher about Hanes down under wedgie free underwear. Wom just ......Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
Red bellied woodpecker
Trying to discount Wom's outward rage, Kokopup continued to to instruct the Redneck Aussy Ostrich Rancher about Hanes down under wedgie-free underwear. Wom just kept walking.
Suddenly Kokopup pointed up into a nearby tree and whispered, "Look! A red-bellied woodpecker!"
Wom stopped, turned around and...
unforgettable
,with real emotion, said Woody, where have you been hiding. I have looked every where for you since forgetting to close your cage. You have been my most unforgettable catch since ....Quote:
Suddenly Kokopup pointed up into a nearby tree and whispered, "Look! A red-bellied woodpecker!"
Wom stopped, turned around and...
army life
.......the time I caught that grenade thrown at me during my army life. Mind you, I couldn't eat it, so I threw it back....AH...SO SOLLY I said at the time. But I digress. Get back into your pen this instant, you half baked American feathered turkey lookalike." Wom said to the crazy woodpecker. "How many times must I...............Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
Jailbait
How many times must I have forgotten to close that jailbait birds cage door? I should climb into that cage & make that bird.......
worms
Bonnyeat wood instead of just pecking at it. The stupid bird should get worms just like any self respecting bird would....Quote:
How many times must I have forgotten to close that jailbait birds cage door? I should climb into that cage & make that bird.......
pet store
How many times must I have forgotten to close that jailbait birds cage door? I should climb into that cage & make that bird eat wood instead of just pecking at it. The stupid bird should get worms just like any self respecting bird would....
...But instead, he just flits from yard to yard, enjoying the bird seed the neighbors purchase at the pet store. He's so fortunate."
Sunflower seeds
cassiesmom
.Speaking of purchased seed for home feeders. If you have Cockatiel frequenting your feeder it is best to not have Sunflower seeds. Wom being the cheap-scape that he is puts outQuote:
.But instead, he just flits from yard to yard, enjoying the bird seed the neighbors purchase at the pet store. He's so fortunate."
Sunflower seeds hulls only.....
dead battery
along with a dead battery,beer bottles, & bean cans in his front yard. The cops have had to come many times because the neighbors .....Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
parties :eek:
.......don't like the noise generated by Woms Beer and Seed parties. Wom decides to have his next party in Alabama so that his friends can enjoy a quick snort at Bills Methane Still, and have wonderful southern treats like fried chicken and watermelon. Wom asks Bill........Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
Wom
....if he was a mind reader since he was not going to leave a word to continue the puzzle with. Bill replied, yes Wom, I can read minds , I already have your corn squeezing from the still. We can run by the Colonel Sanders for the chicken and we'll be....Quote:
......don't like the noise generated by Woms Beer and Seed parties. Wom decides to have his next party in Alabama so that his friends can enjoy a quick snort at Bills Methane Still, and have wonderful southern treats like fried chicken and watermelon. Wom asks Bill........
kangaroo jerky
....dining on McNuggets when we could be having kangaroo jerky. Just then, Bonny arrived and screamed "Don't eat the mushrooms. They are poisonous and they........"Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
Yellow Mellow
are free so if you survive eating the first batch you can have some more so wash them down with some Yellow Mellow Moon Shine &Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
digging
& Iowan Hay Licquor" "Geez, I'll be digging my own grave at this rate, eating a drinking all of this weird American stuff. I think we should have some special Aussie food for a change, I think we'll have...."Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
Amish
to go on an Amish tour & eat lots of pies,cookies, candy, & freshly baked bread just plastered with home made butter & jelly with a huge glass of fresh cold milk to wash it down. But now ......Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
belt
.....Bonny had eaten so much that her belt wouldn't fit any more. So she went and got a burlap sack and put it on. Just then Sana arrived and said "Gee Wom, that's a fat little sack of potatoes you have there". Wom replied "................Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
French Fries
Yup! & she wants Hans Yoder to take us all for a buggy ride to Mc Donalds so she can wolf down a bunch of those salty greasy french fries. I am not just up to that my belly .....Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
barf
Bonny
..is so full I feel like I might Barf.Quote:
Yup! & she wants Hans Yoder to take us all for a buggy ride to Mc Donalds so she can wolf down a bunch of those salty greasy french fries. I am not just up to that my belly .....
Maybe if I had a good old Foster's it might settle my stomach then.....
donkey
I'll feel ok again. "Naw" Wom said "Fosters tastes like donkey urine. Here, try a good Aussie beer, Cascade from Tasmania" Just then, Bill arrives with a pack of Budweiser. "Aw comeon Bill, nobody wants your cans of tasteless fizzy water." Said Wom. "Go back to that still you have hidden in your wood stand, and make us some real booze". "But" said Bill "I can't stand the sound of that yelping dog" "Well" said Wom "It's either that or having to listen to Bonny all day." Bill thinks deeply and..........Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
Banana
Wom
makes a decision that may not go well with anyone. The one thing he dislikes most, other that referring to his self in the third person, is having to carry those 60 lb bags of sugar back to the still. Koko loves to be a work dog, especially if it means pulling something. Her favorite treats is dried banana chips that they sell at Walgreen's. After loading the wagon with Sugar, Bill mushes Koko, wagon in tow, and they head to the...Quote:
I'll feel ok again. "Naw" Wom said "Fosters tastes like donkey urine. Here, try a good Aussie beer, Cascade from Tasmania" Just then, Bill arrives with a pack of Budweiser. "Aw comeon Bill, nobody wants your cans of tasteless fizzy water." Said Wom. "Go back to that still you have hidden in your wood stand, and make us some real booze". "But" said Bill "I can't stand the sound of that yelping dog" "Well" said Wom "It's either that or having to listen to Bonny all day." Bill thinks deeply and..........
sour mash
Still where the smell of sour mash is in the air. Things are going along fine until Koko sees a rabbit & takes off with the wagon load of sugar. Bill of course is lagging behind (poor old devil) yelling at Koko to stop while sugar is flying ....Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
barking
in the air because the bag wasn't sealed. On the hand Sana's doggy is barking and Sana is feeling unhappy, but, isn't really thinking or showing it....!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
match
Sana's dog Sparky is barking for a reason he is no match to the big brown bear at the Still gulping down the the sour mash & slurping the moonshine out of the Still. Then along comes Wombat like Davy Crack-up Crockett ...Quote:
Originally Posted by sana
wrestling
....complete with kangarooskin hat. Approaching the bear, Wombat speaks in a loud clear voice..." Ok cobber, enuf is enuf. Bugger off from Bills still or I'll bloody have you. Better still, you see that shiela over there with the oil monkeys coveralls and floral hat on ??? Well that's Bonny, and she'll have you out for a wrestling barney. Get ready for the hide'n of your life mate, they don't casll her the Powerpuff Broad for nothun." Bonny flexs her muscle (yes, just one), and.......Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
Dust
takes off running in her platform high heels behind Bill & Koko leaving the bear in the dust. Chicken as he is Mr. Wombat gets left at the StillQuote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
bear bait
Bonny
where he has been overtaken by the Mash fumes. About the time Wom turns to run it is already to late. It looks like Wom's next assignment will be impersonating bear bait. Just then out of no where comes...Quote:
takes off running in her platform high heels behind Bill & Koko leaving the bear in the dust. Chicken as he is Mr. Wombat gets left at the Still
police whistle
the Keystone cops blowing their police whistle. They quickly stun the bear & cuff him. Wombat is unharmed & offers the cops some Moonshine out of gratitude which ...Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
down under blunder
.......goes down very well thankyou very much. But too late Wom realises his mistake, too late did he realise that the Keystone Cops were really Iowan Walmart people disguised as humans. "THAT was the biggest down under blunder I have EVER made, and not only was it not made down under, it was made up over". Said Wom.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
All of a sudden, there was a rustling sound coming from within the tree stand and...............
Suzi Wong
Suzi Wong a reporter from the Southern Enquirer stepped out of the bush. She was reporting on life in Bills Woodlot and wanted to interview .....Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
someone or anyone
Suzi Wong a reporter from the Southern Enquirer stepped out of the bush. She was reporting on life in Bills Woodlot and wanted to interview .....
the Wompy guy that was almost bear bait. Having no luck getting any one to respond to her inquiry for the Enquirer. In despair she jumped up on a pine stump and started shouting " someone or anyone" I need a story true or not.
I'll pay....
Barbara Walters
ANYTHING to have my own show, Good Morning Alabama, and displace the makeup queen Barbara Walters. ANYTHING" She said as she batted her eyelids (do Chinese people have eyelids ?? Not sure....anyway) she batted her eyelids at the gathering throng of Bills neighbours and the local football team. "ANYTHING ????" Said all of the Alabaman men (including Bill) in unison.Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
"Yes, anything" said Suzi with a wink. Not to be outdone, Bonny arrives on a pair of stilts. Standing now at least an inch above the shortest Alabaman man, she shouts out..............
Chiclets
"Ok you queen Barbara wantabe this Chiclets won't take this treatment from any of you amazons. It is as clear as a can ofQuote:
ANYTHING to have my own show, Good Morning Alabama, and displace the makeup queen Barbara Walters. ANYTHING" She said as she batted her eyelids (do Chinese people have eyelids ?? Not sure....anyway) she batted her eyelids at the gathering throng of Bills neighbours and the local football team. "ANYTHING ????" Said all of the Alabaman men (including Bill) in unison.
"Yes, anything" said Suzi with a wink. Not to be outdone, Bonny arrives on a pair of stilts. Standing now at least an inch above the shortest Alabaman man, she shouts out..............
corn to me that...
Riverboat
you can take the next Riverboat headed out of town pronto. I'll sick Sana's dog Sparky on you all ....Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
skedaddle
....and he can bite your leg off for all I care. Now skedaddle el pronto you brazen hussy."Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
All of a sudden Suzy metamorphosed into a butterfly and flew away. The gathering crowd all looked on in awe, and all said in unison "Awwwwwwwe"
Bonny takes off her hat and slaps the dust off her dungarees, and says "That'll teach her to mess with a grain fed mid-western gal." The angry crowd gathers around Bonny, angry because they have missed the opportunity of having a new Good Morning Alabama hostess. "We want Suzi, we want Suzi." Chant the angry crowd. Just then, a red tractor..........
$5.00 a gallon
with Bill at the wheel rolled up amid the chanting mob. I don't care anything about this Good Morning Alabama thing, we have a good enough hostess now.Quote:
....and he can bite your leg off for all I care. Now skedaddle el pronto you brazen hussy."
All of a sudden Suzy metamorphosed into a butterfly and flew away. The gathering crowd all looked on in awe, and all said in unison "Awwwwwwwe"
Bonny takes off her hat and slaps the dust off her dungarees, and says "That'll teach her to mess with a grain fed mid-western gal." The angry crowd gathers around Bonny, angry because they have missed the opportunity of having a new Good Morning Alabama hostess. "We want Suzi, we want Suzi." Chant the angry crowd. Just then, a red tractor..........
I do have some excellent Sour Mash Whiskey here for a mere $5.00 a gallon . If you're not into the drink then it will do fine for running you farm machinery or getting bird poo off of your....
lavender dress