I think adoption should be considered. She's obviously not ready to be a parent; nor is the father. Do what's best for the baby. Many couples can't conceive that want to.
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I think adoption should be considered. She's obviously not ready to be a parent; nor is the father. Do what's best for the baby. Many couples can't conceive that want to.
To clarify a pregnancy is really 10 months, so Kims grandbaby is due in nearly 3 months...so its really more like 6 months in the terms that people are use to...but still....
I would think if she was intimate with her boyfriend he would have noticed the hard belly...she must not have put much weight on.
Now back to her, poor girl, she is not the first teenager to have sex for sure but she is in a low percentage of those girls to become a teen mother. I think this will actually help the family, it may be hard on you all but it seems at least how you and hubby are handling it that this may bring everyone together.
I hope the boyfriend when he gets over the shock is nicer about it, he may not be the best dad but this baby has a right to know his or her father and hopefully won't feel abandanded like she had to.
same here!Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzcat
I think I about fell off my chair!
Prayers and thoughts on the way for you my friend. And your step daughter.
wowza
How is grandpa taking this all? Does he now realize you know what your talking about due to the fact you were a teen girl at one time. II'm getting the feeling BF is going to pull you cheated on me and it's not mine routine on your daughter grab a blood test as soome as possible. If your going to try to get him to help support the baby.
Kim, Wow!:eek: I can't believe that she's this far along. I'm glad that it's only one baby because you'll have your hands full as it is. Lots of prayers and positive thoughts are being sent her way. I hope that everything goes well and that she has a healthy baby.
7 months????? OMG - none of you will have much chance to get your heads around this before baby arrives!!
Even my hardened heart has soften towards your step-daughter - you all have my sincerest good wishes for a strong and healthy addition to your family and the best of luck for the future
So Kim, when can we go BABY shopping??????
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pam
OMG 7 MONTHS!! :eek: Pam is right... :D She is due the day before me.. But I am OBVIOUSLY pregnant... and the baby flips and turns all the time..
I really feel like this is going to make you guys closer. And thank GOD it isn't twins.... This thread has been an amazing turn of events in every way. She will be in my prayers. Too bad you couldn't find out what the baby is... then you can go SHOPPING!!! :D
Couldn't have said it better... , I don't understand this either..; !Quote:
Originally Posted by popcornbird
I keep wondering why she didn' take any "precautions" :confused:
To late to feel sorry now. The baby is on it's way, so better get ready hey. I hope everything goes smoothly for her!!
Lut, denial is a strange thing. We had a case here in the US a couple of years ago where a teenage girl was pregnant and went to her prom. She left her date for a few minutes and went to the bathroom and had her baby in the toilet and returned to her date as if nothing had happened. :eek: :eek: The mind is a strange thing for sure....
Wow! Kim just heard the news! This is wonderful! You, Corinna, and me are all having grandbabies. I say we are all very lucky women.
We are all going to do just fine as grandmommys. Kim, you will love it!
Congratulations to you and your hubby on becoming grandparents!!
Willie :)
Guys, we keep asking her HOW she didn't know, especially when it started to look pretty obvious this past week that she's pregnant. I have the feeling in the next few days she'll really start to "pop". I'm going to ask her if we can take a photo to save in her scrapbook just how she looked when she realized she was pregnant... which isn't all that much! We thought she might be around 3-4 months along because it really is just a puffy belly right now. I swear to you, when my family saw her this past Sunday, they had no clue. She was showing enough that we noticed but nobody else did. And it wasn't like she sat on the couch - she was on the floor playing with their toddlers and chasing after them, etc.
She was in some serious denial. I have the feeling if we didn't confront her, she'd have gone about thinking she just got fat and then woke us up on June 27th saying she's got appendicitis or something. I'm telling you that a part of her doubted it even after we heard a heart beat. You should have seen her face when the ultrasound tech showed the first glimpse of the baby on the screen.
As for adoption, the doctor brought it up, she considered it for a few hours until she saw the baby in the ultrasound. I told her that she needs to decide what SHE wants and that we'd be behind her 100% whichever way she chose. She chose to keep the baby (which thrilled hubby to no end.... oh by the way, hubby is as excited as I am now that we're over the initial shock) Believe me, this baby will never want for love and attention. Just because its a complete surprise and to a teen mother does not mean he's (or she's) unwanted.
Even though this situation is less than ideal, with the kind of love and support you and your hubby are offering, your step-daughter as well as your grandchild can have a happy and fulfilling life. This may not be what she wanted for this time in her life, but with your guidance and help, she has a good chance of seeing her life unfold in a positive way. Kudos to you and hubby for being willing to help her regardless of the poor choices she may have made.Quote:
Originally Posted by catnapper
Wow Kim I just have to say that you are an amazing stepmom. Your step daughter is so lucky to have you. With all of that love and support, that's one lucky baby.
I know of a girl who didn't know she was pregnant until she went into labor. She was probably in some serious denial, but she did have her period the whole time, so I know it's possible. (((hugs))) to you and your family.
Quote:
Originally Posted by catnapper
Now, THAT is what I am talking about folks!!! Major LES! ;)
I'm not a Mom or Grandmom....but I just wanted to offer my wishes for a healthy little baby in 2 months! :D
You are gonna be the youngest Grammy on the block! ;) Congratulations, Grandma!
I've been following these threads Kim and I have to say I'm the one in shock this morning! When I seen your siggy that said 13 weeks till the baby I thought "woah, what did I miss?" I would have never thought she was that far along by the look of the pictures I seen. It's really a good thing you pushed her into having a test.
I'm very happy to hear that you and your husband are being so good about this, not a lot of parents do. Congratulations grandma! A baby is better than a puppy anyway;)
My daughter got pregnant at 17. The way she found out was she had gone with a friend to get the depo shot and they do a pregnancy test first. We didn't find out for several weeks and when we did, she wasn't upset about being pregnant, she was upset about disappointing her daddy. I was really upset about it at first, but that was very shortlived. My husband was just about devastated and suggested abortion right of the bat, but I told him there was no way in hell that she would do that. Friends suggested adoption, but I knew that she wouldn't consider that either, she loved kids. Anyway, after all the initial shock wore off, everyone was excited. The scarest part for us was telling my husbands parents, this would be their first great grandchild and my husband is the youngest of five kids.
THe father of this baby said he wanted to be a part of his life and paid to have a DNA test done to prove it was his. Needless to say, we've not heard from him since Christmas of 04.
She met a really good guy, actually they met right after her 17th birthday, but the boy was 21 and her daddy said NO!!! Then of course she was sneaking around with another 21 year old. Anyway, this new guy came back around when she was 3 months and has been with her ever since. In fact they got married in Oct. 04.
As far as school goes, I don't know how it works where you live, but here the doctor sent a note stating when the last day would be that she could attend school. After the baby was bron, they sent a teacher out to the three days a week until she was able to attend regular classes. She graduated with her class and then landed a good job at State Farm Ins., been there almost two years.
So as bad as the situation may seem, sometimes things do work out. My daughter and son in law started to paperwork for my son in law to adopt my grandson. The law here says that after 6 months of no contact, the biological parent loses his rights and in this case it's been over a year.
So, toes and fingers crosses, if all goes well, by the middle of April, my son in law will be named as his father on the birth certificate. Right now, the father is listed as unknown because she didn't want the real fathers name on it. So, good luck with everything and believe me when that baby gets here, you'll wonder what you ever did without him/her. I keep my grandson 5 days a week/ten hours a day.
Sorry if it seems like I'm babbling, but that's the short version of my story.
I'm going throught the same thing right now my husbands daughter is 14 and pregnant....But there is nothing we can do she was in denial until she realized that she had to grow up over night but what can ya do? you can only raise them the best you can they think they are wise enough with there desicions and they have to live with them....
I want to apologize im glad for you and your New Bundle of joy,Just with me she is 14 that is young and me and my husband will be raising this child she is 14 what would she do? and i forbid her to go on welfare ar anything like that in life i dont believe in "The easy way out" Im sure it will be better in time but what can ya do?she is having the baby next month im terrified for her i really am,I have 2 kids also 4 and 1 so i look at that too they will be growing up together im not in the best of moods about mine right at the moment i just wanted so much more for her
Wow Kim.... I miss one day of work and look what I find!
Truly a rollercoaster as I see she is definitely pregnant, then with twins :eek: and now NOT twins! (I, too, had to pick myself up from the floor when I read twins!)
By the way, as has been alluded to in previous posts, twins do not always skip a generation. I have identical twin sisters, one of my twin sisters has fraternal twin girls. Another sister (not a twin) has identical twin boys and one of those boys and his wife are pregnant with twins!!!!! :eek: That's correct, 4 sets of twins in my immediate family!
Congratulations on many counts Kim! First, being a Grandmother! Second, a new potential bonding situation with your stepdaughter! Third, being a strong person (probably stronger than I could ever be in such a situation!)!!!
I admire you for the strength that you have shown through all of this. I am sending many prayers and positive thoughts for a good meeting tonight (whatever the results may be). And for a happy and healthy new addition to your family.
I'm happy to hear Hubby is excited. Seeing as how he was so protective of his eldest daughter and in a certain amount of denial himself, it's good to see he hasn't turned on her, but then again, he's your Hubby, Kim, so I knew he'd be loving and supportive too. :)
I'm also glad to hear that slow but sure reality is setting in for her. It's too bad the bf didn't take it all better, but I don't think you really expected anymore from him, and unfortunately, this is the wrong time for your daughter to find out the true side of him.
I find it hard to believe that in this day and age the kids and teachers at her school are so cruel! I'm sure that this is partially responsible for all her denial.
Just wanted to add.....a good source for baby stuff here in Chicago is Freecycle. Not sure if they have one in your area, but it's a Yahoo group where everything posted is free. Quite often I see baby clothes, strollers, play pens, etc offered there. Also Craigslist is a good place to find used items of all kinds. Can't say as I've ever done a search for baby items ;) but I'm sure they have lots.
Wonder how all the kitties are going to react to a baby being around? ;) :)
Today's uppydate :)
We bought some paint for the nursery today. I have no idea what the bedding and such will be -- especially since we don't know if its a boy or girl -- but its a pretty robin's egg blue that if its a girl will have pink & purple flowers painted on top, if its a blue, all the trim and such will be painted blue with whatever design we decide on. Hubby is DETERMINED she'll keep the baby in her room with her... I am DETERMINED the baby needs a nursery all their own. So guess who's going to be painintg a nursery while someone else is at work? Once its done, what can he say?
As for knowing whether its a boy or girl? We will not know until it comes screaming into the world. We apparently missed the window by a week or so. The baby is now too big and scrunched up. Right now, the names she's thinking of are some real winners :rolleyes: and I told her to get a little more traditional because everything she's picking out is REALLY trendy and sounds as if a teenager named the baby (which is what she is) but you don't want to do that because he/she is going to have that name for life and she won't always BE a teenager.
oh...we should have a baby pool!!! :D
:confused: What's a baby pool?Quote:
Originally Posted by elizabethann
I think it's when you guess boy or girl.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lobodeb
yep.Quote:
Originally Posted by Christiansmommy
Quote:
Originally Posted by catnapper
Fun! I am in the same process. Jeremy's room is partly painted...Rob will have to do the rest, b/c I get too many Braxton Hicks Contractions and need to rest. HIs room is a baby blue on the bottem half of the walls, and has 2 inch pale yellow stripes painted over the blue...we will do a white chair rail and the top will remain white...our theme is pretty much pale blue, yellow and white w/stars. When it is finished I will post pics. We have a white crib and dresser,the valance is blue and white stars and the curtains are a pale yellow and white stripe. Can't wait for it to be done!!
Can't wait to hear names too!! :)
We painted Hugito's room not knowing he was a boy. You may or may not know that we didn't want to know the gender before he was born, waited about 8 months, then a nurse slipped and told me when I was having an ultrasound. :mad:
His room is a seafoam green on the bottom, sky blue with clouds on top and a Winnie the Pooh border that separates the 2 colors in the middle.
There are many non-gender specific things you can buy anyway, and lots of colors that don't signify gender. And baby won't care if her walls are blue or his walls are pink!
Baby's gonna be a summer baby, and won't need a whole lot of clothes right away anyway, diaper, t-shirt and socks is even too much in some summer weather!
She will quickly learn who her real friends are. How did the appointment at school, and the prenatal appointment go?
Hasn't this all turned into the most exciting thing??? I am STILL so excited I could POP! I just wish the Mom to Be could catch some of our excitement and get on this bandwagon with us.. I bet she is in just such a state of shock and fear..
Kim, have you ((((HUGGED)))) her and told her how thrilled you are? Has her Dad? 13 weeks huh? WOW! Not much time to prepare.
I agree with whoever suggested to look into freecycle in your area. That seems to be a great orginazation and you could hit the big time on there if the time is just right and get a lot of what you need for free.. You can also post "in search of" on there too so get busy! http://freecycle.com/
Ok, at the risk of her killing me here she is. You tell me this kid looks 26 weeks pregnant!
Here she is Sunday at my mom's house.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...g/6months1.jpg
Honestly, in the near-week since then she HAS started showing more. Here's this morning when I told her she HAD to have photographic evidence of what she looked like when she found out. My neighbor told her she wished she did the same thing - but when she was pregnant she felt to self-conscious and now she'd kill to have pregnancy photos. Love my neighbor! :D
Sitting down saying "Oh my God! You are such a DORK!" when I was taking the photo :p
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...g/6months2.jpg
Standing forward, with the comments being downgraded to "I can't believe I'm playing along with this :rolleyes: ".
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...g/6months4.jpg
Downgraded further to "lets get this over with"
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...g/6months3.jpg
I'd like to reiterate that in the past few days she's really started to pop. I would bet by this time next week she'll look every bit her almost-7-months-pregnant.
You'll be an awesome grandma, Kim! :) Your daughter is very pretty. It's easy to see she has the pregnancy glow. :)
My co-worker is 4 months along and she's huge! We feel bad for when she hits the 9 month mark. She probaby won't be able to walk.
Wow she really doesn't look seven months along, at least not to me. Is she starting to get excited at all yet?
At least she's smiling in the last pic. ;)
I think it would be easier to tell if she wasn't wearing the jacket thingy and I think you'd really be able to tell if she just had the t-shirt on and tucked the bottom under the belly....I seem to remember....was it Missy?...who had pictures like that and I think it really emphasizes the belly. Might want to wait until she's a little more used to the idea of being pregnant in the first place to suggest this though. ;)
I'm glad it sounds like she's getting over the shock and is maybe(?) starting to have a little fun - what with the decorating and all? Sounds like you're having a ball now that the shock has worn off. :D
She looks very cute, and I think it's great that you are playing it up now ... she needs to feel a sense of pride in her body and for her precious baby!!!
I still have to wonder how she didn't know something was up .... for those who have had babies ... UMMM, think about the obvious changes that happen above the waist??? :rolleyes: ;) :D
Well, maybe she thought those things happened when you get on the pill. ;)
WOW, so many updates I missed. (darned job :rolleyes: )
I am glad you got her to pose for photos. Later on she might even be a little more willing. :D
When the "room switch" happened, did she get the upstairs room with the extra room next to it (or was that Heather?? I forget). If she did, that would be perfect, nursery right next to mom.
How is she feeling today? (emotionally as well as physically)
Kim,
I am all teary eyed reading this thread. First off lets start with a congrats to the whole family. Second since this was all such a shock maybe your daughter will benifit from some counseling or something to that effect. Since its coming so fast and shes so far along I doubt its still really hit her and we always read horror stories about teenagers being suprised with babies (not saying she'll do anything bad) but her and the father seem to be in a state of shock they may both be able to benifit from it. I also wanted to add I am a new mother at 21 so I wanted to say if she EVER has any questions or anything seeing as how I just went through it all she can feel free to email me at anytime to ask me ANYTHING! I can give you my email by PM if you want. I know there are tons of questions I had when I was preggers and I know sometimes teenagers would rather not ask their parents these types of questions. Last I am a part of a great forum called baby and me it goes through all stages of pregnancy and right up until teen years with support and love. there is even a section for teen mommies only where a whole bunch of teen mommies share questions and concerns here is the website:
http://www.yabbers.com/phpbb/index.p...73b16498309384
Good luck I hope all goes well with your daughter. A great book for her to read would be what to expect when your expecting it was my bible through thte whole nine months. Good luck!!
Another great site is www.pregnancy.org . You may even want to check there yourself, and lurk. They have tons of forums about everything...and you can find the June 2006 birth board to lurk at what everyone else in her same month is going thru right now. I just lurk, am not a member, but it can be helpful just to read posts. They may even have a teen mom section.
Some things you may want to discuss:
I thought of a few things you may want to discuss with her,
Breastfeeding/formula feeding
circumcision vs. not circumsized (if its a boy)
pain relief during labor: ex epidural, pain meds or natural child birth
Make a list of everything she needs for the hospital if you google this you will find a list of items to bring, I'll try to find you one... Ask about how long her stay will be average is 2 days or 4 is ceasection. Make a birth plan I will PM you mine as an example.