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Dear Abby: I'd like to respond to the letter from "Cat Hater in Iowa," whose fiance, "Anthony," had cats that crawled on the countertops and made messes everywhere. I don't hold out much hope for the relationship, but my sympathies are with the cats.
You were right to say "Cat Hater" could solve the problem by cleaning the box and teaching the cats to stay off the countertops, but it is unlikely she will volunteer for the job, and Anthony is too lazy to do it. Please don't tell her to give him an ultimatum. If he chooses her over the cats, what happens to them? Do you have any idea how many cats need good homes? Shelters throughout the
country are overflowing with them. If a home cannot be found within a reasonable period of time, the animal will be euthanized. (I hate the term "put to sleep.")
I know your heart is in the right place, Ann, but please think twice before suggesting that your readers give up a pet.
- - Cat Lover in Byron, Calif.
Dear Cat Lover: I was inundated with mail from animal lovers. Here's more:
From Kingston, Ontario: A cat who does not use the litter box concerns me. It means the box should be cleaned more often, or the cat has developed a health problem and needs to see a vet right away!
Los Angeles: Cats are wonderful, sweet and affectionate. Anthony should get rid of his fiancee and find a woman who appreciates him and his feline companions.
Chicago: Please don't blame the cats. The real problem is that Anthony is a lousy housekeeper.
Seoul, S. Korea: Based on how that man treats his cats, she should leave now. A pet is a member of the family. If Anthony is too irresponsible to take care of his cats, how will he take care of a wife?
Houston: Any woman who would make her fiance choose between her or the cats deserves to be dumped. My boyfriend wasn't thrilled about my cats, but I told him we were a package deal. He now loves my cats, and we've adopted another one.
Buffalo: A pet is a member of the family. I wouldn't give away my sister to a loving family if my fiance didn't like her.
Fredericksburg, Va.: If Anthony puts strips of two-sided tape on the countertops, it will keep the cats off them. The cats won't like getting stuck and will stop jumping on the countertops.
Mantua, N.J.: Pets are not disposable! How would she feel if he demanded she get rid of her kids? If she truly loves the man, she will try to work it out.
Watertown: Relationships require compromise, not ultimatums. Anthony sounds like such a slob, she will be cleaning up after him anyway. How much more work could it possibly be to clean up after the cats as well?
Brewster: Why does she want to marry Anthony? He sounds like a lazy bum. She could do better. I hope she will look around for a replacement.
Leicester, N.C.: She knew Anthony had cats when she met him. I have a wonderful dog. As soon as I start seeing someone, I ask if she likes dogs. If not, the relationship ends right there.
Corona, Calif.: Pets are a responsibility and a commitment. Cat lovers should never date cat haters. Anthony should say goodbye and keep looking.
Denver: When I was badly beaten by my drunken boyfriend, one of my cats attacked the guy and sat by my side until I could call for help. My two dogs did nothing to protect me. I left the jerk and kept the cats.