-
First time I married was 1975. I changed my name then because everybody did. It was not allowed then to keep your name I only could have hyphenated. I didn't want to do that because if you travel a lot and then have these hyphenated names especially if they are German:D which makes it more difficult to spell for everyone.
Then after I divorced I kept that name. I was already working and I didn't want to tell everybody: I've changed my name. No it's not what you think. I didn't marry, I divorced;) I thought I was still the same person, whether I had my dad's name or my first husband's. Plus, the name I have now sounded better.
Then I was living with my now husband for 16 years. When we married we definitely felt nobody will change his name. And that's as it is.:)
-
I think it's a totally personal decision, and it's up to the person. When we were getting married, I struggled a little with the decision. I didn't want to lose who I was, nor my heritage. But I decided to take hubby's name, and my reason was because when we married, it was and still is forever. I wanted to be one with him, one life. And I felt that to do this, I wanted us to have the same last name.
-
I love my husband very much but I have to admit that I'm a 'Stoner'...(so called for Lucy Stone, the first woman in America not to change her name when she married.)
The reason I decided to keep my own name is that someday I want to get my Ph.D. and it has been the Durbins who supported me and put me through school, not the Whitakers so I want to be Dr. Durbin someday.
-
I got married right out of highschool and changed my name. We later had a baby and the marriage didn't work out - of course the baby had my husband's last name. I went back to my maiden name.
Then I got remarried and changed my name again. I then had the same name as all of my stepchildren (who we had custody of) but still had a different last name than my own son.
Now it looks like I'll be getting divorced. If I change my name back to my maiden name again, my son, my stepdaughters, and I will all have different last names! (Of course my stepdaugters will all get married and have different last names than me, anyway).
If I had simply retained my maiden name all along, and also given it to my son, then we would have the same last name.
I don't understand why we give our children our husbands' last names when divorce is so common and the mother usually winds up with the kids.
-
This is an interesting thread.
I have been married twice. Both times I took my husband's name. Never even considered not taking it, actually. And when I divorced after my first marriage, I kept his name because of my daughter. Otherwise, I would have gone back to my maiden name. I never had a middle name, so one benefit of taking on my husbands' last name was that it gave me 3 initials, finally! Ha Ha!!!
When Scott and I got married, I changed my name to his. When his ex-wife remarried last year, she didn't change hers, so she still has Scott's last name! :rolleyes: It all gets very confusing! LOL!!!!
-
Interesting subject!
here in Belgium, women never change their name after getting married. My maiden last name is Lobeau (unusual, even here!). So, on EVERY official paper, I am still addressed at as Lut Lobeau, not Lut Gabriels (Gabriels is Bernard's last name). When we write a letter to some married woman, we usually put both names on the address, which makes it easier for the postman;) !
For those who were on the Christmas-list too, you sure noticed that my name there was Lut Gabriels-Lobeau!
It makes things a lot easier! In other countries it is so difficult to find back a long-lost friend, because she has changed her name. Not here :)
ps. I don't understand why this is necessary when you plan having kids?? They always get the name of the father here, unless the parents are not married. This law is about to change too now; parents will be able to choose which name their kids will have.
-
I dont have a problem one way or the other. chances are high that if I get married I will change my name. I just dont see it as loosing your identity, I dont see it as meaning anything.
-
I would have to agree that having children complicates the matter of names. Just read Stacwese's post if you wondering what I'm talking about. ;)
But since I'm also 43 (well...almost) with no children, and Terry has none, it's not an issue for us.
Gosh, 43, unmarried, no children....good thing I'm not living back in the 1800's! I'd probably be exiled! ;) Oh, especially since I'm living in sin! ;) :rolleyes: :p :D
I think everyone has brought up some very good points and there really is no right or wrong in this matter. It's all just personal preference and individual circumstances.
Debbie, you were such a wild child! ;) Newfam - hee, hee - great name. :D ;) :D
-
I will probably take Dustin's last name. I thought about keeping my last name of Mooring (Mom's maiden name - parents were never married) just to keep the family name going. My grandparent had 4 girls and one boy (poor Uncle Tom - it's no wonder he ran away from the sea of estrogen) and my uncle had two boys that have no want for children. I've used my step-dad's last name on every non-legal thing I could so much that I don't really connect with my last name anymore. *edit* Plus then we can be AC and DC
Maybe I'll trow out my suggestion of naming our first son Louie T. Mooring III just to see his lil fit he throws again :p (i'm so evil)
-
For my entire life, I couldn't wait to get rid of my maiden name - Bowling. I just hated the way it sounded, looked. It took me until AFTER the wedding to realize that I was sad when faced with the prospect of changing my name.
Jaime Bowling was who I was for 26 years. Now all of a sudden, I'm someone new? I felt like the odd-man-out, my parents and brother were still Bowlings... why couldn't I be too?
I did a lot of soulsearching. I realized that the name didn't make me who I was, *I* do. I'm still me, no matter what last name I have. Hyphenating wasn't an option... Bowling-Patterson is WAY too much for an adult to be saddled with, muchless a kid - and I didn't want to have a different last name than my children. So I took a deep breath, sent in everything I needed to and with my new life came a new name.
-
Marriage name changes.
Year 0-1
Honey, sweetie and darling.
years 1-5
Honey and sweetie.
years 5-10
Hon.
years 10-?
You SOB, I told you to take out the &*#$! trash a half hour ago!
Are you gonna sit there and watch &*#$! sports all day long?
-
I plan on taking my future husband's last name and am excited about it. Jessica put it well when she said it is a symbol of "two becoming one". My marriage will be special and I do look forward to that tradition. It doesn't mean I want to be away from my father at all though. I'll still feel just as close to my family as ever. I also don't feel I'll be my husband's property. I'm way too independent and stubborn to ever be anyone's property!
-
My mom kept her married name after the divorce. They were married for 17 years, so by that time, it's the name she knew. Also she had a horrible father and did not want to go back to his name. Does anyone know, can you take your maiden name as a second last middle name? That was something I was thinking about - it would never really be used, but it would still be there.
-
I was excited to take on hubby's name after we got married, and proud too. Even though, the first 3 letters of my maiden name are the same as the first 3 letters of his last name :) So it didn't change too much. I agree too, with what Jessica said. It makes me feel like we are "one" and we are a family that shares everything. JMO.
-
I feel the same way as Jessica. :)
Plus, I'm a Smith so.... *laughs* Of course I'm marrying a 'Miller' and my sister is marrying a 'Jones'. :D
Perhaps if I had a more unique name I'd be more apt to want to keep it... or maybe not if it was hard to pronounce and spell.
