Jason is a year younger than me, but acts 10 years younger than me. :o I think it depends upon the person and how mature they are...I think as long as you have lots in common, who cares about the age difference?
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Jason is a year younger than me, but acts 10 years younger than me. :o I think it depends upon the person and how mature they are...I think as long as you have lots in common, who cares about the age difference?
Yeah, it seems to me like a 35 year old female dating a 29 year old male would work out because by 29, he's experienced life. But 25 dating a 19 year old...he's just out of highschool, he isn't even legal drinking age yet...probably hasn't worked for a living for very long, still getting out of the highschool mentality, etc...Quote:
Originally posted by CalliesMom
Jason is a year younger than me, but acts 10 years younger than me. :o I think it depends upon the person and how mature they are...I think as long as you have lots in common, who cares about the age difference?
I think the early 20's is a big growing period for people. There is alot to go through and be learned during that time. But of course, there are exceptions. I've met 40 year old men that act like 15 year old idiots, and 19 year old men that are mature and stable.
I'm just talking about dating, not a long term relationship or anything serious. I don't want seriousness right now. I have other thing to think about. Like I previously mentioned, I just want to have FUN. And the thing is, EVERY single guy I've met that is my age or older is a complete ass or liar/immature. Most of my friends are young because they actually have something worth while to say, are mature enough to not get me kicked out of a Target etc. I love my younger friends, and I don't really feel my age. I've always felt and acted younger than I actually am.Quote:
Originally posted by Tonya
I don't want to be stereotypical, but in general, I think being that men are much less mature then women. A 19 year old man is much different then a 19 year old women. Being a mother, I wouldn't want to date a 19 year old because of that. I need a man that is mature enough to understand that I am a mother and settled enough to deal with a family if things happen to get serious.
Before Mike, I dated a few guys that were 19-20ish. It'd be fun at first, but it never seemed to work out in the long run. I love to party and have fun, but I still wasn't available at every beckoned call. -I couldn't just take off out of the blue for a weekend, or be out drinking everynight. Things took planning because I had to find childcare and stuff, I had responsibilities. I had difficulties dating until I started dating guys that were a little older and more mature. I still had my fun and partied a bit, but they were understanding that motherhood came first.
My opinion is different then everyone else's and it's not what you want to hear....Sorry...
I was with Dan (30 years old mind you!) for 4 years and it was complete hell. He was by far the most immature guy I've been with. He acted as if he was 4. I want to be with someone I can hang out with, have an intellectual conversation with, someone who listens etc. Most of the guys my age just want to drink constantly! It's all about the stupid Indigo bar. You can't escape it here.
Plus I'm not looking for a father for Dylan. He has one.
i dont see a problem with that at all... a good friend of mine just turned 18 and is dating a 26 year old, they have been together for a year!!!... i think depending on the two ppl and how mature they both are, then it is fine :). irather date an older man then a young boy though ... lol
Personally, I don't pay much attention to age difference- as long as it is reasonable. If a 13 year old was dating a 20 year old, I would not think that was acceptable. I pay more attention to everything but age- personality, sense of humor, intelligence, etc- things that count in a relationship.
I am more attracted to older guys because they are (generally) more mature, kinder, senseable, etc. You will never see me dating a guy from my high school or of high school age, because 99% of them are immature, rude, and only looking for one thing. Of course that is not true of ALL high school guys. My boyfriend is 18 (out of school), he will be 19 in May. When I look at him compared to the guys at my high school- wow, what a difference....
Yeah, I totally see what you are saying, and I understand the hell that you went through with Dan.Quote:
Originally posted by luckies4me
I'm just talking about dating, not a long term relationship or anything serious. I don't want seriousness right now. I have other thing to think about. Like I previously mentioned, I just want to have FUN. And the thing is, EVERY single guy I've met that is my age or older is a complete ass or liar/immature. Most of my friends are young because they actually have something worth while to say, are mature enough to not get me kicked out of a Target etc. I love my younger friends, and I don't really feel my age. I've always felt and acted younger than I actually am.
I was with Dan (30 years old mind you!) for 4 years and it was complete hell. He was by far the most immature guy I've been with. He acted as if he was 4. I want to be with someone I can hang out with, have an intellectual conversation with, someone who listens etc. Most of the guys my age just want to drink constantly! It's all about the stupid Indigo bar. You can't escape it here.
Plus I'm not looking for a father for Dylan. He has one.
I think I am speaking more from my own experiences. I've never been able to detach myself from a guy...just say "This is for fun." My problem is that everytime that I dated a guy just to have fun, I wound up getting serious. So then I'd be hopelessly in love with a loser. I eventually changed my outlook and started dating only "marriage potential" guys just in case. I figured that way if I happen to fall in love, at least they're someone that I can deal with long term.
Honestly, while I'm pretty sure this is not something you'd want to hear, it is something I really feel the need to say.
Cass...you're not just any 'free-of-responsibility' 25 year old. You're a 25 year old woman with a child. You are a mother. You have responsibility...and in all honesty, I believe you should take care of that responsibility above everything. Your innocent, young child, should come before everything at this point. Sure, if you're taking care of your child and doing all you can to be responsible for your child, go and have all the 'fun' you want. It just saddens me that we don't hear about him anymore, and I wonder how or where he is. I can't seem to comprehend how the mother of a toddler can have time for this sort of fun anyway. Dylan is your responsibility. You need to be there for him all the time. You're his mother. He's just a toddler, and at an age when children NEED their mother, more than anyone in the world. Toddlers need their mother...more than their father, more than their siblings, more than their grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Moms come first to such young children, and when you're a mom, you should be responsible about everything in your child's life before thinking about getting involved in relationships JUST for fun and not out of sincerity for the long-run. If it was out of sincerity, I would take it differently...but when its JUST for fun and you have a child that should be your full-time responsibility right now,...well...that just makes me feel something. Just my honest opinion...and I hope you don't take this negatively. It is said only out of concern.
That being said, regarding the issue of age differences, I say it depends. If it were a 25 year old guy with a 19 year old girl, I wouldn't really have a problem with it. When its a 19 year old guy though...I can't see a 19 year old GUY being mature, sincere, respectful, etc. While there are exceptions, I know how guys my age are. They are JERKS....mostly, and usually do not respect women. They usually only want women for their own 'male desires' at that age. That is an age when the hormones of guys are gone crazy. 19 year old girls are more mature. Most 19 year old guys are still, just 'boys'...hormone-crazy boys at that. I would say you should be careful and mature in whatever step you take...while remembering that your child comes before everyone and everything. Age differences of 6 years are usually no big deal, but I personally prefer the girl to be younger (in a 19-25 year old relationship...I see it differently when both are older)...because guys mature later than girls.
I don't want it to seem like I'm attacking you, but PCB just said something that I have been thinking but haven't had the nerve to say. There are a few choices and decisions that I made when Jaden was younger that I truly regret. I am so glad that he was to young to remember and that I realized my responsibilies before it was to late. Cass, I'm saying this out of love not criticism. Be sure that Dylan is your #1 man. If you don't, you will regret it someday.
I completely agree with everything Pops said.
You obviously think I am pretty out of it to have posted this. OF COURSE my son comes first! He has me and his father. He has what he needs. I can have all the fun I want. I am going to do what *I* want to do. It's not like I'm going to be introducing him to Dylan. I am not. I don't introduce anyone to Dylan. I keep that out of our relationship. Age has nothing to do with that issue either. It wouldn't matter if the person I was dating is 29, 40 whatever. But right now in my life I DO NOT want anything serious. Yes, I just want to have fun and why the heck should I deny myself that kind of happiness? I don't want a relationship right now. Nor do I plan on having one for a long time. I don't NEED one, and frankly I don't see how this is any different than hanging out with any person who is a guy/friend.Quote:
Originally posted by popcornbird
Honestly, while I'm pretty sure this is not something you'd want to hear, it is something I really feel the need to say.
Cass...you're not just any 'free-of-responsibility' 25 year old. You're a 25 year old woman with a child. You are a mother. You have responsibility...and in all honesty, I believe you should take care of that responsibility above everything. Your innocent, young child, should come before everything at this point. Sure, if you're taking care of your child and doing all you can to be responsible for your child, go and have all the 'fun' you want. It just saddens me that we don't hear about him anymore, and I wonder how or where he is. I can't seem to comprehend how the mother of a toddler can have time for this sort of fun anyway. Dylan is your responsibility. You need to be there for him all the time. You're his mother. He's just a toddler, and at an age when children NEED their mother, more than anyone in the world. Toddlers need their mother...more than their father, more than their siblings, more than their grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Moms come first to such young children, and when you're a mom, you should be responsible about everything in your child's life before thinking about getting involved in relationships JUST for fun and not out of sincerity for the long-run. If it was out of sincerity, I would take it differently...but when its JUST for fun and you have a child that should be your full-time responsibility right now,...well...that just makes me feel something. Just my honest opinion...and I hope you don't take this negatively. It is said only out of concern.
This isn't about my personal life. It's about a question I had regarding age differences, not my parenting choices. If you wish to talk about that you can PM me. Dylan doesn't live with me right now and that is good for him. He lives with his dad. It's more convenient for him. I am NOT taking him out of his house where he is comfortable. Maybe one day but at this time it's not what is best for him. He needs to be comfortable. And frankly I don't see how anyone who hasn't had a child and left an unstable relationship can have room to talk. You do not know what it is like to be a mother.
Just because I don't post about him anymore doesn't mean he isn't well cared for. I am a very busy person. I have a job, pets to care for, a child to raise. I can't sit here on Pet Talk all day with daily accounts of what goes on in my life. And if you payed attention to my threads you would see I have posted photos of Dylan not too long ago. I do not have my own computer and can only upload photos when I have the chance to use my roomates. Right now I am stuck on a very old computer in the living room lucky enough to be able to post here. I am sorry I do not update on my son, but I don't think I should have to.
Plus I'm very active in another online community now, and I usually update there. I am sharing custody. I do have time for a social life, and even if I had Dylan full time I would make sure I had a social life, because if anyone denyed themselfs that it would drive them crazy. I don't think going out a couple of times a week to see a movie, or hanging out with your best friend on the weekend means I am neglecting my child.
What is this? Of course he is. Dylan comes before ANYTHING, and always will. Now I will not get into this further. This is going off topic. I just asked a simple question in regards to age, not the way I bring up my son.Quote:
Originally posted by Tonya
Be sure that Dylan is your #1 man. If you don't, you will regret it someday.
And just because some 19 year old guys are jerks, thinking of only sex etc this one isn't and honestly, my younger friends are VERY much more mature than any jerkoff guy my age or older. It's a complete turn around. They are much more mature, NOT only thinking about sex, actually doing something with their life instead of drinking their life away etc. Find me an older GOOD man and by golly I'd grab at the chance in a heartbeat. They just don't exist here.
But...if it isn't a relationship, then isn't it just a friend? In that case, why would you even need age difference advice? :pQuote:
Originally posted by luckies4me
I don't want a relationship right now. Nor do I plan on having one for a long time. I don't NEED one, and frankly I don't see how this is any different than hanging out with any person who is a guy/friend.
Gosh darnet you beat me! LOL. I was going to post before you. Heh. Well yes in a way. I guess I am just sick of being alone. I don't want a relationship but I want to be connected with someone. I don't know. It's hard to understand and I can't really explain. Wanted to apologize for snapping at you and Tonya though. I'm sick and a bit "off" today. I guess it would be a relationship. =/ Just please understand that Dylan will always come first in my life, no matter what. I am doing my very best for him right now. But I too want to be happy.Quote:
Originally posted by popcornbird
But...if it isn't a relationship, then isn't it just a friend? In that case, why would you even need age difference advice? :p
Oh and I'll try posting some pics of him soon. I've just been EXTREMELY busy lately!!!
Quote:
Originally posted by luckies4me
Just because I don't post about him anymore doesn't mean he isn't well cared for. I am a very busy person. I have a job, pets to care for, a child to raise. I can't sit here on Pet Talk all day with daily accounts of what goes on in my life.
Plus I'm very active in another online community now, and I usually update there. I am sharing custody. I do have time for a social life, and even if I had Dylan full time I would make sure I had a social life, because if anyone denyed themselfs that it would drive them crazy. I don't think going out a couple of times a week to see a movie, or hanging out with your best friend on the weekend means I am neglecting my child.
WOW. Course, WOW is what I normally think when I read your posts. I have a 4.5 month old. Maybe the newness wears off? I don't know that yet. However, this is how I describe my life:
I have a son, a full time job that takes me away from him too much for my liking, pets that get most everything I have left AFTER Jonah, and a 'online' community that maybe gets 20 minutes a day? Maybe?
A social life? Frankly, the day I delivered Jonah that took such a huge leap backwards. My 'social life' is the workplace. My 'hanging out with my best friend' means I go to work. Going to a movie a couple times a week? Nah. That is time that is better spent with Jonah, or, doing his laundry, or, reading to him, or playing on the floor with him.
Worrying about age differences in men when you just got out of a long term relationship with Dylan's father? YIKES. Your number one man is DYLAN.
Check your priorities before Dylan pays more than he already has. It isn't fair. He wasn't asked to be born.
And, as you soooooooooo politely (NOT) told me and a couple of friends when I posted something that YOU chose to take another way, "too bad, maybe she shouldn't post her personal life on the internet".
Gotcha. As they say, "paybacks are heck".
MOMMY.