Lara...Please don't second guess yourself...
I know how easy it is to slip into that..."I should have done this, I shouldn't have done that, why did I do this, why didn't I do that??" All of us who have made the "decision" have probably gone through this, but please don't beat yourself up over anything that you did for sweet Barney. You did the absolute best you could for him. Think about the shape he was in when you first saw him...and now think about all the love and tender care that you gave him in the nearly three months that you had him. That precious little kitty received more love and kindness from you in those final months than he may ever have had...Who knows what his earlier life was like before he was with you.
The difficulties with the trip to the vet couldn't have been helped. They were circumstances beyond your control. Taking Barney out of the carrier and holding him on your lap was the right and best thing you could do. As long as you were with him, he was as content as he could be in that situation. You did your best, and rest assured that he does know that now. You gave Barney love, kindness, care and compassion...I wish every lost little animal soul was as lucky as Barney was in those last months.
I think your idea to paint a picture of Barney is wonderful. And your reference to Aslan from Narnia is perfect. If you do go ahead with this, please post it. I'm sure we would all like to see it. Another memorial for sweet Barney.
Lara, please don't reproach yourself for anything that you did for Barney. We all here at PT have said before that you (and Scott) were Barney's angels...Those weren't just words. We meant them, and they couldn't be more true...:love:
Judy:)