128 - skuel dayzed & confused

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10-13-2005, 03:44 PM
Tubby & Peanut's Mom

You guuu-uuu---uuys! Terry graduated in 1965 making you all a bunch of youngsters, so stop making me feel like I'm living with a guy who is older than dirt! ;) :rolleyes:

Two cute jokes I got to liven things up around here.

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know
each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom
was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over
and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk
broom!!!"

"IMPOSSIBLE !!" said the groom broom.

Are you ready for this?
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
Brace yourself; this is going to hurt.
>> >
>> >
>> >
Keep going on down.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"

Sounds to me like she's been "sweeping" around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

And number 2:
An Arkansas mountain woman went to the doctor and was told to go home and come back in a couple of days with a specimen.

When she got home, she asked her husband. "What is a specimen?"

He replied, "Danged if I know. Go next door and ask Edith. She's a nurse."

The woman went next door and came back in about twenty minutes with her clothes all torn and with multiple bruises on her face and body.

"What in the tarnation happened?" asked her husband.

"Danged if I know." she replies. "I asked Edith what a specimen was, and she told me to go pee in a bottle. I told her to go fart in a jug and then all hell broke loose."

bada-bump-bump :p
10-13-2005, 03:54 PM
Lady's Human

You've all heard the one about the blonde whose Doctor tells her "Congratulations, Ma'am, you're Pregnant!" The Blonde turns to the doc and asks, Oh my Gosh, is it mine?
10-13-2005, 04:03 PM
momoffuzzyfaces

Quote:

Originally Posted by david p

Connie, you're a young lady compared to me! I graduated high school with the dinosaurs in 1966! I'm the guy 4 days older than dirt.

LOL!
You are the same age as my brother! :D
10-13-2005, 04:31 PM
davidpizzica

Quote:

Originally Posted by momoffuzzyfaces

LOL!
You are the same age as my brother! :D

Connie, I'll be 57 in December!
10-13-2005, 05:09 PM
momoffuzzyfaces

Quote:

Originally Posted by david p

Connie, I'll be 57 in December!

My bro beat you! He was 57 in Feb. You're still a young pup yet! :D
10-14-2005, 01:48 AM
davidpizzica

Quote:

Originally Posted by momoffuzzyfaces

My bro beat you! He was 57 in Feb. You're still a young pup yet! :D

Connie, tell that to my body. LOL! Yeah, I guess I'm still young at heart.
10-14-2005, 06:44 AM
lbaker

Oh pshaw ya'll. I graduated HS in '65. I've been a card carrying member of AARP for years. We may be gaining weight but at least we can brag that we are gaining wisdom as well :p AND experience, good bad or indifferent.. at least we have grown beyond Boone's Farm :eek:
So Debbie is the Homecoming Queen and Mario, of course, is King (who else would wear cherries instead of emeralds in his crown?). But I pronounce myself President of Gini's FAN club! Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray! All Hail! Let's all genuflect to us... ohmmmmmmmm~~~~
10-14-2005, 10:56 AM
DJFyrewolf36

Quote:

Originally Posted by lbaker

at least we have grown beyond Boone's Farm :eek:

Not all of us ;)

Man I remember one particular party where I downed a whole bottle of Strawberry Hill Boones Farm. I didn't feel a darn thing...until I stood up and fell flat on my face!

One shouldn't underestimate the power of cheap wine :D
10-14-2005, 01:15 PM
Logan

I can remember a particular fraternity party when I was in college and the future husband (#1) drank a lot of Mogan David wine.......I held his head for him as he lost it all. :eek: That's the only time he ever did that and the only time I ever did that for him!

Richard, I know it is Friday, but I'm ready for another coconut-less Mai Tai. It's been a harsh day, workwise. :(

Logan
10-14-2005, 02:15 PM
RICHARD

Quote:

Originally Posted by Logan

Richard, I know it is Friday, but I'm ready for another coconut-less Mai Tai. It's been a harsh day, workwise. :(

Logan

iT'S FIVE O'CLOCK SOMEWHERE...

A coco-less Mai Tai?
DONE!

----------------

I remember Spanada wine......It was a poor man's Sangria.

You drank a bunch passed out and people would say, "Look at that poor man....lying on the floor like that!!"

Ah, those were the days! :)
10-14-2005, 02:23 PM
DJFyrewolf36

Ahh...Memories...

The first time I got *REALLY* hung over I went to a party after Prom (at a hotel lol). It was my 18th birthday...now mind you this was the first and only time I mixed beer and other types of liquer (Stupid stupid idea!) I drank a wee bit too much, lets say, and ended up arguing for an hour with a fake palm tree. My friends say I was trying to get my drink back because the tree stole it :rolleyes: . Well I don't remember much after that. In the morning, I was awakened by someone kicking me and realized I was topless, in a closet! :eek: I guess I had lost my dinner all over myself and my friend had taken my shirt off and threw it in the bathtub. Well I was still pretty tipsy, and the room was upstairs and I fell down them of course. Twice. Once going back up lol.

I got home late the next afternoon hung over and feeling miserable. Mom decided to cook eggs and vaccum all day...I didn't get yelled at though, mom was sure I was being punished enough!
10-14-2005, 02:31 PM
gini

Richard, may I have a mai tai please? In a bucket glass - with some pineapple and a cherry and one of those cute little umbrellas?

Boy, there are days I wish this wasn't a cyber bar - but we were all together swapping our stories in person!

But then I would have to "really" clean up - wouldn't I? And do dishes and glasses and stuff - but - then there would be Mario - and we could really get to hug him.
10-14-2005, 02:45 PM
Killearn Kitties

Quote:

Originally Posted by gini

Boy, there are days I wish this wasn't a cyber bar - but we were all together swapping our stories in person!

Wouldn't that be fantastic?????? So who is going to be the first to recruit a millionaire to PT who can provide us with private jets to all meet up, say twice a year?
10-14-2005, 02:51 PM
lbaker

If I win the 200 + million powerball lottery this weekend you're on!! Keep all paws crossed :D I just noticed something Gini, you joined PetTalk 5 years ago this month, just two months before I did :eek: We ARE old ;)
10-14-2005, 03:06 PM
Tubby & Peanut's Mom

Oh Gini, I wish the same thing! And you wouldn't have to worry about really having to clean up because when friends are together, that's part of the fun!

I've got waaaaayyy too many "drunk stories" to tell. Yes, I was a bit of a rebel in my younger years. Thank goodness someone was always looking out for me and I made it safely past that stage. Instead of telling you another "drunk story" I'll tell you about when I finally realized drinking wasn't all it's cracked up to be.

<sits down in rocker with coconut-less Mai Tai in hand and looks off into the distance remembering> I was about 23 and living (by myself, this was pre-Tubby) in the bottom half of a house. The landlord, a little old lady - Isabelle (this is Izzy), lived upstairs. Most nights I was out in the bars, especially weekend nights were after the bars closed it was time to find a party. So, one particular Saturday I didn't get home until all hours of the morning. I finally got out of bed around 1:00 in the afternoon and dragged myself to the backyard to layout (lay on the lawnchair and get a tan). Basically all I needed to do was lay there and pass out again, thus getting some rest in before it was time to get ready and go out again. After about 5 minutes I realized I couldn't stand the heat. I was too hung over to layout. That's when it hit me - here was a perfectly be-u-tee-ful weekend day and not only could I not function, I couldn't even stand to be outside. I realized that staying up until all hours was not worth losing beautiful days over. There are only so many perfect days in a year and I was wasting them sleeping off hangovers from nights spent in dark smokey bars where I only thought I was having fun. Ever since that day, I have cut down drastically on my alcohol intake and have benefited dramatically from my choice. I am far better off in life than I would have been had I continued on that path. Now it's to the point where I don't remember the last time I was hung over....oh, wait a minute....I do remember.....it's been a long long time....but that's another story..... ;)
<stops rocking, shakes head and looks around>Oh my, I'm rocking in the corner all by myself! Oh, oh....is this what I have to look forward to - being a little old lady rocking in her chair reminiscing to herself? ;) :rolleyes: :)
10-14-2005, 03:12 PM
Killearn Kitties

Quote:

Originally Posted by lbaker

I just noticed something Gini, you joined PetTalk 5 years ago this month, just two months before I did :eek: We ARE old ;)

Hey! 5 isn't old!!
10-14-2005, 05:52 PM
RICHARD

Quote:

Originally Posted by Killearn Kitties

Hey! 5 isn't old!!

It's only 42 in cat years!

Hey, Bring Micky over so we all can party with him! :D

DONE?

Gini,
Here's a drink for the Poster Child for Bad Luck for the Month of October!!

DONE!

DJ,

Ugh!
the smell of food when you are hungover is enough....

T&P
Ah, the good old days.....

One time a friend and I did two ball games and a concert on two days.

Today?
I'm luck to get out of bed. :D

Hey everyone,

I'll peek in over the weekend,

The key is under the floor mat by the back door, JUST IN CASE!! :)
10-14-2005, 06:34 PM
DJFyrewolf36

Who wants to PARTAY toniiiggght!

Excuse me while I sing off key...tonight there is a party, the first indoor party of the season! Ahh, I love electronic music recitals lol :D

I'll have another Mai Tai and the usual round of CNT's as I'm heading out the door.

Please join me in a cheer:

T-G-I-F! T-G-I-F!

:D :D :D Work has been...well you can come up with an apropriate explative ;). I am SOOO glad it's the weekend! Spending time with my mom, my good friends and the fuzzbutts is my idea of heaven.
10-14-2005, 09:10 PM
QueenScoopalot

I dropped in for a few... Haffenreffers (pardon my spelling..not sure that's how to spell that vile beer..that got me plastered), http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/er...smiley-012.gif and then some...and now I'm really wretching..memories of "Southern Comfort" http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/wu...smiley-015.gif..I think I'll actually pass on both High School memories. :rolleyes: The beer (Haff/Reefer that's the name)! caused me to break my thumb in several places before an Aerosmith concert. :eek: Felt nooooooooo pain, and had a great time until morning rolled around and I had to explain to the parents why my hand was the size of a baseball, and where I was the night before. :rolleyes: We won't get into the Southern Comforter..blechkkk...I cannot to this day...30 years later, even smell that stuff without gagging. :eek: I'll have something nice and soothing like a Mai Tai please! and please pass the Rolaids. ;)

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