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I had totally forgotten about "may I be excused"! Good grief, that took me back!
I love the sound of the wee hoe. I have never heard of a "pusher" before (well in terms of cutlery anyway). Do you know if they are a peculiarly American thing, because of the different way of eating?
I am Canadian, but I will answer as well. I eat everything except for the obvious soup, cereal etc with a fork. I eat stew, peas, mashed potatoes everything with a fork and only set out a knife if needed. If the meat is chicken I will cut it with a butter knife :o, but steak or something tough I will use a steak knife.
I was wondering how do you hold your fork when cutting? I turn it upside down so the hump is facing up (dunno how to explain) I always thought it looked horrible seeing people cut their meat with their fork the standing up. So what do you do?
I use a fork for most everything. I will use a knife to cut steak, chicken etc. I don't usually use my fingers though. I eat with my utensils. I will cut up all my food and then eat it as well. Saves time :D If i need a spoon for soup, ice cream or anything a fork can't handle then I will use a spoon. I'll even use my fork to eat my french fries, lol. I hate using my fingers unless it's neccessary. However, I never set a table properly. I just grab what I need and use it. I really don't know what utensils to use for salad, soups, desserts etc. I have never been in any formal situations really to use all of those utensils.
The only time I use a knife is if I have a piece of meat like a steak or chicken breast, that needs to be cut up. But I don't cut anything esle. For the most part I use whatever utensil is needed... fork for solid foods, spoon for the softer stuff.
I tried using a fork and spoon for spaghetti and ended up frustrated. *laughs*
I don't switch from right to left when I am cutting and eating, I just use the fork in my left hand then.
I grew up with just my mom. She was a single mom often working 12 hour days to support us, but she still insisted on making a homemade meal every night for dinner. We did not have many of the things most people take for granted today, like dishwashers, air conditioning, cable TV, and for awhile even a washer and dryer (we had to go to the laundromat). So Mom did the best she could do after long exhausting work days followed by making a meal every night. She made sure I knew basic table manners but did not practice all the "proper" utensil usage. Of course I used a fork/spoon and not my hands for foods (except like pizza and burgers). She did the best she could to bring me up as "civilized" as possible, and I love her for it.
I really don't think of it as civilized versus uncivilized. I look at it as formal versus informal. At home I am informal. At a restaurant I am formal. With guests I am more formal than without.
There's a big difference between formal and informal eating in my school. When I want to eat like a slob and forgo proper table manners I take my tray to a different room to eat (we can eat in any room in the campus center but there is a main hall for eating). This is especially true for chicken which I don't like to cut with a knife but rather to eat with my fingers. I'll be proper in front of guests and strangers but I eat like a pig when nobody is around.
This brings up another thought, when you have a can of soda at supper do you pour it into a glass or drink out of the can? I drink out of the can, who wants to dirty another dish when you are in a family of six and have no dishwasher. My grandparents drink out of a glass. At school we pour it in glasses. I never add ice either, especially with fountain soda, its already cold and ice just waters it down.
I use a glass, with ice, drinking out of a can makes me burp :o I like to drink milk with food unless it's wine with dinner.
It's funny what each of us think as the right way and the wrong way.
My hubby's parents always insisted their children set the table "the right way"when growing up. Knife and spoon on right side of plate and the fork on the left. That is done in nicer restaurants as well. I guess this is for European eating but they didn't eat like Europeans. We would set the table with all the utinsils on the right side of the plate. Then I see my hubby at times cup the fork in the palm of his hand instead of laying the fork between the forefinger and thumb, like a child eating. That also looks like shoveling to me. I never say anything to him about it, it's too little to worry about but he will comment on how I set a table. Just silly. LOL
Also when I see a movie with people eating the Euopean way I notice they rarely look at their companion. The are too busy putting the food on the fork and loading it up just so. I actually miss out on what they are saying, I get too engrossed with their food handling. And how do people eat peas? Are they mashed onto the fork? EWWW, I don't want to see any food mashed before going into the mouth except mashed potatoes. LOL Anyway, with the American way with putting the knife down you can look up at your companion and talk to them better while switching.
Also, with the fork facing up you can scoop the peas and other hard to eat food onto the fork and into the mouth in one movement. I wouldn't know how to eat with a fork down, no way to scoop the food up that way. LOL No need to use bread to sop up the juice on the plate which is another pet peeve of mine.
Do Europeans not eat mashed potatoes? I could never eat mashed potatoes with the fork down. LOL
I guess we all just need to eat and not watch our neighbor. :rolleyes: As far as movies, leave out the eating scene. LOL
I read through a lot of the posts (but I don't have time to read them all right now) and found them interesting.
Depending on the food, I only use a fork. I don't use a knife unless my food needs to be cut. I just stab the food with the fork.
I eat with my left hand (I am left handed in general). If something does need to be cut I switch my fork to my right hand and use the knife to cut with my left. I then set the knife down on my plate and switch my fork back to my left hand to eat the piece I cut. I generally don't cut everything at once.
Thank you, Sara! I was a bit taken aback at some of the replies here. :DQuote:
Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
Form matters to me..... I lived alone for 20 years and even if my dinner was burger and fries from MacDonald...I set a place...plate, napkin, fork and knife...and possible a spoon. I still do that regardless. And meat is cut one bite at a time. Parents cut up bite-sized meat for the children.
When my step-sons lived with us they made great fun of me for insisting on a set table. We called it ..."being civilized!"
I dislike eating with some folks because of their (lack of) table manners.
While it is more efficient to eat as the rest of the world does-in regards to knives and forks- it seems odd to do it here.
Quote:
Originally posted by lbaker
As a small child we had what was known as a "pusher" for peas and such. It was a sterling (always sterling silver dahling) utensil that looked like a wee hoe, small enough to fit small fingers.
How funny! My friend gave Jonah a pusher! I had to ask him what it was. It makes perfect sense, and I can't wait until Jonah can use it. As my friend explained, it is only until Jonah learns proper use of knives and forks, of course!:D
That loud noise you just heard? No, not another mudslide or earthquake....just my reaction to a CAN of soda on the dining table....:D ;) :rolleyes: :D :eek:
I never had a pusher. :(
I finally read thru the thread and I must say I've done it all.
I've used my knife or a piece of bread to push food on my fork (my thumb too when I'm alone :o Yay for double joints ;) ).
I've switched from left hand to right when cutting food.
I've ate with my left hand if I don't want to fuss with switching.
I've also ate with tongs down (which drives my mom crazy - for some reason she hates that :confused: ).
Most of the time, I only eat with a fork, but if a situation arises, I'll adapt. :)
You couldn't post a picture of it sometime could you? I'd love to see it! :DQuote:
Originally posted by Cataholic
My friend gave Jonah a pusher!
LOL!!!!!!! I'm the same way! :o It drives me crazy when we get ready to sit down to a meal that I have worked hard to prepare and my husband has a plastic drink cup, the kids have cans or bottles and they could care less! I'm training them, slowly but surely. Helen already knows that I want matching glasses on the table and no plastic cups and no cans! Ha Ha!!! I'm the same way about silverware and plates, too. They need to all be the same kind!Quote:
Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
That loud noise you just heard? No, not another mudslide or earthquake....just my reaction to a CAN of soda on the dining table....:D ;) :rolleyes: :D :eek:
To take it a step further, I also don't like to put ketchup, mustard, pickles, mayonaise, etc on the table in their containers. This is where my mother has rubbed off on me a lot. Even if we're eating burgers off of paper plates, I still want to put that stuff in a bowl first. I will admit that this is one thing that I do not push real hard on, though. I'm way outnumbered! Heck, if I can get them to set the table properly and learn to use a butter knife, I'll be happy! :rolleyes:
Ok, ok- no can on the table, no pot on the table and no mustard jar on the table:
but now comes the REAL tough question:
How about a CAT on the table?
Or two?:D ;)
*is sure neither her friend Sara nor Logan will ever again invite her for dinner*
As long as the cats are in neither cans nor plastic bottles, they are welcome on the table.....assuming they know how to correctly use a butter knife of course.....
I don't know how can you eat everything without a knife! I eat burguers, pizza and that kind of things with the hands, of course.
My house is a mess when we have dinner... food is ready and nobody is on the table, we have lots of different bottles and that kind of things, but the worst is that, in the last weeks Anita learnt to climb up the chairs.......so perhaps I go to the kitchen to get something, and when I come back, she's on my chair, eating from my plate! I don't have problems with this, but my dad hates seeing Anita around the food.....for me it's ok:p
Here is a sterling silver Tiffany's baby pusher ($250....:eek: :eek: )
pusher
And you can get it monogrammed!
My hubby tells the kitties to get off the table. He doesn't sit on their food bowl and they shouldn't sit in his. LOL
Do they listen? NOOOOOOO. They do jump down when he comes home but I've given up. They jump up on the table all the time when I'm here and sit by me. I tell them to get down and they just look at me. I have to get up and actually push them. So I have given up. Only when they lay down and start to make it their bed do I get after them anymore. :rolleyes:
Oh that pusher is so sweet! Thanks very much for that! Jonah and Laurie are welcome at my table anytime with their silver pushers. :D
I can't see a baby using that. LOL I can't see anyone using it really. A piece of bread is ok to be a pusher in my book. AndQuote:
Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
Here is a sterling silver Tiffany's baby pusher ($250....:eek: :eek: )
pusher
And you can get it monogrammed!
$250? :eek: :eek:
Talk about a slow news day!
One of my dad's biggest pet peeves are cats on the table. They can't get on the counters either, he has always hated that. But his dog (Mini) always has her own chair at the table, and if everyone is at home and no chairs are open for Mini he will go and get her one.
As for the pusher...I've never seen one and I can't imagine using something like that!!!
Ha Ha! You are right, SAS!
Barbara as much grief as my husband gives me for trying to be too proper, he would just DIE if the cat got on the counter or the table! Me, not really! If you handle the amount of dog hair I deal with you, you can handle just about anything. :o
Whenever I tell this Filou he says "You are very welcome to share my bowl with me.":pQuote:
Originally posted by janelle
My hubby tells the kitties to get off the table. He doesn't sit on their food bowl and they shouldn't sit in his. LOL
That is the first pusher I have ever seen, definately not an American thing around here.
No cats or other critters on the table please, except maybe a cockroach occasionally. I don't like people or animals leaning any body part over food and I hate to imagine where the cat's feet have been.
You guys would hate my house. We all have our favorite dishes and nothing matches. The kids have their character plates and cups (plastic so they don't break anything), I have my vintage set, my mom has her Correlle (sp?) and my stepdad usually takes what's left over in the pan after we all dish up and eats in the family room out of the pan.
Ketchup and other condiments are set out buffet style on the counter if needed and put on the food before it is brought to the table. I also have little Japanese dipping cups for sauce.
No napkin rings or place mats or anything fancy and annoying like that.
When I graduate college and get my own place its a different story. I plan to have formal settings and teach my kids proper. But until then I'll be lazy at my parents house.
A properly set table.....
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/...3/fb879887.jpg
or....http://www.imagestation.com/picture/...a/fcbf9f4f.jpg
:DQuote:
Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
Dear Logan....thank you.
Butter (not sweet Butterboy) is put on the plate with the butter knife....
each bite of bread is then buttered from the butter put on
your bread plate ...with your OWN knife...
not the common butter knife....
(Now I understand how Miss Manners gets so exhausted!)
Oh, the Trials & Tribulations of being raised by a Mom who MUST have
co-authored that "eddi-kut book" with ole What's-her-name! :p
Bread & Butter Chapter:
There were always TWO styles of "Butter Knife" on the table -
1) ONE common Butter SERVING Knife - a wierd-lookin cross between
a knife and a fork - like a bent knife - designed for ONLY a right-hander!
The Butter SERVING knife rode around the table on the common Butter
Plate - the "supply" dish that carried a 1/4 pound stick of butter.
"Please pass the butter" got you the Supply Plate
WITH it's companion Butter SERVING Knife riding along -
ready to fall off as soon as you touched the plate!
Butter plate HELD in your left hand, you sliced off a suitable
(Not so MUCH, Johnny!)
hunka butter which you then transferred to you OWN Bread Plate.
Butter SERVING Knife was then returned to the Butter SUPPLY Plate -
and you "bothered" someone else at the table to get rid of the Butter.
Next, grab a roll - :eek: (Johnny! - "Ask" to have the rolls "Passed"!)
"Take" the roll dish; then pluck one out from under the nappi-kin they
were always hidden under ... then try to get rid of the Roll Dish...
Now "break" the roll or bread slice (another NO-NO - trying to butter-up
a whole roll or slice of bread!)
HALF a roll or slice in Left paw, pick up YOUR Butter Knife -
that lil "shortie" knife with the rounded end - NOT your main cuttin knife! -
and butter ONE (small) byte atta time!
Peas, Corn, and other "Hard to Eat" stuff
Dad came from a "Proper Eatin" Family just like Mom did ...
But he'd learned a few Tricks that he passed along when
Mom went to get something from the kitchen!
Corn & Peas -
That stuff that just would NOT jump onna fork and make it all the
way up to your mouth?
Dad's FIX:
First - ALWAYS "save" a "backstop" on you plate - something you
could *herd* those pesky PEAS up against and use to *hold* em
still whil you slid the fork under em!
Good Backstops were a hunka meat or better yet -
a nice pile of Mashed Potatoes!
"Loadin" da peas was only half the battle ... ya had to get em
"delivered" to your mouth!
Dad's FIX ~
"MIX" em with something "sticky" - gravey was his first choice!
Or he'd do a Combo-Load ... <push> em into the mashed spuds
and then scoop a bit of the spuds on the fork WITH the peas ...
the spuds made a lil BackStop on the fork - a sure way to deliver
*most* of the peas to your mouth and not your lap!
If we had "Company", Mom would "Go Formal" and pull out ALL the *stuff* -
Polish the "Good Silver" and lay out ALL the "Specialty Tools" -
Servin and Carvin stuff that didn't often see daylight ...
And Dad would go "Hill-Billy" - "HEY, what's THIS Do-Thingy for!?"
Mom would just :) and :rolleyes:
Ahhh, the Gud Ole Daze! :D
/s/ Phred
We were brought up to have manners at the table, to the point of feeling like we were in the Army and sitting next to a drill sargent! No elbows, no noises, no reaching, no nothing. We used paper napkins - I use only cloth now......or my sleeve! We had to be excused from the table - we didn't just bolt when we were finished. "May I please be excused?"......... We were not allowed to root through the refrigerator for snacks etc, we had to ask. !
I think society in the US is missing the standard manners in many families. I work with some attorneys with the worst manners I have ever seen. It is not what they do, career wise, just that you would think they would care about how they appear while out/in dining with fellow workers and clients. Some children (and many grown-ups) today simply amaze me with their lack of manners. Don't get me started..... Yes, it is a slow news day!
Anyhow, I do use all my utensils and chew with my mouth CLOSED.....and do the best I can to not offend any fellow dinners.
Of course...asking to be excused from the table! Once my cousin left the table without asking to be excused. My mother called to him..."Johnny, did you forget to do something before you left the table?" He came back...sat down...and said a prayer!
My mother stills laughs about it to this day. That was NOT what she was expecting....
I was brought up by my grandparents and my mom and our house was the same way...no elbows, asking to be excused, putting a napkin on our laps, etc.Quote:
Originally posted by sasvermont
We were brought up to have manners at the table, to the point of feeling like we were in the Army and sitting next to a drill sargent! No elbows, no noises, no reaching, no nothing. We used paper napkins - I use only cloth now......or my sleeve! We had to be excused from the table - we didn't just bolt when we were finished. "May I please be excused?"......... We were not allowed to root through the refrigerator for snacks etc, we had to ask. !
I was in for a shock when I met my now husband. If he needs to cut meat with a knife he takes hold of the knife and gives it a full fisted grip:rolleyes: :rolleyes: you would think that the knife was going to sprout legs and run off the table. I have tried to show him several times how to properly hold a fork and knife but to no avail...so I stopped.
As for using a fork and a knife....I too only use the knife to cut my food and the fork to eat with. I really never gave it any thought but I must say I do find this thread to be very interesting.
well this has turned out to be very interesting and rather amusing, thanks for the replys everyone, we here in NZ just cannot manage without our knives and forks, it is like having bacon without eggs, it is just the norm here, and I think we take a lot of our traditions from our British ancestors who first settled here.
Some of us,like to load up. like we eat say a bit of mashed potatoe, some peas and the meat altogether in conjuction with our fork, of course some people like to eat their food separately, again its a preference thing.
I don't consider it uncivilised versus civilised, it is just customs that occurr in different countries, as you would think us weird using both ,we think it weird not using both.
However there are sometimes I might just use my fork like eating scrambled eggs with no toast underneath, then I would just use my fork.:)
I love forks, and sporks are great too!
Hey what on earth is a spork??:D
Thank you Kater for your PM, I thought it might be a mixture of the two , but I was not sure if I was having my leg pulled,(a joke), we have them here too, but they are used for serving spoons, for salads etc.:)
"SPORK SPORK SPORK"!! It's just a rather silly word like "QUARK QUARK QUARK"! i actually bought a "SKQUIRT" once that was like culottes back in the old days :o I'm sooo glad you discovered that there really was a utensil like a "pusher" Sara, that's exactly what mine looked like. DANG, I wish I knew where it was now. Not that I'd ever give it up but ... I also remember hearing "Mable Mable, if you're able, keep your elbows off the table" My Mom used to take a knife to our arms and flick them. Boy, that hurt and only had to be done once!!
My mom didn't use a knife, Laurie, nor did she say the little poem, but she got her point across by thumping us on the elbow! LOL!!! No arms, no elbows on the table, EVER!!!!!!
I knew the poem as "Mable, Mable, strong and able...get your elbows OFF the table...."
I once went to a wedding reception that was "catered" by Kentucky Fried Chicken. It was the first time I saw a spork....and a plastic one at that!
Quote by catlover4ever:
"If he needs to cut meat with a knife he takes hold of the knife and gives it a full fisted grip you would think that the knife was going to sprout legs and run off the table."
Oh gosh, this had me laughing!!
Sara, you were at a wedding reception with KFC? Was it a "tongue in cheek" type thing? Or an accident/emergency? You are so classy, I can't picture you there....
My house was the same, no elbows, no TV on, the phone just rang and rang if someone dared call during the dinner hour, no singing (I don't know why that rule went into effect, I don't remember my siblings and I being big "singers" but we must have been??)
We had to ask to be excused, thank my mother for dinner, put our dish in the sink and push in our chair. That was a big one too, pushing in the chair...don't know where that came from....Actually now that I think about it, are these etiquette rules or were my parents a bit strict at the dinner table....? ;)