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She has boundaries, but we let them decide things for themselves. We are also VERY open with our kids and they know they can come to us with anything (and trust me, we have had them approach us with some doozies of situations) but my oldest daughter generally doesn't take advantage of that open forum and feels the need to sneak around. We have told her time and time again that she can come to us with ANYTHING and we'd deal with it, but if she lies and hides things, then we will not react well because we want open dialog.
We definately have boundaries and the kids all know where the line is to cross... and she's just crossed it. They know that ocne they cross the line then there will be punsihments issued and work to be done. Our main thing to them is honesty... tell us the truth and we will make thigns right. Lie to us and then youre in deep trouble. She has consistently lied to us for as long as I've known her (since she was 12)and hubby warned me when I met her that she was a liar. (I am the "evil" step mom)
We have expectations for them and the all work within their expectations - all except her. I swear she has that middle child syndrome where she feels inferior compared to her younger sister and older brother. I don't know why she feels this way, but she aparently must.
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What about trying out a baby monitor? You could hide it near the door she leaves out of or even somewhere very close to her bedroom door. Or you could use a webcam that is activated by movement and automatically begins recording. Have it pointed towards wherever it is she leave thru. She can't lie when you have her on video! :D I have a logitech webcam that came with software that activates your cam thru motion detection. I've used it to see what my dogs did all day while I was at work. You can even have it set up to where you can check in on it from a computer at work etc. Just a couple idea's I thought I'd share. Good Luck;)
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She sounds like one of those kids in my school that i'd just love to smack upside the face.
I hate hearing the kids in my school talk about how they snuck out and got caught, but tried again the next night.
I'm not sure why she's doing it, or why she feels the need to lie about it. I do know that she sounds just like my sister when she was that age. My parents just ran through the teen years with my sister, until she eventually grew up. Well, I wouldn't say she grew up, she's still pretty immature, but she's a lot better than she was, and she's pretty successful at the age of 23. :)
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Kim,
You and your situation are on my mind. I really hope she'll see that she has it good and the only thing that sneaking out will do will diminish trust and get her into all forms of trouble.
I love the ideas so far. It sounds like she needs to be retaught the rules of the house. I love Staci's idea. You can come from the perspective of "kids who sneak out do drugs, have sex and drink, therefore, we're getting you drug tested, do we need to test for other things too??" Once she realizes that only a "child" behaves this way, and thus will be treated like one, maybe she'll want to act mature and be honest.
The bells/chimes on her door are another great idea!
How did hubby do on the couch last night?
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Hubby decided to sleep in bed last night. He is giving her one last try before he does that (I know, BIG pushover, and big sap for giving her the benefit of the doubt)
I didn't hear anything, but am utterly exhausted from sleeping with my ears listening for any small sound.
