I need all the hugs you can spare.

I'm late getting to this thread, sorry.

{{{Hugs}}} from Amber
{{{Purrs}}} from Cassy
{{{Headbumpies}}} from Livvy*

* And the Livstress headbumpies HARD

Jen, you are a delight and a wonder. I have some friends that retreat and/or lash out when they are in pain and I'm finally coming to grips with the fact that this is THEM not ME. It really sounds like your friend is like this, too. Like many of the others have said, this will be easier for you when your chemicals are regulated. Hang in there. You are loved. Even if you don't count Charlie ;) and a bazillion fur-kids and fosters :p how the heck can you ignore the manifold demonstration of us "Crazy Cat Wimun"? :D :cool: I also second the recommendation for a walk followed by a hot bath. Both help me lots when I'm in the mental state you are describing. Hang in there, dear.

"How could anyone fail to notice that your loving is a miracle? How deeply you're connected to our souls..."

{{hugz}} We all love you and what you do for the kitties.

Jen, I am sorry for what you are going through. I have problems with depression also. I think I've finally found the right medication for myself (fingers crossed). I hope that you get well soon. We all love you. Lots of hugs from me!

A miracle, no matter how small, is still a miracle after all.

Well, I have been the recipient of one of those small miracles. This Sunday's adoption day was cancelled. A highly improbable event. So Charlie and I took advantage of going to our church's late service (vs. our usual 8am service) And who was there to greet us? A troupe of actors from our local state hospital. They performed a play about mental illness (most significantly depression). It went through all the symptoms (MY symptoms, the ones I related to all so well that I cried through the entire thing). And went on to explain the process of help and support and the return to normalcy.

Had our adoption day event gone on as planned I would never have seen this production or felt the connection.


SIGH! It is hard to fathom, isn't it?

Jen, not a coincidence. Your higher power wanted you to be in church to see that presentation. God does work in mysterious ways.

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Originally posted by RedHedd
Jen, not a coincidence. Your higher power wanted you to be in church to see that presentation. God does work in mysterious ways.

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AMEN to that RedHedd.


Jen, today is a new and better beginning.:)

Jen,just look at all the Cast Lives,that you have saved,and all The Foster Cats,and Your Cats,and last,but not least Charles,and all The Pet Talkers,who appreciate,and love you,so very ,very much.The Found Cats,and I send extra Hugs,and Kitty Kissies.

Jen, I am glad that you are starting to feel not quite so "down". As someone who is on medication for depression I can sympathize with your emotions and thoughts. Remember that you are well loved by your husband, furkids, and everyone here. There was a specific reason the adoption day was cancelled, so please remember someone else loves you and wants to help you.

Going to see a counsellor will help work out this experience, but they will also provide you with the ability to deal with future situations.

{{{{HUGS}}}

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Jen, Although I'm coming to this thread a little late, I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling better.:) I hope that you'll be able to get the right kind of medication that you need and also the right kind of counseling. Please hang in there. I think you're a wondeful person. Take care.{{{{HUGS}}}:)

Jen sweetheart as you know there will be no quick fix, and you will have your bad and good moments, just want you to know we all understand and are here for both of those moments that you wish to share with us.

I am so happy to hear you sounding more positive, but sad to hear how unhappy this has made you, it is the old vicious cycle, when things or events come into our lives that make us feel as you are now, the old depression hits bigtime.

Hopefully Jen with all the love and support from hubby Charlie and the kitties and your close friends here on PT, we can help pull you through this black moment in your life.

Just take one day at a time Jen, and although I know your heart is heavy right now, with loosing someone you considered a very special person and who you loved, time is a great healer.

One never knows why these things befall us in life, and right now I am sure you are bewildered, but maybe in time things will seem clearer, they always say there is a reason for everything, but truthfully I cannot always see it myself and wonder why you, a very caring and loving person, should have to endure such emotional pain.

HUGS Jen and always here for you ok.:)

This thing really IS an emotional roller coaster, isn't it?

All I want is to be able to get through life without thinking that I ruin everything I touch.


For my own sake, I took the initiative and decided to cut ties with this person. I wish I did not have to do this, but I was told that I tell lies and that I am not rational.

This is the hardest thing I ever had to do, and it is not helping me get out of the deep dark place that I am in. But when my mind finally moves forward from this incident, maybe I can be happy again. Maybe I can look back at the friendship and realize that it was only meant to last a short time. Maybe I am needed someplace else.

Your words will always be a place that I can come back for to get support and warm feelings.

Thanks.

Know that we love you, okay?
To give yourself a grin, remember you and I realizing that *must* have been Ashley and dad and friend who passed us, then you and I running and shouting "Ashley!!!" probably confusing half the people around us. We didn't care then if people thought we were strange, it was worth it. Then think of that goofy yarn cow ...

Consider yourself hugged again.

Jen:

WARM HUGS FROM ALASKA

I'm so sorry that you're in such pain right now. It will pass once you get some time to heal. The end of a friendship is much like a death. It must be grieved. Please be kind to yourself and your loved ones while you're going through this.

I don't believe in coincidences either. You were meant to be at the services this morning. Perhaps you were meant to experience this loss also. Who knows what lessons you will learn from this experience?

You are in our thoughts and prayers.

How could anyone ever tell you

You were anything less than beautiful.

How could anyone ever tell you

You were less than whole.

How could anyone fail to notice

That your loving is a miracle.

How deeply you're connected to my soul.

Jen,
It took me about two weeks after my "incident" to feel better but I think that's because I tried to deal with it on my own first. The "so-called" friend in my case I think wanted to stay just casual friends (as opposed to friends you actually socialize with) but I made the same decision as you. I decided that the friendship was over and done with. The worst part for me is that I have to see this person everyday at work. We remain civil and smile at each other, make casual conversation, but I'll never let her into my life again. Yes, it hurts, but if I'm going to move on, it's the only option.

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but I was told that I tell lies and that I am not rational.

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Did this so-called friend say this to you? Talk about a stab in the heart!!! How on earth could this be true?? My response to this? Consider the source.

More {{{BIG HUGS}}} coming your way. If I lived in your town, I'd be honoured to have you as a close friend.

luv
slick
xo

I'm so sorry you are going thru this. Life does get tough sometimes. Just hug all your precious furbabies and I'm sure you will feel much better!:) Please take care of yourself.

Jen Luckenbach, you are friend to so many, both human and furry. I hate that any person could make you feel less that totally worthwhile!!!

Take care of you, first, and know that your friends are here for you. I am very grateful that you have received the warm feelings that you so much deserve from your Pet Talk friends.

Anything you need, I am here to try and help.

Logan

Jen, I 'swiped' this post from another board; one for weight loss. It hit me between the eyes, and I thought it might be good for you, too. It was titled "I took my best friend out to lunch". {{{hugs}}} and hope this helps you, too.

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Very often, I don't consider myself my best friend. I beat up on me, because I fail, because I don't loose what I think I should loose, I ridcule myself because I didn't exercise this week, because I didn't follow up on my diabetic plan. I poke myself because I lost my temper, basically I don't treat me as I would a best friend. Well, it dawned on me, an "ah ha" moment. That in order to make any of this healthy living stuff work, you have to have a little bit, if not more of a love of self.

So after, errands, I took my best friend out to lunch. Two meals for one price --- actually -- one meal, one price. I just sat there and enjoyed my Mexican meal with me. It was the best 45 minutes of a very long week. I like eating alone. I guess that comes from doing it so much in the restaruant business. Now don't ask me to go to a movie, but eating I can do.

Take your best friend for coffee, lunch, a coke this week. Learn to love you for you, no matter what you've done, not done, should have done. Love you up, as you would a best friend. I am thinking that once that real relationship is established, you won't do anything to hurt her/him and you'll give that person better treatment...yourself. I am thinking that's how it is going to work for me anyway.

Just a thought
Cathy

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Jen,

I'm sorry to come late to this thread, but its good to see you feeling better. :)

Don't let anyone make you feel you aren't the best Jen you can be. I'm sorry you are not always able to see what others see in you. I guess that's what we're here for, to remind you why we all love you.

For next time, when you're feeling a bit down, this is why I personally like you:
*You love cats and always put their needs before your own

*You are a good friend. I can see through your relationship with Jenny and Kim, you are indeed a good friend.

*You are kind and willing to offer support when needed. Remember all you did for Naomi's Bassett?

*You are forgiving. When you and I had a bit of a disagreement, you forgave my unkind words. It takes a bigger person to do that. :o

We love you. That "friend" didn't deserve you and sure as heck wont ever deserve all those tears.

I know God wanted you to know He's here for you and feels your current pain. That performance showed that.

Jen, you're loved. :) Hugs from my kitties and I.

Sending LOTS of hugs! :)

((((HUGS)))) ((((HUGS)))) ((((HUGS))))

Jen,

I'm sooo sorry you're going through all this horrible times. Your so-called friend doesn't sound like one at all. I send you HUGE HUGS, KISSES AND SCRITCHIES, from my family to yours.


Mina says to tell you that she sent the scritchies and to include head bumps for you. She wants to cheer you up. You're doing the right thing though by seeking help for depression and not just trying to deal with it. My psychiatrist prescribed Mina for me, and she has been a wonderful addition to our family. (tomarrow we find out if there is going to be another one of the human species.)

CHIN UP LUV AND WE ALL WILL KEEP YOU IN OUR PRAYERS AND GIVE YOU ALL THE HUGS YOU NEED. WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS HERE.;)

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Originally posted by slick
Did this so-called friend say this to you? Talk about a stab in the heart!!! How on earth could this be true?? My response to this? Consider the source.

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I know it's hard right now, but this "consider the source" is so true. Some people make themselves feel better by putting other people down, and usually the part of other people they pick on is the part of themselves that they don't like. Obviously I don't know you that well, but lieing and being irrational are two of the very last traits in the world that I would associate with Jen Luckenbach!

And this part might be hard too if you're going through depression and self loathing, but there comes a time when you have to say to yourself that no matter what somebody says to you, or names they might call you, that YOU KNOW BETTER! YOU know who you are and the kind of person you are and you KNOW what they are saying is not true, so you need to stand up for yourself and say to yourself "I don't care what they say because I AM A GOOD PERSON! People all over the world love me and care about me and I do good things in this world, so who cares what "she" thinks. SHE has it wrong and I don't need people like her in my life, bringing me down."

Sorry, but I just couldn't believe somebody would say this about you Jen. Especially someone who supposedly is/was a good friend. :(

I agree with Debbie! We KNOW you are a good person and you have to keep telling yourself this over and over .. Shut her and her negativity out of mind as much as you can and concentrate on feeling good about yourself.. Lots more love and hugs,

Lilith

Sorry I just got to this thread *Weekends are such a pain sometimes lol*

You seem like a wonderful, caring person! Even though I haven't had the pleasure of actualy meeting you I can tell from your posts and the great number of responses here. You are a person I would really like to meet some day.

As for your "friend" real friends don't do that to you. My ex pulled that kind of garbage on me and it messed me up. I went through counsiling and therapy too. Don't worry, things DO get better. God is there for you and all of us on PT are there too.

Remember, You are YOU and you are OK! :D

*HUGS* and *Headbumpies* from me and the gang

Jen, you are such a wonderful and kind person. Some times things do not work out they way we had planned .... and it is upsetting at best!

I am glad you are going to try to work it out with Dr.s etc. I highly recommend medications.....they have saved many a soul, including me! Depression is often a chemical thing....exercise is also very, very good for offsetting depression.......

Please keep us posted.

You have so many friends here......and you will always meet more here too!

You are loved by so many people here....and you CATS love you too.......that is for sure.....and your husband.... ooopppss, almost forgot him.....

So, chin up honey. Go for a nice long walk.......some place pretty....and think about how fortunate you are in so many ways........

Sas

[[[HUGS]]]

to you all :)

Hope you're feeling better Jen!!

How are you doing today Jen? Thinking of you and wishing you a brighter day today. Take care and giant HUGS.:)

changing colors daily for variety:)
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Gosh, sorry I'm late to this thread! First, I have to offer up some **HUGS**HUGS**HUGS**HUGS**
I'm not sure what happened with your "friend", but it's so unfortunate that it did. I experienced the same thing with my "best friend" in college and it really does leave an empty space in your heart where that person used to be. Obviously this person didn't regard friendship like you do, and that's their loss. You are too nice of a person, too caring of a person to deserve something like this. I agree with what everyone else here has said.
I know that when I went through the loss of my would-be friend, people told me that sometimes you hurt the ones you love the most.
I thought this was true, but in her case, she just didn't hold friendship in high esteem like I do. I know that when I make a connection...a friendship...it's unconditional. I'll be your friend forever...mistakes or not, during happy times, sad times...I like to consider myself a good friend to those people. I usually like to think that others think the same way of friendship that I do, but apparently they don't. One small, stupid miscommunication made my so-called friend dump our friendship just like that. Nice, huh? :eek:
Even years after, I feel a bit bitter towards this person because we had such good times in college. She was my best friend, and when she dumped our friendship so easily, I was stunned. I had no idea what to do and I couldn't even fathom why it was so easy for her to just drop it. Especially over something do dumb! :mad: I felt so empty, because I spent so much time with her, that I had no idea what to do with my time! I saw her in band and was hurt that she just completely ignored me and picked out a new friend. :(
I'm angry at what this person has done to you, because they clearly don't deserve your friendship, Jen. I know that's easy for me to say, but it's true. They have no idea what they have lost....and personally...you're better off without them. I'm glad to hear that you're feeling a bit better and that you've severed the ties, so to speak.
Please know that you have all of us here at PT! We love you Jen! :D :D :D
**hugs**
Karen

It would be interesting to hear the other person's side of the story though before comdeming their actions maybe Lisa is suffering from some problems at the moment.

Jen told me about her problems with her PA friend on my forum too.

Even though there are always two sides to every story,and maybe this other person is having problems, but to take the stance they have with Jen seems a little harsh doesn"t it?

All I know is we have a very valuable kind and caring member from PT who needs our love and support right now, and for me that is all that is important, she has my support 100 per cent.

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Originally posted by carole
All I know is we have a very valuable kind and caring member from PT who needs our love and support right now, and for me that is all that is important, she has my support 100 per cent.

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Well said Carole. Jen, you know that I stand behind you too, but more importantly I would love to stand in front of you and give you the biggest hug ever. Every day will get a bit easier although it probably doesn't seem like that right now. I sure hope you can check in later and let us know how you are doing.

luv
slick
xo

Jenny is right, there are always 2 sides to every story. But I do not really know the other side, all I know is the pain. Hopefully I did not do something so terrible and so unknowingly, to hurt another person as badly as I myself am hurting right now.

But your support is wonderful and has helped me tremendously.

Thank you {{{{HUGS}}}}

Jen, you are a good person and a loving friend. Lisa is missing out on that - its her loss, not yours.

Jen I think it is going to be hard to find closure in this situation, because you told us even you donot know the other side of the story, and that is probably partly why you are feeling this hurt so much, maybe in time Lisa will let you know, maybe not, whatever happens we don't need to know her side, because it is YOU Jen that we know and care about, and YOU Jen that we want to offer support and positive thoughts.

None of us know Lisa, but we have all gotten to know you Jen, and the loving person you are, hold your head up high Jen, you are a great person, with an abundance of love to share, keep thinking good thoughts about yourself and try to cheer up ok.:)

More Hugs coming your way today and everyday.:)

Just checking to see how you are doing Jen. You are still in my thoughts and prayers.

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Originally posted by carole
None of us know Lisa, but we have all gotten to know you Jen,

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I feel this way exactly. Sure there are two sides, but our concern is Jen and how she feels. We are not here to mediate but to support our friend. She says she does not even know what she did to deserve the hurt - and this is not right. So, whatever the "other side" is - it is not our concern; *Jen* is.
So........for Wednesday....bright red hugs:
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Oh Jen., I'm so sorry I've missed this {{{{{HUGS. HUGS. HUGS. HUGS.}}}}}} to a very dear Friend who's hurting.
All my love sweetheart and hope this dark time goes very quickly.
I do hope you see a counsellor and maybe your doctor - when your on the right medication - it helps so much. Please don't think your being weak - 'cos your not - depression is an illness - and it needs the correct treatment.
All your love and caring shine from everything you post - I've always thought of you as a wise, loving and caring lady. xxx

Lynne