i still dont understand how it could "offend" anyone. But o well..... theres still lots of other threads!:D
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i still dont understand how it could "offend" anyone. But o well..... theres still lots of other threads!:D
This is somewhat bothersome to me. Primabella, from my reading of her posts, seems like a very very sweet, sensitive, caring young lady. So, we can pretty much know there wasn't any 'malice' in her initial post. Then, we have everyone jumping on here saying, "well, I didn't think it was offensive, wished it wasn't deleted"...so, my big ole' nosy question is...WHO HAD THIS PROBLEM WITH IT?
Karen, I guess I am suprised that you would send Primabella a pm about what might have been a sensitive thred when I don't see anything done about people who post things that can only be taken as insensitive :confused: :confused:
I thought we, after the last debacle, had decided as a community to act with more restraint, less offense, etc., so as to not have to have people deleting threds....this seems against that.
I must admit, as someone said...it is a FACT you either have children or you don't. That issue might be sensitive..but, so might us talking about jobs when one of us is unemployed, or about the health of our pet, when one of us has just lost our pet....
We always have the option to read a post or not......to post, or not. I feel bad that Primabella had to feel bad.
Richard-LOL LOL
:D :D
Great post, Cataholic. I hope Primabella doesn't feel too bad.
sorry i havn't been on.
i don't feel bad about the post i feel bad because i'm making karen look bad..hehe :D i don't mean to, karen. i didn't think people would even care for this thread. oh well. if we are all so interested in the idea, who wants to start it up again? ;) :p
who has said all nice things (and i believe that is everyone :D) i love this board for this very reaosn. i know i was being stupid for deleting it but i had my reasons which i posted before...don't wanna waste space saying it again ;)
thanks again :)
I also agree with Cataholic's post & wondered some of the
same things. I think it was just a misunderstanding on Prima's
part of a FYI type of message from Karen. Believe me, Karen
is anything but intimidating in her messages. Let's move on
with the discussion of whether or not anyone has children. :D
yeah I agree.
I don't have any.
So glad we all agree-
You can read a thread if you want but if its doesn't intrest you or offends you then don't read it and if you happen to read it pretend you didn't
Ash :D
No kids. Not now anyway. I'm thinking I need at least two more years to myself and Sam.
Well, I replied to the other thread, but I'll reply again. I have one son, eleven years old. He certainly wasn't planned, but he certainly is wanted. I also knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I didn't ever want to have any more children after him. He's a lovely child: artistic, intelligent, funny and sweet. Beginning to get that pre-teen attitude a bit, thinking is Mr. TooCool, but that's normal, I suppose. ;)
No kids:D :( :D WE got too old too fast...
Yes two daughters - both grown and flown - loved 'em to bits and still do!
Soledad - I don't blame you and Sam for having some time to yourselves before you go down the 'children' road!! Enjoy just being the two of you - - - - while you can!
Lynne
No kids, by choice
I have two grown children (aged 28 and almost 26) and now have known the joy of being a grandmom for the past 17 months. For me this was exactly what I wanted and planned for and I simply cannot imagine life without my children. I do realize that for others it is not, and I commend these people for not caving into the pressure from family and friends to do otherwise. And, Cataholic I think your answer was wonderful and speaks for me too! Well said!
Here, here! :)Quote:
Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
But here's my question...what with "Do you want to hold the baby?" Frankly, no.
I missed this whole thing until now, so I don't know what all the controversy is about, but I am CBC also.
And the only other thing I'll say is not disciplining your child in public makes you look like a bad parent.
Oh, and Richard - you're a riot! ;) :D :D
Quote from RICHARD
LOL I hope you don't mind me quoting that, but I found the wording very amusing. And no RICHARD, you are not dumb. I hope you don't take offense.Quote:
My parents let me pick my nose
And for the record, I have one kid, 26 years old who is a brain cancer survivor, and I'm damn proud of her!!!
No kids...but I want one. Maybe I can find a wholesaler someplace. As to kids, in general, I love them.
Said it once and I will say it again! I have a very beautiful baby blue eyed boy named Dylan John who is going to be 15 months old in a few days!!!:eek: Why can't they stay babies forever lol?
He is just began to walk about a month ago and now he is all over the place and it is so much fun chasing eachother around the house. He has the cutest high pitched laugh lol.
He was planned but it took me forever to get pregnant...and when we sort of forgot we were trying to have a baby, that's when I got pregnant lol! :p I remember when I took the test, we were so nervous. Dan would get sad everytime we took a test and it was negative so he started no watching and I would just come out and tell him I was sorry, but maybe next time around.
This time I made him look at it...and I was pregnant!! We started crying and were so happy, although we didn't tell anyone for about 2 months. We still have our test too. When we found out Dan set it on top of the dresser so we could see it everyday.
I remember when Dylan was born Dan was crying so bad lol. But of course Dylan came out blue too so a little crying was because of that as well. We were so happy......I taped my birth too.
Note to all expecting mothers who plan on taping your birth: DO NOT watch the video lol!!!
Dan kept fast forwarding me while I was pushing so you can see the oomps and ouchies on my face go by really fast......talk about amusing eh? :rolleyes:
Quote:
Originally posted by Tubby & Peanut's Mom
And the only other thing I'll say is not disciplining your child in public makes you look like a bad parent.
Oh, and Richard - you're a riot! ;) :D :D
my mom used a modified 'VULCAN NERVE PINCH' on us..
she'd bend over and take a small bit if flesh from the inside
part of our arm and twist....all the while whispering, "behave or wait until we get home............."
that's what turned me into the monster/riot i am today;)
child abuse!!!! just kidding.....the part that KILLS ME is when i
hear a parent say, 'I want them to have everything I didn't have when I was growing up......" CAT SPIT!!!!
that just leads to Iwanna syndrome. 'i wanna playstation, i wanna
pair of nikes, i wanna.........'
my parents, to me......'go out and earn it..'
okay..I'll post again..
I love kids...probably because they are not my own. Babies especially. Older kids start giving you attitude if mom or dad let them get away with it. Yes, that's right...LET them get away with it. I cannot stand a parent when talking about disciplining their child says "Well, he/she just doesn't listen to me." Excuse me, who is the parent? You don't need to beat your child in order to dicipline..but there are ways to make your child behave. My mother never hit me..not so much as a pat on the but...but all it took was one look from her and I knew I had to tow the line....or else.
I don't have children now becasue at 23 I love my freedom and still feel I'm too young to take on that responsibility. And it is a great responsibility. I feel too many have a child without considering exactly what it entails. That little person depends entirely on you for their care and well being. If you have a child, you darn well better be able to care for him/her financially, physically, and emotionally.
Joey would love to get married and have children now. For one, I say when we do eventually have children...let's see how badly we warp one, before we have any more....and two, I don't think he fully grasps what raising a child is like. My step-father was out to sea in the Navy when my little sis was a newborn. With my mother working and going to school, I helped with feedings, diaper changings, 2 am feedings, a screaming child that you can't do anything for because you have to realize sometimes babies cry and you just have to deal with it. It's going through those types of stressful moments that makes the smiles and love and laughter of a child all the more special and worth it.
So for me not having a child is right for me right now. For some not having any at all is right for them. Whether or not you choose to have a child is your own personal decision and no one should judge you for it.
Well, how about a picture?!
This is me with my great- neice, Anna, taken Jan 2003.
thanks for understanding :) it was dumb of me to delete it but we're starting it up again and i learn from all this :D
i love kids and want to have at least 3 of them. all my cousins who have kids let me stay with the baby when we visit. i do everything with them.
i know..kids do grow too fast, luckies! i remember my bro from when he was 1 and now he is 10 :( he was the biggest cutie. yesterday we found some old pics of him. too cute :D
i love little kids too. babies are soo adorible!:D I want one! hehe but then you think of all the down sides of having one:rolleyes:
lol.... oh well. ill play with other peoples kids.:) lol:p
Me and Eric don't have any kids and I am not sure if we ever will. Were still real young now I'm only 22 and he is 24. I like kids but I don't know if there right for us. We have too many plans for life and I don't want to neglect my children of anything (if we have any). I have a niece and a nephew and he has a niece and a nephew and spending time with them is fun but I just can't see myself with any children. ... I would not be surprised if we end up not having any. .... And if we do It will be a blessing from God and I would love it with all my heart~ But sometimes it is kind of hard on me because family is always asking me when we are going to have kids and it is kind of hurtful but... oh well... they will love me and respect our decision if that is what it turns out to be. :)
Hope that made since..:o
What downsides are there of having children?
You want to travel? Fine, take your kids along. I would much rather experience the world with my family than just Dan and I. It is so exciting to know that you are adding enrichment to your childs life.
We NEVER had vacations when I was younger. My son is going to see everything...as soon as I get over the fear of him falling out of his backpack carrier while hiking. ;)
I love kids (disciplined ones) and babies. I love baby smells.....dirty diapers are fine too. A child is such a precious thing, and it is really awesome and mind blowing to see how they grow and learn. It's truly amazing. Ya so Dan and I can't go out all the time, so what. I was never a real partier or anything and it's a lot more rewarding seeing a big smile on my sons face after taking him to the pond to feed the ducks and geese than it is if I went to a movie.
the only way any one could answer this is from their own perspective. Your life WILL change, and if you are not willing to accept those changes, then THAT would be a "down side".Quote:
What downsides are there of having children?
enough said or this thread WILL become controversial
Sara, this makes total sense. In fact, i'm in this same position at the moment. I've never really been a "kid person". Does that make sense? I mean, I don't dislike them, but I just don't think they're right for me right now. I have a nephew and he's just adorable and in fact, I'll include a picture of me and my nephew! :) But just after a few hours with him, I'm done! LOL LOL :o I admit, if I walk into a room and there is a baby and a puppy or a kitten, I would more than likely go to the puppy or kitten first. :o LOLQuote:
Originally posted by Sara luvs her Tinky
Me and Eric don't have any kids and I am not sure if we ever will. Were still real young now I'm only 22 and he is 24. I like kids but I don't know if there right for us. We have too many plans for life and I don't want to neglect my children of anything (if we have any). I have a niece and a nephew and he has a niece and a nephew and spending time with them is fun but I just can't see myself with any children. ... I would not be surprised if we end up not having any. .... And if we do It will be a blessing from God and I would love it with all my heart~ But sometimes it is kind of hard on me because family is always asking me when we are going to have kids and it is kind of hurtful but... oh well... they will love me and respect our decision if that is what it turns out to be. :)
Hope that made since..:o
I have the highest respect for both couples who are CBC as well as those who choose the route of being parents. It's a tough job! Kudos to both types! Whatever is right for each couple, is how it should be! :)
Sara, I totally know where you're coming from on the family issue. My mother-in-law is so into wanting grandchildren! :rolleyes: In fact, literally, the day I got married, she asked me at the reception when to expect grandchildren! :eek: Uh...I don't think so!! :rolleyes:
It really can be quite pressuresome, especially if you're really not considering the idea at the moment. I sometimes feel like it's something expected of me because I'm married, but I don't think that's enough reason for me to have a kid. If we do make that decision later on down the road, that's cool, and like you said, it would be a gift from God. It would probably be God's plan for me to have them. If I choose not to have kids, that's fine too. Even though I'm 26, I still feel too young, and I still want to have my freedom to explore what I want to do in life, after all, I'm still not so sure!
Right now I don't even have time for a dog, so I sure as heck know I don't have time for kids!! Lifestyle and freedom is important for me right now, and I still don't have enough time in a day to do everything I want! :rolleyes: I guess things will fall into place like they should for me in the future, but right now, I'm CBC with ABC!!! LOL (Childless by choice with Animals by choice! LOL LOL ;) )
I hope I haven't offended anyone. That is not my intention. I have respect for both points of view:)
hehe sorry but that wasn't supposed to be interpreted as a quested, just simply my thoughts on children, and believe you me I totally agree with you!!!Quote:
Originally posted by jenluckenbach
the only way any one could answer this is from their own perspective. Your life WILL change, and if you are not willing to accept those changes, then THAT would be a "down side".
enough said or this thread WILL become controversial
I could be happy either way....with a couple kids or tons of pets! You don't loose either way lol.
WOW Karen.....
You totally are living my life on the complete opposite side of the US!;)
HA.... that is so me right now too!!!Quote:
Right now I don't even have time for a dog, so I sure as heck know I don't have time for kids!!
I have always wanted a siberian husky soooooooooooooooo bad Eric wants a dog too someday but I have NO time for a dog. Me and Eric both work at Nestle and from April through to December they work me six days a week and Eric seven... ten hour days... and with school too we don't have any time for each other either. One day though I WILL HAVE A DOG.... !!!!!!!!! And neglecting a dog is terrible but even more terrible to neglect children!
Thank God for the less independant animal.... THE CAT!:D :D
Wow, Sara, this could have been me writing this. People don't realize how hurtful the "sideways glances" and the "oh WHEN you have kids" comments really are. I guess it's all about walking a mile in another's shoes...:rolleyes:Quote:
Originally posted by Sara luvs her Tinky
But sometimes it is kind of hard on me because family is always asking me when we are going to have kids and it is kind of hurtful but...
Hee, hee, hee .... just wait, you'll find out. ;)Quote:
What downsides are there of having children?
You have a fifteen month old? Ahhhh, yes .... all the "downsides" are still to come, believe me!!!!
Not that I would trade my son for everything in the world, but kids can be a pain in the rear when they get older. They get expensive, smart-mouthed and rebellious ..... and I don't even have a true teenager yet! And that's a GOOD kid I'm talking about .... some of them get a LOT worse.
I know, I know ..... you're thinking "Not MY kid! I will NEVER let that happen! He'll be the perfect child." Oooookey, dokey .... let us know in about eleven years, ok? ;) I said the same things, ALL parents did.
Not trying to rain on your parade or anything ... but EVERYTHING in life has a downside. Nothing is perfect. Want a new car? The downside is car payments and higher insurance. Want a new puppy? The downside is housetraining, chewed up couches and vet bills. Want a kid? The downside is the potential for a lot of tears, heartache and problems.
I love kids too, but I don't have any.
as for the traveling, it depends on how you handle it, I have a brother and sister in law that with 2 young children could just pack them and their stuff in a car, and drive 8-10 hours with no problem, the kids had their music, little kids songs on tape that they sang with and then they would sleep most of the way. they had snacks.too.
another brother and his family, it was the total opposite, they would arrive and were so stressed out, the kids were cranky, and they took forever to unpack the car, it looked like they were moving in!
Richard, you ARE a riot! the vlucan touch, LOL
my mom had a certain look, a look that could turn you to stone!
I mean it, once she gave me that look, I KNEW if I didn't stop right then that was IT!
I was a brat, one day when I was around 12, she told me to clean my room or something, and I answered back, well she said oh fine don't then and wait til your father gets home(she did not often say that, especially since my dad spoiled me lol) well I made the near fatal mistake of saying oh ha ha, you have to say wait til dad is home, you can't do anything yourself!
really stupid comment on my part.
1/2 second later I was on the ground getting my mouth slapped!
:eek:
I am glad a parent said this !!!!! I wanted to but I'd have been "THAT PERSON WITH NO KIDS".Quote:
Originally posted by Twisterdog
, but kids can be a pain in the rear when they get older. They get expensive, smart-mouthed and rebellious ..... and I don't even have a true teenager yet! And that's a GOOD kid I'm talking about .... some of them get a LOT worse.
I know, I know ..... you're thinking "Not MY kid! I will NEVER let that happen! He'll be the perfect child." Oooookey, dokey .... let us know in about eleven years, ok? ;) I said the same things, ALL parents did.
Not trying to rain on your parade or anything ... but EVERYTHING in life has a downside. Nothing is perfect.
I agree! When most people find out I'm getting married, their next question is "so, when are you having children?" !!! Did it ever occur to anyone, that maybe we don't want children right now?! And then if you say no, you get these looks from people and it is hurtful.Quote:
Originally posted by Cookiebaker
Wow, Sara, this could have been me writing this. People don't realize how hurtful the "sideways glances" and the "oh WHEN you have kids" comments really are. I guess it's all about walking a mile in another's shoes...:rolleyes:
I was sixteen and a half when I had my son (unplanned and I was in a whole lot of trouble......long story, for now suffice to say it was 1962 and the so called swinging sixties/free love stuff was not even close to starting in my town!:D) Anyways, do I regret having him? No way? I am so proud of my boy and without him I wouldn`t have the two beautiful grandchildren, who I love very much.
As for people who do not want children I say that I respect and understand how you feel and I totally admire you for not giving in to pressure to have them. Same goes for anyone who wants to wait a while, I think that is so wise, if I do have a regret it is that I had my son at such a young and unsettled age without any security and stability, life would have been a lot easier and happier if.... but there you go, no good dwelling on ifs is there.:)
The people who really tear at my heart are those who so want children and, for whatever reason, cannot. My daughter-in-law took eight years to concieve our Dannielle, my second grandaughter, and no-one could work out the problem. It was breaking her heart, and some people didn`t make it easier by saying how she already had Lianne and so should be grateful, sorry, but it doesn`t work that way.
chris
Quote:
Originally posted by Twisterdog
Hee, hee, hee .... just wait, you'll find out. ;)
You have a fifteen month old? Ahhhh, yes .... all the "downsides" are still to come, believe me!!!!
Not that I would trade my son for everything in the world, but kids can be a pain in the rear when they get older. They get expensive, smart-mouthed and rebellious ..... and I don't even have a true teenager yet! And that's a GOOD kid I'm talking about .... some of them get a LOT worse.
I know, I know ..... you're thinking "Not MY kid! I will NEVER let that happen! He'll be the perfect child." Oooookey, dokey .... let us know in about eleven years, ok? ;) I said the same things, ALL parents did.
Not trying to rain on your parade or anything ... but EVERYTHING in life has a downside. Nothing is perfect. Want a new car? The downside is car payments and higher insurance. Want a new puppy? The downside is housetraining, chewed up couches and vet bills. Want a kid? The downside is the potential for a lot of tears, heartache and problems.
All of what you said is common sense. I never said he was perfect, nor will he be when he gets older. I raised my brother and sister since I was 9 and believe me they are a MAJOR pain in the arse!!! But I never said nor would I say something like that because it's just not what happens.
Of course I am *hoping* and praying he won't turn out to be a drug dealer or something but every parent wished the best for their child.
He is just now starting to become independent and yes there are many a times when I feel like exploding from constant temper tantrums etc, but he's growing and to me I can't be mad at him because he doesn'tknow what he is doing yet. Once he knows I will start showing my "rath" lol. :p
Ah yes and even if you already have a child that doesn't stop them! My step dad kept drilling me for another baby only a few weeks after I had DYlan!!!:eek: :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally posted by neko1
I agree! When most people find out I'm getting married, their next question is "so, when are you having children?" !!! Did it ever occur to anyone, that maybe we don't want children right now?! And then if you say no, you get these looks from people and it is hurtful.
I mean come on, lol!
People used to look at me like I had a third eye growing out of my forehead when I would say I didn't want kids. And guys were ok with it when we were 1st dating, but when it got serious, then it changed to maybe we should think about it. NO! My husband and I had to completely agree on this before I would agree to marry him and we've no regrets.Quote:
agree! When most people find out I'm getting married, their next question is "so, when are you having children?" !!! Did it ever occur to anyone, that maybe we don't want children right now?! And then if you say no, you get these looks from people and it is hurtful.
Three years ago I had a hysterectomy and now I don't get those looks anymore like they think I'm a freak.
Now I get the pity looks. I think I hate that even more!:mad:
Then I have to explain that I didn't want any in the first place.
So complicated. :rolleyes:
BTW - I am really enjoying this thread!
Quote:
Originally posted by marysmerrycats
well I made the near fatal mistake of saying oh ha ha, you have to say wait til dad is home, you can't do anything yourself!
really stupid comment on my part.
1/2 second later I was on the ground getting my mouth slapped!
:eek:
and that's what made you the rotten, mean person you are today?;)
my mom told me once (clean it up for the prudes and innocents out there) ......just because you can go to bed with someone and get them pregnant does not make you a parent or a father....
true enough, after seeing some bozos who know that you put 'tab a' into 'slot b' ........it's the truth.
it's a mindset and a devotion of your life towards your kid's life.
getting your ass kicked by your parents isn't the 'crime' that people make it out to be...I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ABUSE...
i'm talking about taking a crack on the keister for being a smart ass, doing something you ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO....
if enough kids learned by the 'once burnt, twice shy' method of parenting, we'd have half the probs in the world today.....
btw.....mary, i like rotten mean women....they are dangerous!;)
But there is a difference between "getting your ass kicked" and being disciplined. I was hit as a child (with implements) and both my parents and I agree that it wasn't the way to go. It created a lot of turmoil in our lives that has taken a while to get over. There are other, more effective ways of disciplining kids than by losing control and hitting them while you're angry.