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I was fortunate to meet Ralph when I was 18, but it took me til I was almost 22 to realize what I was overlooking.
I can think of three examples off the top of my head that are later in life realtionships. First, i girl I work with is getting married for the first time this May...she is 35. Second, a good friend of mine has been divorced for 15 years. She swore up and down she would NEVER do it again. Last October she ran into a old college buddy, someone she hadn't seen in 20 years, who was more recently divorced. Within two months they were talking amrriage. Although no date has been set, he just moved into the house they purchased together this past weekend (she will move in when she sells her house and wedding plans are made.
Finally, a little over a year ago, my best freind's grandfather died. Her grandmother was at her wedding ( me freind's) a few weeks ago, with her new husband. They were like teenagers!!! After knowing them since I was in grade school, it was weird to see her with someone else, but great to see an older couple find such happiness.
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A little spare tire doesn't offend me, but i need to be with a guy who is in similar shape as myself, and not about to drop dead going up a flight of stairs. :)
I am not the 'thinnest' person either, but would like to lose 10 lbs and have done so before. But you are right, it's what's on the INSIDE that counts! I once dated a guy that was into lifting weights and stuff, he was pretty but dumber than a bag of bricks! LOL. I almost drowned right in front of him, and was screaming all sorts of obscenities and it took him waaaaay too long to figure out what was going on. LoLoL the irony was funny too, I just broken up with my ex who was a certified lifeguard. I think the universe was trying to tell me something.
LoLoLOl. I think the MOST important thing is mutual attraction, without it it ain't gonna happen. ;)
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Yeah, there does have to be some sort of attraction for something to happen. Sometimes it comes later than sooner, though. But still, I'm a big believer in the idea that there has to be some magic and butterfly feelings at the get go.
But that doesn't mean they need to be built like Brad Pitt for that to happen.
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I'm here to tell you that MOST military men are not abusers. I'm married to an Army vet and Mike would rather commit a crime than to hit me. In fact, he's more likely to beat the living hell out of a man who abuses a woman. I believe cops are the same way. Yes, there are a few bad seeds out there that give the rest a bad name, but they are in the definite minority. I would NOT have married Mike though if he had still been in the military simply because I don't want my husband away from me for months at a time. My sister is married to a former Marine and she has lived the vast majority of her life that way. Her husband would go out on floats for months at a time and she would be home raising their 2 boys by herself...not a life that I would ever choose. I have the utmost respect for our military personel because they put their lives on the line for the rest of us so we can sit here and post on Pet Talk and say whatever we feel without fear of retribution.
Lalania, you will find the perfect fit sometime, and until then, HAVE FUN! I know I did. I enjoyed my single days with no commitments, and I thoroughly enjoy my married life now. I think I do enjoy it so much because I got my party days out of my system and was ready to settle down. Before I was married, going to bars/clubs meant dancing, laughing, checking out the scenery. Now, all I think about is...do I really want to go and smell like a smoke stack when I leave! lol How times change! You'll have a great time!
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Of course most servicemen/cops are great people who do not abuse others, but even in the best of situations there is a lifestyle attributed to it that needs to truly be considered, abuse statistics aside.
However, I don't think the military is responsible for me being able to say what I want on PetTalk. That would be Karen and Paul's doing. There are lots of countries (such as NZ, where I am now) that have freedom of speech, it would be good to remember that.
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I'm not saying that other countries don't have freedom of speech, but you have to admit that MOST countries do not have the same rights that we as Americans do. And for that, I thank the men and women who serve or served in the military who fought or are fighting to keep those freedoms. As for posting as we please on Pet Talk, Karen and Paul are allowed to give us that freedom because of the men and women who fought and some died so that we could retain that freedom. I'm sorry, but I am pro military. My family has a long proud history of serving our country. I had one uncle who died in the Civil War fighting for what he believed was right.
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Lalania, I'm almost 40 and I've never been married. I think my longest relationship was about 2 years and that was an on again off again kind of relationship. I also lived with one boyfriend and I learned a lot of things from my mistakes. Now I've stopped looking for Mr. Right and I just live for me and my 3 cats. I figure if I'm meant to have a partner in life then it will happen and if not then it won't. Since I'm not used to having a boyfriend, I really don't miss it. Good luck but please take your time. :)
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I grew up as an only child with one parent, and sometimes it was kinda hard. I guess I don't want to end up alone like my mom, my friend who is also 40 (she is miserable about it) and like, a ton of other people I know. I am sick of spending 1 or 2 years with some guy only to have it end, I guess that's the risk you take in life. Blah.
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It is better to find a way to be happy with yourself, first, I believe. That way, when you have the blessing of just the right partner, it is an added gift. I believe the people who have found the most happiness, single or married, are those who are comfortable with themselves first. I was there.......happy with my life, alone, and then things have changed for the better. I can certainly understand your feelings about the 1-2 year relationships......being built up, then disappointed.
We have great examples of both kinds here on Pet Talk, many who are so content and happy alone, and those who found the right person to share their life with. I wish only the best things for you.
Logan
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Lalania -
My aunt is nearly fifty and is single with no children. I think she was quite depressed about this for some time, until my mother suggest she consider focusing her energies on their aging parents. So, now she cares for them and has found a sort of purpose and meaning in that.
Not that you have to do anything like that, but I think it's about finding something to fill that void. Being single is actually quite liberating in the sense that you don't have to plan your life around anyone else. You can travel, you can move, you can make a drastic career change without having to consult anyone. Enjoy it! And if you still feel something is missing, there is no limits on how to let people into your life.
