So stressed - can't pay rent *Update* A Little Good News About Health Issues*

Firstly i want to re-assure you, don't feel bad for posting your paypal address, when in need ,one has to ask, if people can and want to they will help,sometimes you just have to ask.

Also you sure don't have to justify to me anyhow or anyone IMO, why you are unable to take on any more work, i think you are doing great considering your health issues, back pain is the pitts, and i do know a fellow sufferer here too.

And sweetheart just have that good cry, bawl your eyes out if you need to, it will release some of the tension you are feeling right now.

Good luck with your tests, i hope they have a good outcome,and that they don't add to your troubles right now.

I had a thought, and wondered if any PTer's here might want to contribute to a food parcel for you and your pets, maybe if everyone who could ,donated one item of food and sent it to you, I don't know if it would work, or anyone wants to do that,but it is just a thought.

Again here for you . HUGS:love:.

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Originally Posted by carole

Firstly i want to re-assure you, don't feel bad for posting your paypal address, when in need ,one has to ask, if people can and want to they will help,sometimes you just have to ask.

Also you sure don't have to justify to me anyhow or anyone IMO, why you are unable to take on any more work, i think you are doing great considering your health issues, back pain is the pitts, and i do know a fellow sufferer here too.

And sweetheart just have that good cry, bawl your eyes out if you need to, it will release some of the tension you are feeling right now.

Good luck with your tests, i hope they have a good outcome,and that they don't add to your troubles right now.

I had a thought, and wondered if any PTer's here might want to contribute to a food parcel for you and your pets, maybe if everyone who could ,donated one item of food and sent it to you, I don't know if it would work, or anyone wants to do that,but it is just a thought.

Again here for you . HUGS:love:.

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You are just too kind seriously. I can't wait till I get out of work, I'm not feeling so much like crying at the moment I just exhausted.

I want to be hard worker believe me and I don't want my back stopping me but more and more even though I lost 65 lbs. so far since last March (the doctors told me even if I lose more weight it's not going to help my structure problem but overall health it will help) so I'm trying there.

Luckly, before I found out about my husband's check I got some food from the vets, so I have a full un-opened bag of the I/D Hills food for the little guy (he's the only one that eats that so that will take him a few months hopefully), then the C/D Hills, Ashley and Sebastian eat and I'm getting low on the 10-lb. bag and the rest of my guys eat the California Natural Chicken and Brown rice food, I've called them for coupons before but they told me they only do 1 coupon per household. I think that's a bit silly because Purnia will give me 3 cat litter coupons for $2 off which always helps.

I can check the local food bank for food right now I think we will be ok for a little while we def. have food in the cupboards so we can do the P&J's we of course will make sure our kitties have food no matter what and fresh water.

Thank you for your kind words,
Melissa

Another *HUG* for you! I hate being in that loop of not having enough to get by but having too much for any type of help. My food stamps are what keeps me afloat every month and I am so glad that I qualify! To me that seems the easiest thing to qualify for, at least around here. Don't know what its like in your state tho.

*BIGHUGS* and prayers on the way!:love:

about coupons.. and I´ve done it.. you can ask if you can get them sent to neighbors or relatives.. then you can collect them ;)

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Originally Posted by Anikaca77

the rest of my guys eat the California Natural Chicken and Brown rice food, I've called them for coupons before but they told me they only do 1 coupon per household.

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Call and pretend you are me, and when they send the coupons here, I can send them along to you! As I am terribly allergic to kitties, it is not like I'd ever need them myself! If you want, I can PM you my address, no problem, and anything else they ask!

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Originally Posted by Karen

Call and pretend you are me, and when they send the coupons here, I can send them along to you! As I am terribly allergic to kitties, it is not like I'd ever need them myself! If you want, I can PM you my address, no problem, and anything else they ask!

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Same here Melissa. If you want you can give my address and I'll send them to you. Just PM me if you want to do it.

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Originally Posted by pomtzu

Melissa - a part time job isn't always the answer anyway, so maybe it's just as well that you can't do it. It's a quick temporary fix for the present, but hardly a long time cure, and you would find that out next year when you filed your taxes. My ex always insisted we needed the extra money (we didn't), and he always worked a part time job in addition to his full time one. And every year it screwed us up and we got much less back on Federal, and ended up paying State. Unless you can find a job that would pay you "under the table", then you could be in the same position you are now.

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For anyone reading this thread, and feeling the pinch in their own household (and, really, who isn't), please note that working a second job(or more hours at your first job) IS the only way to bring more money into your household.

Getting more or less money back from the government is not a 'working 2 jobs' problem, it is not taking enough (or too many) deductions on the form (W-4)you fill out. I have heard that it is recommended that for for your second job, you claim 0 exemptions/dependents so that the highest amount of tax is taken out. That will cover you at the end of the year, and you will still get a refund. (Getting a refund, or a large refund, is a whole 'nother financial discussion).

Melissa- I am not encouraging YOU to get a second job...just don't want anyone that reads this to think there isn't any benefit to getting a second job to help you get out from under.

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Originally Posted by Cataholic

For anyone reading this thread, and feeling the pinch in their own household (and, really, who isn't), please note that working a second job(or more hours at your first job) IS the only way to bring more money into your household.

Getting more or less money back from the government is not a 'working 2 jobs' problem, it is not taking enough (or too many) deductions on the form (W-4)you fill out. I have heard that it is recommended that for for your second job, you claim 0 exemptions/dependents so that the highest amount of tax is taken out. That will cover you at the end of the year, and you will still get a refund. (Getting a refund, or a large refund, is a whole 'nother financial discussion).

Melissa- I am not encouraging YOU to get a second job...just don't want anyone that reads this to think there isn't any benefit to getting a second job to help you get out from under.

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I never meant to imply to anyone that there was no benefit to working a second job, but you need to be careful how you go about it. The income can throw you into a higher tax bracket, and in some instances, employers won't have state tax deducted unless you work a specific number of hours, and therefore you end up paying what is owed at tax time. Been there - done that - it's not something I'm making up for the sake of conversation! :(

I've looked at the resuls for your back and I would suggest forgetting about cleaning jobs. My friend cleans houses , paid under the table and it does help but she has no back issues and she still comes home ready to pass out. But if you could get offices to clean those are a lot easier. No heavy work, no floors or windows to wash. Mostly dusting, placing things, and emptying the garbages in the bins. Could you do some baby sitting on your days off? Or dog sitting...we have a lot of people looking for someone to type resumes and such out here, maybe you could try doing that from home? Money under the table is always better than a second job to throw you in a higher tax bracket.

Adult Children of Alcoholic is something I have never heard of. Could you explain please. My dad is an Alcoholic, I made sure I did not marry one.

Here's a link, Marigold: http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/adult/a/aa073097.htm

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Originally Posted by Karen

Call and pretend you are me, and when they send the coupons here, I can send them along to you! As I am terribly allergic to kitties, it is not like I'd ever need them myself! If you want, I can PM you my address, no problem, and anything else they ask!

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Thank you, I didn't know that you were allergic to kitties. Thank you, I will keep that in mind. I did max out my mom's address and so I'll try my sisters, thanks!

Melissa

Wow! I would just like to give everyone who has responded on this thread a HUGE group hug!!! Your warmth, generosity with advice and genuine concern for the original poster is really what makes PT the best in the world.

Thank you for restoring my faith in human nature :love:

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Originally Posted by Marigold2

Adult Children of Alcoholic is something I have never heard of. Could you explain please. My dad is an Alcoholic, I made sure I did not marry one.

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Thanks Catty for posting the other link :)

I found out about this from my shrink that I see. I've been having so many issues with my husband and just started to see a new lady in the beginning of Feb. and about 2 sessions ago she brought me an information packet just 2 page (pm me and I can send you the PDF, it's on my work computer but I can send it to you on Monday)

Anyway when I read the 2 pages she gave me it made me cry so bad. I felt that I had every single one.

I read a little more online about this and I did find the website that Catty posted.

here was another article I went to and I took the quiz yesterday. I scored 90% 18 out of 20 questions were and yes and they said I did seem like I was affected by his drinking. It's always been hard to talk about because he would hit my sister and brother but I learned to keep my mouth shut so I wouldn't have to get hit but I feel terribly guilty now for not being able to stop him and protect my brother and sister, yet I'm the youngest and I'm trying to realize that I was just a child and that I couldn't of done anything to prevent that but still it does hurt some.

Anyway here are the other 2 articles.

http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/adult/a/aa110597.htm

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/adult/a/quiz_adult.htm

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Originally Posted by Cataholic

For anyone reading this thread, and feeling the pinch in their own household (and, really, who isn't), please note that working a second job(or more hours at your first job) IS the only way to bring more money into your household.

Getting more or less money back from the government is not a 'working 2 jobs' problem, it is not taking enough (or too many) deductions on the form (W-4)you fill out. I have heard that it is recommended that for for your second job, you claim 0 exemptions/dependents so that the highest amount of tax is taken out. That will cover you at the end of the year, and you will still get a refund. (Getting a refund, or a large refund, is a whole 'nother financial discussion).

Melissa- I am not encouraging YOU to get a second job...just don't want anyone that reads this to think there isn't any benefit to getting a second job to help you get out from under.

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I know you weren't encouraging me to get another job, I've worked 2 jobs in the past just not recently due to the back pain and I just felt like I needed to explain what was going on with my back because anyone and I'm sure a lot of people have back pain and abuse the "government system" because of pain and what not but I guess I just wanted people to know I'm not like that and I'm a hard worker and if need be I will find another job but right now with my back I'm going to look into some other assistance.

Thank you though for your posts and I hope I didn't upset you or anything.
Melissa

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Originally Posted by Asiel

I've looked at the resuls for your back and I would suggest forgetting about cleaning jobs. My friend cleans houses , paid under the table and it does help but she has no back issues and she still comes home ready to pass out. But if you could get offices to clean those are a lot easier. No heavy work, no floors or windows to wash. Mostly dusting, placing things, and emptying the garbages in the bins. Could you do some baby sitting on your days off? Or dog sitting...we have a lot of people looking for someone to type resumes and such out here, maybe you could try doing that from home? Money under the table is always better than a second job to throw you in a higher tax bracket.

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Thanks for the tip, I will look into that. Thanks so much again for your suggestion.

Melissa

ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) is a wonderful group of people who don't have a drinking problem, but live with people who do.

I attended MANY ACOA meetings in my day, along with AA meetings for myself. If you can't afford a therapist, this is one way to help. My Dad was a 24/7 drunk (mellow not abusive). I was his primary care giver after my stepmonster died of alcoholic complications. It took it's toll on me. Especially since I was in recovery myself, it was difficult to see him drink himself to death every day of the week.

Call information and ask for the toll free number of AA. They can refer you to meetings in your area.

Good luck and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you Donna for posting that.

Yesterday at 9 a.m. I arrived for my test and I was stressed a little about it first and I did tell the guy that was going to be testing me that I was a little stressed but he just told me to try to relax and I'm not going to get a grade on this or anything like this.

So we went through several tests some I seemed to do really well on and others not so well.

We started the testing around 9:15 a.m. or earlier and then he had me do a math test and that just sucked because I've always struggled in math and that made me feel semi-crapy that I didn't know some of the math things but I tried my best. Finally it was 11:15 a.m. or so and I was at the last part of my testing which is sitting in front of a computer with a black screen and a letter would pop up at you. The only things is, is when an "X" comes on the screen you are not supposed to hit the space bar, well when you are siting there watching all these numbers fly up and BAM an X shows up and you hit it, man I was so frustrated. I asked if I could redo the test of course not. I wish they would of let me take that test first but maybe there is a reason why they wait till the very end to do that. Needless to say they said that the computer test shows whether or not you have ADD or not. I'm just thinking I was paying attention and I was reading out each letter but yet my silly finger hit the space bar and I was just terribly frustrated by the end of the test.

Luckily I had about 30-45 mins. before I was supposed to get my injection so I came home and hugged some of my kitties trying to calm down after that exhausting morning.

I went for my injection and it was pretty painful but hopefully it will help because he told me that if this doesn't help this time he is not inclined to do another one and that surgery might be it but I'm only 30 years old and I really don't want to do that. I'm just going to hope that this will help and that I will be ok for a while. My knees have been bugging me like crazy though lately and I think it's my arthritis acting up but I have an appt. this coming Wed. to make sure it is just arthritis and not something else but I'm pretty sure it's just that.

I put in a call for some local assistance and hopefully I'll hear back from them on Monday. I'm going to call the landlord and see if we can pay rent on the 9th of April that way it might give us some more time to come up with the money that we need.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and prays, they are very much appreciated.

Melissa

I know that you don't want to think about surgery, but they are starting to do some very innovative types of back surgery down here in Bethesda and up in Philly. You are fortunate right now, because you have time to investigate your options. Hopefully you will never have to make the decision, but at least you will know what the pros and cons are of the different types of surgery...

A prayer and a candle
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/...g&cid=10483305

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Originally Posted by cassiesmom

A prayer and a candle
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/...g&cid=10483305

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Thank you so much.

Well I think I've lost it officially now.

My mind is just in a big mess. I started crying at work this morning, I'm just feeling so stressed and I was super busy when I first came into work and I knew it was going to be this way but I thought in my head that I could keep things calm and cool and I didn't.

I cried. still feel like crying. Yet I'm supposed to go for my lupron shot this coming Thursday. My husband and I are not getting a long and I have no idea what's going to happen with that. Last night I was crying and again today. I really wish money was not such a big thing at times. I'm going to try not to cry for the rest of today.

Melissa

hang in there... this too shall pass..

I know it´s easier saying it than when you are the one going through it.. but we´ll keep you in our thoughts hoping it all gets sorted out ok.. and soon...

I sent you a lil something.. not much but I hope it helps a bit

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Originally Posted by Husky_mom

hang in there... this too shall pass..

I know it´s easier saying it than when you are the one going through it.. but we´ll keep you in our thoughts hoping it all gets sorted out ok.. and soon...

I sent you a lil something.. not much but I hope it helps a bit

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Thank you, I know it shall pass just it doesn't seem to be passing quick enough you know...well hopefully it will soon.

Melissa

Do you have access to counselling through your job? Does your hubby?

Please see someone, hon, even if it is through Emerg.

HUGS!

Awwww sweetie, I'm so sorry. You've just got so much stress. If you can find counselling help please get some. It does wonders. If there is anything I can do to help you please let me know. :love:

It's so tough, Melissa, I know. When I was going through my dark night of the soul, I went out w/a friend and her boyfriend and right in the middle of our conversation, I broke down at the restaurant. I had no money, no job, my divorce was still fresh, I had so many outdoor cats that I was trying to rescue; it looked so bleak. Somehow I made it through. I can't say that anything cataclysmic happened to turn things around; life just kept on going and I kept on going w/it until I passed through it all. Just hold on tight until the boat stops rockin'. We're still praying for you here. :love:

Thank you. I'm feeling semi-better right now. My back still hurts but I've been taking my pain pills but they didn't seem to help my cramping which is why I'm taking the lupron drug in the first place but hopefully the next 2 shots will work wonders.

Thank you all for your kind words. I've been seeing a new therapist since the start of Feb. and she is wonderful and it sucks that I have to pay to see her but I really like her and they won't lower her rate or do a payment plan but I really just don't want to see anyone else at the moment. I've been trying to stay current with her.

Thank you all again for your kind words and support.
melissa

I lit you a candle too, Melissa, which I hope will shed a bit more light to help you get through these dark times.

I'm so sorry you are undergoing such stress. My cats and I are all sending around loads of ~~~~~PURRS~~~~ and {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} for love and easing of fears.

Lots of prayers and loving thoughts to you Melissa. You will get through it and we are all here to help and listen wherever we can. Lots of love to you:love:

Well I just went to a doctor's appt. because back on March 12th I started moving some of my stuff out of our apartment because I thought we (my husband and I) were going to split up and I just moved a bunch of boxes around from the closet in to the dining room area and the next day my back and left knee were killing me.

It did get better by the following Tuesday so I went to the doctor and he thought maybe I had a cyst or something like that behind my knee and he recommended that I see an orthopedic surgeon and I finally had my appt. today even though my left knee is feeling better but it still hurts from time to time and my right knee has been hurting more and more as well.

So the guy came in and we talked and I explained my back issues and what not. They took some knee x-rays right there and he came back in and said he didn't know who told me about having arthritis in my right knee but there isn't anything.

I was so pleased, he showed me the x-rays and said on the left knee there is a very very small bone spure but nothing to worry about and I asked him about my back having influence on my knees and what not and he said he thinks that this is probably where my problem is from and not in the knee.

So it's good news in a way and then the other way it's not so good because my knees have been giving out on me lately which sucks but I can deal with that and the pain hurts but I guess it's just another thing I need to get used to but I'm so pleased there isn't any damage to my knees.

Melissa

Well what was up is looking down but hopefully not for long I hope.

My husband contact this separate work program today and they were of no help at all.

I just want to thank you all who have contributed, it really means a lot and the prays and suggestions mean a lot as well.

Thank you,
Melissa

A candle
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/...g&cid=10504851
and prayers, again...

Hugs,
elyse

Elyse-

Thank you so much!

-Melissa

Today I contacted the community help line that I was told to contact about them helping me but they were not very eager to help out. I don't understand. I explained the situation but he's like you can make payments to them so that sounds like you guys can make it.

I'm just thinking apparently he doesn't understand some things or something but at least I tried.

Melissa