I've been where you are now. When I lost Duke, I about had a nervous breakdown. But I didn't seek counseling, which was stupid. I hope it helps you. I wish for you great strength for today. You've got a lot of support here to help you.
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I've been where you are now. When I lost Duke, I about had a nervous breakdown. But I didn't seek counseling, which was stupid. I hope it helps you. I wish for you great strength for today. You've got a lot of support here to help you.
You have been through a lot and are dealing with so many different things. Right now it is natural to be on the verge of tears all the time. I hope that the counseling will help you to deal with everything and help you move past this difficult time. Many thoughts of comfort and support being sent your way.
I am glad that you made this decision. Remember it took you awhile to reach this point to leave, so please do not expect your feelings to "be gone" right away. It will take awhile to work through everything (even with help). But Catty1 has a good idea, unfortunately there are plenty of other people who have been (or are in) a similar situation, so it might be helpful to talk with them.
Gentle hugs and curl up with the furry ones when you get home tonight...
Counseling will help you to relieve yourself of all the things that need saying, if nothing else but, hopefully, you'll find a counselor who will do more than just listen. Whatever the case may be, know that every day you're a little bit closer to getting better. :)
Ok, I'm really proud of myself. I went after work today and bought a tv and cable box. I've never been allowed to set them up before so was quite intimidated by the whole thing. But guess what!!!! I did it!!! I am now watching tv, it all works. I did it all by myself!!! This is just the positive thing I needed to happen. If I can do this on my own, what's next.
Anyways I think in my lack of sleep mind I've gone just goofy and the sadness can only return. But right now I'm relishing in my success.
Stay strong, you are doing well.
The sadness will come and go - but each time will be shorter and more distant from the last time.
This too shall pass . . . . . . .
See :D This is perhaps a symbol of your FREEDOM to live YOUR life the way you want :) :love: Keep it going!
Nice to hear of your accomplishment.
I had a flat on the interstate and changed it myself yesterday, and my glasses broke today. Just scary because nobody has 'got my back' now.
We sound like we both have a lot of figuring out how to do things.
{{{{hugs}}}}}
Oh, Rose - ZenniOptical.com has glasses very inexpensively! Even with my difficult prescription, (astigmatic and myopic different in each eye) I paid less than $20 for a pair! Just have fun looking at the different styles and have a ball!
Gayle, good for you. We are all very proud of you!
Stop it!Quote:
Originally Posted by rosethecopycat
When you have get "your own back" it forces you to keep spinning around trying to see what is sneaking up on you.
Take a second when you do, and look at what you have not seen in the past.
Eff yeah, It's scary-but it's nothing that will drag you down if you take your time and look at every challenge as something that you will meet head on and beat.
Check it out.
Two things to add to your resumes?
I CAN hook up a TV set....
I CAN change a flat tire....
Don't back away from challenges and don't ever think you cannot.
You can.
It's alot more fun without the AH looking over your shoulder whispering in your ear that you cannot do it.
When you both start changing oil filters and spark plugs don't stop there.
It a huge effing world.;)
Well done, Rose AND Gayle! I'm so impressed by both of you and your strength.
Good going Rose!!! Excellent news of the tire, sorry about the glasses. It is a scary world out there when you've always had "back up". One thing I'm beginning to see now is more things seem to be going right rather than wrong. I'm having more successes than failures. It's great not to have someone chirping that I'm too stupid to do this, too dumb to do that, etc. You're doing great Rose, keep going sweetie.
Thank you Karen,Quote:
Originally Posted by Karen
As it is, my new glasses were ordered last Monday. They just haven't arrived yet. I can't see a thing within 3 ft of me for the time being.
I am saving the link you gave me, a lot of my friends are suffering with mid age eyesight problems and costs as well.
Gayle and Rose, this thread is so inspiring. I feel every heartache you both feel. Both of you, keep on keeping the faith and you will have brighter days ahead. Alot of what you're feeling is total fear of the future and uncertainty. Both of you are finding out you can do things without help.
Keep on keeping on ladies!!! That new life is going to be so fantastic!!!! One day soon, you'll both be so glad you got shed of those toxic people in your lives. You are both good people and don't either of you forget it. Neither of you have done anything wrong. It was the guys you had that were all wrong for you. This brings back alot of memories for me.
My biggest success was joining a support group. I was able to network with people like me. We had so much fun together. I always left a session feeling on top of the world. It made me a new person. All my feelings of worthlessness disappeared. It took time to heal but I did and I'm able to talk about it today. Hugs to both of you. Happiness is right around the corner.:)
Queen of Poop and Rose the Copycat, I have lighted a candle for you and for D&D, Medusa and everyone else who has provided encouraging words:
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/...eng&gi=pet%20t
for Gayle and Rose, with thanks for others on PT who have been in the same situation and offered encouragement
But I think I should have made it with thanks for everyone on PT who offered encouragement, whether in the same situation or not. Sorry, everyone :o
awww hun I'm so sorry... the sadness will be there for a while. it's a change in life for you.
BUT... soon you will look forward to coming home to your OWN place wher eyou can do whatever you want... dance aroudn NAKED if you want to. eat peanut butter or ice cream out of the tub... drink milk from the carton... watch a totally cheesy chick flick... sit in the bathtub for 2 hours reading a great book or just laying there by candle light listening to some wonderful music. WHATEVER you want.
And snuggle with ALL of your babies in bed whenever... THEY want lol.
It's hard now and I can't even begin to imagine what you are feeling... but it will not always be this way. HUGS and best wishes for the hard times... and just keep looking forward to your new future... it's limitless :)
Thank you, Elyse. :) You are a doll. :)
Please remember that we are stronger then can you can ever imagine. Right now it is scary, but as time goes on and you do more and more without someone trying to "step on you", you will gain the confidence.
God made us strong to survive (did you notice men don't have the babies :rolleyes:). The time will soon come when you will wonder why you weren't doing these things before.
Stay strong!
Thanks again for all the encouragement everyone. Trying to take it day by day. Really down in the dumps this morning though. Just very, very sad. Found the anniversary card he had given me at the end of July for our 8th wedding anniversary. Can't figure how things went so wrong since then. Or was the card just a ruse. I dont' know, it's bothering me and I know I should let it go.
Rose, how are you doing today? Did you get your new glasses?
Dearest Gayle...didn't things go wrong long before that? The post you sent several years ago from California? {{{{hugs}}}}
I think he meant the card...but he is very sick and very dangerous. Remember that, hon. Put on your running shoes and KEEP RUNNING! ;):love::love:
Things went wrong way before that. I was so very stupid for so very long. Should have tossed him the first time he hit me, before I married him. I'm much smarter now, took 8 years to get here but I am NOT turning back. Talked with the divorce lawyer this morning, we will be serving him with papers very soon.Quote:
Originally Posted by Catty1
Okay, I think everyone needs to read this :D
THE BOTTLE OF WINE
For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
'What in bag?' asked the old woman .
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
'Good trade.....
Thanks for making me laugh. That doesn't happen much these days.
Here's a housewarming gift, Gayle...I saw these in Kensington yesterday and almost fell over! :eek:
http://www.gettheex.com/
Gayle, the similarities in our situations are uncanny. I am so sorry that you were ever struck, even once. Nobody deserves that. Ever.Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of Poop
That is the only thing my husband has proven consistent and true. He was never violent.
I too, have been in deep, deep despair.
I too, found a anniversary card.
May I read it?
Sometimes when I look at you I can't believe you're mine.
I still feel the same excitement that I did when we first met.
And I know that no matter what happens, that spark will always be there.
It's so wonderful to know that sharing love with the same person doesn't have to get old or boring, that it can keep getting better and stronger all the time.
And it's wonderful to know that I share that kind of love with you...
and always will.
(in his own hand follows)
Happy 10'th Anniversary
Rose!
I love you forever.
That was 18 months ago.
Now, those are all the reasons he's siting that he wants to leave. Oh, and yeah, I forgot, now he wants kids. (I'm 48)
What kind of man, if he never felt like that card says, goes into a store, picks that card out and thinks: yeah, that's the card I'll give her!
At the end of July, he joined the Army National Guard Reserve (at the age of 39) to secure health insurance (for me)
It was a lifeline as my health premium was $1000 a month, for me alone.
Soon I will have no coverage, RA as a preexisting condition and no hope of paying the premium as I am severely underemployed now.
My nagging question is: why would he join the Guard if he was so unhappy with me?
Somewhere around that time, I think that other woman entered the picture. She is married as well, getting a divorce.
She is a predator.
I too am asking myself how things could go so wrong since then.
Gayle, I hope you can at the very least can feel some relief, and some safety now. I know you're going to feel all the other things too, like,
grief, sorrow, anger, despair and the feeling like you are on the verge of tears for sometime to come.
I pray you have some support system in family and friends.
I know how important connecting with people is, as I don't have any family, and am completely alone. No parents, no children, no brothers or sisters, no aunts or uncles.
PT folks, just imagine if everyone you have contact with was suddenly gone.
Please reach out to your loved ones, and work on your relationships.
As mine didn't deserve any work, I guess.
Rose:(
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosethecopycat
Oh Rose I wish I could reach out across the miles and give you a great big hug. I've been contacting those women with whom I was friends before that wasn't allowed any more. They've been great, telling me it's about time I took out the trash. I also have my parents total support and they're providing me the funds to divorce him. I don't know why either of our men did what they did, but they don't deserve us (can you tell I'm having a good day today???). We are too good for them. You're a good, decent person, you will find a way thru this difficult time and come out smelling like (guess what??) a Rose. Hang in there girl, I'm with you all the way. We can do this. I will PM you my direct email address. If you ever need to chat we can go that way.
Rose and Gayle, I am thinking of you this evening and hoping you'll have had a good day.
((((HUGS)))))
elyse
I was good until late this afternoon. Now I'm a wimpering fool. I don't want to feel all sad and all after having a good day. It's just washed over me. Think I'll go to bed soon to escape it.
Gayle and Rose:::::it seems impossible but you can do this!!! Stick to your guns.......be strong!!! The other life that's coming is so much better. One day the sadness will be gone.
Staying in touch with each other is fantastic. What a great support system.
Gayle i wish you all the very best, and hope that your move will indeed be a good one for you and all will go well, you have been through some tough times and I can only hope for you to have a very happy ,content and safe life from now on.
Remember it is perfectly normal to grieve for something you have lost, even if it wasn't how it should be, it is what you knew and i am sure there were plenty of good times as well, but the bad times usually outweigh the good,just take each day as it comes, and know that in time you will feel happy again and secure within yourself.
Rose reading your post brought tears to my eyes, i can feel and understand you pain also, just know we are all here for you both and thinking of you and extremely proud of you both, HUGS to both of you.
Thanks all for the support. Good to read thru all of this today. Had a great day yesterday but started going downhill last night and continues on the downward plunge today. Guess that's going to be the norm for a while. More emotional rollercoaster action.
Yes, dear, but the good thing about THIS rollercoaster is that the hills get smaller after a while, and then you DO get to get off! :)
We are all pulling for ya! :)
I have a relative(don't want to say who right now)that is going through a similar situation. This thread is so close to what's happening. It is serving as a great help to me to help with advice and continue to encourage pushing forward.
Gayle and Rose......HUGS to both of you again. You can do this!!!
Adding some prayers and hugs to this thread for Gayle and Rose.
As Karen said, the hills will get shorter and not be so lonely or frightening.
Just wait until you both are able to fly - and that will happen. I hope we can share in your joy when it comes.
:love::love:
I hope you are doing better today. I am still thinking of you and your pets and hoping things are going as well as they can.
I hope you're all doing better, too. Any new small step?? We're here for you!
QOP-
I have not been on for a very long time, but I did get the gist of what has happened with you and I think you are being a strong woman. It takes alot of courage to make the decision to do what you did. I think it makes you a stronger person to stand up and so no more also. Just remember that the PTers are always here for you. :)
It sounds like the kitties are gunna have fun at that kennel.hehehe
I'm doing ok. Going thru the anger phase now. No more crying. Remembering all the awful things and that's giving me the strength to carry on.
Kitties are so relaxed these days it's just funny. They just flop down on the floor and have a napper if needed. And to watch Cali play with the mousie toys I got, hilarious. They're adjusting well. Diego curled up on my lap last night and purred up a storm, he's such a love.
Our kitties truly are a blessing, aren't they? When I was at my worst emotionally, just to hear them scuffling on the other side of the door as I was coming home from work, made my heart swell. I'm so glad that you have your furkids to comfort you. :love: