Kinda nervous about tomorrow

I called in for a script for Lunesta. That is some weird stuff. I felt like I was asleep in a way, but I was awake, and yet, I couldn't make myself move. It was really freaky. I kept thinking of that old film "The Serpent and the Rainbow", where they have that sleeping dust stuff, and they're unable to move or speak or whatever, lol. That's what it felt like. I'm gonna give the Ambien another shot. Maybe I just need to be overly tired for it to work again.


SO, it's 5:15am, and I've been awake since 3:15am. I made breakfast, apple pancakes. Took a shower, exfoliated my face with a new face scrub, used a new shampoo and conditioner that is supposed to be invigorating, lol, and even had some nice, new, fresh and fluffy towels ready and waiting for me.

Now I just need to do some makeup, get dressed in work clothes and get there early. The building opens at 6am, so I think I'll get there about 6:30am and allow myself that extra time to just relax and get ready for the day. Maybe I'll stop at Panera Bread and get a house latte while I'm out early, I dunno. I want a hot cocoa with a shot of espresso... that used to totally hit the spot, but the Moravian Book Shop isn't open this early. Guess I'll have to hit Thursdays and have a virtual one!

I think I'm ready for today. Closing eyes and breathing deep!

Good luck, Jenn. You'll be fine. =]

Lots of love and support from me and my frozen furkids in Wisconsin... ;)

I hope you make it today! In case you don't, maybe you could do a 'dry run'? Go to work after the busy hours? Maybe just tour the place, and see a few people, get some of the newness out of the way?

Your in my thoughts today.

Come on Jennie! You can do it!! I will use my mind powers to help you through the day. :)
Well, it's 10:30 there now, so hopefully you are at work and getting back into the groove of things.

I made it! I'm here!

I've been here since 6:15am, lol! 2 hrs early, but it's all good.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Taz_Zoee

Come on Jennie! You can do it!! I will use my mind powers to help you through the day. :)
Well, it's 10:30 there now, so hopefully you are at work and getting back into the groove of things.

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In keeping w/Taz_Zoee's post, look into my Specs eyes. He says "All hail Specs! Fear my powers! Please...." If you find yourself getting ready to panic, just look at this pic. LOL :love:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jenn_librarian

I made it! I'm here!

I've been here since 6:15am, lol! 2 hrs early, but it's all good.

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Woo Hoo!! You've made it over that hurdle. Now nothing can stop you!! :D
Hang in there!! :)

Mary, love the pic of Specs. LOL

hallelujah!!!!!

That's great!!!

Good for you, Jennie!!!! That's the hardest part for me. Once I'm there, I'm okay. Let us know how you're doing. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
YOU GO GIRL!!!:)

I hope things went well today.

More BIG HUGS!

I hope you have more good days Jennie! *HUGS*

I'm sorry I didn't see this post until just now. :( I haven't been on much this past week. I hope that today went really well!! It is so great that despite all that happened the day before, you got yourself ready and made it there. That is awesome.
Not sleeping makes everything so much harder and I hope that you will be able to get a good rest tonight. I've been having trouble sleeping for a week or so and ended up going to the health food store and got a holistic sleep aid. Has stuff in it like wild lettuce and other weird things. The tablets smell awful but they really work. Sleep is so important and I hope that you will be able to get some soon.
I'm sure the anxiety of the first day back was keeping you up but now that you made it back to work, I hope you will feel less stressed. I can imagine that the first day back was scary. It's almost like starting a new job, the first day is always the hardest. I hope that people were supportive and welcoming today. Even if the day itself wasn't great, give yourself a big HUG because you DID IT!!! It's over and I hope each day gets a bit easier. {{HUGS}}

hope things are going well!

I'm back again this AM. 2 hrs early again, lol. I wasn't really nervous this AM, I just had slept 6hrs and couldn't sleep any longer, so I got up again and just got ready. Listened to talk radio, then decided I'll just stop for OJ and I needed tissues for school, so ran into Walgreens on my way to work.

Some of the comments I got yesterday were really funny. I have a group of girls that are just too darn sweet, and too darn mature for their ages in 7th grade. They came barreling up to me when I had lunch duty (woooot! not!), and practially knocked me over. Then they proceded to ask whether I had been "chillin at home wit your man". Ummmmm.... unless my man is short and furry, nope!! The other, was of course I expected this one, had I gone out really early and not told anyone that I was pregnant. Um... again, no. You have to be having sex for that to happen, and that hasn't happened for, geez... don't remind me how long, lol. (I didn't say THAT to the kids though, don't worry!!!)

So, the kids were great, most of the teachers were great, although there were some who had NO IDEA that I was even out. Granted they are in the other end of the building, but GEEZ!!! Do you read the announcements where it says who is out? Do you notice when there is a strange person in the building that you've never seen before? Do you go to the library? (I guess we know THAT answer). But, the people that matter made it known that they were glad I am back and that they missed me.

The one comment that I got that made me teary, and I wanted to beat him for it, was my friend John. He's one of our custodians, and he asked how I was doing (after giving me a hug to take the wind out of me), and he says "Who do you love? Come on, who do you love?" and the thing is, he doesn't want you to say you love him (well, I lie, yes he does, lol), but he wants you to admit that you love yourself. That you are number one in your life. It's hard to say it. It's really hard for me to say it. I put so many other people first, but I know that I do have to put me first. I love John for keeping me balance like that, he's really a great friend.

Anyway, those are just some of the things from day 1. Day 2 is here, and I'm ready to go. Glad it is friday, because tonight I'm going to relax, have some pizza and maybe start writing down why I love teaching, and also why I should love me. What those other people told me why they were happy I was back, and how much they care about me. It is good to know, and a very reassuring feeling.

So.... that's all for now. Gonna get ready for kids coming in about an hour, so will do some reading and straightening up until then.

Glad things went well yesterday. Here is to another good day!

Keep hanging in there, Jennie!! You're giving me more strength every day. {{{{{HUGS}}}}} Have a great Friday!!:)

How did day 2 go? :)

Day 2 was LOOOOONG!! I was starved by 10am cause I had breakfast at 3am. Had a salad from the salad bar for lunch, and treated myself to pizza at home at night.

The day went well. Had more kids come in and give me hugs, same with more teachers. It felt really great to know there was that much support.

My assistant is still the same. Still negative. The comment she made about the guy who was in for me was just unreal. She's extremely racist, and some how, admin let's her get away with it. The sub in for me was from Puerto Rico, and my assistant is extremely hateful of anyone hispanic. It's horrible to deal with because we have a lot of students who are from Puerto Rico, Dominican Rep., Mexico... the list goes on. So... I asked how my sub was, and she said he was really great and that he gave a bad name to Puerto Ricans. I was like, HUH?? She said "He works really hard, most of them don't. If more like him are around, they'll actually have to work."

How do you respond to that??? I didn't say anything, cause I had no idea what to say.

She's just as nasty about the black kids in the school. Unless you're white, and a church goer (cause she's just SOOOOO Christian...:rolleyes:), she has no use for anyone.

And people wondered why I hated going to work with her.


Other than that, it was a good day. Lots of books taken out. Lots of happy kids taking out brand new books (because I allowed them to, and my assistant didn't). I had a brand new book order come in right after I left, and it was a $10,000.00 order. The books are fantastic!! New football team books, new sports all around really. New books on forensics for kids, fiction books, biography. It was focused on diversity, because our school is so diverse, so many books for inner city youth and minorities.

I love getting in new book orders! When you get boxes and boxes of new books, it's so exciting! I've already read one new one by Kate Brian, called LUCKY. It's about a girl who is upper white collar and her mom loses her job, and they have to make sacrifices due to that and the economy. Really good book for the girls. The next one I have that I started is about a girl who commits suicide and sends tapes to the people in her life that had something to do with why she was depressed and killed herself. My assistant didn't like the premise, but we have so many kids with mental health issues, I think it's important to put out books that deal with it in a good way and how they can get help. After dealing with Ashley last year, who tried to kill herself on our last day of home bound instruction, the more it really sunk in that kids at this age level are dealing with some really intense issues.

I'll have to do some book reviews for you guys after I get through some of the books. There are a ton that I want to read.

So, yeah, all in all, day 2 was good. Can't get away from the assistant, but I can try to ignore her attitude as much as possible. Just wish admin would do something about her, but they don't/won't.

Jenn, glad you had a great day! I love books. I think you're a great influence on the kids too. You know what they say..reading is fundamental!

Tell your racist assistance that you don't want to hear her nasty remarks because you don't roll like that. If she can't say anything nice, say nothing, 'cause you won't be listening. If that doesn't work Witch slap her upside her head..Just kidding, but don't let the fool ruin your new, pleasant experience.

I could feel the excitement you have for the new books that come in! I hope you are still writing down all the things people said about why they are glad you are back!

That assistant of yours - what an unhappy and miserable person. :( Happy people don't think and talk like that. Major PT Prayers for her!

HUGS and you seem to getting back in the swing of things. Maybe having this routine again will help get your sleep straightened out.:love:

Take care.:)