One of my faves is
"They are looking for three legs on a cat, but they are gonna find four!
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One of my faves is
"They are looking for three legs on a cat, but they are gonna find four!
This is from my mom - I only wish I had listened to her when I was younger...
If you can't be good, be careful.;)
*You don't have to be a weather man to know which way the wind is blowing.*
Best when said to someone who tries to intimidate you by his *expertise*.
My boss' favorite one is "the devil is in the details." We hear this almost every time there is an office meeting. :rolleyes:
I really wish I could take credit for this one.
I was in the produce department of the supermarket and there was a woman with two kidsr. They were not misbehaving or acting up.......
She was trying to get their attention so she could move on so she says playfully to them. "Come on, Children of the Corn!"
COTC was a short story and later a movie from Stephen King-it was about a town where evil children were in charge and would kill adults that came into town or anyone of their group that turned 18.
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I looked at her and started to laugh...she saw me and got embarrassed....she began to apologize and I told her that it was O.K. I just never had heard anyone call their kids that.
Now when I see any kids acting badly I whisper under my breath.....Children of the Corn!!
Speaking of produce departments, I have seem this sign only twice in three years, always posted where the bananas are for sale:
"Bananas - imported."
Ya THINK????? :D:D:D
You can't idiot-proof the world! :rolleyes:
What if the hokey pokey really IS what it's all about?
Claudia
My boss has some very uhhh colorful sayings lol...most of which I've only heard her say. The only one I can think of right now is "They ain't got the brains God gave a bent screwdriver!" Has anyone else heard that before?
I like the saying (well, it goes something like this, can't remember it exactly) "Going to church doesn't make you a christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."
LOL,Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf_Q
These are precious....
Keep them coming!:D
Another one she often says (when somebody asks when something will be done) is "The second Tuesday of next week." If somebody asks if she's busy she'll say "Busier than a cat covering up s**t." Those aren't even the really "colorful" ones, but those are all I can think of right now. I'm not sure I've ever talked to anyone with as many sayings as she has, I don't know how she comes up with them all. :confused:
If it's not one thing, it's your mother.
Behind every sucessful marriage, is a surprised mother-in-law.
Don't question your wifes judgement. Look who she married.
If you haven't got anything good to say about anyone, come sit by me.
My personal favorite that I use often:
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Claudia
"Who's rattled 'is cage?"
"S/he couldn't organise a p*ss-up in a brewery/mud-bath at Glastonbury"
"No chance, mate."
"You and who's army?"
"As happy as a pig in muck!"
I am ashamed of myself. :p:D
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."
I don't know who said it, but it's one of my fave's, and has great significance to me.
When my grandpa was still around I'd say "I have a headache", he'd say "If I had a head like that it would hurt too"
This is something my dad used to say to me (I was a smart a** quite a lot):
"I'll smack you into the middle of next week"
Sometimes I wish he would have...then I wouldn't be in trouble any more:p
LOL, Then you would have missed the weekends!:confused:Quote:
Originally Posted by anna_66
Oh ,
Who can forget...
"As nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!"
My dad used to quote Bill Cosby to my brother...
"Boy, I brought you into this world and I can take you out!" :p
Loved the COTC reference. My friend sometimes calls her kid Damian. LOL!
Claudia
I heard this one during Monday Night Football and it makes me crazy.
Hand to hand (as in fighting and combat....) in spanish is "MANO A MANO".
I cringe when I hear people used it incorrectly.
Mano y mano is Hand and hand.
The announcer on MNF says "mano y mano, man to man"
WTF?
You can't even get one side of the equation right!:rolleyes:
hombre a hombre -- just doesn't have the same ring to it I guess.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moesha
No en Espanol es "Brokeback Mountain".;)
One saying I just can't stand is
"My bad". I hate it......
"As busy as a one-armed paper hanger." I like that one.
"As nervous as a bag of wet squirrels.":D
Found a button that a friend gave me back when we worked together at the local weekly newspaper. under crazy deadline with crazy (usually in a good way) bosses:
"Only by attempting the impossible can we achieve the absurd!"
and we also had another that said
"What doesn't kill me makes me stronger"
This one I will never figure out.
Ambulance Entrance.
They park outside, the patient goes in but the ambulance stays outdoors!
Soo... I was a little slow on the jokes last night, and my cousin told me that my hamster was going a little slow in my head... Well Jon piped in, and said, "Yeah, your hamsters ACTUALLY having an identity crisis, it thinks its a turtle."
Okay. Stupid, I know, but it made us all laugh reaaaaaally hard, cuz then they started calling my "hamster" a "hamstertle".
I can't think of anything else incredibly witty right now... maybe later, lol.
ME: I'm about two second away from going crazy.
Dustin: It's not that far of a trip for you, babe.
:rolleyes: It made me laugh at the time.
I have a habit of adding "I don't know, ask Vanessa Redgrave!" to the end of questions.
(Comes from a 1981 stand up sketch by Rik Mayall)
I have sooooo many sayings that I love...
but the ones on here are very cute too! :)
ok.. LMAO... haha.....Quote:
Originally Posted by RICHARD
one of my all time is when I refer to multiple things of one kind I usually say "treinta mil"... which is like saying "there were like 30 thousand cars yesterday"
this is a common conversation with hubby and I while driving around:
me: where are we going?
he: to the moon...
this actually came from a movie we saw.. LOL....
another ones I constantly say..
I donīt know (actually in english)
si no le gusta bye... (if he/she/they donīt like it... bye)
esta bien... (as in nodding not so convinced about somehting)
hijo de tu madre!!... (not a bad word, it mean son of your mother, which is actually true isnīt it :p)
I just have to put this here because it has had me giggling for days now. I rented Underdog this weekend. "There's no need to worry, Underdog is furry." LOlolololololol. Ha, sorry. :D
Yea, and I may turn green, grow feathers and learn to fly, but I doubt it! :D
(one I made up and use a lot!!!)
Get off that phone. You're not THAT important!!! ( one I used to yell at people using cell phones while driving ) (I'd still yell it if I was still driving) :D
If my mum catches someone talking about something and doesn't specify who "we" is she will reply...
"Who's we? Ya have a turd in your pocket?"
Also...
"I'm so hungry I could eat the paint off the walls."
I am always hungry, so I use this plenty. :-)
My dad's favorite was 'Hijo de la guayaba'!Quote:
Originally Posted by Husky_mom
translated? Son of a guayaba-which is a tree fruit.
And "son of a boliche', said with a thick Mex accent!
"Son of bowling!";)
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I don't like the saying,
"It is what it is"....ugh!
Yes, my Dad always had a few -
"He/She couldn't organise a _ _ _ _ in a brothel with $50"
I am a trainer in IT, and if someone is a smarty pants and says things like "Can I give you a tip" - I usually reply "Let me give you one, Race number 2, Horse number 5".
Or
"Don't Pee into the wind" (I LOVE that one!!)
"One sandwich short of a picnic"
......... great thread!!!
Hey YOU!Quote:
Originally Posted by captain
That reminded me my personal favorite - If I go out to eat and the service is good, I leave a larger gratuity-if the server has a sense of humor - I tell them that I'll give them a tip for their tip.....
Then I whisper to them, "Don't bet on the (insert the local sports team name)."
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My other favorite for a restaurant is when the server comes over and asks if I want a box for the leftovers.(The square styrofoam containters for take out food.)
I always say, "Box for it? No, but if you want to wrestle for it, let's go!"
That one came out of the blue one day and it works when you have diners within earshot!:rolleyes:
"As busy as a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest"
"Dumb as a box of doorknobs (or hammers)".
"Go P!ss up a rope."
That is one that bothers me too!! I was bored at work one day and wrote a whole rant email to some of my friends about it...Quote:
Originally Posted by RICHARD
Also a great song by Ween....Quote:
P!ss up a rope."
First out the taxi, last to the bar.
OMG - HahahahahahaQuote:
Originally Posted by smokey the elder
Instead of swearing I say "What the F, David Blaine!"
My ultra all time favorite is:
"Progress might have been alright once but now it's gone on for too long!"
The second:
"We don't inherit the land from our ancestors...
We borrow it from our children"