I Just Put My Baby to Sleep

Thank you again for everybody's kind words. They mean allot to me. I am lucky to have friends like you, who understand what I am going through.

It's been a hard day. Last night was even worse. It was the first night without my Maxie. There was nobody there to sleep with me under the covers and in my arms. I took my digital camera out and looked at pictures and videos I have of Maxie and I cried myself to sleep. Luckily, Fenway was there to lick my tears away.

The thing is, I am responsible for Maxie's death. In July of 2005, he was diagnosed with Cardiomyopathy. I put him on a diet and in July of 2006, the vet said he was doing good & he had lost some weight. But then Cosmo got kidney disease & lost a ton of weight and wouldn't eat. So I bought Fancy Feast & fed him that. Cosmo would want to eat every 2-3 hours. So to fatten him up, I fed him that. And I fed Maxie too. It's like I put his condition on the back burner. It's like I forgot all about him. So I do feel responsible and I know I am partly responsible. For that, I will never forgive myself.

Tonight is hard too. Fenway is at my sisters and it's just me & Cosmo (like it was 6 years ago). I'm leaving for Florida tomorrow (which I have no desire to go to right now). It's so quiet in the apartment. It will be hard to go to bed again tonight. And I feel bad leaving Cosmo & Fenway.

I'm sorry if I sound like a big baby. But I just can't get over this. I'm even thinking of going to a pet shrink to help me through this.

In the meantime, is there any place on the web where I can create a video memorial for Maxie? I've seen some on this website that people have created in memory of their pets. Is this some kind of software you have to purchase? If anybody can let me know, I'd appreciate it. I tried to create a page on Catster for him, but for some reason, it's not letting me log in.

Thanks again for your kind words. They really mean alot. I'm glad websites like this exist.

This is Maxie sleeping in my bed:
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b1...g?t=1172361965

This is Maxie and his buddah belly (which I will miss):
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b1...g?t=1172362018

This is Maxie smiling:
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b1...g?t=1172362079

What a sweet angel in that first pic. Where will you be in Florida? If you'd ask in cat general, someone there might make a video for you. I would but I'm not that talented. Trust me, I know how hard it is and you're not being a baby about it. It's been three months for me now and there's days where it's felt like I lost him just yesterday. Lots of time for us to heal is what it's going to take. That and the love from your other cats can help to fill the void at times. Good luck and know that we're here for you. Pms from some of your buddies here can help a lot, too.

I sent you a PM this morning but your box was full. I'm not sure if you saw my thread about it in General. I'm sorry that your trip to Florida is tomorrow. I know you don't want to go. Try to enjoy it a little if you can. I hope getting away makes you feel a bit better.

Maxie was such a beautiful boy. Thanks for posting pictures of him. Take care.

Terry

I'm so sorry about Maxie. Try not to blame yourself.

Rest in Peace Sweet Maxie.

I am so so so sorry to hear about your lose. How you loved Maxie and how he loved you. We lost our Cassiegirl five years ago and the pain you are feeling is so familiar to me. I cried everyday for a month I missed her so. For us adopting a kitten, Jake a Poo helped us heal. His silly antics and innocence was what stopped my tears along with my daughters.
Good luck to you. I realized after a bit that the greatest gift we can give to our loved furry children is exactly what most of us do, give them the best life possible and to not let them suffer. You did that. You were a great mom and Maxie knew that.

I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner. I'm so sorry about Maxie. :( It hurts real bad, I know. Time will help to ease your pain. Maxie will always be with you, in your heart. {hugs}

{{hugs}}
so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for the loss of your little one.

UPS has my cat. :mad:

They couldn't deliver him to me (his ashes) yesterday because the crematorium didn't have my apartment number (which I gave). So his ashes have been sitting in a cold, dark UPS building all night. I'm leaving work early to pick him up. My poor Maxie. I hope I can be strong enough and not break down when I pick him up. It's going to be hard. :(

That's infuriating, to be sure, but keep in mind that it's only Maxie's "clothing" that is in the urn. Maxie is playing at the RB, free from all pain and cares. He comforts you when you're sad and this is one of those times. Don't cry any more for Maxie. You miss him, I know, but he's alright.

Blessings,
Mary

I'm so sorry to hear about Maxie, but you really did make the right decision. It's still hard to lose our pets / babies though. I hope time helps and that you always remember the good times you had with Maxie.

I literally just joined...and I was reading your story and the wonderful words of all the members on here...and I was crying.

Maxie sounds wonderful! A lot like my baby, Gin...I can't imagine having to put a pet down. {{{{HUGS}}}} It will get better...and there will be new cats to fill your home with joy again...just give it time :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MidnightMoon

I literally just joined...and I was reading your story and the wonderful words of all the members on here...and I was crying.

Maxie sounds wonderful! A lot like my baby, Gin...I can't imagine having to put a pet down. {{{{HUGS}}}} It will get better...and there will be new cats to fill your home with joy again...just give it time :)

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Thank you for your kind words (and thank you to everybody else as well).

And welcome to PT.

I just made a donation in Maxie's name to the Winn Feline Foundation. They have a special fund that researches Cardiomyopathy.

I still miss Maxie very much. Especially now that the weather is getting warmer and the windows are open. He used to sit or lay in the window, in the sun, and take a cat nap. When I would go outside he would sit in the window & meow "hello" to me. I went outside this weekend and kept looking up to see him - but he wasn't there. I think about him every single day.

It was very hard to change my window & door clings that alert firefighters that there are pets inside. They now read dog: 1 and cat: 1. The 2 is crossed off.

:(

Oh, Elizabethann, I am so sorry for your loss of Maxie. What a wonderful cat, so much part of your life. Thank you for sharing the beautiful pictures.

You gave him a wonderful life full of love and warmth and food, with his very favorite person in the world with him right up to the very end. The love you share will always go on.

What a fine thing you did to donate to the Winn Feline Foundation's Cardiomyopathy fund in his name. Other cats will live better because of your beloved Maxie and the love you and he share.

Hugs {{{{{elizabethann}}}}},
Pat

I am so sorry. I too lost my very best friend on March 5th. I had been feeding him contaminated pet food. I still cry but it does seem to get better. You loved your dear Max, and animals are human--they know. You did what you did out of love. If you had tried to keep him alive, knowing how much he was suffering, that would have been for you. You did the right thing. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

play hard at the Bridge sweet Cosmo and be greeted by kitty angels

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KitCat

Sometimes it's better to let our loved friends go, so they aren't in pain anymore. I am sure your kitty is watching over you and understands.

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I agree ... it's a hard decision, but your beautiful kitty will be running and playing on the Bridge, happy as can be.

I am so very sorry to hear about Maxie !!! Sending some warm hugs.

I couldn't imagine the pain you must be in.... {{{hugs}}}