gayle...(HUGS)). from reading your posts, this marriage hasn't worked for a long time. and any man who would hit a woman isn't worth the dna. i know it hurts, but you will survive and be better for it. happiness will find you again. (hugs again)
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gayle...(HUGS)). from reading your posts, this marriage hasn't worked for a long time. and any man who would hit a woman isn't worth the dna. i know it hurts, but you will survive and be better for it. happiness will find you again. (hugs again)
Thanks again everyone. Catty I will be looking for that book as soon as I dare venture further than work and home. With all the snow and crappy driving conditions I'm just not venturing too far right now. Laura, love the poem. I'll pin it up at home and work. I am having a better day today, feeling good and confident. He came and collected more of his stuff last night and I wasn't upset by it - interesting. I'm thinking today might be a good day. Bruises are getting more technicolor, but that means they're healing. Sasha is much more relaxed with it being just her and I. We girls are doing ok today - one day at a time. But darn, I'm getting tired of shovelling the snow, the banks are now almost as tall as me!!
You should be proud of yourself!!! Good luck with your new and improved life :D
Couldn't have said it better!Quote:
Originally Posted by gini
{{hugs}} to you!
And {{hugs}} to Sasha for helping you through this!
Congratulations Gayle,
It is always a difficult decision and never an easy one, but it is the right one. You and Sasha will be much happier without having to be in fear all the time.
You did good kiddo!!!
P.S. You can order that book online (and then you don't have to go out in the snow :D )
Yes, I could. But the book is only $9 and the shipping/handling is half of that again.Quote:
Originally Posted by emily_the_spoiled
I've just learned that he's taken a couple of email addresses from my blackberry. Fool thought if he deleted them on my blackberry that he'd get away with it. But they're on my computer as I have it set up to delete from my computer only, not the blackberry. So I have an electronic record of his treachery.
Anyways, he now has the email for my boss and my counsellor.
What will he do with this - Lord only knows.
He's lost a measure of control be being out of the house, now he's trying to find another one. He's actually starting to scare me now.
call them right away and let them know that he might be contacting them, pretending to be you. now, this is from someone who was physically abused (once) and financially misused to the tune of 20,000. close all and any accounts that he has access to, change all the passwords to everything. get a lawyer, today. have you changed your locks yet? do your co-workers know he's been removed by the cops? you might want to let security at work know that he's out of your house and has been removed by the cops too. we have an employee assistance people at my job, and they can give you lots of advice and help. ((HUGS))
I have let them both know. Fortunately our banking is separate. I have told people at work the situation. He cannot get onto our floors in our building without a passcard.Quote:
Originally Posted by joycenalex
good grief!......why canīt they accept it......like a "man".....
I bet this makes you even more glad you ended it........scary I know, but glad you are no longer involved........
you did right, let everyone be aware of the situation so he canīt proclaim be you and do stuff on your behalf.........take care honey......we are still here
Let the police know too!
http://www.fp.ucalgary.ca/sexualharassment/Stalking.htm
This is at the U of C, Gayle. I know you have a counsellor, but this might be something worth discussing with her.
Write down every little thing he does. IT may be enough to add up to jail time, and mandatory counselling for HIM.
And your workplace, counsellor and boss all have record of this now.
Is there someone else you can stay with for a while? A friend that can all you at pre-arranged times? (Invent a code word so that she knows to disconnect and call 911 if necessary.) Or can the police have extra car surveillance with a drive-by?
The last thing I want to do is panic you...you have good people there and here - all working for your safety!
:( I am so sorry to hear this.. But you do not have to take this from anyone.. You hang in there & it will work out.. (((((( BIG HUGGSS ))))))
hey gayle!!! i've been thinking of you. how are things? (hugs)
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
YOU just remember- none of this is YOUR fault. He is making the decissions he is, and it only proves more so illegal actions. Telling your boss of this- remember - there is such a thing a martial stalking.
As far as a pass card- unless he works there- the company has every right to ban him from the building. ie- stop him from entering even the parking lot. I am not sure where you work, so I am assuming its not a store.
If you need to talk- I have been there- and more than willing to help.. But I will say this- GET A DIVORCE LAWYER... !
Sorry, everyone. I've been licking my wounds and trying to mend my broken heart. I seem to be having alot of sad days and don't want to come here and whine/sniffle. I'm doing ok. Just real sad.
Sweetie....you come here and whine and sniffle ALL you want...OMG! You have been to Hell and back, you DESERVE a good cry!
Lots of shoulders here - post over to General here!
HUGS!
Don't ever be sorry to come here. I wish I had a place like this when I went through my bad marriages. We can help you be strong. I think it's great that you're getting away from him. Have you thought about an injunction for protection or would that just make matters worse? It does sound like he's got a bit of a mean streak in him. Just be careful and know we're here for you.
I AGREE! YOU ARE ENTITLED TO FEEL AS YOU DO- and then there is tomorrow.. Please trust me- there is a life you have NEVER IMAGINED in your life- and its just around the corner.. I just with I could help.. I have been there- I know.. I thought my life was over- and NOOOOOOOOOOOOO it was JUST STARTING!Quote:
Originally Posted by Catty1
I am sorry, I just saw this. stay safe. nobody should have to endure this. you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
((((HUGS))))) btw Sasha is beautifu and hugs to her as well for helping you through this.
oh my golly.. I never knew this. :mad: :( nobody, especially my friend should go through this!! I'm so sorry to hear this, I hate what you're feeling now.
please know I will always think of you, (have anyway) and here for you if you want/need me. 2, 3 or 4 in morning is fine too! seriously. looks like we can start off a new life together this year, go us girls!! ;)
just one advice, document everything, date and time of incidents, keep mysterious messages/notes - it'll save you!! ((((hugs)))) hang in there, kudos to you, be careful and love you.
"Musical: My Fair Lady
Song: Without You
Eliza (singing):
What a fool I was, what dominated fool,
to think that you were the earth and the sky,
What a fool I was, What an elevated fool,
What a mutton-headed dote was I!
No, my reverberated friend,
you are not the beginning and the end.
Professor Higgins (speaking):
You impetant hussy there's not an idea in your head or a word in your mouth that I haven't put there.
Eliza (singing):
There'll be spring every year without you. England still will be here without you.
There'll be fruit on the tree.
And a shore by the sea.
There'll be crumpets and tea without you.
Art and music will thrive without you. Somehow Keats will survive without you.
And there still will be rain on that plain down in Spain,
even that will remain without you.
I can do without you.
You, dear friend, who taught so well,
You can go to Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire.
They can still rule with land without you.
Windsor Castle will stand without you.
And without much ado we can all muddle through without you.
Professor Higgins:
You brazen hussy,
Eliza (singing):
Wihtout pulling it the tide comes in,
without your twirling it the Earth can spin,
Without your pulling it, the tide comes in
Without your twirling it, the earth can spin
Without your pushing them, the clouds roll by,
If they can do without you, ducky, so can I
I shall not feel alone without you
I can stand on my own without you
So go back in your shell
I can do bloody well
Without. you..
We are all here for each other during the good times and the bad. You whine/sniffle (or grieve as it is technically termed) as much as you want - that's what we are here forQuote:
Originally Posted by Queen of Poop
I sure don't think anyone here would think you were whining and sniffling.
You have been through a lot and it is normal that you would feel sad and depressed. Your life has been turned upside down. This is a caring forum and we are here to give you support.
Take good care of YOU!
Sweetie even though your relationship has been an abusive one, I am sure there were some good times too, and it is only natural for you to be grieving, because no matter how good or bad it is, it is still a loss , the loss of a relationship as you knew it.
It is normal for you to feel sad and at a loss, and we are all here for you to help in anyway we can, just know that, you will get through this, and you will be a much happier person,just believe in yourself and know there is something much better our there for you and in time you will discover that, you are a wonderful lady with a heart of gold.
((((hugs)))) I am so sorry...
Thanks everyone. Things just keep getting more interesting. I am sure he is losing his mind. 2 days ago he wanted to divide up our property and then work on our marriage. Now he accuses me of cheating on him. I never have and that is the Gods honest truth, I swear on all of my furbabies. He so needs to go far, far away from me.
Catty, I did get the book and have read it and might read it again, thank you, it's great. Yes, he is a classic abuser. I'd just like to take Sasha and go away. We need a break from this nightmare.
I am so glad to be able to come here and be among friends. Thank you all so much.
Anyone who's in a questionable relationship, run for the hills before you get sucked in too far. Please don't let yourself get into my position, it is the most awful place to be. Be careful girls, learn from my huge mistake.
Glad to hear from you, and glad you and Sasha are okay. Still sending hugs!
We are still thinking of you and sending loving thoughts.... stay safe and as far away from him as possible!
Oh, Gayle...is anyone keeping an eye on this guy? Do you think he is dangerous? Have you changed the locks?
He's the crazy one and YOU'VE been seeing the counsellor for years?
I think he better get one too.
Remember - we have that new law in Alberta about enforcing treatment...I don't know if he is in that category though.
I'm scared for you...but you seem ok in that house with Sasha.
I hope he DOES go far, far away from you SOON! Can you and Sasha get away somewhere?
Just now reading this thread. I commend you for your courage, it is never worth staying with someone who abuses you. Sending you prayers & ((hugs)), and pm.