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You know everyone shows grief in a different way, even though you feel they were not close, i am sure she still feels something now he is gone, i do believe from what you have said she has always been that way,not doing anything to help,if she is depressed though even lifting a finger can be mamoth task, however you and you alone only know your niece, so i feel you are the only one who can set the rules,i would imagine she needs rules just like anyone else, if she is not used to that way of living, well she will get used to it in time, if i were you i would not be too hard on her right now, give her a chance to one get used to her new surroundings and two deal with the loss of her father, whatever her relationship was with him, i have no doubt she will be feeling some sort of loss.
It is obvious you love her, or why would you even bother to take her in and come here to vent, it is good you have a place here to do just that, hopefully some of our suggestions and opinions may help, hope so, take care and all the best. :)
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Carol....thanks for your input. I feel exactly like you, I am trying not to be too hard on her right now.
Sometimes it gets harder than other times. Like last night she said I can't find the bottom of my cheesecake pan, I think someone that cleaned my house threw it away, I am REALLY mad.
Now keep in mind the coroner talked about having the house condemned, 10 people, myself and my daughter went and spent 5 hours cleaning. We were seriously vomiting while cleaning it was so bad. There was never a thank you for any of that. So in response I said "you shouldn't be mad, those people out of the kindness of their hearts cleaned your house and helped you, you got lots of money donated go buy another pan, hiring someone to do that cleaning would have costed a lot of money" Now keep in mind some of the pans and dishes were just so horrendous and filthy they did get thrown out.
