behavior changes

ugh!! I did it again!! I get names confused every now and then after reading all the posts! I was referring to Carrie's statement...but I agree with what everyone here has said. *hugs*
Karen

I thought I would let everyone know the update on Harley.

Rachel gave me a wh fox terrier rescue contact and I emailed them a few days ago. They posted my email on the rescue list and that put me in contact with a wonderful woman who lives 2.5 hours away from me. The woman has a wh fox terrier of her own and has been involved in the rescue and placement of them for years. From everything she has told me, I am certain Harley will be well cared for. She wants him to stay with her for awhile so she can see his personality and place him accordingly. I am also writing up background info on Harley to give her. Its not confirmed yet, but I think next Friday will be the day I will take Harley to her http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/frown.gif I know this is what's best for Harley though and he will still be able to live a happy life.

Thank you all for your support. You guys are all so wonderful. I'm going through so much grief right now and it helps me to come here and read supportive messages.

I am happy that you might have found someone that can take Harley and find him a good home. I realize that you must be feeling all kinds of emotions at this time. But I think that you are making a wise choice because you love all 3 of your pets and want them to have a good life. If Harley gets adopeted out you should be able to check on how he is adjusting for awhile and give yourself some piece of mind. I hope all works out well and don't be too hard on yourself because you have done everything in your power to make this work. Who knows might be someone out their that needs Harley more than you do?

Oh Aly. that is wonderful news. I certainly hope it will all work out beautifully for you and Harley. Rachel, and thanks to you for helping out.
Happy Holidays to you all, whatever you celebrate.
Logan

Aly, I'm so glad to hear the news. Harley will be starting on a new adventure to a new home, I'm sure he will never forget all the love and wonderful care you have given him.
I believe you have done the right thing for all and who knows, maybe you can keep in touch with the person who adopts him. We got Perry from a breeder in Los Angeles and I send photos of Perry every Christmas to her
and she loves it and knows that he is well cared for. Maybe it will work out that way for you too.

I really hope the people won't mind keeping in contact with me. I dont know what I'll do with myself if I can't have updates on him. I am trying to look at all the positive sides of this situation but I'm still so devastated.

I've been thinking and I remembered how Shiloh came into my life before Dessi died. I know she was sent from God to help me through the time of loss. A month ago, Reece suddenly came into my life. I wasn't looking for another dog but adopted him on pure feelings of fate and destiny. I just wonder if I was meant to rescue Harley from the shelter, if I was meant to find a really good home for Harley, and if Reece was meant to come into my life to help me deal with the pain of losing Harley. Realizing all this helps me feel better and feel like everything happens for a reason. I know right now is the hardest time and I will be doing much better when Harley is in his new home and I know he's doing good.

Dear Aly. You are so brave. What a courageous, selfless, loving decision you have made. Thank you Rachel for helping to assist in finding Harley the perfect home. It must be so hard for you Aly; I can only imagine the saddness. But as you said in your last post, perhaps this was all for a very special reason. As parents, sometimes we are left to suffer the pain for the good of our "kids." You are in my thoughts constantly. I, like others, was so happy to the smiling faces of precious Reece and Harely, when you finally were able to post their pics. He will be in my heart always. The prospect of his new adventure sounds very encouraging. I hope for the best. Hugs to sweet Harley, and to you. Love to you, Sandra

Aly...Sammi said something that sort of clicked with me. There might be someone out there that needs Harley more than you do. It does seem that all of your pets so far have helped to fill a void. I think little Reece has a special mission now and that is to help you through this. You continue to be in my thoughts because this had to be such an awful decision to make. It sure would be nice if you could sort of keep in touch with his new "people." http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif Keep us posted!

Hey, if the people who end up getting Harley for a forever home have a computer, maybe we could all keep in touch with the boy if they log on to Pet Talk and post updates! I am glad you found someone to care for him and be a sorta doggy adoption agent, and I bet he'll be happy in his new home, and yours and Shiloh's blood pressure will drop considerably once the worrying is over.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by aly:
I've been thinking and I remembered how Shiloh came into my life before Dessi died. I know she was sent from God to help me through the time of loss. A month ago, Reece suddenly came into my life. I wasn't looking for another dog but adopted him on pure feelings of fate and destiny. I just wonder if I was meant to rescue Harley from the shelter, if I was meant to find a really good home for Harley, and if Reece was meant to come into my life to help me deal with the pain of losing Harley. .

---

Yes, yes, yes to all of the above and I think you are Harley's angel.



[This message has been edited by RachelJ (edited April 14, 2001).]

Aly,

I am so sorry to hear that you must make this most painful of changes in your life. I am happy to hear that someone is interested in him in such a short amount of time, it's truly a blessing. You have me crying, I feel your loss so much and I am so sorry for you. I wish I could be more helpful but time will heal your wounds. It's a brave thing you are doing and it's the right decision. I am glad it's coming to end soon and you will be feeling better knowing that Harley has a new place to drop anchor forever and that sweet kitty can live out the rest of her years in peace.

I honestly know by experience that this is very, very difficult but know that pet talk folks will try to help you as much as we can. Although my heart is heavy because I know the pain you are feeling by experience, I am also happy that it's a happy ending for everyone. Harley will be fine, he'll be happy and spunky and he'll never forget the love you provided for him.

I wish I could help more, I am having a hard time seeing what I type because my eyes are full of tears. Happy and sad tears. Happy for all animals involved, sad for your pain.

Take care,

Leslie

Aly, My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine how your heart is breaking. But I agree with what everyone else has said, he came into your life for a reason, and so did Reece. And you never know maybe in a couple months down the road you can open your heart and bring in another homeless pet. There are so many out there, all of us on here want to save them all! Hopefully the kitty will accept the situation, how do the kitty and Reece get along? Am I correct in remembering that you work at an animal shelter?
I agree that hopefully the new potential owners of Harley have a computer and will willingly join the board and keep us posted.
You are in out thoughts and prayers.

This is the absolute worst. I don't think I'm going to make it until Friday at this rate. The closer it gets, the more I want to take Harley and flee the country. I do not want him to go at all. I'm going to miss him so much. I can't go 5 minutes without getting teary eyed during the day. And every single time I think of him, the tears pour. I know its best for him though and I have to do it. I'm going to drive him to the woman's house on Friday afternoon. She's taking half the day off work and spending the weekend with him. She has a doggy door and a fenced in backyard and a female fox terrier for Harley to play with. This puts my mind at ease a little but Reece and I are going to miss him so much.

shais_mom: Reece is great with Shiloh. He gets along really well with every animal he's come across. At the pet store, he even tried to go make friends with a huge doberman. I'm sure I will be rescuing another homeless pet sometime. When I move into a place with enough space, I want to start a rescue. As for right now, I'm sure I'll keep falling in love with the dogs at the shelter and coming here to tell you all about them.

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts.

Hey, don't be too sad. Try to think of life from your kitty's point of view, if that helps. And you know, unlike so many people, that he really is going to someone who cares, and will be placed ina home where he doesn't have to constantly be seperated from another pet, and that while he will miss you, his overall quality of life will improve, right?

Just think of it as a nice end to a lovely interlude in both your lives, and know that we will all be thinking of you this week.

Karen just said it so well. You have a wonderful loving heart Aly. I wish we could ease your pain. Please consider having someone go with you on the trip Friday afternoon.

Oh Aly, this must be so hard for you. I know it would be for me too, but all of us here at Pet Talk are thinking about you and your "kids" and we're here to support you. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Maybe you were meant to take Harley in, because that's the only way he could find the right forever home, through you with Rachel's help. I think it's a great idea to have his new owner join us here on Pet Talk and keep us up to date on Harley's adjustment. Many hugs to you during this difficult time http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif
Karen

Another woman has contacted me. This one is possibly interested in adopting Harley. She didn't say much but she did mention that she has smooth fox terriers. I wrote her back and we will see what happens.

I'm proud of Reece. He has mastered sit, stay, come, shake, and dance. Next is roll over http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif

It sounds like Reece is becoming quite the accomplished "little man." http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif It probably helps to concentrate on him now and also dear little Shiloh who will look at Harley's leaving differently than you do. You had a hard decision to make and I feel you are doing the right thing. It's wonderful that you have another possible forever home for Harley. Good luck with all of this Aly. You are a great mom!

Tomorrow is my last full day with Harley http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/frown.gif I feel really bad for my animals because I think I'm upsetting them with my sad mood for the past week. I've been trying to keep myself busy but I am running out of ways. I think I checked these message boards 800 times today. It occupies my mind to be able to read about other people's pets. I have been spending all my time with Harley also. I always have him in the part of the house where I am. Shiloh is not happy about this at all but she will be okay after Friday. I hate it when one animal is always left out. This is what has been stressing me out so much for the past 2 months.

I hope you guys dont mind, I didn't really have a reason for posting this. I've just run out of things to ease my mind.

Bless your heart Aly! You are such a good mom to your pets. I wish the general population would be half as concerned as you are for their pets' welfare. We'll all be thinking of you on Friday. http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/frown.gif Don't worry about posting too much on this. Trust me....we all understand!

Hi Aly, it's very hard for you right now, I think we have all been through a difficult time with our pets one way or another, you have done the best for all of you. Harley seems to be very outgoing and there is someone out there just waiting for him. I'm sure you can work something out with the person who takes him either communicating on Petoftheday, or maybe you will be able to visit or they will send you photos. You have been the best Mom to all your sweeties and are doing your very best to keep them all happy.

I forgot to tell you guys.. I got the dogs groomed on Friday. When I was in line to drop them off, Harley was barking because the other dogs were exciting him. This woman said really loud for all to hear, "That is a MEAN dog!" Then to her dog she said "You are the only good dog here." She then requested very loudly that my dogs (Reece was being quiet and just sitting there) be kenneled far away from her dog or she'd never come back. All Harley was doing was barking. It wasn't even a vicious bark. I told her that he's not mean, just excited and she ROLLED her eyes at me. Ugh, it made me so mad.

Anyway, the funny part of the story was when I went to pick them up. I saw a little wirehair fox terrier in one of the kennels up front. My sister was with me and started calling Harley's name to the fox terrier. I told her that wasn't Harley, that dog was about half his size. But then the woman took him out of the kennel to give me! I tried to tell her it was the wrong dog! He wasn't even responding to his name. Turns out it was Harley afterall. That was the first time I had him shaved and I didn't even recognize him. I can't wait to get pictures developed. He wasn't responding to his name because he was digging in his kennel trying to get to the dog next to him. The silly boy never gives up http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif

They did quite a number on Reece too. They froofed his hair up so much. His head and tail were puffballs and his body was shaved. I had some water in the car and I had to get his hair damp to bring back his little curls. I'm still not used to these two naked, skinny dogs running around http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif

Just wanted to let you know you are on my mind and in my prayers. It was so sweet of you to get Harley groomed before you let him go. It is just another example of how you are doing everything possible to give him the best chance of becoming someone's forever dog. You are his angel. I only hope that the person who adopts him will keep in touch not only with you but with us, so that he can still be part of our extended family. (For some reason I am drawn to the stubborn, hard headed ones.)
Look forward with optimism for your little boy and for the peace that Shiloh deserves, and please try not to grieve anymore.

Aly,

I am thinking about you on this day http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/frown.gif You poor thing. Such a hard decision. Just stay strong and know that everything will be OK. It will be hardest on you then any of the animals, including Harley. He'll be so busy playing with his new family members that he won't have much time to worry about his new home. He'll be so happy...a new playmate! Shiloh will be so happy too, she'll breath a huge sigh of relief...she's been hunted for the last many weeks and she'll finally begin to feel like a pet and not a game animal. Just be brave http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif I wish I could help you more. You are such a kind person with such wonderful love for animals and you did everything in your power to prevent this issue from getting as bad as it is. It truly is fate that Reese came into your life to help mend your heart while you had to part with Harley. What angels our animals are.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Aly,
Hold on. This is going to be the hardest day for you, but you must let go. It is for the greater good that you let him go. He will always remember you for the love and kindness you've shown him. Be strong. You have no other choice. It is fate that brings him to a new home. I'm sure he'll love it there. Your job is almost over. You've done the right thing even though it cost a piece of your heart. My thoughts are with you.
Sue

Aly, This is your last night with Harley so I know you are very sad probably right about now. Maybe it will help to know that we are here are thinking of you. Snuggle up close to Harley tonight and give him lots of hugs and kisses from all of us. Happier days are ahead. http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif

Aly, have been thinking about you tonight and hoping you had a good day with Harley and hope you both sleep peaceful tonight. I hope tomorrow when you turn Harley over to someone else you feel pride in all that you have done for him and that will help him adjust quickly into his new life. Try to feel happy for him. Wish you all well.

How blessed to have been a waystation
For a pup who needed you so
And in reminded him what it means to be loved
Makes it more heartbreaking to have to let go.

How sweet to welcome a visitor
Into home and heart and all your lives
Not knowing it was to be temporary
Just caring and saving his life

How brave, how sad for Shiloh cat
To share her home and your love like that
And though he couldn't overcome his terrier genes
You tried to make it work, tried so many means

How sad it must be, this last night
To have to do what you mind knows is right
But your aching heart doesn't care why
So hard it is to make this solemn good-bye

How joyful it is, smile with aching heart
You know, we know, that for all he must depart
And that silly sunny goofy face
Will be better off in another home, another place

How sweet it will be, to give him to one
Who knows how he his, knows what he's done
But makes room in her home, a waystation to be
And promises to find a good home for Harley

He's been groomed and bathed and is spiffy as can be
He's been loved and hugged repeatedly
And you, brave as you can be, will let him go
And you know, don't you, that he'll always know
That love exists, that he can be worthy of praise
And he'll carry you in his doggy heart, too
No matter where he spends his days

For Shiloh, dear Shiloh, the worry will finally cease
She'll still have a dog-friend in brother Reece
The stress will dissipate, the heartbreak dull to an ache
And at last, when all is settled, there will again be peace.

Chin up, Aly, be a good boy Harley
And Reece, be extra sweet to Shiloh and Mama these next couple days, okay?

Good luck to you Aly and to Harley too, will be thinking of you tonight and tomorrow.

Karen that was beautiful. Everytime I read the latest post in this topic I cry, and that poem was so perfect and beautiful I cried even harder.

Aly, I hope you had a nice day with Harley yesterday and it helped you build some good memories for you to hold on to.

Love to you, Harley, Reese, and Shiloh on this sad day.

-Leslie

God be with you, Harley and Aly.

Aly: I have been reading these posts for the past week and my heart goes out to you. You are a very kind, loving and caring person - you have a difficult task today and yet you are carrying it off with grace and courage. I do not know you personally but I can feel the love you have for Harley and all your pets. As hard as it is to give him up you are doing what is best for all. You, Harley, Shiloh and Reece are in my thoughts and prayers today.

Carolyn

Bless you Aly. Bless you precious, precious Harley and prayers that your transistion into your new home is a happy one. Aly,
I know in your heart you will always think of yourself as Harley mom, and he will always love you. You are so brave Aly. I hope you have the chance to visit Harley often. I can't read or think about this without crying. Love Sandra

Oh, dear Aly, I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you all day. What you have had to do today was probably one of the hardest things you have had to experience. You did the right thing though. I want you to know that I admire you for the strength and courage you have shown through this whole situation. YOu are an inspiration. I just wanted to let you know my thoughts and prayers are with you on this day and in the days days to come.

I just got home. I am not handling this well at all. The important thing is Harley, Shiloh, and Reece are all happy. I wanted to tell everyone thanks for thinking of me, it really helped me on the long drive home alone. I will post the details when I am feeling better.

Aly,
Just wanted to say that I hope you are doing better today and you will be in my thoughts. Hang in there.
Sue

Aly, we know what a difficult time this is for you and I have been thinking about you all morning. Give your babies a hug from all of us.

Here's the update, its going to be hard for me to write so I don't know how long or short it will be. Thursday was pretty uneventful. I just spent time with him and worried about Friday. The day seemed like an eternity but at the same time it seemed like it was over in a flash. I couldn't fall asleep until around 5am and I woke up at 6:45am on Friday morning.

We packed up all of his toys, bowls, food, etc. I loaded the car and went to my sister's with the dogs so we could say goodbye. We took Harley and Reece to the park to play. I left Reece to stay with my sister while I was gone and Harley and I started driving at about 1:30. I didn't have anyone come with me because I sort of wanted to say goodbye to him alone. This was probably a really bad choice because it ripped me apart. We drove for about 3 hours and I made one last stop at the lake where we spread Dessi's ashes. I walked Harley around there and we talked to Dessi. Harley sat on my lap and licked my face. He sensed my mood and was telling me everything would be okay.

We got to his foster home around 5:30pm. He walked right in and started pooping. The little wh fox terrier he's with is such a sweetie but she will put him in his place if he crosses boundaries with her. Everything between them seemed fine and they mainly ignored each other after some sniffs. Harley was having a good time playing with toys. He also walked around the backyard and peed on everything.

When it came time to say goodbye, I was in pieces. Harley really didn't care much. That helped some. He was struggling to get away from me so he could play with the toys some more. I feel very comfortable with him being there but my heart is broken because I love and miss him so much.

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I pray none of you are ever put into this position. Thank you all for your beautiful words, they bring even more tears to my eyes. Through all my tears, I realize I did what had to be done and I know Harley will be better off when he gets to his new home. Shiloh can also be in peace. She seems to already know he's gone for good because she's been running around at top speed all morning pouncing on me and Reece. Reece has chased her a little a few times but he is very gentle. She loves antagonizing him. He wasn't really playing with her too much but I think in a few days these two will be playing well.

I hope no one looks down on me for my decision. I only did it because it was the only way I knew of to allow all three of my animals to be happy. Harley's life was very hard for his first seven years but I feel so fortunate to have been able to rescue him and show him what love is. Hopefully his new owners will love him like I do and maybe he'll even go to a home with a fox terrier friend. I will remain in contact with his foster mommy and so I will update you all on the adoption process.

Aly, what you are experiencing is grief, and it is a natural thing for you to go through. Some of us have experienced grief in making the choice of euthanization for a very sick or infirm furkid. There is no manual for these decisions, no place where it is written out for what is the "right" thing to do, consequently we are filled with conflicting thoughts and emotions...with doubt as well as loss and the enormity of the responsibility to our little loved one.

If any of us felt that the choices you have made were casually made or ill conceived, you should know that we would have spoken up in a heart beat and given you more unsolicited advice than you could even imagine. I doubt that there is anyone on this board who doesn't feel that you made the right decision for Shiloh or for Harley. Yes, you will miss him, but please, please, don't doubt the choice you made. You made the best choice that was humanly possible given all the circumstances and conditions that prevailed. And yes, this grief you feel will be with you for awhile. But you have to work at not letting it consume you. After I finally made the decision to have my dear, sweet Tizzie euthanized, I was in such a state. I had to limit the times which I would allow myself to even think about it. I selected the times I was taking a bath or shower. Those where the times I cried and cried. Other times, I just didn't allow myself to think about it. This let me grieve, but not go into a depression. Now try to get a lot of rest and eat with nutrition in mind as you have been under much stress. Our thoughts are with you.

[This message has been edited by RachelJ (edited April 21, 2001).]

Oh Aly, you are so tenderhearted, you poor thing. I agree with Rachel, we all have dealt with tough decisions when it comes to our pets, Rachel was very sympathetic to me when I was considering taking Shai back to the HS if she ran away again. I felt and still feel awful thinking of that, but when you are at your wits end, you have no choice. For me it was the heartache of watching her run and not come back, or getting hit by a car in front of me. For you it was the safety and happiness of your beloved Shiloh.
Even now with Shai's epilepsy, if it comes down to it and it isn't epilepsy and a brain tumor, whether or not to have a CT/MRI, and whether or not to treat it. I have already decided as much as she is my heart and soul, I couldn't in good concious prolong her life and suffering. Would her quality of life outweigh my desire to keep her around? I don't think so. She is such a sweet soul, I couldn't stand to see her suffer.
After much ado, and babbling on, I am trying to say, dear Aly, we support you in your heartwrenching decision, and whenever you want to talk about it you can get on here and talk to us or email anyone of us. I wish I had your address, I would send you a card.


[This message has been edited by shais_mom (edited April 21, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by shais_mom (edited April 21, 2001).]