I am so proud of you Denise, great job so far! I know it can't be easy, and it took you a LOT of courage to come forward and admit this to us. We are always here for you ((((hugs))))
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I am so proud of you Denise, great job so far! I know it can't be easy, and it took you a LOT of courage to come forward and admit this to us. We are always here for you ((((hugs))))
i just want to say your doing well.
I worked for 14 years at Styal in Cheshire.. shift work, high stress etc, and they had an officers club, so it was easy to roll out of work and fall into the club at the end of a stressful evening shift, usually ended going home by taxi worse for wear at 1-2am... i was drinking LOTS, at least 9 to 12 pints a day, more on Fridays when i would go to the officers club then onto a club in Manchester till 3-4 in the morning, they days I did'nt work I went to the pub.
Yes it helped with the stress but it was taking it's toll. My father also had a drinking problem when I was a kid so I was well aware of what I was doing.
Anyway to cut a long story short I woke up one morning with yet another hang over and said enough is enough, and it stopped right there.
Now i Have the occasional light beer and thats it (still 12 bottles of coors light in the fridge from before christmas) If I can do it anyone can... way to go.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brody's Mum
Excellent! :) :D We are all pulling for you to stack one day on top of another and another and ...
Good for you, one day at a time.
Perhaps you don't have the illness.
I am glad I do - because as many times, or as few, in a week as I want to, I can meet up with others who are learning to live sober(which is different that not drinking). It's an incredible bond.
After all - only the first step of the twelve mentions alcohol.
The disease starts in the mind. IF you are alcoholic, one day your resolve and good will will evaporate and you will drink again. This is the "blank spot" that is characteristic of alcoholic thinking. We put our hand back on the hot stove.
I hope this gets easier and easier for you. If you wind up grouchy and 'white-knuckling' in a week or less or more - just get to a meeting and see what you think for yourself.
hugs
Catty1
I am so extremely proud of you and your efforts,fantastic, just beware of the withdrawal effects, to be honest i think if you are an alcoholic you will suffer the DDTS i think that is the right term for it, not a pleasant experience, you may experience like things crawling over you that kinda of stuff,(My husband chose to be in a special facility to dry out, he was monitored daily, and he did experience this) you may also need this type of help in the future, well worth thinking about,i certainly am no expert on it all, but i can only share with you my own experience with my former husband, i do have some knowledge which i hope will be of help to you, anytime you want to PM me please do , i am only too willingly to offer you any support and advice i can.
Great stuff, and I wish you well today, remember it is not easy to do it alone, get the help you need and don't be too hard on yourself, take care and all the best, YOU CAN DO IT. you know you can. :)
Keep it up as all things one day at a time.
Last night was a real test as we were watching football and that normally means having a beer (or 2) in hand. I did fancy a drink but then realised I was thirsty not craving alcohol so had a lovely glass of iced water :D
Saturday is my wedding anniversary (yep! married on April Fool's Day!) so we will be going out for a meal. I may have wine, I may not but if I do I'm going to approach it the same way I did my diet - a couple of squares of chocolate instead of the whole bar, a glass or two of wine instead of the bottle!
I also have an exercise machine at home which I now jump on for half an hour if I find my mind turning to drink
Thanks once again for all your advice and support - I've got a way to go yet but my whole approach to alcohol has changed completely and I woke up singing this morning!!! :D :rolleyes:
Wonderful update. Keep up the good work. Happy anniversary. :D
Wow Denise, I am realy proud of you!!! I wasn't at home yesterday, so I didn't read all the updates then. But I am amazed at how well you are doing this!!! Keep thinking like this, it will change your life completely!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Brody's Mum
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY !!!
It is time for me to go back to work and I just wanted to say Good LUCK and keep it up! Hope when I get back next month, there will be nothing but good news from you! keep at it, keep it up!
(((hugs))) and happy anniversary! Sounds like everything is going really well. Keep up the good work, we are all so proud of you!
Good work.
Sounds like the 'substitution method' is working so far. Hope you are able to just live sober one day.
hugs
Catty1
My hubby announced that his brother and wife may be coming round on Saturday night - they drink vodka like its going out of fashion and I would normally have seen this as a great excuse to drink lots but my first reaction this time was "just because they are drinking it like water it doesn't mean I have to". Will let you know how I get on but I am confident that I will pass this test - I am determined not to let me (or you) down....
Won't be posting every day now because quite frankly it doesn't make for very interesting reading :D but I do know I can come back here if I need a boost
"He was interested and conceded that he had some of the symptoms, but was a long way from conceding that he could do nothing about it himself. He was positive that this humiliating experience, plus the knowledge he had acquired, would keep him sober the rest of his life. Self-knowledge would fix it.
(Fred wound up back in hospital - he goes on to say)
"I reasoned I was not so far advanced as some of you...that I had been usually successful in licking my other personal problems, and that therefore I would therefore be successful where you...failed...it would be only a matter of exercising my will power and keeping on guard.
"As soon as I regained my ability to think...not only had I been off guard, I had made no fight whatsoever against the first drink. This time I had not thought of the consequences at all...I now remembered what my alcoholic friends had told me, how they prophesied that if I had an alcoholic mind, the time and place would come - I would drink again. They had said that though I did raise a defense, it would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink...I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those mental blank spots. I had never been able to understand people who said a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was a crushing blow."
pp40 - 42, Alcoholics Anonymous
Denise: I chose these words for you, based on what you have shared. I wish you the best. Your posts aren't boring - I see a lot going on, the early stages, the coping methods familiar to many of us. "Don't miss it at all -feel better." 'We know that such a man is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits.'
Just remember - you don't have to ride the dump truck all the way to the dump.
Any time you want a boost or help, you can come here, as you said, absolutely!
When you decide you want RECOVERY - get to AA.
Hugs
Catty1
Thank you - have printed that out, its a lot to absorb in one go but I can see "me" in those words......Maybe I was worse than I thought :( and I thought I was doing so well *sigh* :(
You are doing well, you haven't been drinking, and you're not gonna start, right? When they're drinking "vodka like water" you can drink water - looks pretty much the same, right?, and guess which of you will feel best in the morning?
Catty1 - Thank you. I couldn't have said it better. Denise, good luck to you. Your posts are NOT boring, in fact lately this has been the first thread I check on PT. I NEED to read that other people are also trying to live sober one day at a time - it's what helps keep ME sober and has worked for a long time, one day at a time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Catty1
Denise, I'm so glad that you've admitted that you have a problem and that you're now doing so well.:) I don't know much about alcoholics but I too used to drink too much on the weekends. I'd go out with my drinking friends and then end up with a major hangover the next day. Many times I didn't even remember the whole night because I had black outs. I became very bored with drinking and tired of getting hangovers so I just stopped completely. I may have one drink on special occasions but I don't miss it at all. I hope that you'll continue to do well and you have my full support. Please take care. (((HUGS)))
P.S. I don't associate with my drinking friends any more but have made new non-drinking friends.;)
Denise - you are doing tremendously!
I hate to be devil's advocate. Just if you DO have alcoholism, there are things you might want to be aware of.
We can really judge ourselves harshly when it comes to something like this - just remember, you are not bad trying to get good, you are ill trying to get better!
And I think you have a real capacity for honesty, which is the key.
"It takes what it takes."
Hugs
Catty1
Denise please don't feel you are boring us, not at all, and do post daily if that is what helps you through all of this.
Again i am so proud of you ,what you have achieved is really something, i hope you are proud of yourself to, but i am concerned about you,i detect a little bit of denial still, but as i have said before you need to be assessed professionally IMO, i think it is very dangerous for you to be continually putting yourself in temptations way, if you are indeed an alcoholic, this is not something you should be doing,and you will need to make some real changes and be honest with family and friends, they will respect you for it in the end.
I don't mean to put you on a downer sweetie, i just want you to really be aware of the reality of the situation, and i speak purely from the heart as i care about what happens to you,my experience has taught me alot and if i can help you in anyway i am here anytime, take care and i wish you well for today and all days. hugs.
Denise i just wanted to add, i don't think you should be putting yourself through all these tests so early on in your recovery, plenty time for that, honestly having family over who drink heavily, is really not a good idea IMO, maybe you could postpone it, i compare it to dieting a little , when i am in the first early stages, it is madness for me to put myself in any situation where yummy food exists, now two weeks or more down the track, i am strong enough to say no, give yourself time sweetie, you are doing marvellous and one day at a time, one thing at a time is the best way to tackle it,don't make things so hard for yourself OK. :)
YOU ARE DOING GREAT! But we all just want to make sure you don't fool yourself and then slip back.
And you may believe that you are boring us, but if you forget to update us don't be surpised if we are pounding on your door. ;)
Hang in there. {{{{{HUGS}}}}
Thank you all once again.
Have got the tonic water in for when the relatives come over - could postpone it I suppose but that would mean alcohol running my life and I don't want that any more. All the time I'm thinking of drinking, even if its thinking of NOT drinking its still "in charge" and I'm stronger than that.
I truly understand what you are saying in your posts and they have all helped me see myself clearly for the first time in years. I am looking into where my local AA meetings are held and may pop along to have a chat - in the meantime this is day 5 without a drink :D
I think you are truely amazing, i am just worried for you, i think you are way too hard on yourself, drinking has controlled your life obviously from what you are saying, and it is not just a matter of saying it will not anymore, but i really admire your determination and courage, i really just have to say i think you are putting far too much temptation in your way,far too early on in the peace, you have to give yourself time to recover,it won't happen over night, i am sorry i don't mean to harp on about it or keep putting a downer on things for you because you are doing so exceptionally well, and should be proud, i am just concerned that you are being too brave if you know what i mean, going to an AA meeting is an excellent idea and i am sure you will get some expert advice there, in the meantime congratulations and keep at it, you really are a very strong person, and that will help you through it all a lot,just don't be frightened to reach out and ask for help, take care and all the very best.
The boss is going on holiday so its a tradition that we have a bottle of wine in the office on his last afternoon...............can't run away home as I've got tons of work to get done so I have asked for a bottle of tonic water instead. Ho hum....can't expect the world to change just for little old me :rolleyes:
Honestly, its like going on a diet and all you see is advertisements for chocolate!!!! :rolleyes:
LOL!! I know exactly what you mean, Denise!Quote:
Originally Posted by Brody's Mum
WOOHOO! Day 5 - good going, those 'one days' do add up in no time!
Denise, here's another bit or two from the "Big Book". My mom used to ask me why I kept going to meetings when I wasn't drinking any more(never mind that it is to help others and show them this thing works). I read to her what are called the 12 Promises of the Program, and I want to share them with you. If you work the steps the best you can, here you are:
"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves."
pp 83-84
Interesting how none of the above mentions alcohol - in fact, only Step 1 of the 12 mentions it! But the next paragraph touches on it a bit, and is another positive to look forward to(pp 84-85):
"And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in alcohol. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition."
Hugs
Catty1
My colleagues have just opened the wine
http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...0/Image171.jpg
:D :D 100% tonic water :D :D
Oh I love your drinks mat! Very stylish! If you pop over to the Thursdays Bar, they'll give you an ice cube and a slice of lemon for that, I'm sure. :D
I had to follow and say that you have such a neat coaster! Looks like that tonic water needs some ice to me, plus lemon or lime! :) I live in the southern US. Ice is very important to us (especially me)! LOL!!!! :D
Congratulations to you. You are taking it day by day, as you should. I am very proud of you.
Logan
Looks like a yummy glass of water :D I am really proud of you, you are doing so well. You have a lot of will-power, I'm not sure that I could do what you are doing. Great job!
Brody's Mum,
Way to go girl!! I'm proud of you! But do me and yourself a favor, when I quit drinking, after a while I convinced myself that I could "handle it". I'd have one glass of wine or one beer socially, and fooled myself into believing I could control it. My stupid thinking (or as they say in AA, "Stinkin Think") caused me to relapse. Soon, I was right back where I started, not rock bottom, of course. I'm just saying that your mind can play games with you. Be careful. Keep my number handy and CALL ME!!!
It's not 5 days, honey - it's one hour at a time! To show your seltzer knowing every one around you was opening the wine! Made it through that, huh? Good!
Tomorrow may be easy, might be hard. Just take it one moment at a time!
Cyber-hug!
This happened to me yesterday.
Came home from work (sober) and took Tobey for a walk and the thought just popped into my head "I like being sober"
I certainly like waking up not feeling ill and having no cringe inducing flashbacks to stupid things I said or did the night before........
Well done, feels real good doesn't it. ;) :)
Good for you! I'll be thinking of you tonight! Good luck! :D
I do too. Keep up the good work, One Day At A time, one hour at a time, five minutes, one minute, one second. There will be days when all you can do is hang on and root for midnight.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brody's Mum
You're doing well. Please do check out an AA meeting. The people there will help you get through the tough times, and there will be tough times. Life keeps on happening even after we get sober.
Sober is just too cool, I like it too. Life may not get better - but I do!
hugs
Catty1
I'm glad that you're doing so well. Being sober is the best.:)
Guests just gone and I'm sober. Did have one vodka and tonic but realised that I didn't really want it so switched to plain tonic water for the rest of the evening. I'm going to wake up feeling sooooooo good tomorrow :D
and my sister in law commented that I seemed to have so much more positive energy around me compared to the last time she saw me :D
PS face the ultimate challenge today - a day with the dragon-in-law while sober.... :eek:
In AA, my sobriety date is the date of my last drink, in case that reference point is useful for you.
If a person has alcoholism, this is where the mental obsession starts. It is not even in words, really. Just the keen sense at the back(large part of the back LOL) of the mind that tells an alcoholic that the 'one' worked out fine, so another will be totally ok, you just proved it...and that is the start of the snowball. You have "proved" you can control it. This happens automatically in a person with alcoholism...none of us do it on purpose.
A vague physical craving may have also been triggered; this craving doesn't occur in normal drinkers.
Combine the craving and the thinking, and it's a good recipe for relapse...they are also symptoms of the illness.
Just FYI
Catty1