It was 6 months ago today...

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Originally Posted by Glacier

It's a whole different kind of grief from a natural or accidental death. Six months is still a very recent loss. Be gentle with yourself.

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Ain't that the truth?! I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy (if I had one).

Thank you.

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Originally Posted by finn's mom

I don't think it ever becomes not confusing, why someone would feel that lost..

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I only wish I understood.

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Originally Posted by Karen

Your baby will have a grandpa, it's just that he's a grandpa baby won't get to meet. Baby will hear stories of grandpa, and know him through pictures and stories.

And your baby will have Pet Talk uncles and Grandpas to make up for it, too, okay?

Now, back to you. We will be here for you, the first year is awful, especially after a suicide. Every holiday seems to bring fresh reminders, questions and anger. But we'll be here for you, even when you just need to cry, or to vent.

We love you!

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Thank you! Really. This is why I love PT. You are the nicest people I've never met (face to face, of course). ;)

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Originally Posted by 4 dog mother

We think it may have been an accident.

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Unfortunately, we know that this is what he intended to do. He wrote a note, went to speak with a priest to be obsolved of all his sins, then rigged the garage door shut so no one would be able to get to him. He died of carbon monoxide poisoning. He knew exactly what he was doing.

God bless you and your family as well as I know what you all are going through. Also, thank you for sharing Rob's story.

Daisy & Deliliah, Casey's mom, Beenie's mom, Ginger's mom: Thank you. Your support means so much to me. :)

Corrina, thank you so much for sharing that very personal time of your life with me to help me with my grief. It does help me to understand. I, personally, have never had depression, thank God, so I have that much more difficulty understanding it. Hearing your perspective really helps me see what might have been going on inside his head.

luvofallhorses, JenBKR, moosmom and Laura's babies, thank you, too, for your prayers and support.

Maltese_Love, yes, your words do have an impact. I felt so much better after reading how many people are willing to send prayers and hugs my way in my time of need.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I feel so blessed to have found PT and even moreso that everyone here has welcomed me the way they have.

THANK YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. :o

i'm so sorry :( This must be such a hard thing to go through.
{{{{Hugs to you!}}}}

I will continue to pray for you and your family. Personally, I havent experienced it but have heard stories. Just remember to stay faithful. What ever obstacle is thrown at you is not an accident, God doesnt make mistakes. Therefore He will guide you through it. (Matt. 19:26 With man this is impossible but with God all things are possible) It is very important to stick with God through this, He knows everything, which is a comforting thought I think. Everything is in God's plan and it will all work out. Hugs, prayers and love sent your way!

~Rachel
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I can't say I know how you feel, because I haven't had that happen...yet (someone very close to me-a relative almost succeeded here recently).
I would be lost without her in my life as I'm sure you are without your dad.
Please just know we will always be here for you in your time of need.
{{{Loving Hugs}}}
Anna

Quite a few years ago now, my sister in law's father committed suicide. I will never forget the night that she called me. He was a big, tall, blustery kind of guy - always ready with a smile and a good joke or two. I had spent many an evening with he and his wife and enjoyed them immensely. They had worked hard all of their life in their own business and had successes.

At first I was so upset for my sis in law - and upset for my niece and nephew.
This was their Grandfather! Then I was angry - good and angry with him - how could he leave this legacy for his wife - his children and grandchildren?

But in time, I tried to understand. He had cancer - there was no hope - and he was already taking the strongest pain killers and morphine and it promised to get worse. He couldn't face that - and he didn't wish that on his wife.
So he took his own life.

A natural death is one thing - but suicide is just difficult to wrap yourself around and understand.

We are not in their heads - we don't know what they are thinking - how desperate they must be to chose this end. So it leaves us - the family and the friends numb.

My heart goes out to you - your child and of course, your Mom. You must feel abandoned - and indeed you have been.

This thing called Pet Talk - it brings so many different people together with so many experiences - and we can all put them in the pot and take a look at them. We are all in THIS together.

We won't let you down - and will help you in any way that we can.

I am so sorry for your loss - it will take time.............to heal.

I've never experienced suicide with anyone close to me. I can't imagine the feelings that go along with it. I'm sorry to hear about your dad :(

{{{{HUGS}}}}

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Originally Posted by gini

He was a big, tall, blustery kind of guy - always ready with a smile and a good joke or two.
...
We won't let you down - and will help you in any way that we can.

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My dad was a tall guy too. He was 6'3" lean and perfectly healthy. It was so hard for me to see a perfectly health man laying in a casket.

Thank you for your support.

Thank you to RobiLee, Anna, Rizzy and Sammy101 for your thoughts and prayers.

Last night as I was going through my mail, I received a letter from his estate attorney. The sale of his houses and vehicles and such was all complete. My inheritance is on the way. :( I would give every red sent and then some back for just one more day with him. :(

I can, however, take comfort in the fact that everyone said that when he found out he was going to be a grandpa, it was the last time anyone saw him smile. I made him smile one last time. He even held his head high, his shoulders back, hugged me and my hubby and said, "finally, some good news." He even laughed a little bit.

Remember the good times, I guess. Remember how he lived, not how he died.

I miss you, Dad!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b1...odeb/medad.jpg
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b1...deb/medad1.jpg

Your father was a very handsome man, its making me tear up looking at his picture.

Thank you. :)