Lilith's Story

Oh, Michelle {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}. So many of us have gone there before you, and can speak from experience. To this day, I suffer from the guilt of putting Binx to sleep, and that was nearly 1.5 years ago. It is easier today, much, but, it still hurts.

What you are feeling is so **normal**, so hard to deal with, so heartwrenching, and, psychologically speaking, a way for you to remain 'connnected' to your baby girl. A part of our psyche doesn't want to let go, and wants to stay in that moment, as painful as it is, because it keeps us connnected to our loss. You did the right thing by Lilith. The hardest thing to do, but, the right thing. Physical life is so temporary, even more so for the animals that we love. Time is your only friend right now, and I can't tell you when it becomes easier- as it is different for each one of us- but, it will become easier.

Cry. Cry, and then cry some more. It is cleansing. Cry for Lilith's life being cut way too short, for your loss, for your heartache. But, know in your heart, as we know in ours, you gave Lilith the ultimate gift a human can give its companion- you let her pass to the RB without suffering, and with much love. We all should be so lucky when it is our time to go. :(

Johanna

It is so hard to loose our babies to this dreaded disease. The suffering is horrible if prolonged. You did the right thing and be comforted in knowing she is well and playing at the bridge.

One of the hardest things I've ever done was to make the decision you had to make for Lilith. I did know he was sick for 3 years, controlled, but I vowed at the first sign of any discomfort or pain that is what I would have to do, not for myself but for him. It's a terrible decision to have to make, something that stays with you for the rest of time.

For most of us, our furkids are our only kids...you cant do this for humans only your furkids, it's foreign to us to make the decision that takes them away. I think that's one reason we have such difficulty with that, among others of course.

Even though it was the right decision it doesnt *feel* right, but having said that, I feel it's good we can spare them the eventuality of the suffering.

Believe that Lilith knows that your decision was the best for her, and believe that her love for you both can never die.

Cherish the time you had with her and most importantly keep her memory locked in your heart. They will be with you always.

Remember where a beautiful soul has been, there is a trail of beautiful memories.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

:( {{{{{hugs}}}}}

I can't imagine how very hard and painful this time is for you, but rest assured that you made the best and most humane decision for your baby girl. I know she is grateful for all the love and compassion you showed to her during her short life.

With every passing day, may your pain lessen, and gradually turn into fond memories that will shine into your heart and bring you happiness instead of tears. Crying helps the heart heal, so when you feel like crying, let those tears flow. The pain will lessen with the passing of time. I know it will. Hang in there and know that though the situation is very painful now, you made the right decision. May you find comfort in that too.

Michelle - I had to make the decision to euthanize my RB Bert many years ago - we lost him to cancer which was a large tumor in his chest and making it difficult for him to breathe.

I remember the terrible re-thinking, what if?? maybe I should have?? how about this??? ....and those thoughts that are probably haunting you right now. It took a very long time - but now I have very peaceful memories and am definitely very glad that he did not have to suffer any longer. Struggling to breathe is terrifying. Dying with your loved one holding him is what I am glad Bert experienced. My memories now are of picking up Missy at school, bringing her over to the vet, and together holding and comforting Bert as he simply stopped breathing.

Right now you have so many emotions working - you have just lost your little girl. I wish there was a way to erase those guilty feeling right now but they just keep coming anyway. But it does get much easier and there will be a time when you will know you did the most loving thing for Lilith. It takes lots of time though but each day is a tiny bit better.

Maybe in a few days, weeks, even months ...you can write to us about some of your memories of Lilith. I did not have PetTalk when I lost Bert and would have loved to have someone to tell about him to...

I can't really pretend to understand what you are thinking and going through - but some of it must be similar to what I went through - and what many of us here have had to do.

I am so sorry that you are so sad right now:(

Sweetheart, you did the only thing you could as you obviously loved your little girl too much to see her suffer.........true animal lovers (everyone on PT) can only admire you for being so brave and unselfish

Michelle, you made one of the most unselfish decisions a pet owner cat make. I know the pain must be unbearable but Lillith is now free of pain. ((((HUGS)))) You are a wonderful person and she knew nothing but love when she was alive. What a lucky kitty she was!

someone told me you came back and I had to check this thread - I am already sharing tears with you both..

I'm still so broken coming back here after what happened to your lilith. when your little angel (who meant so much to you means so much to me too) went gone, I didn't feel the pet talk or even my ark was the same as before. not at all. I couldn't come back for three days either. I came on just yesterday, hoping I find your threads/posts but nothing, and posted not more than 10 lately -- some goodness to stick around at least. I'm sorry if I was so heartbroken and couldn't know what to say & PM you but please know I thought, bleed about all of this for you four. I still couldn't believe it, how all of this happened so fast..

furrykidsmother just said it perfectly first, you had to do that, not this. please only allow yourself feeling guilty if you thought of yourself and tortured her, did you? you didn't, not a bit! we all know (especially lilith) you did more than you could do for her. you're questioning yourself because you never did wanted to let lilith go. not for a minute. I know what-ifs can be pain in the neck, but when a door is closed, there is another window open...you can't see it right now through the pure pain you're feeling right now, michelle.

in fact, I still have not seen a window open yet after I lost my boy kitty last year.. so please remember you're holding by me very close. and lilith is painfree, feeling bad you & guido couldn't hear her bell everytime she's running in her full speed, romping around with our rainbowfurriends in wildflowers up there,..oh how good does that sound? we all can't wait until we all meet again on a special day.

(((((MICHELLE))))), ((((GUIDO)))) & {{{{VIXEN}}}} ..we all love you always!!

..gina & the whole fuzzfaeries from ark

Michelle, I am so very sorry to hear about your sweet, sweet baby. :( From what I saw here on PT, You loved her so very much. May she RIP at the Rainbow Bridge.

Michelle, if anyone judges you for what you have done they are heartless.

You have done what is best for Lilith. It's a very hard decision to make and you needed to make it to stop your angel's suffering. You have nothing to say sorry for, I am positive Lilith is a very grateful kitty for the time you shared and the unselfish decision of letting her go, free from pain.

{{HUGS}} to you and I hope these days become easier.

There's no need to question what you did. I probably would have done the same thing. I'm sure Lilith knew how much she was loved and understands. Losing a special furry friend is hard. I'm sorry you had to make the choice. I had to make that important choice when I was a teen and my parents were out of town. It's one you never forget but it's also an act of love because it's done for such non selfish reasons. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just take one day at a time and soon you will be able to remember the happy times without being sad. We're all here for you if you need us.

THAT IS THE HARDEST THING,THAT A PET GUARDIAN,HAS TO FACE,WHEN YOU HAVE THE POWER,OF LIFE AND DEATH,OVER YOUR BELOVED FRIEND.
I HAVE,HAD TO MAKE THAT DECISION,A FEW TIMES,AND I STILL FEEL BADLY,OVER LOSING POUNCER,AND MR SCRAPPY,AND MR FLUFFY.
LILITH KNOWS THAT YOU MADE A DIFFICULT CHOICE,SHE LOVES YOU EVEN MORE,AND WILL SEE YOU AGAIN,ONE FINE DAY.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...Mrscrappy2.jpg

Michelle, you did that right thing. I know Lilith loved you so much! I have never lost a cat, but I lost a cocker 2 months ago. I am so sorry. :( Right now when I read this, it brings me to tears how god can take away someones baby so young in life. I followed your thread from the day you posted that you might have thought it was because of the rabies vacc. I am so sorry. I just wish i could give you a long hug. You did the most unselfish thing, and you should be proud of yourself for that. Any cat would be the most lucky cat for have an owner like you. ((((((HUGS)))))) PLEASE pm me or email me at [email protected] if you wanna talk about anything.

(((((more hugs))))) -Danielle and oreo

I have to once again say how amazing you people are. You always have the right words. You are always supportive and caring and at times like this it is appreciated more than you can imagine. You are some very fine people. And I am very thankful for finding PT and the wonderful people here. This would have been sooo much harder without you all. Thank you sooo much.


(((HUGS)))
Michelle

Michelle,
I've read this thread a few times, and am finally responding.

I mostly just want to echo what everyone has said, you did the right thing for Lilith, and you knew what would be best for her and she's pain-free now.

I am sorry that I haven't PMd, I have thought about it. I'm not good with words, at all, and am always afraid they will not come out the way I want them to.

I have been thinking about you and Guido everyday. I hope that you can realize that you both made the right decision for Lilith by letting her go without any suffering.

I am very glad to see you posting a little bit. I know you won't be around as much as usual for a bit, and I understand, but PT definatly is not the same without you, and your kind posts.

(((Hugs)))