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Hi Friends,
Well, I went to see Peeka today and she was still sitting facing the back of the cage. When she heard my voice, though, she started meowing, which was music to my ears because yesterday I couldn't get her to respond at all. She finally turned around on her own to face me, so I petted her and kissed her and rubbed her under her chin, which she loves. She's finally on an IV and is being hydrated. But she still hasn't had a bowel movement, so my vet is going to give her a light laxative. And she still hasn't eaten, so they're going to force feed her a little. (I held the food dish close to her nose and she sniffed it but no go.)
She became quite vocal after about half an hour, so I left because I didn't want to stress her. I know she thought that I came to take her home. I hated leaving her there w/that IV in and her leg all bandaged. She looked so sick and frail. And her brother Boo has become more needy than ever because I'm sure he's wondering where she is. Before I took her in to the animal hospital, he was whining, probably trying to tell me how sick Peeka was. I said to him "Go lie down next to your sister. She needs you to comfort her." Sure enough, when I checked a little while later, there he was, snuggled up next to her as close as he could get. It looked like one huge black cat! He's the man!
The results of the culture won't be back until tomorrow or Friday; then I'll know whether it's infectious kidney disease, which is treatable, or if her kidneys are shutting down. I can't keep her on dialysis at home. I won't put her through that and I'm working too many hours anyhow. She'd have no supervision. Right now, even though she's on the IV, her kidney levels are not improving, which is disheartening to both the vet and me. But miracles happen every day and I'm gonna keep on praying my way through this.
Thanx again for all your prayers and support and I'll keep you posted.
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I'm glad to hear she is starting to respond to the treatment. Hopefully she will continue to improve and will start eating soon.
Come on Peeka, you can do it!
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If well wishes and good thought could get her to recover then she has all the chances in the world. Everyone at PT are on her side and pulling for Peeka's recovery 150%. Come on Peeka. We know you can do it. With good medicine and all the love meowmie has for you and all of our support you can do it.
Let's go Peeka Let's go You have your own private cheering squad right here on PT.
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Wow, what a great bunch of friends we have here! I think I might sleep tonight. All my fur posse have their paws crossed for our Peeka Pie.
Blessings,
M
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Peeka has not improved. Her eyes are jaundiced which means her liver is affected and she still hasn't had a bowel movements even w/the laxative. And she won't eat. So I'm going to take some chicken in to her, her favorite, and see if I can get her to eat. Still no results from the culture; expect later today or tomorrow. I don't know...am I doing the right thing? I want to give her every chance but I don't want to keep her around for my own selfish reasons. I want her last days to be peaceful, not filled w/pain, sitting in a cold cage w/no comfort. The vet and his staff are doing their best for her but I can't stand the thought of it ending there. It's one thing if I knew for sure that she was coming home. But this is heartbreaking.
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Mary, don't give up. You are right, miracles happen everyday. Wait and see what the results are. We are all pulling for you and Peeka. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
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I'm not giving up. I can't do that to my old girl. But she's deteriorating. I cooked some chicken and took it in to her, still warm, but she wouldn't touch it. She kept eding closer and closer to me til she was clear to the front of the cage. I just stroked and petted her and talked to her and that calmed her down. Dr. said I could hold her because that seemed to be what she wanted but he didn't come in til right when I was about to leave. I didn't want to hold her then and get her stressed again. By the time I did leave, she wouldn't look at me and when I would turn her head to see her face, she'd turn away. Poor little girl. I miss my little tailless wonder and feeling her little tap tap tap on my arm when she wants a bite of my chicken. I'm so used to seeing her lying in the sun, moving every time the sunbeams do so that she doesn't miss one bit of the warmth. To add to all this stress, I lost a big account today, a major part of my income and I'm going in for jaw reconstruction and bone graft surgery myself a week from Monday and my ins. co. declined payment because they consider it a preexisting condition. So now not only do I have to pay for that but the vet bills as well and my income just dropped. Not the best of days.
M
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Mary, I know you don't want to give up on her, but it sounds like if you don't want her last days to be in a cold cage, maybe you should bring her home.:( If she hasn't eaten in days, there is nothing to come out - laxative or no laxative. Once they don't eat for a few days, the other organs start shutting down, and that sounds like what is starting to happen with her.
Go to her and hug her to pieces and reassure her that you love her and will miss her dreadfully. :(
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I talked to the dr. about bringing her home and he said "If you mean that you'd like to bring her to see her home one last time, you could do that. Let her be reunited w/all your other pets. But if you mean to bring her home so that she can die at home, I would not recommend that. It would be way to uncomfortable for her. It would not be a good way for her to go." So, I'll wait for the culture results so that I don't short change her. But I don't know if I have the emotional strength to bring her home, then take her back to end it. I'm in such turmoil over this. I want to do right by Peeka but I don't want her to suffer unnecessarily. If I found out that it's infectious and I ended it, I could never forgive myself. But if I find out that it isn't and that she's shutting down and I dragged this thing on, I'll feel awful about that, too. This isn't about me or my pain. It's about my Peekie and her pain. I wish I could close my eyes and make it all go away for her.
M
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Peeka and you are in my prayers.
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I know exactly what you're going through, Mary, because I had to make the same decision with Tubby. The vet said his prognosis wasn't good and his blood levels were "everywhere." I could take him home and he might have lasted a day, an hour, a week, or who knows how long. He also said he didn't recommend that because if the organs are shutting down, he could die in any number of ways, some of which would be quite painful. He had been doing so well that I thought this was just a minor setback and the vet would give him a shot and I could take him back home again. Didn't happen. :( Like you, I couldn't keep him around for my own selfish reasons and I had to let him go. :(
If the tests come back that it's not infectious, go to her, hug her to pieces, tell her you love her and will always remember her...:(
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I know the heartache you are going through right now. I am thinking of you and know you will do what is best for your Peeka. Prayers and {{{{{hugs}}}}} on their way.
Nicki x
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Thanx, friends, it's difficult for me to read even encouraging words right now. All I've done is have crying jags all day. Every time I think I'm dry, the tears flood again. I have to get ready to go to a funeral home tonight. One of my best friends lost her dad. This is a day that I definitely want to put to bed.
M
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Mary, it seems that you are going through the worst time imaginable. My heart breaks for you and Peeka. Please know that you are both thought of and we wish only the best for you both. A special prayer will be said for both of you tonight. I had to make the decision once with one of my babies and my mother did too. Mine was many years ago and I still think of her and remember her as a healthy happy little kitten and the antics that she pulled (her name was Tasha) and also my Mom, not a day goes by that she doesn't think of her special furry baby Magic. Sometimes the decisions we make are very hard, but we have to do what is right although it is hard not to be selfish. Know that we are here for you and lets hope for the best. Good thoughts and prayers are being sent to you! You have lots of friends here at PT and we are all pulling for you!
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You really are having a very sad unfortunate time this week, it's all come at once. I can sense your overwhelm and misery. I am so sad for you. If it should come to you helping her across the RB with the vet, would you feel better if it was at home? I had to make a similar decision once, the cost became immaterial, the cost to the emotions (hers and mine)was what counted. There will come a time when your heart will tell you what is right for you and for Peeka, right now I guess it's the dilemma stage -just holding her and cuddling her at the vets sounds good right now. Be strong, we are all here for you. Being able to cry is what keeps us strong. Stay in touch if you feel able. Best wishes.
