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Tonya...you reminded me of something that happened last week. While searching for a dog at the shelter there were 2 dogs mounting each other, my 13 year old was mortified, she said isn't that going to teach us bad stuff? Her friend and my 12 year old I guess is what she was referring to. It was funny!
I said well they are animals and they can act on those urges...
LOL. Roxy always mounts Dusty when he's getting to much attention. (I know, backwards. :rolleyes: ) Jaden said not to long ago "Roxy, stop humping Dusty!" I was mortified. I was like "Where did you learn that word?!"
Anyways, we had a detailed talk about dogs and breeding. So he understands that aspect. But I can't bring myself to tell him that mommy and daddy do that too. lol.
I gave him some B.S. story when I first got pregnant about how God takes an egg from daddy and puts it in mommy. But I think I owe him the truth. It's better he learns it from me then the older kids on the bus.
Sounds like Jaden needs a trip to the farm!
I to agree with debbie , but to answer popcorns question t. If you have been truthfull and honest about every thing else in their life ,the beleive you and will not see the need to experance it.
My mom was a nurse and from the old school but she didn't want me uninformed or misinformed . She started out just as I did explaining that it was a wonderful way we are made but it was to be a private conversation as many people have different ideas about it. as to when ,how and what to tell thier children. (i was very inquizitive and ahead of my class mates) . But if I had questions please as her don't always believe what I heard from other kids. I was 8 at the time. I was raised on a farm so it wasn't like I didn't have some Idea.
I think it all depends on what the child asks , some times its just a vague question but if it is fallowed but others its time . If not then it may not be time.
We have faith in our home so we have a written moral code in our lives , I would like to know how those who don't fallow the bible inforce a moral code.
If another reilgon what does your say and how to you apply it to this subject?
Tonya if you think he doesn't have an idea about dad and Mom I garentee your mistaken. If hes using those terms. Sounds like Dad needs to have the talk with him. Are you allowing him to be around for the birth? If so you really need to talk before.
I don't think they would allow him to be in the room, so I don't think he'll be around for the childbirth. He knows where babies come from. We squared that question away. His response was "Ewwww." It is just the sex part that we left out.
Oh, BTW, we recently got on the subject of breast feeding. He was sort of shocked about it and I told him that I'd breastfed him. He got all embarrassed, then after a few minutes of thinking he goes "No you didn't. I totally remember. I am totally sure you didn't. You must be confused mommy." He was trying so hard to convince me that he wasn't breastfed. lol.
Sounds like hes not quite ready. I thought most all hospitals were allowing family births now. My 2 were so close in age(22 months) we just let daughter stay at grandmas.but her brother was less than an hour old when she saw him for the first time.
This topic has two sides to it.
There is the 'mechanical' and the 'responsible' issues.
You can tell your kids how it works mechanically....
The Man buys the Women flowers, dinner and a ring and 9 months later she has a baby......
Did I mention Chocolates???;)
AND you have to work into the convo the part about marriage, love and the fact that it's a huge responsibility...
One thing that I learned early is that you have to teach a child RESPECT for their body and also the other person's body.
You can seriously screw up a kid by giving them the 'Dirty/God sees you all the time/This is your pee pee' lecture.
You'll see and know how much info your kids can process at the age when they start asking questions. It is the start of their self awareness and they will be able to handle just enough of the facts......too much, you'll freak them out, not enough, they'll experiment to get the rest.
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And be prepared to have your child walk up to an adult and say to them something like...
"I have a penis" or "Do you have a penis?'
Or how's about the old favorite....
"I know how my mommy gets a baby!"
We ALL do, kid.....the stork drops them off in the chimeny!!!!
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One thing that does bug me, even at my age, is the way that S-X
is portrayed in the movies....It's always that frantic rutting that
none of us could ever pull off....I guess when you act and get paid millions, it is easier to make it look good......But it's a bad example for today's kids......They'll think it's OK to just jump into the sack with someone....
Just think of all the chocolate and flower vendors that are going to go out of business!!!!! ;)
I grew up in the 50's and back then there was no such thing as "ask your Mommy", at least not in my house. I first learned about it in grade 6 when they had that "You're growing up" film. Then I learned about it from friends and friends of friends. Finally, I figured out what all the noice coming from my Mom and Dad's bedroom was. My brother found some playboy magazines under dad's side of the bed one time. We mulled over them for a bit and made sure to put them back in the exact same place. LOL
I was NOT informed and yet I had a couple of "experimental years" that I regret. Whether you are brought up with "down there" or "pee pee" or "penis", if a teen want to experiment, they will do it regardless. I do believe, however, that if parents talk openly to their children about it (when they are ready to talk about it), they will be more likely to make smarter decisions when the time comes.
Now that I'm older, I can talk to my Mom about ANYTHING including sex....but don't get me started on that. The things that woman comes out with would curl your.....oh never mind......:eek: :D
I think you should teach the child early, or else their friends in school will. That's how i found out. I was about, 6 or 7 when i FIRST heard about sex. I found out from the boys and girls in my school....
My mom never gave me the "sex talk".. I suppose she figured i already knew.
I would have LIKED for her to have talked to me about it, when i was around 10 or so, so that way i would know exactly what went on etc, whereas the kids from school told me all sorts of things oh gosh, i can't even remember all of the crazy things they said.
My little brother is CONSTANTLY asking questions to my mom, he's 11, and he learns EVERYTHING from school.. He once asked my mom if the loger you had sex, determined how tall or short the baby was.. My mom seems completely comfortable with telling him this stuff, but i think she should have sat him down, told him whats "To come" etc...
I think it was alot easier with me... My parent's just mentioned here and there "You can't have sex now that your offically a WOMAN" :p
Although we did have sex education in school.. I first had it in 5th, and then had it in 8th, and will be having it again this year.. Every year it gets more detailed... :p
So, to answer your question, I think sex education should be taught at an early age, and i think parents should answer if they're children ask, open and honestly.
But that's just my opinion.
Just wanted to add something I found interesting here. I just got off the phone with my daughter Missy in Japan (she's 20, married and pregnant so obviously knows something) and was telling her about this thread. She said she never remembered having any sex talks at all:D Nothing!! Well, I find this both hysterical AND wonderful because she was so curious and full of technical type questions but I guess I managed to pull it off like we were discussing the weather because she never knew we were having a "sex talk"!! I think she probably knew all the dynamics by age 7 or 8. That is the whole idea. I DO remember some questions where I had to gulp and compose myself first, but guess I managed to answer without blushing:p Whew!!
Now, I will have to check with my sons, and see what THEY remember:rolleyes:
I know my parents never told me anything, and I never asked, I mean when I was little I asked where I came from, my dad said I came from my moms tummy, and that they had to cut her open to take me out. I did not care about anything else. I did not learn about any of it till grade 4, where we learned about it some weird class all the catholic schools had lol and to be honest I have never really cared, and I have always found it to be an uncomfortable subject, probibly because I did not develop till WAYYY after everyone else, its kind of emabarising when the teachers are talking about your period and such assuming everyone already has it, when I did not get it till my second year of high school, when they dont teach about the stuff anymore lol all my friends that are yiounger then me know all this stuff about sex that I have never heard of before, BUT I would rather hear it from my friends then my parents. why? because I am not comfortable around my parents, I honestly dont trust them, I have been given no reason to trust them, and plenty of reasons not to, so why would I want to talk about something like that with them?
A few funny stories to relate...
I remember very little about "the talk" with my mom. We must have had them because we now talk about sex quite a bit. I do remember when I was about 11 or 12 my parents showed me a cartoon video teaching me about sex. I guess I started asking questions so they decided it was time to teach me a bit more. The cartoon was done fairly well and was very appropriate. However, at the beginning there was a bathtub with a man and a woman in it and LOTS of bubbles. There was a little yellow ducky floating around in this bathtub. He would duck under the water and pop back up with this shocked expression on his face. The people stood up and they were covered in bubbles-you couldn't see anything. The narrator is talking and is explaining the different body parts and how they are different. As he mentions each body part, the duck blows the bubbles off of the appropriate area. The video goes and gets into some more details about sex. To this day, whenever I see a rubber ducky, I think of this movie and get freaked out!!! I tease my mom on how she scarred me for life! LOL!!
Another one, when my students found out I was pregnant there were several questions. I worked in the inner city, so the kids are used to a lot of differences in appearances. Both my husband and I are VERY pale. My students were not. One little boy asked me if my baby was going to be brown or white. I told him that the baby wasn't here yet so we would just have to wait and see. It was so sweet because at that age they don't notice color. This same little boy came up to me the next day and informed me that I was going to be dissected. I was quite confused and asked him to explain. He told me that in order for me to get my baby, the Dr's would have to dissect me and take the baby out! He was born by C-section!
Just thought I would share the cute stories!
Quote:
Originally posted by chrangharris
As he mentions each body part, the duck blows the bubbles off of the appropriate area.
:confused:
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And when you really want to keep your sons as innocent as possible, take them to PARIS!!!!
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Paris too lazy for sex
Paris Hilton claims she's "too lazy" to have sex and would rather just kiss.
The 23-year-old hotel heiress tells Rolling Stone magazine, "I'm not a sexual person, really. I don't really care about sex. If I'm in a relationship, we don't even do anything, really. We just watch TV. I'm too lazy. I'd rather kiss."
Hilton's former boyfriends include Rick Salomon, Tommy Hilfiger model Jason Shaw and Backstreet Boys' singer Nick Carter.
The third series of her hit reality show The Simple Life with Nicole Richie is due to begin airing in the US next month.
I kind of agree with popcornbird....
Growing up, I was never given any lectures about it. I mostly learned about it in school. I hate talking about it. Maybe having the talk would have been good for me, but I'm a shy person and talking about it would have made me feel really embarassed and uncomfortable. :o But I remember in junior high, I was like.. 11 or 12, some of my classmates picked on me and made fun of me because I didn't know what certain stuff meant.. :( But I didn't want to know that stuff then anyway. I was more interested in other things... like my future, dogs, etc..
So I guess it depends on the kid. Some people need to learn about it early, while others can learn about it a little later..
chrangharris, I am tempted to search for that video. I gotta see it. lol. It sounds so cheesey!