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When I am feeling like this Carole, I also look around at what I have in my life. My two wonderful, loving sons. My beloved pets who give me unconditional love and I also read this often:
..................................FORGIVE ME LORD...............................
Today, upon a bus, I saw a lovely maid with golden hair. I envied her, she seemed so gay and wished I were as fair. When suddenly she arose to leave, I saw the cruel braces as she hobbled down the aisle; a victim of polio was she. But as she passed, a smile. Oh God forgive me when I whine. I have two straight feet. The world is mine!
And then I stopped to buy some sweets. The lad who sold them had such charm. I talked with him, He smiled. He said to me, "It's nice to talk with folks like you. You see, i'm blind."
Oh God, forgive me when I whine. I have two eyes. The world is mine!
Then walking down the street, I saw a child with eyes of blue. He stood and watched the others play. It seems he knew not what to do. I stopped a moment, then I said, "Why don't you join the others dear?" He looked ahead without a word and then I knew he could not hear. Oh God forgive me when I whine. I have two ears. The world is mine!
With feet to take me where i'd go, with eyes to see the sunset's glow, with ears to hear what I would know, oh God forgive me when I whine. I'm blessed indeed.
The world is mine.
Author Unknown
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That is a beautiful story and so true.....I will try to keep it in mind.:)
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I don't if this is even the same as what happened to you but I want to tell you that one of my problems right now is also a betrayal of a friend/family member and it's killing me. I know that things will never be the same again in this case and it is hard to accept. This is not one of those things that a I'm sorry can fix. There are somethings in life that you can't control as much as you wish you could. So I undersatnd 100% your hurt and maybe even anger, if this case.
Don't ever be embarrassed about posting your true feelings or thinging that you sound like your asking for sympathy the people here on PT know better. Sometimes you just have to post or write down your feeling in any form, just to release them. And along the way you find out that there are so many other that care about you, that always has to help if just a little bit.
Hope it all works out for you the way you want.
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Carole, don't forget I'm here for you. You can talk to me ANY time!
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Carole,
Been there MANY times!! I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.
Whenever I get to feeling like that (I call it MY "personal pity party") (keep in mind I am by NO MEANS insinutating YOU are having a pity party) , I go to church down the street and pray, balling my eyes out. I feel cleansed after that, even though the puffy red eyes are dead give away that I've been crying. Before I was diagnosed with Chronic Clinical Depression, I'd sleep, stay in my jammies and not leave the house for days. It was all part of the disease. I'm now on Paxil and feeling okay, although I'd rather be in CT.
Betrayal is like having your heart ripped out and stepped on. When I found out I was betrayed by my SIL, I was also devastated, because I would tell her things I wouldn't tell anyone. THAT'S when I decided it was time to go back to CT where my REAL family and friends are (as well as here on PT). I'm still working on it, might take me some time, but I have that goal in my head and it keeps me from having another pity party.
Another thing I do is say the Serenity Prayer:
God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you my dear Carole. We ARE all here for you and want you to know that.
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I can relate...I went thru something in July...probably totally different scenerio but devestating to me just the same...betrayal...heart break...and will never get over it..but am dealing with it best I can. That is also when I got Gracie, July 31st...and she has been THE BEST medicine...I know its not her responsiblity to heal my heart..but she sure has helped!
To keep my mind occupied at home..which is where I think about it all most...I am lost in these websites...they have also helped me more than I can say.
I have also journalized my feelings some..can't say it helps...but I do it when I get the most angry and it helps to at least put it down into words (I type it on the puter)
~hugs
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Just remember that others have things worse than you do. Some people don't have a home or enough money to buy our every day needs. I'm sure your down now... when your'e whole world seems to come crashing down... (this is my part) ... it is up to others to help you turn it around. (okay it is kind of cheesy) I hope my advice helped you. Good luck!
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I know what you are feeling and i am going through it at the moment :(. I have just arrived home from partying with the most awesome people (My friends) and feel slightly better, so that is what i do.
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I would have given the same advice as Slick.
Plus: take it slowly, one day at a time or one hour at a time. Try to do some things you really like like listening to your favorite music, take a hot bath with something that smells good ...
Don't forget there are things you like and you can do- even if you are alone.
All the best for you:)
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Oh what a difference a day can make. I try to remember that, and know, chances are, tomorrow will be a better day. If not a better day, at least one day further away from the hurt. One day closer to 'feeling better'..even if that day is still far off in the future.
I have heard that reaching out, and helping another person is also helpful...
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Carole, you started this thread yesterday. How are you today? I'm concerned.
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Thank you to everyone, every single word has entered my fuzzy head, and helped a lot.
I feel better today, I have tried to put it into perspective, and tell myself it could be worse, and I am on the road to forgiveness and helping this person who made me feel this way.
I went shopping yesterday, just to help cheer myself up, picked up a little trinket I had on layby for my daughters xmas, a gorgeous heart shaped sterling silver necklace, and then we chilled out and watched a movie together, some teenage drama queen movie, was kinda silly movie, but just the kind i needed, light-hearted and funny in places.
My kitties always help me along the way, I look at them, and know they will never betray their mummy,no wonder I love them so much.
One just has to get on with life and make the best of it don't we?
Thanks so much for your concern and help, I just took a break away from PT yesterday, can't get rid of me that easy lol. look even a try at pitiful humour , now that's a good sign , right?
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{{HUGS}}} Carole. It's true, a little time away from Pet Talk can be a good thing. Sooner or later we realize what we are missing and make our way back. :)
Glad to hear you are feeling better. That necklace sounds gorgeous. I'm sure your daughter is going to love it.
Betrayal is a hard thing to get over. I'm afraid I've been in your shoes but the forgiveness part never happened. Just couldn't bring myself to do it. So I've lost a few friends along the way; I've gained many more through Pet Talk.
Chin up girl and remember we are always here for you.
slick
xo
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Carole, that is GREAT that you're getting over this! I'd rather see you upbeat like this, not like you were a couple days ago. Can't keep a beautiful lady like you down!
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I guess when my world comes crashing down, I tend to lean on or towards the people I do trust and know will be there for me. Family or friends or PT. PT is always a excellent place, because we all care for each other.
Whatever happened, I hope time will heal all involved. I'm sorry you're down and I'm sorry life can get so bad sometimes.
One thing I tend to repeat to myself endlessly is that things only happen for some reason. You will eventually be able to look back upon a situation and will see what you've gained from it, and I hope it will only be good.
My mom tells me, "and this too, shall pass" and that comforts me. It helps to look at a calendar, physically get up and look at the days, weeks, months. Pick a date where you know things will be healed and better. It truly helps to put it in that perspective, to know IT WILL PASS and that life will go on, as will you, but a different and stronger person.
Please take care and know we're here for you.
Love, Kelly :)
P.S. Somehow, shopping ALWAYS makes me feel better. Oh, lots of chocolate too. ;)