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Kelly, we need to talk on AIM. I'm in a very, very similar boat with 8 cats and 5 dogs. Also dealing with pancreatitis, mange, and some other minor illnesses among them.
Anyway, I want to talk to you so pm a time or something when you can be on.
Hang in there!
One more thing...I will be saying prayers that this is all resolved soon. You love your babies, and you love your husband. We feel the need to protect the furbabies at all costs so you don't even get the chance to express your frustration over Phoebe's peeing problem because you don't want to anger him. A lot of us totally understand! I hope you feel better soon.
Prayers and HUGS are on the way!!
Oh Kelly, I'm so sorry to hear about this! I too, am hoping it is only temporary, and that she'll stop this behavior soon. I can't exactly blame David for being upset. I know I would be too, and I LOVE cats! We all get frustrated at times, and sometimes take the anger out on those we shouldn't, unintentionally. Hang in there! You have such a big heart to take so many needy kitties in, and I'm sure God will help! Tell David to be patient, and not get too upset. I know it must be hard to handle so many animals in a small apartment. I know I wouldn't be able to do that. You're amazing that you have taken so many kitties, while living in a small home. Obviously, you do this out of your love and care for them. Good luck! You'll be in my prayers! I wish I could be any help, but I haven't had much kitty experience in my life yet, so I don't know what to say, other than I'll be praying for you! {{{hugs}}} Please don't let this get in the way of the relationship between you and your husband. Hopefully you can both discuss and find a good solution, that's best for both of you, as well as the kitties. He did accept the fact that you got the kitties in the first place, so I think he should be more accepting of them than he is. If he wasn't ready, he shouldn't have allowed you to add to the kitty herd in the first place. :( I'm sure there will be a way out.
Oh Kelly, I am so sorry things are not going well :(
I agree that it would be best to rehome Emma if the eye surgeon still wants him.
I don't know what to suggest about Phoebe, I believe in fate, if you are meant to keep her you will, else a new home will be found. Good Luck either way.
Re...David, I need to repeat Cataholic's quote.
As David allowed you to adopt these cats, this is a commitment you both made together. The time to object to any cat, was pre-adoption not now.Quote:
Originally posted by Cataholic
Either he stays with you, and deals with the fact you have cats, or he doesn't. It isn't fair to you for him to accept it sometimes, and then be resentful others. You could have a far worse 'problem' then being too compassionate about cats.
In light of your current situation, I spoke to Steve about our cats (As I have a tendancy to be very stubborn at times)
When I asked his about whether we agreed about the adoption of our cats. He said "Well, you didn't want Bramble, at first" Which is true, not that I would be without her now.
I know Steve wasn't 100% behind adopting Sandy, he thought Sandy would remain very angry (which is funny considering that Sandy prefers him to me.)
But at the shelter I said it was his decision because if I get run over tomorrow, I didn't want Sandy to end up at another shelter :(
David, has to realise that these cats are family and need to be treated as such. But I am sure he spoke those words out of anger, as when you post about him, he comes across as jointly caring for your cats ?
We are here, if you need to talk.. Sending Prayers and positive thoughts your way. :)
Things are much better now. Phoebe is still in the closet for when we aren't able to keep an eagle eye on her, but is now sleeping on our now freshly washed quilt next to David on the couch.
We've cleaned the entire apartment so she wont find anything other than the carpet and couch to pee on. Something she hasn't (and I doubt she will) attempted.
All their toys are drying on the counter tops, awaiting some more Frebreeze tomorrow morning. All cats are asleep after a marathon playing session. ;)
We've decided its best to rehome the babies after their surgery. We'll begin looking for homes now, but wont let them go anywhere until they are healed.
We're going to ask the eye surgeon if she still wants Samson at his next appointment in two weeks. And....see if she wants Phoebe as well. I know that once she see's her, she'll fall in love with her too.
I have a huge request. Please, please, please pray that whatever homes arise, that they are perfect for these little ones. It'll rip my heart out when we have to hand them over, but its necessary. I want my quiet, clean home back, as well as my totally happy kitties.
David apoligized for his unkind words and for being grumpy. Now that I've calmed down and have finally eaten, I know that if I were him, I'd be pretty mad too. His softball bag, equipment and glove were covered in pee...and we'll have to buy him a new glove as soon as we can.
Anyway, thanks for being her for me with your kind words and advice. :) You are all better than family, you're my PT friends.
Love you all!!!
I am glad to hear, most importantly, that you and your husband have "made up", and have an understanding now. It can be a very stressful situation having a pet mess in the house. I know, we are just about done potty training Dale, but it was a hard few months with him and it stressed my husband and I out on more than one occasion.
I know how hard it is to have to rehome a pet also. But if i had never rehomed Gabe, he never would have had the chance to live out the rest of his life with Greamer and Miley (and mommy SAS), the best things to happen to him...he would have missed out on it...Knowing that your cats will find great homes (b/c you will be careful of who you adopt them out to)...you and your husbands relationship can heal a little, which is most important out of all of this, in my opinion...so just know that rehoming does sound like the best thing for your entire family...which matters most...and maybe their next family can keep in touch with you and send updates, so you can know (how i had the luck in knowing about Gabe)...how they are, and how perfect their new homes are for them. I think everything will work out fine...and all parties included will be content. (((((HUGS)))))
I also wanted to add just in case anyone thinks, that I am NOT condoning his anger or temper tantrum or pounding on the door. But I am glad that he has apologized and things are better.
Good luck and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Kelly I am happy to hear that things have calmed down a little and that you and David have patched things up.
I wish had had something that would make it all work, but I don't. I just wanted to offer my support to you.
Prayers and good thoughts for you David and the kitties.:)
Sounds like a bunch of good news, Kelly!
Won't the surgeon be surprised to find out that Emma ...is really Samson the boy-kat! Heeheehee! :cool:
I'm thinking you should tell her....
"Well, I know you were interested in adopting little girl-kat Emma, however, this kitty turned out to be Samson the boy-kat...but we don't want you cheated out of a sweet girl-kat so Samson comes as a package deal with his adorable sister Phoebe!" :o
It just might work! :p
Praying (HARD!) that the best of homes will be found for these delightful darlings!
Kelly, I'm all worn out just from reading this thread, so I can only imagine how drained you are. Hugs to you, David and the kitties.
From what I have read, re-homing Samson and Phoebe sounds like the most sensible option. Phoebe is using her bladder and bowel to lash out in her own way because she isn't happy, and your home situation is being affected. I wish it wasn't like this, but it is, so I'll send you as many positive thoughts as I have and hope they help the little ones when it's time for them to be re-homed.
I know what it's like with your husband, am going through something similar at times when the pups are being right devils. I feel sometimes that maybe I pressured Shane into getting dogs, or we took the step too early, or 100 other guilty thoughts, but I have learned to tell him to pull his head in, shut up and go for a walk until he cools off. Animals behave in certain ways for a reason, and us getting angry doesn't do a damn thing to help ... send me a PM or e-m if you want to chat, OK?
Kelly, I'm glad to hear that you and David have made up. I also think that rehoming Phoebe and Emma is the best solution for everyone. I know it'll be hard but I'm sure everything will work out in the end. Hopefully the eye surgeon will be able to adopt both kittens. Please take care and know that we're always here for you. {{{HUGS}}}
Kelly I'm so sorry to hear about all this :( It sounds like Bassett, when she gets in a bad mood - she shows her displeasure by peeing in/on things as well. Are you sure it isn't health related? If it was, that would make things SO much easier on you both.
I don't really have any advice, just know I'm praying for you guys :)
Naomi
It made me so sad that I've found this thread this morning...
As being a one cat household I can't offer any advice, but be sure you (two-legged and four-legged) are all kept in my prayers...
I know we women often get very emotional about our cats and their needs, sometimes too emtotional for the men (husbands) to bear it...I guess it was just an overreaction with David...and I am glad to read that you've talked about it and came to a solution...
Whatever you've decided about your felines it will be to their best...there are always ups and downs in every relationship, but you can stand every test when you talk about it and find a solution together!!!
Sending best wishes and {{{{{HUGS}}}}} ,
Sabine
Oh Kelly - I've just read through the whole thread and I feel as if I've been through a wringer. What you've been through is just too stressing for words.
I'm pleased you and David have made up, being angry isn't going to help the situation one bit. Men seem to lash out verbally very quickly without being aware of the hurt they do us.
I'm sure the answer is getting Emma/Samson and Phobeb re-homed.
As I was reading through I kept thinking of Gabe and his lovely, happy move to Graemer and Miley - maybe, just maybe your two babies weren't meant to stay with you for always.
I know it's been a hard time for you, the furbabies and David - so {{{Hugs}}} and nose kissies are flying over the miles to you all.xxxx
Lynne
Im glad to hear that your kitties are doing better. And Im sure your little kitties will find a great home! Who can resist a fluffly little furball with 4 legs? :)