A Day In Your Dog's Life...

A day in the life of Jake:

It's 7:00 am and I'm laying by the back door, so that I can enjoy the little bit of cold wind that comes under it, cooling my layers of warm fur. I'm so comfortable, I just want to lay here forever - but I have to pee soooooo bad! So - I slowly get up and walk through the house and up the stairs to Mom's room and up to her bed and say "Hrumph". I see her stir and roll over, but she's not up yet so I say "Hrumph" again. My bladder's about to burst, and I'm losing my patience so I start barking and prancing about until she gets up to take me out, or asks somebody else to do it.

Of course - since I'm going out Max just HAS to go out, doesn't he? The big dumb jerk. He bumps into me at least 7 times on the way out to the run, and gets in the way when I'm trying to go through the door. I walk to the end of the run furthest away from him and lift my leg. Ahhhhhhhh! Relief! It's so nice and cold out here, I don't want to go inside. I crawl into my private favorite place under the house to enjoy the weather for a little while.

I like to watch the people walking by, from my spot under the house. They don't know I'm here. I stay quiet, unless they have a dog - then I bark a few times just to say "hello".

It's getting chilly. I'm ready to go in, so I let Mom know by barking continuously until she comes out to get me. Of course since I'm coming in Max just HAS to go in too, doesn't he. Big dumb jerk. He bumps into me at least 7 times on the way in, and manages to step on my feet two or three times. Clumsy mutt.

Inside, I get my first bowl of food for the day and - woo hoo! - Max gets locked up in his crate so we can eat separately. I take my own sweet time slowly savoring my food so that Max will be out of the way for the longest possible time. When I'm finished I lay back down by the back door, so Mom won't realize I'm done and maybe she won't let Max back out again so soon.

I wake up from a light snooze - do I hear somebody in the kitchen? Maybe they'll drop something! I hang around and watch. No such luck. Maybe they'll put a can or something in the garbage without rinsing it first. Nope - they're getting pretty stingy with the food. I've lost 4 lbs lately!

I think I'll go lay down in front of the couch now. I wake up from a light snooze again to hear somebody in the kitchen. This time I get lucky when a morsel of ham falls on the floor for me.

Now I'll lay down in front of the front door. I think I hear the kids home from school, but I don't feel like getting up to check it out.

I see Mom coming down the stairs. She has her shoes on, so it must be walk time. I get up and stretch and wait quietly as she puts the leashes on Max and I. On our way out to the truck, Max bumps into me at least 7 times. Big dumb dog.

When we get to the trail I tag along behind Mom - no reason to put out any more energy than I absolutely have to. I enjoy walking slowly and smelling all the different stories. I just have to try to stay out of Max's way as he bounds up and down the trail. Big dumb dog.

Back from the trail - it's time for a nap. I think I'll sleep by the back door again this time. I sleep very well for an hour or two o- pooped out from the long walk. I wake up when I hear somebody in the kitchen. No luck - nobody dropped anything. Back to the back door for another nap.

My bladder wakes me up. Full again. Mom's painting - I go up to her and let out my usual quiet "hmph" which, as usual, doesn't work so I bark and prance around. She puts the leashes on and takes us out. Max bumps into me at least 7 times on the way out. It's freezing out so I want to come back in immediately. Mom waits by the fence until I finish and brings us back in. Max bumps into me at least 7 times on the way in. Big dumb dog.

Once inside, we get our second bowl of food for the day. I slowly savor the food and the knowledge that Max is locked in the kennel. Mom calls me and makes me lay down while she brushes me. I love to be brushed, except when she brushes my butt. I hate that. It makes me irritable. But when she's done she pets me all over to apologize, and I like that. Mom eventually lets Max out of the kennel and he follows her and Dad up to bed. He'll sleep by their bed all night. The suck-up. I'll stay here and enjoy the cool draft from under the door until my bladder wakes me up again in the morning.

Ouch! What's that in my face? It's Jake stepping on me while he's waking Mom up, the little twerp. Paybacks are hell.

I stand up and streeeeeeetch and yaaaaaaawn and look at Mom lovingly. I put my head on her neck for a big long hug. I can read her mind - she's thinking about taking me outside. I tilt my head and stick one ear up and bark, then run to the back door. Ooops - was that Jake I just ran into? Paybacks, you little runt.

Mom takes us out to the run and hooks me to my cable (I can jump tall fences in a single bound). I race Jake as far as I can, bumping him "accidentally" 5 or 6 times. Then when he's at his end fo the kennel I lift my leg. Aaaahhhhhhh. Relief! Now I set about enlarging my hole in the sandy soil. I love the feel of soil between my paws.

Once inside, I get my first bowl of food of the day. I eat it inside my crate, and finish it in 10 seconds flat. I can hear Jake in the other room, eating his breakfast one piece at a time. As soon as he's done, Mom will open the door to the crate and I'll run in to the toilet for a nice fresh long drink.

I spend the rest of the day shadowing Mom. I sleep at her feet wherever she goes - getting up only to whine when I see a potential playmate walking by the house. Gee I wish I could go play. I plot my next escape. So far I have knocked all of the screens out of all the windows, and the family no longer falls for my "bolt out the door as soon as it opens" routine. I'm running out of options. I wish I had somebody to play with. Mom's nice, but she doesn't wrestle.

When Mom goes upstairs for her bath I follow her and watch curiously as she takes her fur off. That freaks me out. Humans are so wierd. Once she gets in the bath I sleep just outside the door, guarding her from any potential intruders. I take my job as Mom's protector very seriously.

I go with Mom on at least one car ride every day. I can tell when she's thinking about going somewhere, and I hurry her up by going to the back door and barking and whining until she gets her shoes and coat on and hooks me to my leash. I love to ride with my head out the window.

Sometimes the car rides are to a nice long nature path where Mom takes me for a run. Too bad Jake always has to tag along. He walks slowly behind Mom, while I bound through the forest and up and down the trial. My favorite thing to do is to run. I jump over large logs and fly through the air at breakneck speed while Mom and Jake amble along the path. Finally, when my lungs feel like they're going to burst, we're back at the truck and I jump in. Ooops - was that Jake I just barrelled into?

When we get home I plop down for a good long nap. I'm too tired to follow Mom around for at least an hour.

When I'm all rested I bury my head in Mom's lap. I sure love her. My tail just won't stop wagging. I follow her around the house with my head on her hip until she puts me in my crate for dinner.

After dinner I stay in my crate while Jake gets brushed, then I follow Mom to bed. I sleep in a ball curled up right beside her bed, and she reaches her hand down during the night and sleeps with her fingers resting behind my ear. Sometimes she gets up to potty and I follow her to the bathroom and she gives me a great big hug.

I stay beside the bed until Jake steps on my face in the morning.