Just reading a book of a cat counsellor, and now I feel bad!

Thanks for your comments! :)

I'm glad that you're all sure that our kitties love us! :D The stories you have told are the best proof! :) Luna, however, always wants to be with me. She's always near me, we're very close.

And I know that Lily is very obsessed with Luna. I think she's the center of her world (which sometimes seems to be somewhat stressful for Luna, though)

As for some cats not getting along with others... Well, I'm sure there are cases like that (for example my mother's kitty Dino who choose the life of an outdoor cat the day Peggy moved in). According to the book of the other behavior counsellor that I read (Petra Twadokus, I don't think her books have been translated into English yet), it is in most cases possible to work with them and reach a state of co-existence. I found that very interesing. (That woman btw is running a school for cat behavior counsellors, and I think if I'd ever win the lottery, I will take some courses!)

Re. cats having access to the outdoors... Many people here in Germany do also believe that a cat needs to go out to be happy, but I, for my part, have made the decision that it's too dangerous. Some people would call me seflish because of that, but I hope I'm doing the best I can to give my girls the best life possible!

Kirsten

I asked Smudge his opinion, whether he felt unjustly imprisoned or unhealthily confined. I might lose a lot in translation - my Feline is limited to "blink," "squint," and "headbump" - but he said "Purrrrrrrr Ikka Brrrrrrrrrrrip Purrrrrrr Squeek Drrrit Purrrrrrrrr," which I took to mean, "Would you like to play Cat Dancer now? Or maybe rub my ears? I like it when you rub my ears!"

Love, Columbine

I have to say this about what this 'expert' wrote.

She may be full of poop.


Do not look at any animal as "Just like my XXXXXX"

Each animal has a different personality. We always measure our next pet against what our previous pet was like. So we get these expectations that sometimes aren't fair to the new one.


And just like people, animals can have problems with their surroundings, housemates, co-workers and ????? I admire all the people who choose to home multiple pets and have to put up with health, behavior, and personality isues.

I know Ed would freak out if I brought a new catr into the house.

There are times when he meets the outdoor cats at the door and doesn't care, but there have been times that I have carried him between houses and he's hissed and scratched me trying to jump out of my arms.

If that woman really knew about cats-I do not doubt her title or her experience, but short of talking to the cats and them answering her.....I have to doubt what she has to say?;)

You know I agree with the others on this one, I really prefer the Tribe of the Tiger compare to Cat Confidential since The Tribe of The Tiger covers the whole species of felines domestic and wild. Indoor cats have to be far less stressed then outdoor kitties that live on a farm and have to worry about wild animals and all that. Sure it is challenging but I think if we challenge our pets every day in smaller games to make them work for their food and stuff which when we didn't have a dog we could give Stormy a chance to hunt for his meal. I understand how much stimulation outdoors give to a kitty, I always thought about maybe doing a cat stroller thing or walking a cat or the easiest option and outdoor enclosure of some sort. It isn't necessary, I don't think cats have to go outside they just need to have something to do instead of that outlet. I know this cat counselor had like 7 plus cats so experience isn't really the issue as much view point I think she sees their affection differently.

The whole cats don't love us, maybe they don't love us they way normal love is considered, Love is an abstract idea and comes in many forms and there are tons of different Ideas on what love is. Though a Cat's Love is not that like a Human's love, its not like a dog's love, nor any other animal's. Cat's love is special. Stormy picked me, I was the only one who got away with holding him so much and giving him bathes. Sure Our relationship is he gets food, shelter, and companionship. I got the joy he brought by being himself no he wasn't too loving at first but with time it grew.

i'm having to type this one handed bcause don juan is clinging to my shoulder and purring. sounds like luv to me.

The book is bunk. No cat is the same.

Even if Erp doesnt love me, Im more then happy to give her good scratchins. She chose me, maybe Im the lucky one.

I think the ONLY thing we are guilty of: is loving and cring for our cats!! We do the best we can do for them, and they know that!!!
If you want an interesting book about cats, try Conversations with Cats by Kate Solisti....

You all made good points here!

I think the way cats love us will always remain a mystery to us, but I'm sure they ARE able to love in their own feline ways...:love:

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Originally Posted by kb2yjx

If you want an interesting book about cats, try Conversations with Cats by Kate Solisti....

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Thanks for the advice, Sandra! She's an animal communicator, isn't she? Sounds interesting to me, ordered it! :)

Kirsten

I also believe that cats don't have to be outside to be happy. All of mine are very happy being indoor only. My cats are also happier when I'm at home with them. They love being in the same with me and it's not always about food. I do believe that my cats do love me as much as I love them.:)

Feral cats are in colonies so I don't get it when people say that you shouldn't have more than one cat at a time. When I had to take Storm to the ER vet, this vet was shocked that I had 3 other cats besides Storm. This was when I had Sunny, Sky, and Cirrus. She said that cats don't do well with other cats and it only creates stress. Storm was blocked and she was blaming this on stress and the fact that I had other cats. It turned out that his urethra had a very small opening so it was only a matter of time before he had problems. I didn't like her way of thinking at all.:mad:

Please don't beat yourself up about "one person's opinion".

Each cat is unique and has different needs, just like people are all different and have their own preferences. And even to suggest that a cat does not feel "love" is absurd!

There have been so many stories about cats 'choosing' their people and for a reason. They are intelligent and sensitive souls who use their instincts well. I believe a cat will communicate brilliantly if anyone cares to listen to their body language. We could learn a lot from our little furry felines.

Eve was a wanderer and unhappy in her situation. She was elusive and refused to be picked up and cuddled by her previous owners. This was not due to neglect or abuse - it was just the wrong situation for her. When she chose to wait on our doorstep, it was because she was comfortable with us. Her outdoor habits have changed dramatically by her own choice. We helped to show her the way but ultimately let her choose. She no longer wanders and is content to go outside on a leash or just to play on her deck and watch the world go by. She is also the most affectionate kitty I have ever known. Loves to cuddle and be picked up and hugged or just lie on our lap and purr. She is now a happy cat and shares an abundance of love each and every day. When one of us is away she calls and looks for us and is not content until we're all together again. Her sensitivity always amazes me. The only time Eve gets stressed is when she is not with us.

Give your kitties a great big hug and tell them how special they are to you and please, put that book away. It has no relevance to your relationship with Luna and Lily. They are beautiful and well loved and they know it. That is all that is important.

Hugs, Betty

This is just my opinion, cats are happy when they feel secure and in control of their environment. Long ago, an outdoor cat had his/her territory, were in control of it for the most part, they were happy. Now, the outdoors in most places would be very stressful for kitties. Now, I do have to interact a lot with my boys, but they seem happy and well adjusted. As long as they have sunbeams to lie in and window ledges to sit in and look out of, they seem happy.:love:

Kirsten, about 35 years ago I met a university professor, a biologist who was a behavior specialist. I happened to sit at his table at a dinner and began to talk cats with him. He said that he had indoor kitties. I asked him then whether that was ok because I was not sure about it. He said definitely yes and he explained to me how the role of cats and their living together with humans has changed since they were living in the barn as farmhands taking care of the mice. He said he played with his kitties several hours per day and that if they were not bored he can see nothing that speaks against it.
So, for one expert opinion you will always find another.
And remember: the average age of outdoor kitties in Germany is 2 years- and now look at the age of your kitties.
It is true, sometimes they stress each other. But they will find plenty of stress in outdoor life to, because they will have to share the territory with plenty of other cats, some of them not neutered and therefore more territorial.
So you read some more books and be happy again:)