Help!!!!! Buddy's new owner wants to declaw him

I hope I'm not out of line here, Donna, but I think it's natural for Hal to have some gritch time in the beginning. You should've heard me gritch when I first rescued Coco Puff. There was nothing that he didn't get into or climb but he was, after all, a kitten and all my other furkids were past that stage. I think that if anyone had heard me, they may have assumed that I regretted rescuing him. No way. I was just used to peace in my household and that little meezer upset the apple cart, let me tell you. But he settled in nicely, I calmed down after I got used to his antics and now we're one big happy family. However, if you feel that Hal will declaw Buddy after he's agreed not to, then I can certainly understand why you would want Buddy back. I'd give it a little more time but just keep a close watch on the situation.

Hi Donna, Reading your thread one thing keeps coming to mind here. Is Hal the right person for Buddy? What really bothers me is Hal's complaining about something or another every time you talk to him. What were his expectations? Does he realize that all cats have their own distinct personalities and Buddy is no different? I can't help but wonder if Hal only wants to replace the cat he once had, if so he's in for disappointment after disappointment. Hal claims to be "attached" to Buddy yet seems always annoyed with him. Kitties do things we don't always understand but we deal with it and do what we have to to correct their behavior when necessary. Please keep watch on this situation and don't hesitate to do what's best for Buddy.

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Originally Posted by momcat

What were his expectations? Does he realize that all cats have their own distinct personalities and Buddy is no different? I can't help but wonder if Hal only wants to replace the cat he once had, if so he's in for disappointment after disappointment. Hal claims to be "attached" to Buddy yet seems always annoyed with him.

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I was kind of thinking that myself. We have many clients that have lost a pet for various reasons and have gone out to get another one that looks exactly like the one they're missing. In some cases they even give the new pet the same name as the old pet (which gets a bit confusing with our records at times.)

A new pet may look just like the old pet but I can guarantee you it won't act just like the old pet. That's why when I lost my first guinea pig (consequently named 'Pig') I went out of my way to make sure the next one I got was any color but black. I didn't want to expect the new one to be like Pig and then be sad because he wasn't. I ended up with a very nice Agouti I named Sam.

I blew out of work early because this was on my mind and it was literally making me sick. I took a ride to Hal's house and sat and talked with him. I explained that yelling at Buddy will make him a nervous nut. I also told him that I found a declawed cat that looks just like Buddy at the Humane Society. Buddy seems to be very comfortable where he is. He's only been at Hal's a month so Mary, I think you're right. I just need to give it more time. Hal is trying VERY hard and is doing all the things I'm suggesting including the squirt bottle instead of yelling. He promised me he would turn him back to me should the scratching of the carpet continue. Hal says that I miss Buddy and want him back. I told him I just want what is best for Buddy.

So, we left it at giving Buddy and Hal more time to get used to each other. Hal is wising up and taking down stuff he doesn't want Buddy knocking over. So maybe this will turn out okay.

I guess I just have to wait and see. I WILL be monitoring the situation though.

Sounds to me as though you are doing all the exactly right things with regard to this situation. Well done! Keep on keeping on.

Paat

I agree 100% keep checking on him, with every new cat there are new things to learn and adapt as much as possible.

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Originally Posted by phesina

Sounds to me as though you are doing all the exactly right things with regard to this situation. Well done! Keep on keeping on.

Paat

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I was having dinner with my best friend at her condo which is right around the corner from the Humane Society, so I stopped by and took a peak at Sam, the declawed cat. He is a real sweetie. Big like Hal's deceased cat and very sweet. I stopped by Hal's again tonight to drop off a corrugated cardboard scratcher to put in the area where Buddy is scratching his carpet. He called me this morning to tell me (or complain to me) that Buddy was still scratching in front of the basement door.

Hal said he doesn't want to think about giving Buddy up. I explained to him that Sam was alot more like his deceased cat (he keeps trying to compare Buddy to him) in that he was BIG (so big the cage he was in was a little cramped), was front declawed and had a splotch of orange under he nose. I told him that Sam was in desperate need of a home because he was depressed. I'm hoping that'll give him something to think about.

I go over there unannounced and it doesn't faze Hal a bit. The director of adoptions (a friend) at the Humane Society said I've gone WAY beyond the call. But I can't just pick Buddy up and walk out with him. What I WISH I could do is go get Sam and bring him to Hal's and take Buddy back.

*sigh*

I think Hal may feel that if he gives Buddy back he'd be failing him. Is there any way to get Hal to the HS to take a look at Sam? And assure Hal that Buddy will go back with you?
I don't know, just suggestions. :)

HOnestly...I think Hal and Buddy need to have their time to bond together. A 79 year old man is not stupid and if left to his own brain for 10 minutes (ie; DONT answer his calls and only call back if severely needed, Donna), he'll figure this stuff out.

Just because his old kitty and Buddy are different, he'll see that cats are cats and they do "cat things".

My advice, let them be. They'll figure things out. If something happens where Hal or Buddy are in distress, THEN call and do something. I think that by you constantly saying you'll take Buddy is making things worse. I know you don't mean to do this, you are concerned for Buddy, of course - which is why I adore you! :)

Let things be for a few days, I can almost promise you that they'll bost adjust.

Keep us updated, OK???

Hugs & Love,
Kelly

P.S. I saw you on Yahoo last night and tried to chat but you were idle. Lets chat soon???

I was just wondering how old Sam (the cat at the Humane Society) is? If Sam is an older cat, it might be a better match for Hal, in addition to the declawed thing. 79 is up there in age and Buddy is so young. I only mention it now because you are already looking at possibly trying to provide a different cat for him if he allows it.
We just adopted two cats a few months ago and one of them, Gromit, was adopted by an older lady a few years ago but he was surrendered to the SPCA by her family a few months ago because she became too old to properly care for him. He is only 4 years old.
Our other cat George was in the exact same situation. A lady adopted him from the SPCA through the animal hospital went to. She had George for almost a year but then she wasn't able to care for him and he ended up homeless again. That is when we adopted him.
I know every person is different and my husband's parents are in their early 80's and doing pretty well. Though I don't think a pet would be the best for them now as they are starting to forget stuff, like where they parked and what they were just doing etc..
I know there are people out there who are as sharp as a tack and Hal might be one of them but I was just thinking of 5 years from now. Hopefully Buddy will live for 15-20 years.

Kelly,

I think you may have something there. Hal is as sharp as a tack, believe me. Sam is 6 years old and a real love. I think I'm going to let them be. Hal really doesn't want to give Buddy up. I told Hal that I'd take the ride to the HS with him just so he could check Sam out. I'll back off for now. I'm sure I'll hear from Hal eventually.

Sorry I missed your IM. By the time I got back to my computer you had signed off.

Donna,

Darn it, I'll try and look for you online more often. Is there a time/day when you're normally able to chat??

I'm sure Hal will be calling you....maybe he likes the attention, you know? I really think that letting him make the decisions and using his brain will really help them bond and make him aware of what comes with kitty 'ownership'. It sounds like his wife took care of all the responsibility and decision making when it came to his last kitty. Its time for him to learn on his own - I'm sure Buddy will be glad to help teach him. ;)

Sam also sounds like a dear. I hope he gets to go to a fabulous furr-ever home too. I'm sure he will...little sweetie pie.

Hugs,
Kelly :D

I'm on now Kelly.:D

I wish I could adopt Sam but I'm maxed out. Hopefully he'll find the loving home he truly deserves.