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Come on, everyone, maybe he was just nervous? Maybe he had to change for the date and left the wallet in his other pants?
A few weeks back when I had to take Sugar in for her surgery, I went without my whole BAG! No wallet, no license, no CREDIT CARDS to pay the bill! :rolleyes: It DOES happen!
Having said that, I think you were right, Mary, to go with your gut feelings. You were there, to see his face, his eyes, his posture, his attitude.
I always make sure I have my money and plastic before I go somewhere like that I don't want to end up washing dishes :D
On the other hand if I was him I would say I forgot my wallet can we just make it another day and profusely apologize and would refuse to accept you paying for my meal. That would have made a good impression I would think.
I think there is a lot to be said for instinct.
Hmmm well if it were me personally, and I was meeting up with someone I had been speaking to off and on for awhile, and they drove a ways to meet up with me, then realized before the meal he had forgotten his wallet, I'd have wondered, but given the benefit of the doubt, offered to treat him this time, but taken note whether he made any effort to treat me another time or not. I would have chatted and talked, and if he took off never to be seen again and just wanted a free meal, he sure went to a lot of trouble for that and I guess I wouldn't sweat it that much, just would chalk it up to a failed dating experience. Sometimes you have to learn about people through experience, the good and the bad, and I guess I'd have been willing to take a shot at it if I felt comfortable around him. If I had bad vibes, didn't feel comfortable, I'd just say I wasn't prepared to pay and part ways.
I'd have been a lot more likely to be suspicious if the missing wallet wasn't brought up until after the meal. But people make mistakes, especially when they are nervous. Just how I personally would have been inclined to consider things. I don't know this man you met however and wasn't there myself so certainly wouldn't presume to say that what you did was the right or wrong thing.
I agree with Jess, not to mention, he sure spent a lot in gas just to try to get a free meal if that's what he was after, but it's always better to go with your gut no matter what, and if you didn't feel comfortable, it's better to call it off for sure.
We don't trust our instincts enough. Once when I was single, I met a guy at a bar who asked me out for a date. My instincts were SCREAMING that he was going to steal my car on our date. So I was looking for confirmation. These were the days before cell phones, so at one point he got up and made a call on the pay phone. I distinctly heard him tell someone "white Ford, fully loaded" ..... I was outta there.
This is kind of a far out idea but what if he is a wealthy but very lonely guy and he's used to women who only want to be with him for his money. And if he's been on this internet dating scene for awhile, maybe he came up with this quirky method to see which women would not want to see him if he couldn't pay. I know it's far fetched! lol
Anyway, instincts are incredible and you should trust them. I think I would have done the same things as you did. And even if the above scenerio was true, who would want to be with someone who plays games. Life's too short. :)
I think you did the right thing. I don't think you were too hard on him. It's not like you tore into him or made fun of him for forgetting his wallet. You just simply said you weren't comfortable with it, and that's more than most people will do anymore. I think you were honest and that's what matters the most. I honestly think if his intentions were good, he'd have emailed you and apologized. I'm sure he's embarassed, but a gentleman who'd made a mistake would certainly have written to apologize and ask for a redo.
So, he drove there without his license, insurance card and registration? That's not good
He sounds like he was full of crap. You don't go on a date and forget your wallet unless you planned on it. Normally on a 1st date you're over prepared.
You might want to give him a 2nd chance, but I doubt I would. I gave up on the 3 strikes and you're out clause a while ago. :p :rolleyes:
Hey, Mare..have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? You're smart, funny and beautiful. HIS LOSE!
LOL, but of course!Quote:
Originally Posted by gini
I carry my wallet in my front pocket...to impress the women! :rolleyes:
From a guy....
I always prepare for the worst. I even carry clean underwear in my car. In case I get into an accident.
If he showed up without a wallet, a card or a knick knack to give you, he sucks, Tell him that PT said so. :eek:
That made me LOL!
I think you made the right choice, and if you have any doubts about you reaction DON'T. He should have gotten in contact with you (even if he decided he isn't interested).
Following your gut instinct usually works!
I think my impression was right, not necessarily that he wanted a free meal but that he was not honest and was trying to see if I was an easy mark and it appears that the majority of you agree w/me about trusting my instincts. We're human and sometimes we do stupid things, such as leaving the house w/out our wallet. I was so late for work one day that I left w/out my entire purse. I still can't believe to this day that I did that. I guess it was his demeanor and body language that spoke louder than his words. He had a grin on his face, not one of embarrassment but one of "Ha ha, gotcha! Now what are ya gonna do?". Plus his words "Do you have any money?" made me cringe. He should've said as someone here suggested "I'm so embarrassed; I forgot my wallet. Can we reschedule for another time so that you don't think I'm trying to pull a fast one?" Plus he hasn't emailed me since then, so he knows I'm on to him. I got to thinking about the fact that I didn't give him my phone number but he does have my website address and my phone number is on there, so he could've called if he really wanted to. He told me early on that he had Googled me. And I also thought to myself "So he's driving w/out a license, too, hmmm..." All these things occurred to me in an instant but I didn't say anything. Maybe he got stopped on the way home, since it was St. Patty's Day and cops were everywhere. I doubt that a cop would accept "My dog ate my wallet". :p
Thank you for that. I don't feel so smart right now but I'll take the funny and beautiful part. :cool:Quote:
Originally Posted by K9karen
I agree with everybody. And want to add that guys who want a woman's money usually are purrfect schmoozers. And as we do not get too much of that sweet talk usually we are ready to believe.
So I think asking after your son and your cat was not necessarily honest.
I agree, and the fact he was 66 years old. Please. You did the right thing. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbara