Bailey the Labrador went to the RB

I see how all of you are so angry at this Mike. But have you thought about how hard it must have been to know that his baby was dying? You said that you could tell how much she adored him...maybe he would have felt guilty, knowing he was allowing them to do this to her. Maybe not being there was the only thing he could bear. I don't know him...so I can't say this is why, but I think it might be. Perhaps he didn't want his last memory of Bailey to be her drifting away....to never wake up....

That said, I am soo sorry. I know how hard it is to lose a good friend. A broken lamp or a ripped tee-shirt can be replaced. Your best friend cannot.The day Bonnie died was horrible for me. I wasn't even home. I felt soo bad that I hadn't been there to hold her as she left us in our kitchen. But, I guess she wouldn't have wanted me to go through the pain of watching her go. I got to say goodbye in the vets office, where we took her, but I still couldn't believe she was gone. I know it's hard. It'll be 3 years ago this august, and yet I'm still crying as I write this.

Although Bailey wasn't held by the person she loved most when she left this world, she got a warm welcome when she arrived the Bridge. All of the PT animals knew who she was.

This might make you cry, but its beautiful.
http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html

-Melanie

Nope, sorry, I cut him a lot of slack on this one but this wasn't about Mike. It was about Bailey. It is indeed painful to have to put our best friends to sleep if/when the time comes. But it's the last act of kindness we'll ever do for them. He needed to put on his big boy pants and handle it. No excuses. Thanx for your thoughts, though. And I'm sorry for your loss of Bonnie. We here at PT have been there and we feel for you, too.

After reading over your post again, I felt the need to say something else. Just a few months earlier, this guy scolded his friend who said that he didn't think he was going to be able to be there when his dog was put to sleep because it was too emotionally painful. He told him that he didn't deserve to have a pet. So his friend gathered up his courage and was there when he put his dog to sleep. Then Mike had a chance to do right and he didn't. If he had said "I don't think I can do it alone. Would you be there w/me?", it would've been a different story. But he was in his truck, he had the time to turn around and go back and he chose not to. He CHOSE to allow his beloved pet to be alone when she crossed over. My ex-husband agonized over being out of town on business when our dog died and he couldn't be there when it happened. He cried for 3 days straight, cried through business meetings and cried on the phone to me because he felt so guilty. I didn't hear guilt in Mike's voice, only relief, and not even relief that Bailey's suffering was over, relief that he didn't have to deal w/it. And THAT'S what made us all so angry at Mike.

Hmmm.. He's wierd. ;)

That's all I have to say about it (no offense)

None taken. :)

As hard as it would be I cannot imagine not wanting to be there when one of my Companion Cats passed on, if just to let them know that I was there for them.
But there are people who would hate to been seen crying , and maybe thats why your friend didnt want to be there. I certainly would not like to been seen crying in public and often have to be at the Vets for a while until I regain my composure.
But I would feel badly if I was not there for my Family of Cats.

Nope, that isn't the reason either. He's quite dramatic and isn't ashamed or embarrassed to cry in public or in front of others. I know that you're trying to give him the benefit of the doubt as I and several others did. And bless you for it. But he just was not there when he was needed most. He had someone w/him and she could've been there to help him through it, he could've called me, too. He chose not to. He always chooses the easy way out but I didn't think he'd do that to Bailey, his favorite. Live and learn.

Oh Mary that is so sad. So very sad. I wouldn't mind betting no matter how hardened emergency vets have to be at these times, (to protect themselves really, they must see some awful things) nevertheless I think they would've been gentle and kind to Bailey, stroked her and soothed her. "Poor baby" is more likely what she heard, and felt cared for and comforted. She probably felt grateful some kind person was helping her to sleep the long healing sleep she was craving, and that was enough for her.

Maybe to set your mind at rest and get some closure for yourself you could call or go and see them and have a few words with them - the emergency vet people I mean?

Sorry I only just saw this, I've been "off air" a bit lately.

RIP now Bailey, your love was always unconditional, you can teach us so much.

Thank you so much for that. It really helps. I didn't mean to sound as though the emergency clinic people were unfeeling. Far from it. One of my vets is on the board there and he should be canonized. I just felt that Bailey, being the sensitive dog she was, needed to see Mike's face, hear his voice and feel his touch as she was crossing the threshhold. She was denied that and it was unfair, especially since she would've crawled on broken glass for that man. But your words gave me comfort and I appreciate it immensely. And I may take your suggestion and visit the clinic. Bless you for posting this.

Hi.

Let me begin by sending my deepest condolences. I've never met Bailey, yet I feel your pain. I had to put my baby to sleep this past Tuesday.

I am new to this site, and I, like many others, have been brought here under tragic circumstances. We try our very best to make sure that our friends have as much comfort in death as they do in life. Just keep in mind that the same way you have cared for others that have moved on the same way, Baily was probably comforted by a not so familiar, yet loving hand.

I can understand your frustration with Mike. People are funny creatures, and we all handle grief differently. Perhaps he is not as strong as he makes out to be, and at the last minute cracked under pressure. In fact, I've heard that some people get so hysterical at that moment that they only make this matter worse for the pet, who easily gets upset when we get upset.

You gave Bailey a great life, and I know she thanks you for it.

Thank you for your kind words. And welcome to PT. I appreciate what you say and I agree to a point. However, it isn't how he handled grief that upset me. It's how he handled her passing, what took place before her death, not after. He should've been there w/her, no excuses. He could have been there, he chose not to be. If he had been, however he chose to grieve would've been acceptable. I don't force my beliefs on anyone and that includes grieving. But when you have a pet, you see her life through to the end. It's the last act of kindness that we'll ever do for our pet friends. He turned his back on her. I'm sure the people at the emergency clinic were kind to her but it would've been so much more comforting to her had her "dad" been there. He fell far short of being a true friend. He constantly made it about him, his stress, his emotional pain, his financial strain, all the while Bailey had seizures nearly every hour for over two weeks. And when he could've been there to help end it, he turned the other way. No, no free pass for this guy.

I havent really been following baileys story, but anyway, i am so sorry for your loss. i had to have my dog put down last year, my parents took him out to the vet, i heard the key turn in the door, i ran downstairs to give my old duffer dog blue a big hug-
just a lead, and an empty collar.
no dog.
Mike ( which is weirdly my B******* of a stepdads name too)
took the cowards way out- there was no one there for Bailey- she died with total strangers, probably wondering where he was.
if he ever goes on life support, and has to be turned off, just phone the hospital, and tell them to just turn it off like he did to Bailey.
harsh? yes. deserving? in my eyes, yes.
Time will heal the wound, but it will more than likely leave a scar, just the fact that you werent there, and the thought of that there ws no one there is enough to scar.
RIP you little RB rascal- hey, maybe my dog can give you some pointer and show you around? look for a black collie cross with a really long nose and his sister, Purple (my dogs name was Blue) that looks about the same.