Quote:
Originally Posted by Edwina's Secretary
You mean you know the exact same guy? Did he say the same thing to you?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Edwina's Secretary
You mean you know the exact same guy? Did he say the same thing to you?
Yes...when I lived in Chicago...same line....Quote:
Originally Posted by JenBKR
and I was ashamed because I was frighten by this man standing on the off-ramp...and I gave him money and then more when he said it wasn't enough...within 10 seconds I knew I had been conned. He appealed to my racial fears and my shame for those fears....and he profited from it.
The second time I was angrier and not afraid.
I don't care who it is or what they look like because I won't give them anything. I also won't even roll down my window. I just don't trust any of them. It always seems like they target me even in broad daylight when there are many other people around. I just tell them that I'm sorry but I can't help them and leave it at that.
Okay, Lobodeb - time to contact a local newspaper or better yet, TV station, and tell them about this con artists. Have them do an exposée!Quote:
Originally Posted by Edwina's Secretary
I was taken in by an elderly looking woman. I was putting gas in my car and she came up to me saying her car had run out of gas a few blocks away and she had no money. I gave her $20 like the fool I am. I should of given her .35 for the pay phone.
Never again.
I know nothing about whether he was a con artist or if he's the same man conning others. I went by the info from the first post with my response when it was stated the only reason the man was not given help was because of what he said, stated that she would have helped him but because he said those words she didn't. He could have been joking or lighthearted, he could have really been someone in need and was just trying to break the ice. Not everyone is totally PC in how they speak or say things. I've been around a lot of people who have different ways of communicating and different senses of humor and to make a snap judgments and assumptions because of the words used is what bothered me and what I found sad.
Flame me if you will, but here's my take on this:
First of all, it sounds like a bit of a canned line to me. Only someone with practice at panhandling, approaching cars, etc. would even think of that line, IMO. Most of us ... big, small, black, white, whatever ... don't think of things like that, we just say, "Excuse me.", "Pardon me.", "I'm sorry to bother you ...", etc. It sounds to me like he used that line to elicit just the response it did from you - surprise, shock, pity. It threw you off balance and made you think, "Hey, wait, I'm not racist. I'm not like that. I'm not what you think ... maybe you're not what I think, either." I know that sounds cynical, but having lived in large cities, I've seen a bit of this exact thing.
Secondly, if he was an upstanding citizen, and truly just ran out of gas, I do not honestly think he would be approaching cars like that. Especially a car driven by a woman. If you ran out of gas and had left your wallet at home, or even had no money for some reason, would you honestly walk up to a car window at a stop light and ask for help? That thought would never cross my mind. I would use my cell phone, use a phone in a business office, use a pay phone (surely he had a single quarter) to call myy friend, my boss, my roommate, my spouse, the police department, etc. I can tell you with complete certainty my husband or father or brother, if they ran out of gas and had no money on them, would NEVER walk up to a car stopped at a stop light with the window rolled up, driven by a woman, and ask her for help. Would any man any of you know do this? The ONLY people I've ever seen in my life walk up to cars were panhandlers or people selling newpapers, flowers, etc. That's simply not a "normal" way of getting help when you run out of gas.
I personally think you did the right thing by driving away. The situation does not sound at all to me like an upstanding citizen who simply ran out of gas.
We all feel sympathy and pity for the homeless, the poor, the addicts sleeping on street corners. I've bought food for people, and pet food for their pets before. But honestly, the best way to help people like that is to donate to organizations that help them in larger ways ... providing shelters, soup kitchens, drug and alcohol programs, etc. Homelessness, addiction, poverty are big problems, and the best solutions are big solutions, funded by small donations.
We've got several cases in the area of people claiming their car broke down and trying to get money from people. I wouldn't have opened my window much for anybody of any race. I get in the car, door gets locked, I go.
I have quickly scanned the responses and agree totally with this one. First of all with a cell phone he certainly does not need help from strangers.Quote:
Originally Posted by IRescue452
Once I was broken down and waiting for AAA. A man approached my car and asked if he could help (talked to me through my window glass). He started the conversation with "you probably think I am a rapist" and sort of smiled and then asked if he could help. I didn't put my window down for two reasons: (1) the car had electric windows and my car was dead so I couldn't put the window down, if I wanted to and (2) I was not opening the door or window to anyone.....green, blue, orange or spotted! :p You did good. Scammers and creeps come in ALL colors. Better safe than sorry.
Some of the comments on here are very interesting. I think a lot of the different perceptions come, of course, from our different experiences. I agree with most of those who have said that they would have believed that the person had some sort of "scam" or ulterior motive in his approaching Lobodeb. But then I am a big city girl, and have seen it all too often. At this point in my life my response would be to tell him that I would be happy to call the police and have them send someone around to assist him. I wouldn't necessarily leave someone in honest need out in the cold as it were, but I would not take the responsibility for this unknown person's welfare on my own.
Also, I found it interesting, I thought ES was speaking in more general terms, meaning she had encountered someone like him, not had actually (perhaps) had encountered the same person. Thanks for clarifying that Jen and Sara.
What I find interesting is most people seem more worried about hurting someone's feelings rather than staying safe. Maybe it's because I'm from a smaller town where we don't have much pan handling going on but we do have cases of people disappearing only to end up dead in a field or river somewhere. To me there is not even a question in my mind what I would do.
Guess it's all perspective. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by momoffuzzyfaces
That's very true. Women more so than men I think.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisterdog
absolutely
Lots of people and lots of need in the world.
Twisterdog, what is a flame?
This is exactly why I won't help anyone unless I know them. I know that is bad when someone is in true need of help (if anything I'd call AAA for them or something, but no money leaves my pocket). Who is to say that the guy was lying and only wanted a few bucks for drugs or alcohol or sex?Quote:
Originally Posted by Lobodeb
Who is to say that he IS a bad man (no matter what color he is) and would have tried something once he did get 'help'?
Yeah, scammer. He could have called people on his cell phone in order to get help instead of coming up to someone in a car at a light. He gets your money, you realize you have been had, light goes green, horns honk, you are obligated to move, if you go around to find him he's gone like THAT.Quote:
A simple "excuse me" would have worked just fine. He was nicely dressed and had a pretty fancy cell phone that he was waving around. There wasn't much he needed from me that I could give him based on his appearance.
If anything, I'd have gone and bought a gallon or two of gas and come back to see where he was 'stranded'.
Good job.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Edwina's Secretary
I can't believe the gall. $5.00 was NOT ENOUGH??? Geeeze.