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I feel Everyone should beable to express their own Opinions without people being rude to them, not everyone is the same and some people might not agree with what others agree with but i feel they should never be mean to someone because they believe in something else or dont agree with what someone else does.
I have said this before, and will say it again: If there is a person, or a thread you are thinking of in particular PM ME! I am the moderator let me do my job. I prefer to do so behind the scenes, and in fact have already spoken to the person and the thread to which I know the orginal post is referring.
This is Pet Talk - where everyone should be polite and respectful. We can be respectful even when disagreeing with someone.
I prefer to handle things like rudeness behind the scenes, why, I know at least one person in this thread had gotten a PM from me regarding such in the past.
NEVER post angry. If you are angry, you will say things you should not. If you have an issue with a person, handle it privately, throughe mail or PM, or bring me into it. If a post makes you angry, don;t respond immediately -- take a dog for a walk, go skitch a kitty, do something else calming, then come back and type a response. Or another approach is to type up an angry response, but NOT post it. Email or PM it to youself, then let it sit for a couple hours. If you then reread it, and it seems reasonable, and not rude, THEN post it.
There is no excuse for not minding manners. We cannot all be perfect all of the time, but we can at least try.
What I often remind people is that this is Pet Talk - we are all here because we love pets. That separates us from the rest of humanity, but in a good way, so we should respect each other for that, despite our differences.
As cyber-sibes pointed out, I too was raised with " The Golden Rule" and my Dad told me: "If you can't say something nice, don't say anthing at all"
I suppose I could also add that "family values" were a lot different while I was growing up~ but, I will not excuse anyone who berates another Pet Talk Member with snide remarks, nor, will I post on a thread that appears to be getting out of hand. (unless to say, "Take 5", of course)
There are incidents that have really made me feel so bad for the other guy~ and so~ I just avoid reading such threads altogether~ :(
This forum is absolutley Wonderful and I know I couldn't go through a day without it.
I just wish that some people would simply bite their tongues ( or chew their nails) or just "ask": This is what I think you said
I'm glad Cyber-sibes created this thread, I was too chicken to do it!! ;)
Believe it or not, I remember what it was like to be a "newbie" here. I was not only new to Pet Talk, but to the entire Internet thing. I was terrified of "chat" rooms and stuff because of all the bad stuff I had heard on tv.
I remember not posting on the Cat of the Day for a while because I really didn't know how to do it. I wondered if I should start a new thread or just post on the one already started. I didn't want to be rude and jump in on someone else's thread uninvited. :eek:
As you can see, I got over it. But if anyone had been the least bit rude to me, I would have been so hurt, I would never have come back. I try to keep that in mind, specially with dealing with newbies. :)
Wow, that is excellent advice. I know that I have been guilty of posting while I'm angry on at least a few occasions, but I realize I shouldn't. This is a message board, and we all have the opportunity to go over what we said...that's the beauty of it!Quote:
Originally Posted by Karen
:o Oh yes I so aggree Cyber-sibes .. I just read the post on that thread you spoke of && thought I wanted to ??? two people on there.. I was raised in the older days when RESPECT TO OTHER REALY MEANT SOMETHING.. Thank you so much for this thread..
This is my golden rule. I'll usually only post a reply if I'm "stewing" about something for a while :cool: I find it very interesting that it's the same people that do it over and over again. I also find it interesting the some are applauded for being "to the point" or "frank" or "truthful". There is such a thing as tact. There is no need to be rude. Reread your post out loud to yourself and consider how it comes across. If you have a "helpful" suggestion to a newbie, send them a polite note privately. No need to cause anyone embarrassment.Quote:
NEVER post angry. If you are angry, you will say things you should not
If you want to fight take it private 'cause no one is interested.
My ignore list is growing :(
I must admit I've said some rude things, mostly in defense of myself or others. And I have no problem confronting people about their snippiness. But from another angle, don't take everything to be rude or arguemental. In one posts I was pointing out that cats are not safe outside at any time, and someone took it to be aimed at them. My words were not aimed at anybody and by no means meant to be attacking. They were in fact very general. In another, one person was speaking from the viewpoint of the animal (cat calling a dog bad names), and was attacked for it. If I spoke for my cat I'd certainly refer to dogs as dumb animals, knowing my cat's attitude.
Basically, if you expect an arguement, you'll read other people's post with a tone of malice, and you'll find an arguement out of nothing.
I agree.
Also, I would just like to point out something that I've spent a lot of time thinking about.
Whomever one may be chatting, or posting, to is obviously not someone that you are speaking with in person, at that point in time. I think one of the reasons there are arguments is that some things are misunderstood because we cannot properly convey our emotions and intents with *just* words. Certain words can quickly turn into an argument involving two, or more, people when the post was meant to be friendly and involving a totally different person. :)
IRESCUE452,
Very well put!Quote:
Basically, if you expect an arguement, you'll read other people's post with a tone of malice, and you'll find an arguement out of nothing
I agree with everything that has been said. I do however, have to add that it's not right for anyone to be rude. Is it alright for an adult to be rude to a teen? No. Is it alright for a teen to be rude to an adult? No. I don't like it when the "respect those that are older" situation comes up. It's a two way street and both people are in the wrong.
I try my best not to come across as rude in every single one of of my posts, but sometimes people will take what I say the wrong way...as I'm sure happens with many others here. However, the people who have been deliberately going out of their way to say something absurd and ignorant lately (or so it seems) are really, really getting on my nerves. Especially when it's about 'petty' (I use the word lightly, as some things I see as petty may not be to others) things such as accidentally posting in the wrong place, about a dog's ear crop, etc. When I first joined PT and a lot of the older members were still around, it seemed to be a lot more joyful and happy (not saying that I don't enjoy PT now. I do...it's just a lot different than it was then). Now it seems that one thread after another has some sort of rude comment in it. And if one person disgrees with something, the entire thread will turn into a fight over who's right and who's wrong. Overall though, I think it's still a great place..
I agree with this, but the real problem comes in when whoever misinterprets the "offending" post feels they have to say something on the public board that may be equally hurtful (whether intentional or not). If you (that is the general "you") read a post that you feel is offensive, PM the person, it is probably something that can quickly be cleared up. If it is not quickly cleared up you can always inform Karen (I bet this won't be necessary in a majority of the situations). But to reply in a public posting and then have other people seem to take sides, or add their comments just makes the situation much worse.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wenisrubber
This is, overall, the nicest forum I've ever seen. In fact, this is the ONLY forum I've seen where we can discuss hot topics like religion and gay marriage without having any arguments break out. We have our moments, sure, but overall this is a bunch of level-headed, intelligent people.
The worst part about the rude posts is when they hijack someone elses perfectly good thread. Personal attacks need to be taken to PM if at all. It's tough to read threads that have aggresive posts non-relevant to the thread. There's always a way to word a phrase or thought to make it constructive and if it can't be made more mellow it shouldn't be posted. There's so many good people here with a similar passion that it is silly to ruin other peoples threads with rudeness.