I call mine by their first names, but when the baby gets here, I will probably refer to them as Grandmama and Granddaddy just as often as I will use their names.
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I call mine by their first names, but when the baby gets here, I will probably refer to them as Grandmama and Granddaddy just as often as I will use their names.
I called mine Mr. and Mrs. for quite a while. Mind you, I met them I was 40 but still it felt respectful. They always refer to themselves (as when they call) as Walt and Wanda. I finally started calling them that...although like Karen...I really avoid calling them anything.
i call my soon-to-be-in-laws by their first names.
I call my in-laws by their first names, it took me a few years to do so, but once I did I felt MUCH more comfortable then calling them Mr. & Mrs.
It also helps that we go out with them once in a while to bars and stuff, so at times they are more like friends.
As for my hubby, he still calls my parents Mr. & Mrs. even though we've been together for 13 years! He just can't bring himself to call them by their first names. They keep telling him to call them by their first names, but he just still can't do it!!
I'm not married to my b/f lol its only been a month.. but i call his mother.. ummm nothing.. I kept forgetting her name & would just say hello, how are you.. I know her ename now & still never use it... I call his dad by his first name.. these people aren't formal or anything, so its easy to get away with it..
When I was growing up, we had to call our friends parents Mr. or Mrs or Miss X (fill in last name) & my friends had to do the same to my folks.. But times have changed & my sisters friends call our parents mom & dad (I could never do that to someone eles' folks) & my sister calls her friends parents mom & dad :confused: it makes no sence to me & just sounds all wrong. One of my friend tried to call my dad, dad & I litterly jumped down their throat & said his name is Frank...I find calling MY dad dad to be rude in my eyes
I want Jonah's friends, when he acquires them, to call me Johanna. That is my name, my preference. I don't have problems with authority, and it doesn't denote respect for me (others might be different) for me to be addressed as Ms. blankety blank. It denotes formality. It distances us. That is different. I don't want formality in my life. I don't want distance. I want closeness, affection, etc. If genuine affection and closeness doesn't bring about respect/authority issues, I have failed. I haven't aquired it somehow by the way someone addresses me.
There is someone at work that would call me 'maam'. She said, "oh, that is just what I was taught, it is respectful". Really? How can calling someone your junior in age, despite them asking you NOT to be considered respectful? N-O-T!
So, ask your inlaws what they prefer. It is the ONLY sensible thing to do.
Do former in-laws count? If so, I call them...
DEAD
:p :p
I'm not married, but my SIL calls my mom by her first name, and my other SIL just says "hi" and never really uses a name. :p If I were you, I would do as suggested before, ask them what they would like to be called. In the past, I have called my boyfriends mom's "mom" :p Just as Johanna said, it seems to bring you closer. The two women that I call/ called "mom" I was much closer to. :D Good luck!
I call my in-laws Mom and Dad but we are very close. I actually see them more then my hubby does :D
What does your future hubby say you should call them? Maybe he can ask for you since this will be the first time you are meeting them. Or, you could call them Mr. and Mrs. ------ and if they want to be called something else, they would have the opportunity to tell you what they would like to be called.
PCB, I wanted to tell you this when we were "talking", earlier, but my silly internet cut me off.
I always called my first husband's parents "Mr. and Mrs. .........". I think this mostly because I met him in elemetary school and started dating in High School......could never have called them by their first names then!! LOL!! Scott's mom is called "Ann", her first name. Scott calls my parents by their first names, too. But.....you need to do the most comfortable thing for you, to start with, and as you get to know them better, then use the name that they want you to use and the best way to find that out is to ask them, yourself!!!!!
Cataholic....this is a question for you. I do NOT like being called by my first name by children (nor doctors who in turn expect to be called Dr. X...) I cringe when my friends' children call me "Sara" but that is how they choose to raise them.
What will you do if a child is being raised to always call adults Mr/Mrs/Ms? Will you insist they call you Johanna anyway? Will Jonah call you Johanna? Will he call his teachers by their first names?
I can clearly remember the first time I was asked to call an adult by her first name. It was a work situation and she became my first mentor. I felt so privileged and grown up! It was one of those rites of passage.
So I am curious Ms. Johanna.....
When I first met Andy's parents I called them Mr. and Mrs. Miller. When we got engaged I addressed her as Mom Miller in an email and she was just tickled pink. I still called her Mrs. Miller in person. I've been wanting to call her Marilyn but I felt it would be more polite if she requested I call her by her first name. She never has, so I don't.
I haven't called her Mom Miller in person yet, but after the wedding I will. :)
Permission granted! (Though I don't have the authority, since it is PCB thread, but, I have it on good authority she adores the both of us, so, she prolly won't mind :D ).Quote:
Originally Posted by Edwina's Secretary
Therein lies the rub- you and I feel differently about how to be addressed. So, you should do what makes YOU most comfortable (as I am sure you do). Jonah will call me mommy, or some variation thereof....because we share an intimate relationship, and, for most of us, calling someone 'mom' is indicative of a closer bond than calling one by their first name. He will call his teachers by whatever their preference is, though, I imagine it would be by their last name. Again, that is not the same type of close knit family/friends relationship (unless you are in the Catholic church- JOKE!!!). His friends, if they are/were raised to address an adult by Mr/Mrs, well, then, they will call me what their parents see fit, as I only control my world, not theirs. However, I will indicate my preference, and they can make that decision.
I think everyone has the 'right' to make their preference known, and mine is for a more informal structure. I am talking about in general, not as in this thread- I am not saying (for those reading into things) that I think you are questioning my right to post my opinion, as I know you are not. Again, for me, it has nothing to do with respect/authority. It has everything to do with intimacy, as is similar in some other cultures' languages. Our language doesn't have the formal/informal structure, say, for instance that there is in Italian, or spanish.
Because of my advanced maternal age, I have a fair amount of friends with young children. These might be friends I had while I was in high school or college with, and include some neighboring kids. They ALL call me Johanna(which, btw, is always pronounced correctly by the kids...if ONLY I could get the parents on board, LOL). I don't feel anything by it. But, I respect you feel differently.
As for doctors...even my vet addresses me by Ms. Blankety blank, and I in turn, address him as Doctor (well, when I don't slip and call him White Coat). My physican addresses me as 'counselor', and my dentist and I are on first name basis! I agree, those that would take it up a notch, I would probably be bothered by the different levels of formality.
Further, in the professional environment, I do address people by Mr/Ms until they have invited me otherwise. But, that is in keeping with my weirdness, really, as I do not have an intimate relationship with them.
So, my question back to you, Miss Sara, is why do you feel the way you do?
:D
Not much - just regret St George not being around when there's a dragon wants slaying!!
Miss Johanna,
I guess I'm just an old-fashioned girl....<<flutter, flutter>>
I just believe there are some privileges that go with adulthood....staying out late at night, drinking alcohol, making major purchases, calling adults by their first names.
We took Barbara and Siegmar out to dinner while they were here last week. The restaurant was a disaster. Our waitperson, despite our request to two other staff members, could not leave her conversation to serve us. When she finally did, she told us she thought the section closed. Mind you....she could SEE us the whole time. My husband told her this was unacceptable service. He did not yell or swear but he was definitely angry. Her response was she had never been spoken to in that manner and could not accept it. (I expected her mommy and/or daddy to appear at any moment to tell us we were mean to their little girl!)
The substitute waitperson announced we would put the misunderstanding (What??? I understood everything perfectly!) behind us as she proceeded to call us "you guys."
I am not an intimate friend of the wait staff nor my friends' children. I am an intimate friend of my friends.
Familiarity breeds contempt...okay, maybe not contempt but, in my opinion, a blurring of distinction about who is what to whom.