You're in a pickle. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. You need to figure out what will make you happy and will be of most benefit to your children. It's a really tough spot. I've recently read a book that has given me a whole new perspective on living and life. It is called The Hidden Messages in Water by Dr. Masaru Emoto. If read with an open mind and open heart I guarantee it will give you a whole new outlook on life. I can't believe how my way of thinking has changed since reading this book. It's a rather short book with lots of photos. Give it a try before you make any decisions.