Teenage pregnancies and the battle to end them...

My personal theory is that it is talked about so much that it becomes appealing. When I was sixteen I wanted to wait until marriage. The friends that I had chosen at that point were already sexually active. I went to a party with them and put myself into a position where I was raped. My friends were all proud of me for "finally" losing my virginity.

In school we started sex ed in 7th grade. Sex is on tv, in the movies, etc. If you have raging hormones and hear about sex about a billion times a day, it's just a natural consequence of our sinful natures.

I plan on not allowing my children to attend sex ed classes. I would much rather teach them on my own that sex is an amazing, beautiful thing shared between a husband and wife, and that when experienced outside of this bond, can cause pain, disease, unwanted pregnancies, and heartache.

Just my humble opinion.

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Originally Posted by lizbud

I believe a lot of parents nowadays want to be a friend to their child instead of a parent.Parents generally don't challenge their kids to do
better in life. If you don't expect much of a child in life, you get what you
create.

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Yeah that's how my mom is, which is why I am SO surprised my sister(s) and I turned out the way we did. My youngest sister just turned 12, so she has yet to go through all of this, but you can bet that if my parents start slacking I will NOT be afraid to be the "bad guy". Its not my place, but I do NOT want my sister to screw up. My mom is too worried about us being mad at her and just wants to be our friend, well it doesn't work that way because then we feel we can take advantage of and walk all over our parents. Sure, sex is ok to have now at younger and younger ages! :rolleyes: Parents don't care, shoot they will take you to get birth control and protection (which, don't get me wrong, is better than having no protection at all, but they should REALLY be sitting down and talking with their children about it, and offer to help get protection if they are adament about doing it. My fiance's sister is like that, very manipulative and so disrespectful to her parents that they ended up kicking her out at age 17. But that is a whole other story). But to sum it up, education is a major part, parental supervision and involvement in their children's lives is an even bigger part! It all boils down to the parents nowdays and being too afraid to parent/discipline children!

Anyway that's all I have to say about that, because I don't want to start writing a novel (as I have already lol).

Hahah it's hard not to write a novel about it=) Pops has a lot of good points. I also discourage my children from being friends with the opposite sex. I go out of my way to make my home open to all of their friends as a gathering place, I take them to and from friends houses so they get to hang out with friends all of the time, but i discourage opposite sex friends because I just don't think it's necessary to have that at their age and only leads to trouble. I also am very picky about the clothing my kids wear. My oldest is 13 and she doesn't wear short shorts, or short skirts, or tank tops. She isn't allowed to show her belly or walk around looking like a young prostitue, which is how many in society dress nowdays. My daughter actually LIKES to be covered, because it's what she's been taught since she was a baby. She doesn't even ask for clothing that doesn't cover her up. She wears capris or longer skirts and she can wear tank tops with jackets or other shirts over them but she doesn't feel like she needs to show off her body to the world. Girls run around mostly naked and then get offended if someone wants them to cover up! Boys aren't much better. I can't change society, but I can try to help my kids get through these teen years as easily as possible with a strong beleif in God (that's how our family works, but not everyone beleives in that), strong beleif in being moral and keeping ourselves more covered than not, and we have discussed sex but not the literal aspects of it, and why it's important to wait. My children also will not be attending the school's sex classes because I beleive they are inappapropriate. Kids nowdays are bombarded with sex from the time they are small children. In fact I saw a billboard, HUGE, on my way down the highway showing a pair of very large breasts and a bra...it was an advertisement for plastic surgery. It's VERy hard nowdays to try to prevent our kids from seeing it all around them but we limit TV, limit the movies and things they are allowed to watch and do the best we can. I just wish society wasn't so gung ho to force the sex issue on kids at such a young age and expect them to understand the ramifications of it. Anymore the exception is the virgin, and those are ridiculed by their peers. That is horribly sad. I think it's parent's responsbility, but I also think it's society's responsbility as a whole to stop promoting sex like it's nothing, like everyone should just go out and sleep around. Not only is is degrading and damaging, but it's also dangerous. I actually agree with you about most of what you said Pops, it's a sad thing to see and rally doesn't seem like such a hard thing to fix if everyone would stop acting like it's okay to just have sex with everyone and have one night stands, etc. etc. and if people would teach their kids how to avoid dangerous situations that get them raped or hurt or having sex before they are really ready.

Sex is shoved at kids (and adults for that matter) in an *in your face* kind of way through advertising, TV sitcoms, videos, movies, etc., etc. There is a lack of spiritual nourishment in the homes today and I blame that in a major way. Nowadays most kids come from families where there is no one home when they come home after school. A girl in my daughter's high school had not one but two children by the time she graduated high school. When she came home from school the boy would come over and well..... :rolleyes:

I am probably an old fuddy duddy but I can remember the days when sex was saved for marriage. Sure there was the occasional pregnant teen when I was in high school but most kids were just not having sex at all. We didn't have sex flaunted in our faces everywhere we looked. TV shows were of the Ozzie and Harriet and Leave it to Beaver variety (see I told you I was old) :o and my mom was home when I got there. Sure I didn't grow up with the *things* that kids have today with both parents working, but it was a happier time for sure. I feel sorry for kids growing up today. So much stuff is being thrown at them at an age when they should be enjoying just being kids.

I agree what all you have said 100%.I myself did not wait until marriage i was 16 when i started,and i cannot say that i was forced to do so my mother and father were very strict,I had lots of friends so it wasnt a attention getter i really have no answers for why i started so young,But now you see 13 year old having children it is crazy.I agree with the parents wanting to be the kids friend ,I try to inforce things but at the same time i want my daughters to know that they can come to me with any problem they might be having.All you can do is raise your kids the best you can..That is the only thing you can do.If they make the wrong choices we also have to deal with that.

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root of the problem is boys and girls mingling too freely

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So lets keep boys on one side of countries and girls in the other? Man oh man, I'm shocked by some of the replies on here. Although dressing skimpy is a turnoff, I don't think it promotes losing your virginity or having sex. Wearing short skirts isn't "just asking" for someone to seduce you. It's all about self morals, and self respect. People can wear skimpy clothing, have boyfriends, and be friends with males if they respect themselves, and have strong morals. Parenting has little to do with it, sure they need to educate but deep down every kid knows the downsides to teenage sex and deep down people know that absitence is the safe way to go until your older. Education isn't what is needed. Parents can say all they want and people will go against it, I know plenty of people that couldn't careless what their parents say. IMO it's all about the person. If you have morals than you can realize what you are getting yourself into. Putting the blame on parents, media etc. isn't right. When it comes down to it, it's your decision.

Ps: To answer the question, I am not in this side because I dress skimpy or any of that. As a matter of fact, I don't at all. It's just an opinion

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Parenting has little to do with it,

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IMO it's all about the person. If you have morals than you can realize what you are getting yourself into.

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And who instills morals in a child?

Last time I checked it was parents.

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Originally Posted by Lady's Human

And who instills morals in a child?

Last time I checked it was parents.

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Last time I checked people without parents or with very litty parenting support still have morals. Morals are self obtained. I have morals that my parents don't.

Cagney,

It is rare to find someone without good parenting who has good morals. The ones who do have good morals have normally picked them up from other places, like church, good role models at school, etc.

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Originally Posted by Lady's Human

Cagney,

It is rare to find someone without good parenting who has good morals. The ones who do have good morals have normally picked them up from other places, like church, good role models at school, etc.

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Perhaps from your experiences, however that's a generalized statement..

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Originally Posted by Lady's Human

Cagney,

It is rare to find someone without good parenting who has good morals. The ones who do have good morals have normally picked them up from other places, like church, good role models at school, etc.

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I beleive this to be true. It's not impossible for someone who comes from an immoral or less moral background to have morals themselves, but the above statement holds true. It may be sound generalized but it's much more true than not. Perhaps you're the exception Cagney, rather than the rule. I am glad to hear that you have made those choices for yourself though, that is a really great thing.

My opinion on this subject is from my personal experience, I'm 18 years old and got taught "sex education" at school from the age of 11, but it wasnt actually sex education as in birth control and explaining about what happens, it was more about changes to the body and periods etc.

We learned about a bit more about it one 30 mins lesson (Aged 16) I mean come on half my school had lost it by then and yeah mistakes did happen yeah and even in that lesson it wasnt a graphic lesson it was diagrams on the board of your insides, I mean I wasn't expecting a live show or anything of that sort but I really thought it could of been abit more realistic, we watched a video on it and it was just so fake everyone laughed through it so no one took anything in.

You want to know when we had that demostration of putting a ..... on a bloke? Aged 16. One of my last lessons at school and to be honest for most people in my school it was just too late!

I can honestly say that most things I have learned about sex education have come from magazines and personal experiences but I seriously think that sex education needs to be stepped up quickly to prevent more teenage pregnancys.


Another thing about clinics and hospitals.. I hated going in for birth control and being looked down their noses at you for being under 18 they would make you feel so ashamed and I hated it .. So to be honest I dont blame them teens who try to avoid them places.. I wouldn't of gone back if I hadnt of had someone to come with me, They dont treat you with respect or anything but I mean come on if teens are willing to go to a place like that, Its nerveracking enough without some moody old cow looking down her nose and being snobby about everything. I know some teenagers are just down right rude to people but not all of us are and yes I do have manners and I've been taught to use them so I expected some back ...

This subject just really gets to me, I think if sex education was more down to earth instead of diagrams of your insides :rolleyes: It would get through to alot more teenagers.

I can tell you one thing though, When I done childcare at college I was made to watch a video of a mother giving birth (twice ) believe me the camera was focused in a certain position! :o I know for a fact that it certainly put me off of having sex for a long time!

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Originally Posted by CagneyDog

Last time I checked people without parents or with very litty parenting support still have morals. Morals are self obtained. I have morals that my parents don't.

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Morals begin to be instilled at day one, the day you are born. Even if the person is not your parent, or biological parent, they will still have a figure that they look up to who will, knowingly or unknowingly, instill morals upon them. It does not have to necessarily be a parent but a figure they look up to.

When I referred to education, education, education, earlier in the posting process - I was referring to a general education, not just sex education. I think that, in the US, we fail to education our children properly and as a result, generation after generation fall in to the welfare, social services that were originally put in place for emergency circumstances not to sustain people for years. "Let the government programs take care of me" syndrome. With a good education, you can earn a living, contribute to society and not live off society. That is not to say that every uneducated person lives off society, but it is the education that keeps you interested, informed, productive and off the welfare rolls, or having your parents support you, for the most part. Are there exceptions? ... Surely, but without at least an high school diploma, you are looking at minimum wage jobs.

How can you support a family on minimum wage? Even then, with a high school diploma, if you don't have any direction in life...which is typical of someone 16 years old, how the hell do you expect to rear and support a child. This falls in to "what were you thinking" when you had sex without regard to birth control or the consequences of pregnancy?

I just don't get it. I think many parents fail their children in this regard. Parents and adults set the standards. Maybe some parents fail their children because they (the parents) never learned how to parent.....maybe their parents were poorly prepared as well. Who knows.

Lots people make the best out of teenage pregnancy and the baby and the teeenager grow up at the same time. It is a tough life, at best and one that could have been so different with good parenting and a good moral foundation....religion, I suppose so, although I don't think you have to be religious to have morals and be responsible and see a real future for yourself.

I am sure many of these comments will make some folks cringe. Some of the earlier posts made me cringe.

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Originally Posted by CagneyDog

So lets keep boys on one side of countries and girls in the other? Man oh man, I'm shocked by some of the replies on here. Although dressing skimpy is a turnoff, I don't think it promotes losing your virginity or having sex. Wearing short skirts isn't "just asking" for someone to seduce you. It's all about self morals, and self respect. People can wear skimpy clothing, have boyfriends, and be friends with males if they respect themselves, and have strong morals. Parenting has little to do with it, sure they need to educate but deep down every kid knows the downsides to teenage sex and deep down people know that absitence is the safe way to go until your older. Education isn't what is needed. Parents can say all they want and people will go against it, I know plenty of people that couldn't careless what their parents say. IMO it's all about the person. If you have morals than you can realize what you are getting yourself into. Putting the blame on parents, media etc. isn't right. When it comes down to it, it's your decision.

Ps: To answer the question, I am not in this side because I dress skimpy or any of that. As a matter of fact, I don't at all. It's just an opinion

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I have to agree with you 100%.
I was laughing at a lot of the replies here.
It's different for every person.

Growing up, most of my friends were males.

I didn't have sex until I was almost 20, and it happened 4 years into an important relationship.

I always wore what I wanted and never got raped because of it.

Parenting has little to do with it: my parents never had "the talk" with me.

Education: Never attended a sex ed class.

I especially agree on this: deep down every kid knows the downsides to teenage sex and deep down people know that absitence is the safe way to go until your older.