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Originally Posted by Lady's Human
I totally agree -- parents have already pawned off as much responsibility as possible onto school teachers, day care providers, etc.
Then again, think of the money that could come into your local municipality when we fine parents for not supervising their child/dog. :p
This is a little off topic but in the lines of ***Age Limit*** On some of these threads,We talk about Suicide,Alcholism,and i just dont think that our young posters should be reading these kinds of things!!! Just my opinion!
Lori,
The youngest person I knew who attempted suicide was 12, so talking about it in a forum like this is not age inappropriate. Despite previous strong comments to the contrary in conversations with the mayor, I now see it as a good thing.
Alcoholism can start at young ages as well, I knew kids who started drinking as young as 13, and in the Army it wasn't unusual to talk to people who had started drinking before that.
So you are pretty much saying it is ok for kids to read this stuff, Youngest kid that is in here now is 13 and im sorry i just do not think it is right for them to see this kinda stuff.Kids are influenced very easy!!! i would not have conversations of suicide or alcholism with my 13 yeard old daughter,and that is how old my youngest is!If she was thinking on the lines,your damn right i would get involved but i would not bring it up like an everyday conversation!!!
I think perhaps an age limit would be a good idea...but hard to enforce. Too many parents are too focused on their kids being the center of their world to realize that they're not the center of everyone else's too.
I'm recalling the incident a few weeks back where a mom had a young son holding the leash to their husky. The kid couldn't control the husky, and I was out walking a dog aggressive dog on-leash and wound up wading into a dogfight. What did the idiot mom do but hand the leash righ tback to the kid. Unfortuantely it's the people like that who would flat-out ignore an age limit IMO...
Do you not want to discuss alcohol with your 13-year-old now, and warn her about the problems that people have with it? I can pretty much promise you she hears stuff about it at school, and any gathering place of people her age, and the information present on Pet Talk is a far more balanced discussion of the subject - and far more factual - than anything she's gonna hear from other 13-year-olds. I'd be willing to bet she also has a freind or classmate dealing with alcoholism in a family member, and though the 13-year-old probably isn't going to tell anyone about - and might not for years, any 13-year-old having some knowlege of it could not hurt in my humble opinion.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Jordan
If people were in here condoning and encouraging alcoholism and suicide and saying it's cool, I would agree, but what is being presented I think is very educational and if I were 13 and read it would see that depression is dangerous and if my friend talked about wanting to die, I should take it seriously and tell someone. Same with the subject of alcoholism, if other kids tried to get me to drink, I would see what a serious problem it can be and would be less inclined. Just my 2 cents.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Jordan
Personally, I would never let anyone under the age of 14 walk my dogs eventhough they do behave on walks (adults would be my preference, although I would never hire a dog walker anyway). I think people should be atleast 14 years and up before they start walking other peoples' dogs for them, a dog is a dog and you never know what could happen. A responsible teen (though...I must admit, they seem to be very few and far between these days...and before anyone says aything, I am a teen). I think somebody over the age of 14 who is experienced with dogs would be able to take control over a situation, where as somebody around 10 years old could not do much IMO.
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Eventhough this is off topic, Lori Jordan, I don't see why people 13 and up shouldn't be allowed to read these sort of threads....topics such as the ones you mentioned are constantly being talked about in school by almost everyone so it's pretty much impossible to keep your child away from those sort of subjects. Some kids choose to get involved and others, like myself, have no desire to get invloved. It all depends on the individual, and I believe that by 13 years of age and older, you should be able to make wise, mature decisions. As long as we're in school, there is no way to get away from certain topics coming up...hopefully that made sense. It's not as if PT is encouraging us to go out and drink or anything like that so I don't believe we shouldn't be allowed to read certain threads just because of the topic.
I think Karen made the minimal age for PT 13 for a reason, so that only mature young people would join. I know lots of 13 year olds who like animals but would feel embarrassed and 'un-cool' to come on here;) . Only teenagers who do not mind about that and really care about animals will join PT, and I think that shows maturity. Me, I've known about alcoholism, drugs etc for years. And anyway, don't most schools have lessons to teach teenagers about this stuff? I'm 14 and this year at school we have started sex education. It's not a lesson where we are told lots of bad things, but somewhere we are told informally about adult life. It's not offensive, repulsive or anything else, and if teenagers aren't going to be told now, then when? Before sex ed, the complementary studies was all about the effects of drugs and alcohol. Teenagers are young adults, and actually teenagers who are informed about these kind of issues are less likely to drink/take drugs in the future. That's from a teenager's point of view anyway:)
I will NEVER post in here again! :) And as for my 13 year old daughter,no she has no clue on the subject so does that mean i should teach her?i went through it with my own mother i would not Bring something like this on with my own,Kids will do what they want to but protecting them against it i dont think im doing a thing wrong here so you all can gang up on someone else from now on :)
At 13 who is mature? i know my daughter is far from mature!It ws just the way people explained on how the suicide was commitd that i have a problem with!
:confused:Quote:
so you all can gang up on someone else from now on
I didn't realise we were "Ganging up" on anyone. Merely dissenting opinions. Ganging up would imply it was organized, which it most certainly wasn't.
Lori Jordan - WHAT did you go through with your own mother? Whatever it was, you certainly want to protect your daughter from it. Swinging the pendulum all the other way doesn't always do the job, since it is done out of fear(most times, not necessarily in your case).
I'm not saying this is you - but people who grow up in alcoholic or dysfunctional homes share some common characteristics. And these get passed on to the kids, because that's all they know.
Here they are, just FYI:
Many of us found that we had several characteristics in common as a result of being brought up in an alcoholic or other dysfunctional households.
We had come to feel isolated, and uneasy with other people, especially authority figures. To protect ourselves, we became people pleasers, even though we lost our own identities in the process. All the same we would mistake any personal criticism as a threat.
We either became alcoholics ourselves, married them, or both. Failing that, we found other compulsive personalities, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick need for abandonment.
We lived live from the standpoint of victims. Having an over developed sense of responsibility, we preferred to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. We got guilt feelings when we trusted ourselves, giving in to others. We became reactors rather than actors, letting others take the initiative.
We were dependent personalities, terrified of abandonment, willing to do almost anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to be abandoned emotionally. We keep choosing insecure relationships because they matched our childhood relationship with alcoholic or dysfunctional parents.
These symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism or other dysfunction made us 'co-victims', those who take on the characteristics of the disease without necessarily ever taking a drink. We learned to keep our feelings down as children and keep them buried as adults. As a result of this conditioning, we often confused love with pity, tending to love those we could rescue.
Even more self-defeating, we became addicted to excitement in all our affairs, preferring constant upset to workable solutions.
This is a description, not an indictment
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Do you ever hear from your daughter what kids talk about at school? Or from the teachers? Just because you don't hear about it doesn't mean it isn't there. I'll bet, like Karen, that your daughter has heard more than you think. It's all a matter of where you want her to learn about life's realities.
hugs
Catty1
It is up to the parent to control what their child reads on the net.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Jordan
Lori,
Don't be offended. I don't think there was an attempt to "gang up on you". I just think that most folks honestly disagreed with your comments and were expressing their own point of view. I "DO" think it is a touchy subject (Suicide) and a hard one to deal with (as was/is Alcoholism). I initially didn't read that thread, but after doing so yesterday, I found it to be a very good one. Quite balanced and informative - and if anything - "helpful" to someone who might be depressed or borderline suicidal and considering something so drastic. Perhaps an even better one for someone who knows someone in this state!
Now of course, I am 46 years old and it is hard to know what effect it would have on me at 13. GOOD THOUGHT to ponder. I guess a good way of addressing the issue is to revert to a old standby theme. "KNOW WHAT YOUR CHILDREN ARE VIEWING ONLINE". Just as kids who have access to the internet can find themselves in "Porn Sites", chat rooms and other questionable URLs, so can they find sites such as PT where life themes may be being discussed. All my kids are computer literate, and were as early as 7-8 years old. At that time, I closely monitored their internet travels. Some might call it snooping. And if I saw something/somewhere that was inappropriate, I told them I did not want them going there again. If I found info there that I thought they shouldn't be reading, then I took the opportunity to discuss that subject with them - in an age appropriate manner. Then I would ask them if they had any questions or were troubled or confused... etc., etc., but then that site was off limits.
I guess I will conclude with: My youngest (and our wonderful "SURPRISE" baby) is now 12. And in accessing her intellect and level of maturity, I do not believe she would have any difficulty with the issues being discussed in the threads. I do believe that she is "already" hearing about and in some ways being touched by some of these issues through her interactions with friends and school. I WOULD end with, TALK TO YOUR KIDS", and talk to them as often as you can about all kinds of issues. Introduce them to the things and issues that they will ultimately be dealing with as young adults. Keep an on-going dialog with them as they go through adolescence and into young adulthood. In this way, you've done the very best that you could as a parent - whose number one responsibility is to prepare your children and arm them with all the neccessary tools/skills/coping mechanisms that you can, before setting them free to spread their wings and fly off into the "unknown & exciting, sometimes troubling" world of life!!!