Good by My Friend....

Debbie I keep returning - I can't seem to keep away. And each time - it hurts. I know it's nothing compared to your pain - but just so you know - you're not alone in this - we're all here with you. Trying to support you somehow...................................... anyhow.
I'm sure Peanut is asking you where Tubby is - it's been proved cats do mourn. As silly as it sounds - tell her whats happened and yes, she will need more cuddles and assurances. A big part of her life is missing too. Mourn the Tubster together Debbie - tears soften cat fur xxxxx

Love Lynne xxx

Debbie - I'm so sorry that I didn't see this sooner. Rest in peace dear Tubby.

As much as I know what you are going through, I also know that it doesn't make it any better. It can be almost an overwhelming feeling of sadness and grief.

All I do know is that it will get better over time. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually. Then you'll be able to remember the good times with Tubby without feeling overwhelmed by sorrow.

We'll miss you Tubby.

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Originally posted by lynnestankard
I'm sure Peanut is asking you where Tubby is - it's been proved cats do mourn. As silly as it sounds - tell her whats happened and yes, she will need more cuddles and assurances. A big part of her life is missing too. Mourn the Tubster together Debbie - tears soften cat fur xxxxx

Love Lynne xxx

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Thanks Lynne. Last night Terry wasn't around so Peanut and I had a good snuggle session. I told her all what happened to Tubby and told her he won't be coming home, but that he is still looking out for her, and if she feels something licking on her when nobody is around - it's Tubby. After I got done telling her all about it, she stayed for about 5 minutes - without me petting her which is unusual because she will normally leave as soon as you stop petting her - but anyway, she stayed for about 5 minutes, sitting quietly, seeming to contemplate what I was saying. Then she looked up at me, gave me one of her tiny little squeak meows and jumped up to be under her "heat lamp." I could swear she understood what I was saying, but then later she was wandering the house meowing, so I don't think it sunk in.

I don't know if I've mentioned this already, but it does seem like she needs more attention now. I also noticed this when Tubby was really sick with the first "crisis." She seeks us out and will jump in our laps, which she very rarely ever did before. I don't know if it's because she is looking for more attention, or if it's because our laps are emptier. Tubby was always dominant and she would never jump up when he was there, so maybe it's just that he's not there to intimidate her anymore. We have been paying extra attention to her because she seems to be looking for it - and because we need it.

Debbie, when I lost my calico, Patches, Rascal hadn't been on the scene too long.

Patches always slept on my extra chair in my office. Two weeks after her passing, Rascal came into the office and walked right up to the chair and put his paws on the edge, looking for her.

I was on the phone and I had to hang up because I just burst into tears.

Magic my beautiful black kitty like Tubby and Patches lived together. I wouldn't exactly say they got along because Patches was a little stinker and Magic would only take so much from her and then they would get into it. Right at that time is when Rascal showed up and Magic was already very ill.

After Magic went to the R/B, Patches and Rascal became fast buddies. Even in that short time they lived together, he really missed her.

I just have to feel that telling Peanut all that has transpired is a good thing.........do they understand..........I would like to think so.
But it probably helped you the most.

We are all thinking of you Debbie..........the feelings are just so raw right now and we understand.

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but anyway, she stayed for about 5 minutes, sitting quietly, seeming to contemplate what I was saying. Then she looked up at me, gave me one of her tiny little squeak meows and jumped up to be under her "heat lamp." I could swear she understood what I was saying,

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:( :( I'm really fighting back the tears. If I'm hurting like this I can only imagine how many more tears you have to cry before the pain stops. I'm positive she understands.

I'm sure learning alot from you Debbie. To be honest, I've never had to make "the decision" and when the time comes for Speckles (and I hope that isn't for a couple of years yet) I'll remember what you and other Pet Talkers went through and what they did to help them cope.

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Originally posted by slick

I'm sure learning alot from you Debbie. To be honest, I've never had to make "the decision" and when the time comes for Speckles (and I hope that isn't for a couple of years yet) I'll remember what you and other Pet Talkers went through and what they did to help them cope.

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Slick, I sure hope that day doesn't come for a long long long time too. But I have to say that no matter how you prepare yourself, it's still going to hit you like a ton of bricks. I thought I had been preparing myself for the last 3 1/2 years - ever since I found out his kidneys were failing. I did the same like you and tried to learn from everyone here who lost a beloved pet. Ok, I have to admit that it does help somewhat, but having to deal day in and day out with not having him here is really hard - and that's what you can't prepare for. Even when he was sick I was worried and trying to prepare myself, but he was still here and I could still go down and snuggle with him, or smooch on him, so even that didn't help.

I know you are strong and you will make it through that awful day when you have to, just like I have to make it through this, but like I say, I sure hope that day doesn't come for a looooong time.

{{{hugs}}} to you because I know what you're going through too.

I haven't been able to keep up with the threads; only posting now and then about the P,C,DOTD as time permits.

Oddly, I must have miss-clicked and cat memorial came up, and here was the sad news about dear Tubby . . . oh, gosh, I'm so sorry to learn of Tubby's passing and want to express my heartfelt condolences to you, your husband and Peanut.

I'm sorry I have not been able to keep up with the threads or I would have known he was ill and been better prepared (who ever is??!!) when I saw this, but please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I am sure Tubby is looking down from RB with gratitude for having such a loving and devoted family, and is especially beholden to you for having shown the courage and strength to know when his time had come. [[[HUGS]]]

Your pictures of him are a beautiful tribute, and he reminds me of my TNR Jette, with the little white chest patch. RIP, beloved Tubby.

Terry just called and said the Vet's office called and Tubby's ashes are back. Terry is going to pick them up tomorrow and bring Tubby home. I'm glad they're back because now Tubby can still come on the trip with us. Some might think that is kind of morbid, but I would hate to leave him home all alone for two weeks....

Then sometime in spring I will take him up to my Mom's place in Wisconsin and spread him around in the woods behind her house. I never let him out without his leash, even though they're out in the country there because they live next to a busy highway, but he so loved it up there, out in the country, and in the woods, watching all the birds, squirrels and chipmunks. And then he can watch over Goofy too, so nothing bad happens to him since he is an outside only kitty.

This just makes it so final....not that it wasn't final before....:(

I'm glad that Tubby's final resting place will be a family location that he's loved so in the past. The continuity sounds healing to me. May this help you heal, too.

{{{gentle hugs}}}

Tubby will thank you for this.The country is beautiful:D

Debbie, I'm trying so hard to stay strong for you but it's not working very well. I just read your last posting here and now I'm bawling like a baby.:( :( Taking Tubby on your roadtrip is not morbid at all. In fact I would love to see a picture of the urn containing his ashes. Others may find this extremely morbid; if so you can email it to me. His final resting place sounds so peaceful and I know he will be happy there.

Debbie,

I thought about you on Monday, guessing that you might be returning to work. It's so weird after you've experienced such a huge loss. To me, it was like, "My world's been turned upside down yet I'm supposed to keep making ths same phone calls, dealing with people as usual. Everybody else is going on as normal. How can that be?" :confused: I wondered if you were feeling anything like that. Coming back to this thread today and reading some of the later posts, it sounds like maybe you did. I'm so sorry for you. It is just so hard but as many have already said, it does eventually get a little easier. Take care -

Sending hugs and best wishes - Bobbi

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Originally posted by Tubby & Peanut's Mom
This just makes it so final....not that it wasn't final before....:(

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I know. When they handed me the box of Goldie's ashes I completely fell apart in the vet's office. Goldie now sits on the bookcase just above where I sit at the computer so she's always nearby.

Tubby's final resting place sounds wonderful.

I would like a place like Tubby's last place for myself- where he can just go back to nature and be part of its beauty.:)

He is no longer sick and no longer in pain. Which is different for his family. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

Tubby is home. Terry picked him up this morning and brought him home.