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Add me to the list. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you a comforting, gentle hug. But I can't, so a cyber hug will have to do. Although it's from a distance, it is not any less sincere or heartfelt, just as Rachel and Sue say. You and Buddy remain in my thoughts and prayers daily, dear Liz. We are all here for you whenever you feel like talking. Love, Sandra
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Hi guys,
Thanks for all the 'cyber hugs' and kind & encouraging
words. It does help me try to focus on the good memories
of the fun times with Buddy. The 'silly' games he so enjoyed
playing everyday. I know I did what was right and merciful
for him. I always swore ,if it was within my power, Buddy
would go to Rainbow Bridge with the same dignity that he
showed in life.
I really am reluctant to post much b/c I don't want to bring
everybody down. Just wanted to say that I'm trying my best
to look at this from Buddy's point of view. He is without pain,
he is in a better place & I asked him to wait for me and know
he will. I just feel so tired and somtimes wish I could just join
him. I'm just tired right now b/c of not sleeping well.
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It is so good to hear from you Liz. We all know how you are feeling right now and the conflicted feelings you're experiencing. As much as we tell ourselves, and know, that it was the right and best thing to do, that doesn't always help to ease our own pain and lonliness. Please don't feel you have to "talk." Just check in occasionally so you will know that we're all thinking of you. I hope that you get some much needed sleep friend; but I know that might not be so easy right now. You and Buddy are always in my thoughts and in my heart. Love, Sandra
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Liz, I know exactly what you are saying. I know when each of my furpups died, I wanted to go right with them. I didn't care anymore. My heart had a hole in it. When Wolf (my first) died, I was angry that he died. I wanted him with me forever. (He was my dog of a lifetime.) Later, my heart was stolen by a big white bundle of fur and life went on... When she died, I felt such sadness, not anger, but I wanted to go with her, too. Now I have my two rescues and life goes on.... til...
When you feel the need to talk, don't hesitate to pm me or post here. We know how you feel and sometimes it is good to talk. Maybe you'd like to tell us the fun things Buddy did; the things that made you laugh......
We are with you in this, Liz. Call on us to help you through this.
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We miss you, Lizbud, but also know how deeply you are hurting. Please know, I think about you daily.
Wishing you peace and comfort,
Tonya
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Liz, I am happy that you posted so that we know you are alright. Believe me, we all know what a difficult time it is for you and our hearts go out to you. Post whenever you feel like it, and just remember, each and every one of us are here for you.
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I lost the post I was working on when I went to Cathappy to find this - I won't attempt to recreate it, just share this concept with you - I borrowed it from Bari_D's webpage, Cathappy. I hope it wasn't the wrong thing to do netiquette-wise. I was thinking of how you can't replace someone you love, just keep your heart open to others who will ask for it.
Stray Cat
Oh what unhappy twist of fate has brought you,
homeless to my gate?
The gate where once another stood to beg
for shelter, warmth and food
For from that day,
I ceased to be the master of my destiny.
While he, with purr and velvet paw
became within my house, The Law.
He scratched the furniture and shed,
and claimed the middle of my bed.
He ruled in arrogance and pride,
and broke the heart the day he died.
So if you really think, oh cat, I'd willingly relive all that
because you come, forlorn and thin,
Well...don't just stand there, come on in!
(Francis Witham)
Love is the greatest healer, and the love on these pages is unbounded. God is Love, and Love is God. Blessings to you, Liz.
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Our ~ Buddy ~
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This is for you Liz, we are thinking about you every day.
A Living Love
If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life you will always remember . . .
The first is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring home your young new friend. You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You may have asked numerous opinions of many vets, or done long research in finding a breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just chosen that silly looking mutt in a shelter -- simply because something in its eyes reached your heart. But when you bring that chosen pet home, and watch it explore, and claim its special place in your hall or front room -- and when you feel it brush against you for the first time -- it instills a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many years to come.
The second day will occur eight or nine or ten years later. It will be a day like any other. Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising instant, you will look at your longtime friend and see age where you once saw youth. You will see slow deliberate steps where you once saw energy. And you will see sleep when you once saw activity. So you will begin to adjust your friend's diet -- and you may add a pill or two to her food. And you may feel a growing fear deep within yourself, which bodes of a coming emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy feeling, on and off, until the third day finally arrives.
And on this day -- if your friend and whatever higher being you believe in have not decided for you, then you will be faced with making a decision of your own -- on behalf of your lifelong friend, and with the guidance of your own deepest Spirit. But whichever way your friend eventually leaves you -- you will feel as alone as a single star in the dark night.
If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as they must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your circle of family or friends will be able to understand your grief, or comfort you.
But if you are true to the love of the pet you cherished through the many joy-filled years, you may find that a soul -- a bit smaller in size than your own -- seems to walk with you, at times, during the lonely days to come.
And at moments when you least expect anything out of the ordinary to happen, you may feel something brush against your leg -- very, very lightly.
And looking down at the place where your dear, perhaps dearest, friend used to lie -- you will remember those three significant days. The memory will most likely to be painful, and leave an ache in your heart. As time passes the ache will come and go as if it has a life of its own. You will both reject it and it, and it may confuse you. If you reject it, it will depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you. Either way, it will still be an ache.
But there will be, I assure you, a fourth day when -- along with the memory of your pet -- and piercing through the heaviness in your heart -- there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have loved, and lost. This realization takes the form of a Living Love -- like the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals have wilted, this Love will remain and grow -- and be there for us to remember. It is a love we have earned. It is the legacy our pets leave us when they go. And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we live. It is a Love which is ours alone. And until we ourselves leave, perhaps to join our Beloved Pets -- it is a Love we will always possess.
Presented with grateful acknowledgement to the author, Martin Scot Kosins
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That is beautiful Jackie. Thank you for posting it.
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Jackie,
Thank you so very much dear friend for posting this beautiful
message. I feel like it speaks to me directly. I have entered
the Third Day spoken of in the poem. Today marked one week,
seven days, since Buddy started his journey to Rainbow Bridge.
Today on my lunch hour (exact time that Buddy left) I went
outside of my office building to walk around and say goodbye
again to my sweet boy. There are a lot of trees, walkways,
and green open spaces around the office building . I stopped
in a small shady spot under a row of trees and sat down on
a bench to say a few prayers & to remember how much Buddy
loved to sit under the tree in my backyard with me some spring
days. I remember so clearly how his face looked, how he would
lift his nose to catch every passing breese. He would look so
happy & content. I just loved being in his company & he in mine.
Just wanted to say that yes I cried, but that I was also able
to think of a better, happier time with Buddy. Liz.
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I'm glad to hear that Liz, believe me I know how you feel, I still cry when I read a poem thinking of Kona, but now our tide has turned and we talk about her in a happy way, we talk about her funny quirks, how she used to pull up every plant that I put in the garden, how when Perry came to live with us and he would lick her eyes and ears, I think he thought she was his mom. I know in my heart that we will be united with Kona one day and it gives me peace as I hope it does for you thinking that you will be reunited with Buddy. They will be waiting for us.
Jackie
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Jackie, that was beautiful. Liz, I know exactly "that day" of which you write when I journeyed down that sad road after the loss of my Jingles. I hope that with each passing day just a little bit more of the pain will pass, replaced with a gentler memory that lifts your heart just a bit. As Jackie has said, hold tight to the belief and thought that one day you and Buddy will be together again and there will be no more tears or sadness. I think of you and Buddy each and every day with love. Sandra
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Liz, just wanted you to know that we are still here and thinking about you and Buddy.
Jackie
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Liz, you're still in our thoughts and prayers. I wish you enough.