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Okay, Colubus Day Weekend is coming up and I need some advice. Okay, this guy that I like (he's about 20 years old) is coming to NY for a visit (he's in the Air Force) and he told me that he wants to see me and do IT with me and he said that when he arrived in NY he was going to call me. I don't know what to do. I am scared. I am almost 14 years old. Please, I need advice.
~sweet_stormy~
First off, have you ever seen this guy in person?? How did you meet? Do your parents know about him??
My first reaction is DON'T GO TO SEE HIM!!!! If he thinks that coming into town for a weekend will get him something, then he's not worth liking and will never give you the respect you deserve.
yes, I know him. He went to my school.
Please do not meet that guy AT ALL! He is bad news. What he wants to do is ILLEGAL and he can go to prison for that!
Please don't let this ruin your childhood. Be young while you can and don't try to grow up too fast. There will be plenty of time for that later.
Sorry I'm confused. If you are almost 14 and he's 20 how could he have gone to the same school. If he graduated 3 yrs ago at 17 you would have still been in elementary school.
Correct me if I'm wrong....
sweet_stormy: I am scared. I am almost 14 years old.>>>>>>>
I think you just answered your own question.
It obviously doesn't feel right, DON"T DO IT
and DON'T meet this guy.
Call me old fashion, but I think "doing it" should be
special, and saved for that special person that
you are 100% shure cares about you, and visa a versa.
A 20 year old, you are not dating wants to come up
for the weekend and "DOT IT" to a 14 year old
does not care for you in the way that I am speaking of.
Just my two cents. :(
Aly is right. What he is proposing is statutory rape. And he SHOULD know that. In most states the definition of statutory rape says if one person is 13 or if there is more than a three year age difference between the two people and one is under the age of 18 its RAPE as far as the law is concerned. Any 20 year old MAN who doesn't know that is not responsible enough to have sex.
You know what to do. Remember our posts about older-younger dating? We all said that it was okay (or most of us) if BOTH people were above the age of 18. (and some of us felt it was ok if both were close to 18)
He may be a nice guy, he may be fun and exciting, but a 20 year old MAN who wants to have sex with a 13 year old is immature at best, and a sick creep at worst. You're a sweet person. Funny, and smart... but he should WANT to be with someone who is an adult. And you deserve to wait until you're older, and ready, and in love with someone who loves and respects you.
Please don't do it.
You can PM me any time. I used to teach high school, and I used to teach sex education... nothing makes me blush.
what the guy said is illegal, that is called rape if you guys actually went through with it, I am a lil confused about the school thing to... I really hope you dont meet him. .. .
This guy ought to be reported. You are thirteen years old. Any man that wants to have sex with a thirteen year old girl has to be severely disturbed at worst and completely immature at best. There has to be some reason why he can't get women his own age.
please dont go see him! take it from me i am 14 and i know that
guys like that dont really care about you. they just want to do it
with you then ditch you....no matter what he says it's true...
Are you being serious?
One simple word for you to say to him: NO.
DON'T give out your personal information, such as phone and address to this creep.
along with what others have said...go with your instinct! You said you were scared..that is not a good thing when it comes to something like that. Tell him no and to cool it. If he's still interested when you're ALOT older, then fine..but right now, you're still a child and he is barely out of that adolescent stage.
OMG! :mad: :mad: :mad:
DO NOT go with this guy! DO NOT give him ANY personal information about your address, phone number, etc. TELL YOUR PARENTS. This guy has no good intentions and you need to be aware of that. You're a child and there's no reason for anyone to do that to you at such a young age! Say NO!
Ps. For those who are wondering about the guy being in the same school as her in the past, it could be *possible* if the school they went to is K-8 grade, or even K-6 with her being in kindergarten and him being in 5th or 6th. :confused:
Yeah and i'm sure he's been wanting to "do her" all this time. :rolleyes:
lolQuote:
Originally posted by Kfamr
Yeah and i'm sure he's been wanting to "do her" all this time. :rolleyes:
RUN LIKE THE WIND!!!!!
AND DON'T MEET HIM!!!
Tell your parents (or a trusted adult if you're afraid to tell your parents) and have them tell the cops. This guy sounds dangerous. Listen to yourself and trust yourself. Under NO circumstances see him alone, even if you think you're just going to "talk".
Please Please do NOT see him!!!
First of all everyone is correct, what he wants to do is called statutory rape and it is illegal in all the states in the US.
Over the years I have had more than one young woman (your age) come to me pregnant or with a sexually transmitted disease. For many of them this was a life changing experience and if they had to do it over again they would not. Please learn from others and do not have any more contact with him. Tell your parents or another trusted adult and get away from him...
Say NO! Your 14 and he is 20 there is a big age difference!
You shouldnt be getting into this kind of stuff like *doing it*
with a 20 year old man! Dont ruin your life!!
Or with ANYONE. She's 13, almost 14. Play with barbies, not boys. :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally posted by Amber
Say NO! Your 14 and he is 20 there is a big age difference!
You shouldnt be getting into this kind of stuff like *doing it*
with a 20 year old man! Dont ruin your life!!
Thanx for the advice.
Okay, everyone is wondering how me and "BOB" (lets call him that) met. Well I was in 6th grade and he was a senior. At my school they have 6-8th grade on top and 9-12 on bottom. It was March 20th, 2002 and i was walking to my moms work. him and his friend "GEORGE" (lets call him that) were going down that road on a tractor thing b/c it was spirit week for high schoolers. they asked me if i wanted a ride. i said no. they went around a trailer park and right when i was walking past the driveway to the other side of the trailer park road they came back onto the road. they asked me again. i still said no. than "GEORGE" asked me what was wrong. i said nothing. i would have loved the ride, if i knew them and if they were my friends. it was so cold out. ever since then "BOB" has been mean to me. now all of a sudden hes being nice. "GEORGE" has always been nice to me.
that is how i met "BOB".
oh yeah, i forgot to mention something. he knows where i live b/c we lived in the same town. he has driven past my house at least 4 times so far. he knows my phone number b/c its in the phone book and he is good friends with my step-cousin. so that doesnt work for me. he knows my first name, last name, where i live, my age, and the grade im in. he also knows my screen names on AIM. and no im not going to get a new one just because he knows them. just b/c i block him doesnt mean he wont get a new s/n or go on someone elses just to talk to me. thats how some people are. i know i was that way when i really liked him. i almost ran me over with his truck on school property when i was walking to my moms work. he got his truck suspened from school for a week or so.
Um, Ok well this "BOB" obviously doesn't give a squat aobut you. He's just out to "get some", just like any other desperate perverted person. Tell your parents. Make them aware of this person. If he touched you in ANY way, or talks to you in any way, call the police. That's if anything you're saying is factual.
Obviously seems like he's some moron trying to stalk on a young girl *you*, and YOU really need to be aware of that and stay away from him. Have your parents, teachers, or some trusted adult aware of the situation. You have more dignity than to be touched by some guy or ANYONE, so be aware of that and stay AWAY from the person. If he says anything else, let the school principle or your teachers know. Hopefully they'll be able to do something about it. IF he EVER touches you in a wrong way, DO NOT hesitate to tell adults that you trust, AND the police, because its considered a crime to do that to a kid your age, and if he's stalking on you, the officials need to be aware of that.
He is obviously so stupid and unable to behave normally that he can only pick up little girls. This guy sounds DANGEROUS. I urge you to tell your parents or another trusted adult as soon as possible. This guy is not to be trusted and could end up doing more than just "doing it" with you. :mad: :mad:
do u mean younger? im not that little.
My thoughts exactly! Please, please stay away from him! It scares me that he has driven around your house 4 times and hardly knows you. Please be careful! He almost sounds like a stalker!Quote:
Originally posted by Soledad
This guy sounds DANGEROUS.
I mean little as in a child. Like it or not, you are a kid. And for a twenty year old MAN to stalk you (there's no question in my mind that he is stalking you) means that he is most likely a pedophile.
This guy sounds like he wants to hurt you. Stay far away and tell your parents ASAP!!
Just wanted to add:
A twenty year old man who preys on thirteen year olds probably does so because all the girls his age think he's a loser. By picking younger girls he hopes they won't notice what a freak he is.
"BOB" knows me more than u think. We've known each other since March, 2002. I live in the country on a dead end road. he has driven on the road that connects to the dead end road.
Uh, okay??:confused: :confused: :rolleyes:
Listen to what you yourself said about Bob:
ever since then "BOB" has been mean to me. now all of a sudden hes being nice. "GEORGE" has always been nice to me.
Trust me when I tell you this guy is just BAD NEWS! Also, even if he was the nicest guy on the earth what he is suggesting is immoral and illegal. End of my lecture, but I hope you take some of these responses to heart. Most of us are a lot older than you are (I certainly am! :) ) and know what we are talking about!
Sweety, He may know a bit about you, but what we are saying is it's still creepy. Everyone of us on here would RUN away from this man. Do you really want to be with a man that EVERYONE thinks is disgusting? And a man that you KNOW in your heart doesn't love you? or even like you? He's MEAN to you. That's all we are saying. We aren't trying to put you down at all.
HE DOESN't LOVE YOU. He wants to have sex ON you, not WITH you. He doesn't care how you feel about it (yes, we are sure). You deserve to be loved by the first man you have sex with. (and any man you have sex with). Regardless of who it is, sex the first time can be a little scary, it can hurt. You likely would bleed. Would you want to do all this with BOB? You know that you don't. Follow your instincts, your true instincts and they will not let you down.
Quote:
Originally posted by sweet_stormy
"BOB" knows me more than u think. We've known each other since March, 2002. I live in the country on a dead end road. he has driven on the road that connects to the dead end road.
Ok...so i've never ever really posted anything 'controvercial' on this site...but c'mon. You're 13? and you're still CONSIDERING having sex with this 20 year old who you've described as BEING MEAN to you in the past? What are you THINKING?!!! This alone should be a SCREAMING ALERT that you're too young & immature to be doing something as adult as having sex!!! Sex is something that ADULTS do...should be something that 'adults who care deeply about each other do'. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not saying you're 'immature' per se....but don't you think you need to mature some before you go making LIFE ALTERING decisions?
Sex isn't just "Doing it".
It makes babies. I had sex with a loser just because I liked him. He was a bum and I had no intention on having him in my life forever. We used a condom and I was on the pill. I got pregnant. My son is beautiful to me and I wouldn't trade him for the world, but I sure as **** didn't know what I was getting myself into. Sex is not just a physical thing. It is possibly a commitment that you will have the rest of your life.
Not to mention STD's. Someday you will love someone more then anything, do you want to have to tell him about your herpies?
Lastly, someday you will meet someone that you really love. You'll want to spend the rest of your life with him. For the first time ever, your heart will break that he wasn't your first. You'll finally realize what we are all talking about.
AND YOU ARE WAY TO YOUNG!!!
And no 20 year old in their right mind would try such a thing. Stay away from him!
AMEN!Quote:
Originally posted by Soledad
Any man that wants to have sex with a thirteen year old girl has to be severely disturbed at worst and completely immature at best. There has to be some reason why he can't get women his own age.
My guess is that he has some kind of mental disturbance. There is something disgusting about this. A normal man would not find the company of a 13 year old girl to be at all appealing. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. I'm just stating something that you already know.
Some people are posting that this is called rape. Yes. And, in fact, I think it's called CHILD MOLESTING!!!
Now, here's what I don't get. You know all this. You know the guy is a weirdo. You know you shouldn't do anything with him. But you post this question anyway? What exactly are you looking for? I've got a feeling there is more to this story.
It's time someone told your parents this fellow is giving your problems. I hope you will. They don't know that you are talking with a man that old do they? I hope they would at least have a problem with that!
This may sound very harsh, but I would like you to go look into your mirror. See yourself?
Alright - now ask that person that you see, "Am I Stupid? or Am I Smart?" "Am I in control of myself, or do I just let other people use me?"
Once you have your answers, you won't need to ask us for advice.
I sent a very straightfordward PM to sweet_stormy, telling her in part NOT to see "Bob" that weekend, and not to be home by herself either that weekend. She replied that she understands.
my mom doesnt know that ive been talking to him. the last time i talked to him was like a year and a half ago. when my mom asked who i was talking to i told her i was talking to my "friend" "BOB". she didn't ask anymore questions. And to tell you guys he does not have any mental disease or anything. I am sticking up for him on that, and i dont want you to think that he has a mental disease just b/c he told me that stuff! I may not like the stuff he said, but at least i have enough sense not to say that he has a mental disease. yea, i may be acting like i care about him, but i dont. maybe he likes younger girls. not all guys like girls the same age as them or older. my best guy friend likes younger girls. he likes me. hes 17. im sry if you think that i care about "BOB" b/c i dont care about him in a loving way. i care about him in a way that im being nice to him b/c i would want him to stick up for me if someone was saying stuff about me. yea, call me whatever you want. i shouldnt have posted this b/c i just caused a whole bunch of problems. im sry, i cant just sit here and read about you guys critisizing "BOB". It would be different if you knew him. i guess from now on i will figure things out on my own. But i just like other people's opinions on things so that i dont make the wrong disicion. if you dont like what im saying, tough. im still a good person. one thread shouldnt make me a bad person. i am caring. i treat people the way i would like to be treated.
~Sweet_stormy~
Quote:
Originally posted by 2kitties
AMEN!
My guess is that he has some kind of mental disturbance. There is something disgusting about this. A normal man would not find the company of a 13 year old girl to be at all appealing. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. I'm just stating something that you already know.
Some people are posting that this is called rape. Yes. And, in fact, I think it's called CHILD MOLESTING!!!
Now, here's what I don't get. You know all this. You know the guy is a weirdo. You know you shouldn't do anything with him. But you post this question anyway? What exactly are you looking for? I've got a feeling there is more to this story.
It's time someone told your parents this fellow is giving your problems. I hope you will. They don't know that you are talking with a man that old do they? I hope they would at least have a problem with that!
You are not a bad person at all!!! I hope you do not think I was trying to say that.
However, I do not see why you choose to defend a man who you tell us has been mean to you and who wants to "do it" with you and who stalks you!!!
How can we have a good opinion about Bob when all you tell us are the bad/gross things he does? How does that make any sense?
Bob is a man. Legally, you are a child. That makes Bob a wannabe childmolester. Think about it.