Excerpt from a Cat's Diary...
You are going to be cracking up after you read this!!!!! Check out the dog one too!!!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
> >
> > DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
> > little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
> > meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
> > thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
> > the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
> > occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat
> > another houseplant.
> >
> > DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by
> > weaving around their feet while they were walking
> > almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
> > stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these
> > vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
> > on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
> >
> > DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the
> > headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I
> > am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
> > hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
> > good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to
> > plan.
> >
> > DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are.
> > For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture.
> > This time however it included a burning foamy chemical
> > called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a
> > liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb
> > still stuck between my teeth.
> >
> > DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their
> > accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the
> > event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
> > foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More
> > importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to
> > MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and
> > how to use it to my advantage.
> >
> > DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are
> > flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
> > released and seems more than happy to return. He is
> > obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has
> > got to be an informant, and speaks with them
> > regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due
> > to his current placement in the metal room his safety
> > is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of
> > time.
