Call your nearest airline company
Splat, Splat, Splat! Lovely, lovely, beautiful, painted Splat! I love her, too - therefore, I think you should put her on the next plane headed northwest so that she can come and live here where she can have a great time growling at the five cats who already live here.
PS: I was astounded when I first opened up COTD and saw the beautiful picture of the lovely Splat. "Wow!" I exclaimed to the black cat. "A rare male tortoise shell!" Then I realized my mistake. Clearly, it states "female" right after gender. I don't know how I ever got such an idea.