cars/computers (funny)

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection
for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up
with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon!!!!

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this
part): For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. Every
time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off
the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For
some reason you would simply accep this. Occasionally, executing a maneuver
such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five
times as fast and twice as easy to drive but would run on only five percent
of the roads. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights
would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal
Operation" warning light.

The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying. Occasionally,
for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you
in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and
grabbed hold of the radio antenna. Every time a new car was introduced car
buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because! none of the
controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. You'd have to
press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.