Here goes.....

I will try to make this short and sweet........

Thank you for your Operation Resuce Maddie. I know if you could have busted her out she would have been in good hands. Let me set this straight however, NO ONE lied to anyone. She WAS in a NO-Kill shelter and she didn't have behavioral problems that needed to be told. We discovered the "potty problem" was Lexi all along, not Maddie. She just needed obedience and I believe I mentioned that to them. HOWEVER, the day I brought her in I was balling my eyes out and could barely tell the lady anything so if something was left unmentioned then I'm sorry.

I chose not to discuss this or tell anyone because of my guilt and having to deal with this on my own. I really didn't think about having you guys help because we are all so far away. I guess I underestimated you all, my fault. I really just didn't think that far.

Some of the snide remarks that I caught really upset me. I am truly greatful that you all banded together like you did, I really should have known you would. But on the other hand, I feel awful... it's like your committment to bust her out left me feeling worse...like less of a person. That may not make sense but that is how I feel. If she wouldn't have been taken there, no one would have had to bust her out.... so my guilt resurfaces.

Don't take anything I said wrong, that other thread is closed as is the negativity of that topic.... I just felt I should say something, I'm not trying to be harsh, really:) You all know me better than that.

I just don't think there's any reason for me to be hated for trying to help. Why didn't you answer my email? I didn't say any snide remarks. All I did was sit here and cry for over a week about it. I offered to take Maddie even before you left AZ. Did you not think I would be good for her?

My feelings are just really hurt.

I know people are going to be upset with me that I'm dragging this out. But I had no closure. One second I thought I was getting a new baby and before I knew it, I wasn't. Its just a lot harder on me than it sounds because of the emotional person I am.

I have never been negative on this board and won't start now. The word HATE was never mentioned, nor any specific comments. I chose not to comment on all that was said for my own reasons and because that topic was closed. It doesn't need to be rehashed.

I was thanking everyone for their support.... I left everything else alone. As for not answering an email, forgive me... I was out of town all weekend. I flew back to Phoenix last Thursday for my sisters wedding and came home to this yesterday.

And of course I would think you would be good for Maddie. I would never have had a bad thought about it.... I guess I just didn't give it much thought because of the distance and worrying about everything else.

I really don't want to go into this anymore. I said my peace and want to just move on.... I have my own issues and guilt to deal with.

Now Angel, I have always respected and loved you as a friend. But you are not respecting me or anyone else by lying to us. Don't say it was a no-kill shelter when you know several of us have been in contact with them and they are very much a kill shelter. I am not trying to be harsh but I don't like to be lied to. Especially when it concerns a life we all care deeply about.

I will not comment on this anymore. I am deeply hurt. I appologize to everyone for once again bringing it up. I will stop now.

For the last time, we know the people at this shelter and they tell everyone that it is a Kill Shelter so they don't get every single stray dog brought in there. They do NOT kill dogs because of population or behavior or anything. They only euthanize dogs that are very very ill. I worked for a no kill shelter back in AZ. They also KILL dogs for the same reason. So in truth EVERY shelter has to euth dogs at some point. I do NOT like being called a liar. I am only a liar on this subject if the shelter lied to me.

Now does everyone see why we chose not to comment on what happened to Maddie? We knew this would happen. We are not stupid and kept quiet for a reason. Now, thanks to this I am re-feeling the guilt that was starting to dissipate. I also knew in my heart that NO ONE could resist Maddie when they saw her and she would find a good home soon. As she did. So, thanks, to this whole fiasco for making the decision we made harder than it already was.

I guess I couldn't help being negative for once folks. My deepest apologies....truly.

Paul, PLEASE close this thread...... please. I am considering leaving this wonderful place as well........

Okay, peace be with you both.

Thank you for clearing up why you said it was a no-kill, but they said it was a kill shelter. That clarifies it for us all.

I am going to close this thread now, you can all Private Message me if you want.

I am glad that Angel and Aly have communicated here, that everything has been said and that we have established that no one needs to leave, that forgiveness is possible, and that, after all, we all love Maddie and are glad she is in a new home.

The fun of being a moderator is I can have the last words. Let them be:

Peace. Love. Understanding. Forgiveness.

Closing the thread now.

Amen.