Baby shower

Ugh... got an invitation to my cousin's baby shower. I adore my cousin but HATE her family, especially the family members throwing this shower. They are classless white trash to put it simply. Every time I've ever been around them, I know they are judging me because I am "better than them" - their words, not mine.

Sooo..... do I politely decline the invitation and then call my cousin after the shower to se if she can get together or do I go and put on a smile and pretend daggers aren't being aimed at my back?

Its a co-ed party. Which is really cute, but hubby will not be there because its the same day our son goes back to college. So I'll go alone but will have my mom there with me (dad works weekends). I COULD use my son's college drop off as the perfect excuse to not attend the party.

PS: Is it just me or is the phrase they had on the invitation tacky:
Took two to create
Takes two to celebrate
I KNOW what it takes to make a baby, but why announce it on an invitation? Seemed tacky to me... or could I just really hate these people so much that I'm LOOKING for things to complain about?

There is nothing wrong with a POLITE decline, sent with a gift. Nothing said beyond, "I am so sorry I won't be able to attend...". End of story. End of situation. End of discussion. Any questions, and you simply say, "I won't be able to make it...." again and again and again. If they want to keep askin' you just keep repeatin'.

I wouldn't subject myself to be snickered at and talked about behind my back. I would also decline. And maybe give your cousin a call later and try to meet and have your own little thing together. And yes I think that little "saying" is very tacky.

I would call your cousin and just say that you are unable to attend the shower, but would like to get together with her at her convience. This way you can give her your gift and don't have to deal with the daggers pointed at your back.

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Originally posted by Cataholic
There is nothing wrong with a POLITE decline, sent with a gift. Nothing said beyond, "I am so sorry I won't be able to attend...". End of story. End of situation. End of discussion. Any questions, and you simply say, "I won't be able to make it...." again and again and again. If they want to keep askin' you just keep repeatin'.

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Totally agree. Send a polite note declining and a great gift (directly to the expecting Mom). They don't need to open at the shower. How about a "future" gift? With your wonderful artistic talent, offer to do a drawing of Mom and newborn. Something like that will mean so much more over time than a diaper bag, etc.

I totally agree with Johanna. No reason for an "excuse" - fake or not. Just a "I apologize that I will be unable to attend" and a gift sent in your stead. Or wait, and give the gift in person when it's just the two of you.

Don't feel bad - I feel the exact same way about my soon-to-be sister-in-law's family. They are trash and her sister hates me because I offered to help out with the wedding (I'm not just "some friend" of Shannon's, I'm the sister of the GROOM!!!) AND because I am pregnant and she cannot have children. The bridal shower last month was TONS of fun. :rolleyes:

You don't have to give a detailed reason why you can't go so I agree, a card and gift instead (and yes that thing on the invite is tacky - be grateful they didn't include a diagram!)

Diddo to everything said!

That is SUCH a tacky saying! Ugh, how dumb are these people?

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(and yes that thing on the invite is tacky - be grateful they didn't include a diagram!)

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LOL!!!! Very true..

Steph and Jes

Whew... glad I'm not the only one who thought it was tacky. Mom didn't "see" it until I pointed it out. Hmmm... wonder what my SIL says? She hates that family too (just about the ONLY thing we agre on! :D )

I'll send my regrets, but call my cousin AFTER the shower since its a surprise shower. Like she won't be expecting a shower :rolleyes: Not only are they tacky people, they are loud mouths who can't keep a secret.

It seems you have already made a decision, but I was going to say it really depends on how much you care for your cousin, will she be offended that you are not there, if it were me, no matter how much i disliked the family, I would go for her sake, if it was likely to upset her that I was not there and that is coming from a social phobic who hates and loathes any mention of the word party, that is just my thoughts.

A simple unable to attend is all the response that is needed and yes that is tacky!

Ok, I have actually decided to GO to the party. I know mom will feel uncomfortable by herself. I'm going only beause of mom.

You have to understand my family. We WERE close-knit until Grandmom's death. She was the matriarch and ran the family like a dictator. When she died, nobody had reason to LIKE each other anymore. I personally only like my uncle (my cousin's step father... she's technically not even a true cousin) but hate his wife and her family. Anyway, its going to be an interesting day. I know all the players will be there and I know whispering will be going on. I know I will be biting my tongue not to say something. But I'll do it with a smile because my mom is not comfortable going alone.

Now... on to the gift. Should I:
A) buy the REALLY REALLY cute scrapbook album I saw last night (her nursery theme is Winnie the Pooh, and this book was too. A very expensive book, but is 50% off right now)
or
B) offer to do a portrait once the baby is here?

I think it is alright to politely decline the invatation(sp?) and since I saw the portrait of your cat(and loved it :D) I would offer to make a portrait of the baby once he/she comes and they could treasure it for the rest of their lives :)

p.s. that IS tacky, lol!