Apologies to Edwina's Secretary....
After this happened I think that I owe Edwina's Secretary and her whole household a deep and
heartfelt apology.
I'll start with some truths, dispel some myths and take my payback in stride.
First,
Concrete driveways really suck.
Two,
No amount of coaxing will get a cat to bend to your wishes.
Three,
Cats really don't listen.
Four,
The crinkly sound of a food packet won't get the cat to come running to your
side.
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I had a little fun with ES and her adventure with Eduardo aka Dartman.
I think that Edward and Eduardo might be able to team up as some kind of
super hero team...........Dartman and Meander Boy???
Edward has been pretty good lately, I have a small cage that he fits into...
This cage goes out on the patio, with the Edster in it, and he can sun, fun and watch the world go by...
At the end of his time to hang out, I open the door of the cage and he saunters (meanders) into the
house.......Pretty neat! I don't have to pick him up and the dogs will 'shepherd' him in the right direction,
should he decide to wander (meander) off....
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Time's up and I open up the cage......I start to sweet talk him to follow Daddy Dearest and what does he do?
He walks (meanders) off into the opposite direction....
ED????? EDDIE????
The little effer decides that he's gonna hang out under the truck...
I throw myself down on the concrete driveway and begin to chant my litany of the moment...
EDDIE, COME HERE...EDDIE, COME HERE...EDDIE, COME HERE...EDDIE, COME HERE...
I grab a stick and try to 'sweep' him towards me, no luck.
I go grab his favorite bag o' treats, back into the prone position and start my chant again....
EDDIE, COME HERE...EDDIE, COME HERE...EDDIE, COME HERE...EDDIE, COME HERE...
I go back into the house to put my shoes on..........go back to the concrete spot and...
EDDIE, COME HERE...EDDIE, COME HERE...EDDIE, COME HERE...EDDIE, COME HERE...
All this time he has taken up the Moving Sphinx Position at the farthest possible points from me.
He looks at me, decides that I am not trying hard enough to catch him so he feints like he is coming over
to where I am lying, turns around and shows me Cat Arse.......
WARNING
DISTURBING IMAGES TO FOLLOW...
I was hoping that his tail would get full of oil so I'd HAVE TO GIVE HIM A BATH when I caught his 'meandering' arse.
EDDIE, COME HERE...EDDIE, COME HERE...EDDIE, COME HERE...EDDIE, COME HERE...
WARNING.
A REALLY BRIGHT OBSERVATION FOLLOWS!!!
If you are looking under a car to find something the darkness is multiplied by a factor of 10xs.....
Twilight is upon us so I have to go grab a flashlight, I return to my spot and
EDDIE, COME HERE...EDDIE, COME HERE...EDDIE, COME HERE...EDDIE, COME HERE....
The flashlight makes his little, defiant Kitty Eyes sparkle in the gathering darkness.
This is starting to piss me off..
Thank God my nephew drops by and is able to corral the Meandering Maniac-
I can climb over the hood of the truck and pin his arse down, pick him up and toss him into the cage for transfer to the house.
Warning....
VERY DISTURBING IMAGES TO FOLLOW....
What do you think at a moment like that?
Getting out the pellet gun and popping him in the arse to get him out from under there?
Getting the broom to try and coax him out.
MOVE THE TRUCK??? Naw too easy, plus I'd have to start it up with him under it. I ain't putting the truck into neutral and taking the chance of running one of us over....
Anyway, I have learned my lesson and will never make fun of ES, Edwina or Edua.......ah, Dartman....
:D
I learned my lesson, until next time.....:cool: :p
