Getting cats to become friends

Meko does not want anything to do with Tiki. She doesn't go after him at least but she does hiss a lot at him, raise her hair up and does not even want to be around him at all. She's been staying outside almost all of the time. She wants to come in but not with Tiki there.

I know it's only been a few days since they were introduced to each other and they have only had about a week prior to that to get used to each others smells & the such. But Meko is not budging at all, she's actually getting worse as yesterday she started to growl at him.

Meko LOVES all the outdoor cats in my area and has gotten along with a friends cat that I was babysitting in my home and my other friend babysat Meko once in her home & she has 6 cats & Meko loved them all right off the bat. I don't know what it is about Tiki but she does not want anything to do with him. He's just leaves Meko alone.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to get them to get along, or at least tollerate each other enough so Meko will actually come inside to eat. She has hardly eaten much the past few days because she was always fed inside. I broke down last night & fed her outside so at least she would eat some. But I don't want her to be an outdoor only cat, I really don't think that that is what she wants either.

I've tried so many different things, but there is no way I can Meko close to the kitten, at least not without putting Tiki in danger.

She is still friendly with me & so far knock on wood not soiling in any off limit places and she's not destructive. But if she continues to be mad at the new addition she may start a destructive behavior.

I forgot to add that I finally remembered my camera but our computer had problems last week & it must of distrupted the kodak program as the program won't allow the camera to download anything. I'll have to remmeber to bring my disc back in with me tomorrow so you all can see some pics!

Meka and Max did NOT hit it off at all. I got Max in February and it is just now that he doesn't have scratch marks on his nose from her. They are finally rubbing on each other and smelling butts more. They do not sleep together yet and still fight and growl and hiss and swatt but they are so much better - they are finally learning how to play too. That is so good to watch as both were wild I don't think they really knew how to play at all. I think they don't know how to play with each other either but there has been a lot of improvement. It has been 4 months. So my point is as long as no one is hurt physically please give them a lot more time to come around on their own.. From what I gather on this board they may never be best friends but they will (hopefully) learn to talerate each other in the same house... Debbie

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Originally posted by cruisetime
Meka and Max did NOT hit it off at all. I got Max in February and it is just now that he doesn't have scratch marks on his nose from her. They are finally rubbing on each other and smelling butts more. They do not sleep together yet and still fight and growl and hiss and swatt but they are so much better - they are finally learning how to play too. That is so good to watch as both were wild I don't think they really knew how to play at all. I think they don't know how to play with each other either but there has been a lot of improvement. It has been 4 months. So my point is as long as no one is hurt physically please give them a lot more time to come around on their own.. From what I gather on this board they may never be best friends but they will (hopefully) learn to talerate each other in the same house... Debbie

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Thank you! And believe me I as long as no one gets hurt I will wait it out, as long as it takes. But I was wondering if there is anything I can do to help speed up the process.

I've got to figure out how to build something for Meko outside. Like a little shelter so she has a dry place to sleep & eat. She won't come inside unless I pick her up & bring her in.

Can you make her stay inside? I'm sure there is a lot of room for them to avoid each other inside???? Also I learned the hard way not to pick sides and not to play favorites. It is soooo hard to do too!!! But they compete for which one of them is to be by my side and I have learned to pet and praise both the same and let them figure it out. I love them both but Meka is my girl but when I play favorites Max backs down and gets scratched and they do not get along. When I let them figure out what they want (for that day - it changes each day I have learned) then they get along. BUT most of all I learned to make them understand that the TOP CAT is ME!!! When they thought they ruled the house all he..... broke loose but now they play for 3rd in command behind hubby and me... :):) That is why I asked if you can bring her inside but still give her enough room so she can escape if she wants??? Max and Meka have been forced to be together alone a lot as we have been leaving town just about every weekend and they have been home alone. I personally think this has helped a lot as they only fight about us when we are there. And I split them up taking one with me one weekend and they hated it and missed each other - Max didn't eat right at all and Meka was lonely.. So maybe it would be better if they have to be in the same place - not escape outside but still have an escape inside to go to. Besides she probably thinks the newcomer has also taken her space inside and is resentful to that too. As she has marked the house as hers and now the new one is there and she is not. Just ideas, Debbie

I can bring her in and there is enough room & litter boxes & the such, but as far as making her stay inside may be difficult. She's used to going outside when ever she wants to. Because of that reason, whenever the door opens she bolts out. And especially so now that Tiki is there, when I do bring Meko in she WILL NOT leave the door, just waiting to get back out & fast.
I'm afraid to really restrain her as I don't want to bring on any destructive behavior or more stress.

I have been trying to catch Meko at night so they are at least forced to be in the house for a good 8-9 hours but Meko is getting smart, she comes to me when called all the time, during day light, as soon as sunset she is no where to be found.

I've been trying to treat Meko the same, not really playing favorites but treating it more like a pack with a pecking order with me as the leader above all. Kind of like what you would do with dogs. But it is difficult, I can't feed Meko first or even in her usual spot as she won't come inside. I can't pet them at the same time without physically bringing Meko to Tiki or vice versa which would probably cause a fight.

Thanks for your ideas, I'm going to try my hardest to catch her late afternoon/evening & keep her in.


Do you think it may do any good to withhold food for a day or 2 and try to feed them a yummy canned food on a BIG plate so they may share it?

I'd say to give it time. Pouncer acts like a major idiot every time we introduce new fosters into the house. Its usually about a month where he's a major brat. We've had Flutter a month now, and just today he's decided to not hiss at her. I still can't touch him when he's in the same room as she is (or else I'll get hissed and growled at :rolleyes: )

I personally don't think it is good to make them eat on the same plate. Mine have so many problems with steal each others food and one over eats and throws up so it is just a mess. Expecially since I'm not there on weekends. I'd take them with me but that would stress them out. I don't think not feeding her would be good either BUT one idea is to combine the two. In the daylight when she comes to you put some form of can or treat food out for her just inside the door. That way she may need to come in a few feet and maybe even leave the door open so she knows she will be able to leave right after she eats. And I'm sure Tiki will want some too so you can feed him where he normally eats the same stuff. Maybe keep moving the treat plate for Meko a foot or so each day inside the house always leaving the door open. Then maybe you can switch it to her normal food or just add some in slowly till it is most if not all her own food. But I would not force them to eat together or even close to each other. Maybe just get her used to her bowl being just inside the door so she can eat inside but retreat outside when she wants. Is she enclosed outside or does she roam free??? Debbie

You might also try a crate if you're worried about one of them getting hurt. After I caught my Mowgli, he spent his first 2 weeks with me caged. Once he was given a clean bill of health, I started letting Zelda into the room Mowgli was caged in, and would just sit by the cage giving her attention and assuring her that she was still my princess. Then when Mowgli was comfortable enough with me that he wouldn't hiss and run and hide, Zelda was willing to tolerate him and eventually mother him.

If you don't want to invest in a cage, you could put Tiki in the carrier and set that out where Meko can check things out for himself at his leisure. And while you've got it set up so they really can't get at each other, it'd be a good time for a wet food treat so they can associate being around each other with good things happening.

If you're worried about one kitty in particular being an instigator, you might want to try the harness and leash approach when they're in the same room, so you can at least control the movements of the trouble-maker.

And then there's always Rescue Remedy to relieve stress (for you or the kitties). :D

THEY SHOULD ALL,HAVE SEPERATE PLATES,I HAVE 7,FEEDING STATIONS,AND NOW,THAT THEY ARE FRIENDS,I WILL HAVE 5.BUT A FOOD DISH,I FIND,IS VERY PURRSONAL,TO YOUR CAT,AND I WOULD PUT ANOTHER DISH,OR TWO,OUT,EVEN IF ITS,ONLY A LITTLE METAL BOWL.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...Picture276.jpg

NO ROOM,AT THE INN.WHATS A SCRAPPY,LITTLE LADY,TO DO?

Oh I do & still will let them have seperate food bowls (heck I've actually got about 4 bowls around the house) but I was just talking about a temporary thing & ONLY with the canned food and only once a day (they only get canned food once a day) just to help speed up the process.

It was just a thought. Feeding ferrets their duck soup (like a homemade canned diet) helps ferrets get along better with other ferrets.

I really don't think either cat is in danger unless they are forced to be close to each other so I won't crate them or anything.

Thanks for all the suggestions!

Sorry I can't wave a magic wand but I think given time and space - and you knowing as much as you do about animals they will be fine. :) :) :) In a few months you will wonder how they ever fought at all because they will be loving on each other... :) :) Debbie